#marriagematters especially for your kids

When I look back at wedding day pics of me and my bride, I’m stuck by the sheer lack of awareness that rests in our eyes! Our wedding day was pure joy, and we have nothing but great memories from December 28th, 1996. The process leading up to our wedding was crazy, tumultuous, fun, tense, joyful and even tearful, but our wedding day was beautiful.

19 years later and I can honestly say, we had no idea what this journey was going to be like. We’ve owned six cars, lived in 7 (I think?) houses in three states, I’ve had three jobs and we’ve enjoyed a fair amount of travel together. I’ve preached in several different countries, we have met amazing people and God has given us more than we ever imagined in terms of friendships and connections.

But more than any of that, on that beautiful snowy day in Salem on December 28th, 1996, we had no way of knowing just how much our three future children would change our lives. Nothing really prepares you for the title of parent, and I’m not sure if there is any aspect of life that is more rewarding and frustrating, more joyful and painful, more thrilling and excruciating than that of parenting. Traci and I wouldn’t trade our family for anything in the world, and truly, when we count our blessings, AJ, BJ and CJ are always at the top of the list.

So as I thought about this anniversary blog, I thought about how much influence our marriage has on our children. In fact, I think marriage is the single greatest influence on children, generally speaking, and here are 10 areas of life that your marriage is teaching your kids. In other words: your marriage matters to your children, more than we can ever quantify, so keep working at it!

1. Giving our children a true understanding of love: Everyone craves love. I’m guessing that half of the Christmas movies we watched this year revolved around the message of love and that, in the end, love is more important than anything else. But the happily-ever-after movie love, is only a tiny glimpse of how God defines love. Yes, love involves emotions and feelings and the touchy-feely side of relationships that is so attractive on the outside. However, that part of love is fleeting, and I’m sure all of us have seen it come and go on our Facebook feeds with friends still searching for it! True love goes so much deeper, involving a commitment and choice that strengthens those other aspects of love. Traci and I are constantly reminding our children, through our marriage, that real love is an act of the will, not something you fall into and out of based on the day. Real love is a choice to keep growing, changing, learning, confessing, forgiving and embracing one another as imperfect children of God, not as the fairy tale movie character with perfect hair first thing in the morning.
2. Helping them understand gender and roles: The gender crisis we are experiencing in our country today, I fully believe, is rooted in the marriage crisis we’ve been living with for decades. Godly marriages define and promote the beauty in God-designed gender differences and roles. The fact that men and women are different in creation, equal in value and designed to compliment each other in marriage is absolutely central in the gender discussion of our day. During the past 20 years of ministry discussions, with scores of people (from age 10 to 70) who have struggled with their gender roles and identity, I’m amazed that the vast majority of those conversations end up back at a marriage. Their marriage. Their parents’ marriage. Their in-laws’ marriage. Somewhere along the way, they saw in a marriage something that was out of balance. Usually it was a dad or mom that was abusive, controlling, hypocritically “religious” or absent. Somewhere along the journey, a broken or dysfunctional marriage was a major factor in this person’s struggle to embrace their own identity as a man or woman, and to accept the role(s) connected to that gender. Traci and I are teaching our kids the value of womanhood and manhood, teaching them how God designed those genders to work together and how beautiful His plan is in the right context.

   

3. Giving my son an example of what kind of woman he should seek: Our marriage is the first exposure to relationships that any of our children have had. I want AJ to see in Traci, the kind of woman that he should seek for his own marriage! As Traci and I work and our marriage together, he is seeing an example of a woman who sacrifices for her family, who lavishes grace on her children and husband, who takes joy in managing our home and crazy schedules, who excels in her business ventures and who loves her identity in Christ. AJ sees a woman who gives her all, and at the end of the day finds she still has more to give. He sees a wife and mom who loves her family, but prioritizes the relationship with husband even over her parenting tasks. Your marriage will be the standard by which your children will seek their own spouse, so give them a great target at which to shoot!
4. Providing a model for my girls to choose their husbands carefully: Like AJ, our girls are seeing how I treat Traci, and that will have a significant impact on the type of man they will choose. I want them to see a man who honors his wife above all other human relationships (even the ones with my kids!) and one who lives with his wife, not over her. My girls are seeing a husband that embraces and celebrates his wife and her successes, who promotes her above any other woman, and I hope they are seeing a man who won’t allow another woman to captivate him the way his wife does.
5. Teaching our kids generosity in all seasons of life: Your kids are learning about money from your marriage. A big issue for Traci and I is that we want our children to understand the true meaning of generosity in all stages and seasons of life. We want them to embrace abundant giving, even when the bank account has more pennies than dollars! How you manage money, how you talk about your finances and how you model your generosity will trickle down to your children in significant ways. Your marriage is teaching your children about life’s priorities, and where money fits on that list.
6. Showing them how to handle disappointment, heartache, anger and loss: Your marriage is a front-row seat for your kids to view how you handle life’s setbacks. Over 19 years of marriage we have navigated loss, anger, heartache, pain and suffering and our three kids have seen the cycles of grief and the processes of growth play out in our lives and marriage. They’ve watched as we’ve struggled with each other, how we’ve handled internal conflict, as well as how we’ve handled pressure from outside our marriage. As we navigate life’s hard stuff together, our children are seeing our marriage commitment played out in “real life” and I pray this will influence their own marriage commitments.
7. Demonstrating the importance of life with God: More than anything, I hope our children have seen that life with God is the best life imaginable. Our marriage has been a testing ground for us, and a viewing ground for our children, on whether or not we would hold the course God has set out for us. We’ve navigated great moments of praise and thanksgiving when everything came up like roses, and they’ve watched as we “ran the race” nicked up, injured and wondering where the path was headed. We pray that they will see us trusting the Lord in good times and bad, and that living life with God -- not near Him, not around Him, not close to Him only in crisis -- is the very best choice.

   

8. Teaching them boundaries of children and marriage: Marriage matters, and as Traci and I try to navigate the challenges of life in today’s hectic family schedules, we work hard to let our kids know that our marriage is a top priority. We take date nights every week, we enjoy kidless get-a-ways several times a year and have “no-talking-to-mom-and-dad” moments in our house, when we sit and enjoy conversation at the table. Our children are the greatest thrill to us, but our marriage relationship is still a top priority. Our kids are seeing that children don’t drive the family, marriage does.
9. Giving them a model of God’s love for us: In Ephesians 5, Paul explains one of the key purposes of marriage: it is a picture that is meant to represent the love God has for us through His Son, Jesus, and the love we are to show Him. “Husbands love your wives,” writes Paul, “as Christ loves the church.” “Wives submit to your husbands...as to the Lord...” A strong marriage, as imperfect as we are as humans, is meant to be home base for our kids in their relationship with God. I hope AJ, BJ and CJ can look to Traci, in all of her struggles and challenges, and because of how she lives in our marriage, know that they have a God who loves them perfectly and understand how they should respond to His love. Likewise, I hope they see in me what their Heavenly Father’s love is like -- despite my mistakes, sins and failures -- because of how I love my wife. That’s God’s plan for marriage!
10. Giving them a good time around parents who love each other and their children: Our kids are learning that marriage is a joy, and that it’s fun to be together, living as a couple and moving towards the same goals and dreams together. Yes, marriage is hard work, but there is a deeper joy experienced by two imperfect people when they commit themselves to each other in following God’s design for marriage and family. We laugh a lot in our marriage -- and in our family! -- and our children see the way Traci and I love being together.

There are many more I could add to this list. When I think about my parents and the example they set for me and my siblings, I know this list isn’t all-inclusive. I also know that I certainly don’t live these out perfectly, but that’s part of the learning for my kids, too -- they are watching two imperfect people trust God with their lives while devoting themselves to each other. They are watching a mom and dad make mistakes, grow, then change while still moving forward, together, one day at a time.

Frankly, that’s the beauty of reflecting on this for me and I hope for you, too. Mistakes are part of the learning process for everyone, and if you’ve made mistakes in your marriage -- or maybe you’re making a big one right now -- you can get back on track and show your children the right path, today. Kids will have to make their own decisions about marriage and relationships, but I promise you that Your marriage is the first place they’ll look to as a model of what’s possible and what’s worth pursuing. Working hard on your marriage is worth it for you, your spouse and for the marriages your children will have in the future.

What would you add to this list that your kids are learning from your marriage?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- especially your marriage! -- is always better on the water!

#marriagematters

A sappy birthday blog for my wife

Today, my beloved wife turns 43 years old. We have celebrated 19 of those years married, and 8 before that while we were dating. So 27 times I’ve Happy Birthdayed her, as a boyfriend, fiancé or husband. 43 isn’t one of those “milestone” birthdays, so it seems easy to sweep 43 under the carpet. I decided to make it a bigger deal by celebrating her birthday all week, and by writing this post to give you 43 reasons why I’m still crazy in love with my wife. Prepare to gag over the mushiness of this. Feel free to steal any of these words that you can use (however, do change the name “Traci” to the appropriate name in your situation) in your own relationships and of course, remember to bless the people in your life that have such meaning to you!

1. She experiences pure joy in Jesus. Traci knows her center for life is not me, not the kids and not her work...it’s in her relationship with Christ. And she always goes back to that place in the craziness of life.
2. She is fiercely loyal. Loyalty and commitment are deeply ingrained in Traci, and as a friend, lover, business owner and mom, she is loyal with those to whom she connects deeply.
3. She is full of laughter. My wife laughs a lot, and she brings a lot of laughter into our lives.

4. 

   She is a tad crazy. Traci has this fun and spontaneous side to her, and it creates great moments in our lives.

5. She understands our daughters. Cute little girls grow up to be teenage daughters who have complicated emotional lives, that complicate significantly around age 12. Traci gets it. (hallelujah...standing ovation...cheers...applaud...relief!)
6. She understands our son. Not only does she mom our daughters, but she has an amazing relationship with our son, too. He turns to her for advice and inspiration, and I know she’s modeled for him the type of wife he should look for some day.
7. She is athletic. One of the first qualities that attracted me to Traci back in high school, was her ability to participate in youth group games and be better than about 1/2 the boys.
8. She inspires others: Many of you reading this blog have been inspired by Traci and her writings, by her honest struggles with life, and by her victories. People look to her as someone to imitate.
9. She inspires me: I’ve lived with her for almost 19 years and she still, regularly, pushes me to new heights and into new challenges.
10. She is full of tears: I love that my wife is free with her emotions, and ok to cry with her own pain, share tears as she feels the pain and hurt of others and as she expresses worship and praise to God.
11. She is stunningly hot: When I think back to that first glance at her, in the late 80’s, with big hair and 90’s bangs, I remember how stunned I was by her looks. 27 years later, I’m more dazzled than ever, as I’ve come to understand that her outer hotness is matched only by her inner beauty. Inside and out, she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.
12. While we’re talking about hot, let’s just assume that numbers 12-15 would not be appropriate to share publicly. So wink-wink, nod-nod, snicker-snicker...she is the inspiration behind one of my more popular blogs, “5 ways to improve your sex life.” (go ahead and click the link...no judgment here!)
13. PG-13
14. PG-13
15. R
16. She works hard. You could never use the word “lazy” to describe my wife. Ever.
17. She dreams BIG! Our life and family dreams are significantly broader and deeper than they would be if it was just me dreaming them! Traci sees the greatness of God and believes deeply in HIS ability to lead His children into great things.
18. She rarely holds anything back. My wife will step into uncomfortable situations, and is willing to give it her all, regardless of the cost or the outcome.
19. She is unwilling to not grow. My wife is always reaching out for growth, always learning from God’s Word and is eager to become more of who God made her to be. She never stops growing and learning.

    

20. She knows how to rest. I love that my wife knows how to work hard, and I love that she knows how to rest and take care of herself.
21. She loves vacation. Traci takes a B+ vacation and makes it an A+. She takes a C- vacation...and makes it an A+. She loves taking our family time and making it better. And she’s very, very, good at it.
22. She loves being surprised. My wife loves being surprised by others. I pity my friends who have a spouse that HATES surprises, and actually, if they feel surprised by a weekend away, a special gift etc... are usually more upset (at least initially) than happy at the gift. I love surprising Traci with little and big things -- it doesn’t matter! -- because she loves being surprised and makes them extra special.
23. She cooks. If you and I are ever trapped in a building, and our survival depends on my culinary skills, we are both going to die of hunger. I’m grateful for my wife’s skills in the kitchen.
24. She manages our family well. Traci is the family organizer. She keeps us running smoothly, she manages appointments, she keeps a great calendar and even in the last season of life where we were homeless and out of schedule/routine, she managed us with excellence.
25. She has an unshakeable faith. No matter how dire things can get, Traci believes in the hand of God and in His ability to bring change to any situation.
26. She runs hard. Last October we ran our first 1/2 marathon, together. It was a metaphor for our lives then (and now), and one of my take aways was seeing the relentless nature of my wife emerge. She runs hard and she refuses to give up. I love her tenacity toward goals and dreams.
27. She listens well. I love that my wife listens. Not passively, but she actively listens to people. She cares about her relationships and she listens without the need to interrupt, offer unsolicited advice or cast judgment without knowledge.
28. She is wise. My wife will frequently tell me, “I wish I knew what to say when...” Truth is, she does know what to say, and knows when to say it. She knows how to process life experiences and how to give wise advice, not just what-you-want-to-hear isms.
29. She thinks I’m funny. Seriously, she still laughs at my jokes. She still smiles when someone in our house says “wrap” and I start rapping like MC Hammer.
30. She can, on occasion, be a tad clumsy. It’s a cute clumsy and it’s hilarious when it shows up.

31. 

    She can laugh at herself. #30 has led to a number of tear-enducing moments in our marriage..the laughter kind of tears.

32. She enjoys a simple life: My wife has a simplicity about the way she lives, and I absolutely love it.
33. She is a great communicator. Traci connects with people when she speaks in a public platform. It’s not just that what she says is good (which it is!), it’s that she says it in such a way that people connect with her and her message. She makes friends in her public ministry, just because people feel like they know her after she’s done sharing. When we teach together, I always marvel at the number of people who walk away feeling like Traci is their friend because of how she communicates.
34. She looks great in anything she wears: I love that she looks great in sweat pants and a baggy sweatshirt, as well as in her little black dress or business casual outfit. She can wear jogging shorts that always make me do a double take, or she can go full tilt for a night at the Magic Castle and wow me when she walks into the room.
35. She’s not afraid of trouble. Life is full of trouble and hardship. Traci doesn’t run from any of them and she isn’t afraid to face down whatever is right in front of us.
36. She knows me, and still loves me. No human knows me better than my wife, and even with that full knowledge, she loves me fully and blesses me beyond reason.
37. She sees things from a different angle. We can read the same Bible story, we can look at the same picture, and Traci sees things that I miss. Ok, I miss a lot, so that may not be that impressive, but she sees things that almost everyone misses. She has a great perspective on life.
38. She is my biggest fan. It doesn’t matter what I’m throwing myself into, my wife believes that I will find success. No matter what the odds, no matter how many frustrating walls I’ve smacked my head against, she believes that I will find a breakthrough.

    

39. She is passionate. While this certainly would include things back up in 12-15, it also includes life outside the bedroom. Traci is passionate about what she does, who our kids are and how God is working in and through our family. She approaches life, the highs and lows, with passion. Her passion is contagious.
40. She is humble. I’ve learned a lot from Traci’s humility in life. Her humility magnifies her beauty.
41. She is talented. She’s a great public speaker. She’s a talented pianist. She’s a great cook. She’s an excellent athletic, life and business coach. I could go on, just know that she’s incredibly talented.
42. She promotes our kids. Traci promotes our kids, challenges them to grow, knows when to push and knows when to pull them in close. She is an amazing mother.
43. She invests heavily in our marriage. My wife guards our marriage, protects her own heart and emotions and happily celebrates with me, the journey we’re on.

I feel like I’m just warming up, so I guess she’ll just have to keep having birthdays so that I can keep adding to this list.

I am a blessed man, more than these words could ever express. I’m sure many of you feel the same about your families, your marriages, your friendships or about some other relationship in your life. Celebrate those people in your life, be sure to tell them how much they mean to you and my God fill you with an overflowing joy through the people closest to you.

Go ahead and take the plunge, your relationships will always be better on the water!

300

Thank you. 300 times, thank you! Thank you for your amazing support.

Thank you for friendships.

Thank you for your encouragement and willingness to walk this Overboard journey with me and my family.

Thank you for reading this blog.

In fact, 300 times you’ve come to this blog and dialed up the words and challenges put on my heart by God and His Word. Thank you for following, reading, commenting, correcting my lousy grammar and encouraging me along the way. Most of all, thank you for growing with me as Overboard Ministries is becoming a movement of people eager to live their God-designed lives of faith, out of the comfort of the boat and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom.

Over 50,000 times this blog has been read by people from 75 different countries. (I know, small potatoes for some of you bloggers, but for this boy, I’m blown away by what God has done!) 12 books have been released, with several more scheduled before year’s end. We have dozens of financial partners supporting our work each month, and nearly 100 people who pray for us regularly. The list goes on and on, and all I can say is “Thank you!”

I am humbled and grateful and can’t wait to see what God does in the next 300 blog posts.

As a way of remember the path we've traveled, here is one of my favorite blog posts (definitely t0p-5 out of 300!), dating pack to April of 2013. This was blog #102 (198 posts ago!). Enjoy.

Joe Castaneda

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Every time I watch a movie, read a story or see something about Dick and Rick Hoyt, I usually end up wiping tears from eyes. Over 950 times Dick has pushed his son Ricky in a wheel chair or pedaled him on a bike or pulled him in a canoe across race finish lines all over the U.S. Every time I think of this duo, I am reminded of what the power of a father’s love can do.

Rick Hoyt is severely disabled. And when doctors told the family to just “put him away” because he would never be more than a vegetable, the Hoyt family decided to take him home and prove doctors wrong. Take ten minutes to watch this special piece on Team Hoyt as they tell their amazing story:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36fjVFHNU48

My favorite part of the video is when Dick says, “He’s competing. I just give him my arms and legs, but he’s competing.” I am so moved by that father’s love and I am so reminded of the love of my own Heavenly Father in the same way.

I’ve often heard people use the phrase, “we are the hands and feet of Jesus” -- and in one sense it is very true. We represent Jesus in this world, and the way we walk and serve will be the best (or sometimes worst) representation of Jesus some people will ever see.

But in another very real sense, we are all like Ricky Hoyt. “Powerless” on our own, but with God as our hands and feet, we are able to compete in this life. We are able to put aside our own selfish ambition and vain conceit, we are able to serve others as we have been served, we are able to love as God loved and we are able to run our race because of God’s power in us. We aren’t gods; we are God’s.

At the end of his life, the Apostle Paul told Timothy, “I have the run the race” and he was ready to receive his reward. How did Paul run? He ran as man pushed by God. He didn’t run on his own strength, He ran with God’s! In 2 Corinthians 11:23-29, Paul lists out the trials he worked through in his life while serving God. Then, in chapter 12, he discusses a “thorn in flesh” -- some sort of extreme suffering that kept him dependent on God. And at the end of this recounting of all of his hardships Paul says this, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Paul was just admitting that he was like Ricky Hoyt. No mistaking it -- Paul was competing. But he was competing with the power of God’s arms and God’s legs, so that using God’s strength, God would be glorified in Paul’s life.

You can’t live Overboard in your own strength for very long. Let God give you the power you need to press on so, like Paul, you too can finish your race!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Lessons from a half-marathon: Miles 10-12

Every long-distance runner I’ve talked to knows what’s next. Even some top level runners who helped me prepare for the race told me to be aware of it. Facing it is daunting, yet it’s so common that it’s a regular euphemism used in sports, business, relationships and anything that requires any amount of consistent work. What is it? It is the wall. And I hit mine squarely between miles 10 and 11.

As Traci and I came off the hard work of miles 7-9, we received a little energy boost from the mile 9 aid station that featured grapes, donut holes and water. I ate two grapes, 1/2 a donut hole and drank a small cup of water while running thru the challenges leading up to miles 10-12. The challenges offered in mils 7-9, however, were nothing compared to the wall we hit between miles 10-11.

After the aid station, we continued up the steepest hill of the course thru mile 10 and into mile 11. And when we finally crested the top and started a nice downhill portion of the race, a small change made a big impact on our capacity to reach the end with umph. What change? Something as simple as switching sides of the road.

Up to that point in the race, we had been running on the left side of the road. That’s pretty natural since that’s how runners train and how most courses are set up. In doing this, my body had pretty well adjusted to running on the edge of the road with the crown of the road (the high side) under my right foot , and the lower part beneath my left. At times the crown was pretty pronounced, at other times the edge of the road was almost level. Either way, I’m pretty well-adjusted to running in that situation.

In-between miles 10 and 11 though, we were pushed back to the right side of the road, and found ourselves in a different position, with the left foot now falling higher than the right foot. Honestly, it doesn’t seem like that big of change even now as I write this, and at the time it didn’t even cross my mind as we were moving from the left side, to the right side, of the road.

Just a minute after crossing the road, my left foot was screaming in pain; not just discomfort, but genuine pain as the road had changed underfoot. I didn’t hear any other runners mention this, so maybe our inexperience was part of the problem, but whatever the reason, the switch from the left side of the road, to the right side of the road, had a significant impact on my running state of mind.

Traci was feeling it too, so as we crossed the 11-mile-marker and started out on our 12th mile, the challenges were growing stronger. We had most definitely, hit our wall.

When we finished the last of the hills and were mid-way thru mile 12, we found ourselves “jogging” at a pretty slow pace. In fact, we decided a brisk walk was faster than our current jog, so we walked for about a 1/4 mile. Since neither of us had ever run more than 8.6 miles prior to this race, we recognized we had already run 4 miles further than ever before. We both wanted to end by running thru the finish line, so this brief respite before the final 1/4 mile was very necessary.

Our strength was zapped. Our emotions were running high. Our resolve was being tested.

I learned a lot “at the wall” on Sunday. Here are three of those lessons:

1. You must know why you are running in order to keep running when you hit the wall. For me and Traci, the why of this race has always been the same: it’s a metaphor for the place we are in life. The training, the injuries, the set-backs and the race itself, all of it offers a great word picture of where we are in the journey God has placed us on. We were running to vividly remind ourselves to hold the course in life, to stay on the path that God has provided and to keep pressing on even when the necessary strength is hard to find. We ran this race, because we are running the race as we live out God’s purpose for our lives.
2. Never run alone. The wall is formidable, and your resolve is not enough. Sure, you will hit some lesser walls you can manage on your own, but I promise, your journey in life will bring you face-to-face with challenges that you cannot conquer without help. God didn’t place you on this earth for you to live the life of a Lone Ranger, but rather, for you to live life in the richness and depth of a community of people living out their God-designed lives together. We were created for caravans. I am confident I would not have even entered the race had I not been running with Traci. When our race was over, she told me several times she wouldn’t have finished had it not been for me. Together we ran. Together we faced the wall. Together we broke thru that barrier and are reminded of what great rewards God has for us if we’ll do the same with the barriers we face in this life!
3. Don’t ever stop. We slowed down. We changed our pace as we moved from a plotting jog to a brisk walk, but we never stopped our forward progress. Press on when you hit the wall, because if you stop, it’s almost impossible to regain your forward momentum. Walk. Hobble. Crawl. Just don’t ever stop.

What about you? Are you at a wall right now? Has your forward momentum been stunted by a giant barrier? Are you contemplating giving up? Are you going to stop? As you pursue your God-sized dreams, you will come face-to-face with dream-crushing walls that want to discourage you to the stopping point. Let me encourage you to press on. Let me urge you to continue the walk of faith, and to keep moving on the race God has given you. If God has given you the dream, He will give you the means to fulfill it, just don’t ever stop!

The Overboard Life is lived in faith, believing that running the race God has given us is better than any race we could run ourselves. It’s a life that must be lived in faith, using all that we have and are, while trusting fully in all that He is and can supply.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Thoughts about the tragic death of Robin Williams

Last Monday I was enjoying the great city of Seattle, Washington, watching Felix Hernandez take care of the Toronto Blue Jays in classic Felix fashion. He was as dominant as always, and I was pumping my fist as the Mariners put up seven runs in the sixth inning when I heard the news: actor/comedian Robin Williams had tragically chosen to take his own life. That news certainly dulled the moment, and then later when I had a chance to watch a little news and read a couple of headlines, the facts of his death underscored the tragedy of the moment. The comedian who could make anyone laugh, famous for his many Hollywood starring roles and off-color standup comedy, struggled to find lasting happiness in his own life. News stories emerged detailing his history of substance abuse and addiction, as well as a fairly constant struggle with depression.

On Tuesday morning, Facebook and Twitter were ablaze with comments about Robin’s death. People were sharing their favorite Williams’ jokes and movies, posting memes of him from many of his famous movie characters and linking to Youtube videos of their favorite movie moments. A comedy icon had died and no one was laughing.

By Tuesday afternoon the blog world was buzzing with reflection on Robin’s death (apparently I’m a couple days behind!). Many people began sharing their identification with Williams’ struggle with depression while others just shared heartbreak over his passing and the tragic sense of hopelessness that must have filled his last days on earth. It seemed like few people had any kind of beef with Robin, as a comedian, humanitarian or actor.

I’ve spent the last few days reading blogs, new stories and Facebook posts about this event and have reflected a lot on the sadness of his death. In doing so, I’ve had four thoughts going through my head that I want to share with you. I would love your thoughts and input to develop these even further.

First, and maybe most importantly, Robin’s death reinforces the value of every life. As a pop-culture icon, Robin Williams taking his own life carries with it a tragedy of news-worthy proportion, but it represents a story that repeats itself 110 times every day in the U.S. While his death makes more news because of his international fame, it doesn’t mean that his life was more valuable than the 16-year-old who suffocated himself because of intense bullying, the 13-year-old cheerleader who overdosed because of a naked picture of her gone viral or the 42-year-old dad who shot himself because of a lost job and the shame of telling his wife that he’d been out of work for months. Every life is valuable.

I wish all people who feel so grieved about the loss of Robin’s life, felt the same grief about the loss of every life! Created uniquely by God, humans stand distinct in the universe as carrying the marks of Image Bearers of the Almighty (Genesis 1:26-27). According to Psalm 139, that means God was intimately and personally involved in the inside-out creation of every human being ever conceived. And that means no life is made more valuable because of what it does or doesn’t do, any more than the value of a life is diminished by what it accomplishes or fails to achieve.

To be human is to be valuable.

Secondly, the tragic death of a celebrity always reminds us that people are, at their core, just people. Celebrities are not the iconic figures they represent on the stage or big screen, they are simply gifted people (in most cases) in a particular aspect of pop-culture. Something has made them popular to a large segment of the world around them, but that doesn’t remove them from their fundamental identity as part of the human race. We may try to make them more than that, but all our efforts will fail in vain regardless of the fame or “bigger than life” status that person may achieve.

Being human means being broken and having needs. Celebrity status seems to create an impossible image of someone; an image that may come from our own perception of what the perfect “us” would be like. In other words, if we could finally arrive at the perfect person, it would be the celebrity singer, actor, model or athlete that we elevate to near god-like status. But that person doesn’t exist, instead, all persons face the same reality from a sin-soaked world -- we are a broken race. A casual glance at the world around us reveals the brokenness in which we all live: you, me and sadly Robin Williams, too.

To be human is to be broken.

Thirdly, every human being longs for deep and meaningful connection. In a day and age when connection is readily available, we seem hard-pressed for intimacy and transparency. I’m always amazed when I read the story of creation in Genesis 1-2, that after God created Adam, a perfect man in a perfect world engaging with a perfect God, that our God utters these words, “It is not good for man to be alone.” In fact, it almost seems sacrilegious to imply that being close to God isn’t enough to sustain us, but it's a fact that God created us for connection, not only with Him but with our fellow man as well. And not just as a good idea, but as a necessary and fundamental component of our existence!

Today I spent a little time surfing Facebook, and I was shocked to realize how many posts were made in an attempt to make some sort of significant connection. One young lady’s post was truly a cry for help, as she begged people to engage with her thoughts or ideas. A platform that allows for unfiltered personal expression is not the same things has having intimate connection. (And no, I’m not making any judgment on the various forms of social media, I’m simply stating that mass personal exposure doesn’t expressly translate into intimate personal connection.)

To be human is to be in need in intimate connection.

Finally, as the details of Robin’s suicide surface, we must be compelled to see the people around us with new eyes. I wonder how many people noticed something was off with Robin, but chose not to reach out, or assumed that he must be fine because he is the wildly loved and successful Robin Williams? How many people do we know, do we see, do we speak to and do we pass every day who are “fine on the outside” but screaming for help on the inside? How many people reading this blog wish someone would care enough to look them in the eyes and ask, “how are you doing?” and then actually stick around for the answer?

As I’m sitting here at the airport writing this, thousands of people are marching by en route to some appointment, somewhere. Some are probably heading out to meet family, others flying to a business appointment, while still others, like me, are just trying to make it back home. Despite walking shoulder to shoulder with scores of people and making eye contact with thousands of individuals while walking the concourses at the world’s busiest airport, how many of them feel as alone as if they were they were the only person in the terminal?

To be human is to be aware of the problem.

To be super-human, however, is to do something about the problem.

Lasting change happens when people have a personal encounter with the personal God, and often, that personal encounter happens when one of God’s people embraces the Overboard Life and reaches out to someone in need. No, I’m not suggesting that every problem we face is simply resolved as a spiritual matter. Yes, I am suggesting that a relationship with God is vital to long-term health and true healing that occurs from the inside, out.

Because we are a broken people, we must find healing from the One who experienced the reality of our brokenness, without personally being broken. Jesus Christ came to experientially understand our condition, by knowing hunger and pain, heartache and loss and even betrayal and anger (Hebrews 4-7). But in His experience, He never once sinned or violated God’s sacred Law. As a result, we have a compassionate God who sympathizes with us in every way, and longs to fill us with hope, love, grace, mercy and healing. That super-human filling frees us to reach out to others who need the same touch!

Will you be the one to reach out to someone desperate for help, someone who needs more than a smile and a casual “how are you doing?” Will you embrace the value of every life and ask God to help you reach out?

Go ahead and take the plunge, others are in desperate need of what you have to offer!

Hi: My name is Joe and I'm a quitter.

If you could hear the thoughts bouncing around in my head while I’m running, I’m pretty sure you’d demand immediate psychiatric evaluation. It’s crazy what goes on in my brain as I train for my October half-marathon, and one thing is certain: I’m a quitter.  

Tonight I ran my first 10k distance: 6.2 miles of non-strop running. I actually logged 6.24 miles (but who’s counting?) in just over one hour and four minutes, and the battle to stay out on the course was significant. I originally began the night thinking I’d try to run 5-miles again, since I had just completed my first 5 miler last week. But after I finished 3 miles, I had this crazy thought to push through to 6, and as I got closer to 6, my legs told me to go ahead and finish up a 10k.

Sounds sane, doesn’t it? Once I got past the one mile mark however, the conversation in my head was a constant battle. On the one hand, I really wanted to achieve this goal, on the other hand, I wanted to quit and head back to the house to sip a cold beverage and admire how easy a mile was.

As I finished up three miles, my wife split off from me and I headed out on my own. When I’m running with my wife, I know I have her encouragement to stay on the trail and keep up pace. As soon as she peeled off, my desire to quit grew even stronger. So as I turned to complete my second 3-mile circuit, I did a mental check:

Me: Self, how are you feeling?

Self: Lousy. I hate running. My feet hurt. My back hurts. My eyes hurt. My hair hurts.

Me: Wait...your hair hurts?

Self: If that will get you to stop running, then yes. My hair hurts.

Me: Liar.

Self: Okay, but I was serious about my feet and my back.

Me: Baby.

Self: I really don’t like you.

It was crazy, every step of the way I kept trying to come up with reasons why I should quit. Do you ever do that? Are you ever looking to stop?

You know what I realized: there is always a reason to quit! In running, every step is a reason for me to quit: My feet can be sore, my calf might be aching, my back gets tired of the bouncing and, as you can tell, my brain is working against me. Tonight my shoulders were tense, and even though I tried to consciously relax them, I kept finding myself tensed (not sure why!). Even on the night of a good run, like tonight, there is always multiple reasons to quit!

What about you? What are you trying to fight for, but find yourself in the mental battle about quitting? Are you wrestling in your marriage? There will always be a reason to give up. Are you contemplating how doable your God-sized dreams are? There will always be a reason to quit. Are you struggling under the burden of debt? Every day you will have the chance to put it off another 10 years! Are you working hard on improving your health? Temptation to give-in is always just around the corner.

You see, the easy choices in life don’t require much effort. Choosing to stay unhealthy is easy. Letting my marriage go to pot doesn’t require any work on my part. Giving up on my dreams is as easy as making Netflix a 2-hour/night habit. The easy choices don’t require much effort. It’s the ones we really want that require effort. And even more than effort, they require a reason!

And I realized tonight that what kept me running after mile 3...and 4...and 5...and 6 was a BIG reason; it wasn’t my effort, and it certainly wasn’t my passion for running. My preparation for this race is a picture for my life right now -- I’m running because this process represents the work that I believe God is doing in my life. I’m in the middle of a long stretch of His working, and He is opening up doors and opportunities for me that require patience, discipline, hard work, endurance and even some joy in the journey! As I physically prepare for a 1/2 marathon, God is teaching me that what it takes to run long distances are the same qualities needed to run spiritually, and to chase after God-sized dreams.

Hebrews 12:1-2 have become my theme verses this year. The writer encourage the readers to strip off anything that hinders them, so that they can “run their race(s)” with perseverance and focus. "Running our race" is a spiritual discipline, that's hard, requires a great deal of effort and sometimes doesn't feel very rewarding in the moment. But God uses that discipline to make us into who He wants us to be, so that we can do what He wants us to do.

Yet, as most of us know, discipline isn't pleasant. We often like the results of the discipline, but the process of being disciplined is far from enjoyable. In fact, we usually tend to resist it and that's why we don't "run our races!" So as the passage goes on, the author gives the big reason why we should run and endure the discipline: “...but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (12:11).

Physically, I'm looking forward to the fruit of discipline that will reveal itself when I complete my race in October. Crossing that finish line will be a big accomplishment, whatever form it takes (even if I'm crawling across!). Spiritually, I'm looking forward to the fruit of the discipline that is required to achieve the God-sized dreams placed inside my heart. In both cases, I have to be willing to be trained by the discipline and the hard work of grinding out the pavement, mile after mile.

And that's why I kept running tonight.

What's your BIG reason for pushing on? Why will you fight for your marriage? How will you keep pressing on toward your God-sized dreams and goals? Where will you find the strength to eat up more pavement when your brain is telling you to quit?

When we live the Overboard Life, we are focused on the BIG why's in our lives, pressing on in the race that God has given us. It's not easy and the process of discipline hurts -- but it has a big payoff when we've truly been trained by it.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Project Nehemiah was written to help people identify their goals and go after them with passion and faith. This tool is available in our bookstore in both print and e-book formats (and soon in audible format, too!). Grab a copy today!

Three thoughts for the weekend

It was a big show down. Me and two of my buddies, Joe T and Terry K, were going to meet up with three other guys to settle a big dispute. It was a proverbial “meet me at the flagpole” kind of event, and there was no turning back now. You could almost hear the eerie music playing in the background, the spurs on our boots rattling as we walked to the middle of town for a big shoot out. That’s what it felt like.  

You see, Terry had heard that Larry had something some bad about me. So now it was time to confront the talk. Basically, I told Larry, “I dare you to say it to my face!” and so we agreed at a set time to meet on the playground for this face-to-face confrontation to take place.

Now, at this point in my life, I had never actually been in a fight, and in fact, to this day in my life, I have never been in a real fist fight. Larry was short but strong, had been in lots of fights, and honestly, this was going to end badly for me. I think Terry and Joe came for moral support, and to be able to tell my mom that I died in glorious fashion at my own O.K. Corral.

We waited around a few minutes but Larry never made an appearance. By the grace of God, Larry had gotten in trouble in Mrs. Zioski’s class and had to stay in for recess. I lived another day, and by lunch we had decided that Larry wasn’t worth the trouble (ie. I didn’t want to go through life with my nose attached to my ear) and we all (including Larry) played football in our afternoon recess.

I talked a good game, especially when Larry wasn’t around, but truth is, I never ever mocked Larry for not showing up. It’s so easy to destroy people with our words in front of others, or on social media or through texting, but another thing entirely to do it when they are in our presences, especially if we feel threatened. Talk is easy.

Check out this piece by Jimmy Fallon involving Seattle Mariner baseball star, Robinson Cano. Last year, Cano played for the NY Yankees, but was traded to Seattle in the off-season. As the Mariners were getting ready to head to NY for Robinson’s first visit back to NY after being traded, Fallon thought it would be funny to let NY Yankee fans practice their booing. So Jimmy set up a cardboard cut out of Cano in a park, then invited Yankee fans to demonstrate their booing techniques. What happens next is hilarious:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b9rOji_PWY

You see, before Cano actually showed up, it was easy to bad-mouth him and talk badly about his character, his skill and his decision making. But the minute Robinson appeared, everybody’s tone changed. They offered man-hugs, high fives and even encouragement when they were facing the real Cano instead of the cardboard Cano.

So what do we learn about this video? Here are three thoughts for this weekend about our words around others:

Gossip will always come back to bite you: If you enjoy berating people behind their backs or blasting them through passive aggressive facebook posts (“some people I work with are complete idiots” was on my FB feed this week!) just know that it will always come back to bite you. Gossips are always easy targets for gossip. It’s just a fact of relationship: people who listen to gossip are the people who share gossip, and they are non-discriminate. In other words, when they hear gossip about you, they’ll spread it just like any other news. I always chuckle when one of my kids is involved in a circle of gossip, and then are crushed when they become the subject of someone else’s gossip. I always remind them that gossip is a sin (1 Timothy 5:13) and that people who gossip don’t care who it’s about! Gossip will always come back to bite you.

Ending gossip is easy: If you want to put an end to family or office gossip, it’s easy: stop participating. Don’t spread it. Don’t listen to it. Don’t pay any attention to those that gossip. I promise you that soon people will take you out of the loop and you won’t find yourself having to do the socially awkward political dance when you see people that you’ve heard gossip about. You know what else will happen? You will attract people to you who share your same anti-gossip conviction. There is something awesome about not having to worry about what everyone else is saying, and instead, having meaningful conversations and relationships. In reality, gossip is one of the ultimate forms of not caring for someone enough to do anything to help them, choosing instead, to just talk about their character flaws or personal mistakes. We end gossip when we begin to genuinely care for those around us.

Practice first-person problem solving: Ending gossip doesn’t mean ignoring real problems. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Ending gossip means confronting problem first-person style! Instead of airing out my problems online or at the office water cooler, I deal with relationship issue the way Matthew 18:15-17 tells me to: person-to-person. If I have an issue with you, I go to you. If I was offended by something you said, I take it up with you. If you don’t like how I’m leading the business, you come to me. If you think I was sarcastic and cut you down in public, you take it up with me. By following God’s plan for problem solving we eliminate the place for gossip and we create peace instead of tension.

Telling a cardboard cut-out how you feel about it is easy; telling someone face-to-face is hard. Let’s not be like angry NY Yankee fans when it comes to personal conflict but instead, let’s follow the path the Bible lays out for us and choose God’s path for problem solving.

There is no gossip out side of the boat, so go ahead and take the plunge -- life is better on the water!

Two 12-year-old [almost] murderers

Sometimes the news is so disturbing. This week has been one of those weeks.  

Last night I came across the story of 2, 12-year-old Wisconsin girls who plotted the murder of one of their friends. These girls had, for some time, been working up the courage to kill another girl by stabbing her to death in order to, according to several media reports, fulfill some self-created connection to the fictional horror character Slenderman.

Everyone is shocked by the vicious attack that took place. It is sick enough that it involves two 12-year-old girls, but multiplied by the malicious intent, the months of planning, the sickening debate that occurred over how/when/who to attack along with the unfathomable connection to a fictional online character. (The girls believed that after killing their victim, they would live with this character in his castle in the woods.)

Miraculously, despite 17-19 stab wounds, the victim was able to crawl to a public place where a passing cyclist saw her, called police and the child did not pass away. She is in stable condition, physically, but I’m guessing the horrors of what just happened will terrorize her dreams for many nights to come. As a parent of an 11-year-old, I cannot imagine the heartache, pain, suffering, fear, anger, hurt, and loss of innocence that everyone is feeling right now. My heart is truly broken.

Over the past 15 years, since the first egregious act of violence that has defined my years of youth ministry (the Columbine high school massacre), the culture of violence has left us wondering what has gone wrong with our students. Why do 16-year-old boys plot the demise of their entire school? Why do 14-year-old girls bully a fellow cheerleader until violence erupts and families are destroyed by murder? Why do 17-year-old boys go on murder sprees? Why do 12-year-old girls plot the death of a friend?

I’ve worked with students for over 20 years now and I’ve tried to stay pretty current with youth culture. I’ve spent a lot of time staying in tune with the cultural norms of our youth and paid attention to trends and cultural shifts; I’ve seen waves of change happen during that time. No, I don’t think that there was some magical golden era of teenagers where everything was better, where teens were magically more obedient, kinder with their words and more loving of their siblings.

Yes, I do believe that in the past, there were social norms around interactions, respect and family dynamics that were different, but that doesn’t mean the heart of the child was any different. Just because someone says, “Yes ‘ma’am” or “Yes sir” when you give instructions, doesn’t mean the heart of the person shows the same respect. Haven’t we all been guilty of playing nice on the outside, while standing up in rebellion on the inside?

Tweet: That is inherently the biggest problem: Outward obedience does not equal inward change.

If you have ever followed some of the stories around high school shootings, cyber bullying, gang violence or any of the heart-breaking, gut-wrenching ways in which students act out in vicious attacks on others, you’ve seen some similar patterns. Once in a while you will find the kid who committed the crime was the kid that everyone suspected; the child that somehow showed psychotic behavior for many years.

That is not, however, the norm. Over and over in the papers, in the online blogs and forums, you find this statement: “They seemed so normal...” The story involving these two young girls was replete with testimonies of how these two perpetrators seemed so nice, so regular. I’m sure in weeks to come, as the investigation grows, some things will emerge that reveal a darker side, but like so many of these tragic events, there is a outward normalcy to the murderers.

Sure, some may be the loner types, introverts to the extreme, but many are not. Many are outgoing and friendly, good students who get good grades, and even show some leadership aptitude. And that’s what scares us as parents; that’s what makes these stories hit so close to home. It could have been our kids that were the victims. Right now, our own children could have friends that look so good on the outside, but are full of evil intentions on the inside.

For years, now, I’ve urged parents to remember this one truth: having “good kids” isn’t the goal of parenting. If we believe that raising good boys and girls, who do well in school, are respectful of others and generally don’t get into too much trouble and are positive contributors in society, that we have succeeded as parents, we’ve missed the mark! Great parenting involves helping our children be changed from the inside-out, so that their good behavior is a reflection of a changed heart; not just compliance to social norms, parenting pressure or as a response to a generally good disposition.

Deuteronomy 6:1-9 shows us the pathway to this change when Moses tells parents: “...These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up...” (6:6-7). You see? God’s Word is to be the chief influencer on our hearts, so that the good behavior that follows submission to God and His Word is rooted in heart-change!

I slept horribly last night, thinking about the families of this incident in Wisconsin. I prayed for the young lady’s recovery, I prayed for the family’s future and I prayed for the friends and students at the girls’ school, as they all learn to process the events that just transpired. But most of all, I prayed that the need for radical heart-change would be experienced by many. I prayed that we as a culture wouldn’t just push for social reform, weapon-control or sensitivity training. I prayed the impossible dream: That somehow we would turn back to the source of heart-change and find true healing for today, and true hope for the future, in the power of God’s Word.

I am as passionate about helping students today as I was when I first began working with them 20 years ago (that’s been over half of my life!). One of the reasons I love working with teens is that they are willing to embrace something new, they’re open to radical changes and their hearts can be set aflame for God and His Word. I see it here at the camp every week of the summer as hundreds of campers in 4th-12th grade make life-changing decisions that set a different course for their lives.

Today, I am praying that the next tragic child headliner is going to be changed because a heart will be altered. I am praying that someone living the Overboard Life will show love to a child who has never experienced unconditional care, and a heart bent on evil will be eternally changed by the grace and glory of the Gospel. I am praying that we will -- not go back to some other era of perceived civility -- move forward into an era of radical life change brought on by a relationship with Jesus Christ.

I’m taking the plunge today, because the world will be better when we boldly live Overboard. Will you join me?

I'm half-way dead...what now?

It has finally happened...I’m turning 40. I remember when I used to think 40 was old, now it definitely seems less old than I used to think. I remember when my oldest brother turned 40, nine years ago, and I was thinking, “Wow...my brother’s getting old!” Sorry about that Dan, I no longer think 40 is old. Of course, you’re approaching 50 and that is...

Time has a funny way of putting everything into perspective. According to statistics, today I’m officially half-way dead. The life expectancy of American males is just a smudge over 80 (depending on who you ask) and at 40, I have used up half of my shelf life. There are twinkles being made today that will still be here, and still be a tasty treat, long after I’m gone.

Over the past 40 days I’ve written about where my life has come from, the lessons I’ve learned over the past 4 decades, and ultimately, I’ve revealed what I believe God wants for my life in the future: an Overboard Life that is lived by faith, out of the comfort of the boat, and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom.

Tonight I’ve been reading over 50 different birthday cards that were sneakily sent to my wife the past month. I’ve been torn between hilarious and sentimental all evening, but have been blown away by the kind words and gracious comments by so many dear friends. One card in particular was on the sentimental side but hits the nail on the head for what I’m feeling about 40. It’s from our friend Gail in Olympia, WA:

“You’ve got your bearings, and you’re right where you should be --

at 40 and at your best, right smack between

experience and possibility and perfectly

positioned for a great new decade...”

I definitely feel like I’m in the sweet spot of life. I am confident that the best days of life are ahead and not behind, and that the story God is going to write over the second half of my life will be worth sticking around for! I can’t wait to embrace the race that is set for me, the highs and lows, the obstacles and the downhills, and through it all my prayer will remain the same: God, please use me to do your work, with your help, for your glory.

Friends, I hope you’ll join me in living the Overboard Life. I know that I can’t live this life without the help of great friends who love the Lord and want to live Overboard, too. I’m confident in the next few days, weeks and months I’ll need some encouragement to hold the course. And I give you permission to call me on it -- if you see me living lazy in the comfort of the boat, call me out! Remind me that I want my life to count, and little counts when you’re living in the boat!

Thanks for following this 40-day blog, and for joining me on this Overboard journey. On Monday I have a couple of really special announcements and an opportunity for you to join me in helping to create an Overboard movement. I can’t wait to share some details with you and to see where this will take us all!

Here’s to “Life: Part 2” and to all that God has for each us as live outside the boat for Him.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

I'm glad I'm narrow minded.

Have you ever been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Even as a youth pastor, people would ask me what my plans were when I finally got a real job. Pushaw. As if playing dodgeball with students while eating pizza and chugging Mt. Dew isn’t a real job! Puhleeease.  

I remember being asked that question as a child. The answer would change frequently. At first I wanted to be in the military, that seemed so courageous to me and today I still have such esteem for those that serve our nation in the armed forces. (Thank you for your service!) After that I moved to less heroic and more glamorous pursuits usually involving pro sports. For a while it was football and then it was definitely basketball. I was pretty sure an L.A. Laker’s talent scout would see me shooting hoops on my home playground, his jaw would hit the black top when he saw me drain a dozen threes in a row and he’d offer me a contract on the spot.

For a while I had a pretty well-documented movie career. Let’s just say that the Ram Joe movie collection represents some of the most compelling movies ever made (at least in my house). They had drama, action, romance, and lots of awesome (terrible) special effects and creative (red neck) editing techniques. Truly these masterpieces should have launched my acting career but alas, they never made it into the right hands.

As a child, my focus was all over the place. What seemed so good one day, was discarded for the next great thing the next day. If I saw something really cool on TV or a friend was totally into something, I suddenly found my vision being redirected.

With my 40th just a few days away, what I’m dubiously calling the “half-way point of my life,” I’m realizing how much more I want my vision to become narrow. I truly want to be more and more narrow minded as I enter phase two of my life.

Ok, not narrow-minded like it’s often defined in our culture (although sometimes I’d be happy for that label, too!). I’m talking about spending my energy and focus on fewer and fewer tasks; expanding the time and attention I give a few goals and dreams.

Over the past few weeks as I’ve been writing these 40 essays over a period of 40 days, I’ve had to be hyper focused on my daily writing goals. Each morning my iPhone alarm has called me out of sweet slumber at 5:55 so that I have time to meet with God through prayer and Bible reading, wake the older kids for school, and begin, or finish up, a blog post. Each evening I go to bed putting my daily thoughts on paper (literally, writing them in a journal) and lining up my next day’s writing projects.

During this time I’ve also been working on several other Overboard projects. Not only am I writing each day, but I’ve been working with editors, artists, web designers, authors and other people with skills related to these ongoing tasks. Much of my free time has been spent expanding the potential for Overboard Ministries to challenge people in how they are living in response to God.

What haven’t I done much of? I haven’t spent a lot time on social media stalking (a habit that’s easy for me to fall into). I have spent less than ten minutes, over the past 40 days, playing iPhone/iPad games. I haven’t wasted much time scanning news channels for the latest political scandals and opinions, and I have all but removed myself from major sports events like the NFL draft, the NHL playoffs and the NBA finals (three activities that I normally follow with some interest). My narrow mindedness has forced me to make some choices.

And you know what? I’m good with that; because my focus has been more refined, my time has been better spent. Traci and I are as connected as we’ve ever been, even as we navigate some tough times for our family. I’ve been able to engage my children more deliberately, pour myself effectively into projects at work (my “real” job!) and experience the lessons I need to learn while figuring out how to run my first half marathon. I’m enjoying picking up a new hobby, reading some challenging books and finding fun, creative and inexpensive ways to build awesome memories in our NW Michigan home. Narrow vision has been very good for me.

I notice that Paul got very narrow in his vision as he aged. In Philippians he wrote, “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...” Paul’s vision became super narrow -- he was willing to discard everything that distracted his vision from living a Christ-centered life.

In the same way, the writer of Hebrews issues us the same admonition in regards to being narrow minded. My theme verses for 2014 are located in Hebrews 12:1-2: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us...” Ditching sin is not optional for those trying to please God, but the writer of Hebrews takes it a step further when he writes about “anything that hinders.”

When we remove the things that hinder our vision, when we become more focused, we can then more easily accomplish the second part of that passage, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...” In other words, when we remove sin and hinderances from our lives, we become more narrow minded!

I’m looking at “Life, part 2” and wondering what it will take to make it the best it can be. I don’t want to be at the end wishing I had been less distracted and I don’t want to realize that I invested a lot of time caring about things that didn’t really matter. This life is the only one we have to give as an act of worship to our Savior, and I for one, want to make it count.

And you know what’s most interesting? The more narrow my vision becomes, the more time I spend enjoying the people and things of life that I love most. My narrow focus has increased my family time, my writing time, my exercising time, my wife time, my church time and even my work time. I imagine that if I continue to refine my focus, those things will become even bigger parts of my daily routine.

How’s your vision today? How narrow minded are you? Let’s clear out some of the distractions so that our lives can be spent on the people and activities that matter most. A focused life on the water, is truly a great life!

38 down, 2 to go!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

The death of a dream

We moved to Michigan in March of 2013. During the past 14 months, we have enjoyed getting to know our new home, learning about the area and beginning the process of understanding the people and cultural dynamics that affect my job here at the camp. This is a great state with four distinct seasons, nice people and some beautiful scenery.  

It’s also a state that has been hammered by the economic downturn of the past few years. The auto industry was the backbone of this state’s economy for so long, and today it is barely a shadow of what it once was. A million people have left Detroit, The Motor City, and houses, buildings, schools and businesses have been abandoned to be vandalized and ultimately destroyed. Detroit is the largest city to ever file for bankruptcy.

Detroit might be the biggest city hit, but it’s not the only. Almost every town in Michigan has houses and business that have been abandoned during these past ten years. At one point, Michigan was one of just a few states with a negative growth rate: more people were leaving MI than moving here.

As part of my new job, I’ve had the privilege of traveling all over this great state, and everywhere I’ve gone I have seen the effect of Michigan’s struggle. Just this last week we drove through a town and saw “Two Brother’s Bakery” all painted up on the outside, totally shutdown on the inside. A sign in the windows says, “Closed for the season, see you in 2011.” We passed a run down hotel, an abandoned gas station, we even drove through a neighborhood where 10 of 12 businesses had moved out of a strip mall, and it looked more like the set of a zombie apocalypse movie than a place people would go to buy party supplies, get a hair cut, grab a bit to eat or meet friends for coffee.

Traci and I were talking about some of these buildings and wondering about the previous owners, wondering out loud what had happened there. Most businesses are started with a fundamental dream to do something awesome. I don’t know many business owners who start a business and hope it fails. Often, big loans are acquired to get things started, savings accounts are depleted in hopes of soon overflowing with new income, and countless hours are spent by friends and family members painting walls, hanging signs, comparing other stores online and spreading the word about a new business.

And then one day it all died. The neighborhood changed as people moved away. The income of his customers dried up. The bank said “no” to her next loan request and all of the sudden, the dream seemed hopeless. Traci and I speculated about whether or not some of these businesses reopened later in another location. We wondered whether or not the owner started a totally different type of business, or if she just packed up and found a job wherever she could, or maybe he just left it all behind and started a new life in another state or country; the empty buildings a remnant of a past life.

Whatever happened, the desolation and emptiness that’s left behind is a little haunting. Whether things changed because of bad business acumen or because of social/cultural/economic issues, the reality is that these dreams are done. Our friend Michael suffered such loss when his fruit stand and neighborhood market went under. The final day he was open, as he sold off everything but the doors and windows, Traci and I visited with him. He was devastated. He owed a lot of money to the bank and to some family members, and now he was returning to an hourly job in construction. His spirit was crushed. His family had suffered because of the business and his dreams for financial freedom seemed destroyed as he turned over the “Closed” sign for the last time.

Those abandoned buildings and financial woes are the reason some of us never dream. We like the comfort and stability that comes with not dreaming. There’s not as much risk when you don’t dream, there are fewer unknowns and generally speaking, the outcome is far more predictable when you work inside the box. And if you live this way long enough, you can practically kill off any internal motivation to dream in the future. Soon, you don’t even want to think about something as dangerous as a dream.

Yet that seems so contrary to how God made us. It seems each of us a capacity, indeed a built-in desire, to pursue something bigger than what we can see. Sure, you can dull that desire and practically destroy it by constantly ignoring it, but it never totally goes away. I’ve visited with prisoners who have 20 years left to go on their sentence, and they are talking about their future outside of jail. I’ve met cancer patients facing a terminal prognosis who are dreaming about life after they kick cancer to the curb. I’ve met homeless men and women who have larger-than-life goals when their financial situations turn around. Traci and I have met some stay-at-home moms who want to manage their homes with excellence while jump-starting their own businesses on the side.

In fact, the truth is, as a pastor, friend, coach and writer, I have never talked to anyone who didn’t have some hopes and dreams for something different. Sometimes those dreams were hidden deep in the recesses of some small corner in the back of their brain, but with the right questions, enough prodding and sometimes threats to keep them locked in my office until they shared their dreams, something emerged. Dreams for a vacation with the wife. Dreams for a better a life for their children. Dreams for financial security. Dreams to reach their neighbors for Jesus.

I believe the Overboard Life is dream-driven. The whole notion of getting out of the boat is based on the belief that you can walk on water -- you can do something that seems almost impossible to you now! Dreams are risky, they are hard to attain (or you would already have them!), they change, they move, they morph, they grow and just when you think you can lunge and grab them, they shift upward just out of your grasp. And so many people stay in the comfort of the boat because of those factors.

But not you and me. Not anyone who wants to live the Overboard Life. Like Paul, we “press on toward the prize” of a life lived for God. With the writer of Hebrews, [we] throw off everything that hinders" in this world so that we can be something different, focused on Jesus, running toward a bigger-than-life goal. Maybe it’s like my friend Tim who sets up each week in downtown Salem with a desk, a white board and a question. He uses a question written out on a white board to talk to total strangers about Jesus, and shares his heart with them. Maybe it’s like our friends Andy and Jodie who traveled to Tanzania to be a part of helping a people group know the story of a God who loves them so much, that He sent His only Son to die for their sins. Or it could be like my friend Jay, who runs several successful businesses and uses each of his ventures as a means to show God through beauty, creativity and other powerful expressions of his faith. Or it could be like our friend Nora who uses her teaching job as a way to show the mercy and grace of God to children and families in need.

What about you, what God-sized dreams do you have? Do you want to start a business? Write a book? Start a publishing company? Parent better? Have an off-the-charts marriage? Improve your health? Get to know your neighbors? Learn a new skill? Become a public speaker? [enter your dream here]?

By God’s grace, I want to live a dream-driven life, with my faith placed squarely on the One who put those dreams in my heart. This isn’t a “I can do anything I want” motivational blog, this is a “I can do all things through Him, who gives me strength” kind of a speech. This is a “God gives you everything you need to do everything He wants you to do” kind of a speech. And when you put your faith in Him, grab the sides of the boat and jump, all of your dreams are within reach. The Dream Giver, is the One who makes them a reality, too.

I hope you’re chasing your God-sized dream today. I don’t need you to chase mine, and I don’t want to chase yours (but I want to help you reach them! Let me know what I can do!). God made you specifically for dreams He placed in your heart, and it’s time for you to “throw off everything that hinders” and “fix your eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 12:1-2) as you go after them!

Go ahead and take the plunge, your dreams are always better on the water!

You may call me reverend

Quite a few years ago, I endured one of the most challenging days of my pastoral career. Sure, I’ve done some funerals that were challenging. Yes, I have had some teenagers in youth group that I wanted to throttle (all in Christian love, of course). And without a doubt, there has been a parent or two along the way that left me beating my own head against a 2x4 so I didn’t use it on them. But nothing compares to the day I faced my ordination council. [insert dramatic music]  

To legally become a pastor, one simply needs to be recognized by a religious group, and given a license to “marry-and-bury.” You don’t have to go to school, you don’t even have to know a thing about the Bible, you just have to find a religious organization that will give you the title. Thankfully, most solid religious groups don’t throw that title around too loosely, and usually they have developed guidelines that honor the office and come with built-in protection for the church and the pastor.

Becoming a Reverend, however, is a slightly more involved process. Again, some organizations issue that title without much else than a candidate showing a few hundred bulletins with their name on it (implying that you worked at a church for several years), but the vast majority of institutions, organizations and churches that issue that title do so with high regard.

Some men I know had to complete three years of master’s level schooling before they could receive the title. Others I know studied the Bible for a few months, then took a written test and a short oral examination before the title Reverend was given to them. My process was somewhere in-between.

Following the prompting of my Sr. Pastor in Salem, I had five years to work toward my ordination. Naturally I waited until the final year to begin the process, because I knew how much work it would be. Every week for a year, I met with one of our elders, Richard Muntz, and we slowly tackled the major doctrinal themes of the Bible. The process went something like this:

1. I would write a paper on a particular doctrinal topic
2. Richard would read it and and help me dissect it
3. I would re-write the paper and Richard would help me make more changes
4. After Richard approved, I would present my paper to other church leaders, who would also weigh-in

I did this for over a year so that I would be better prepared for my ordination council. The ordination council consists of any number of pastors and missionaries who are already ordained, who enjoy watching others sweat as much as they did when they faced their ordination council. In my case, about 25-30 pastors and leaders showed up to be my firing squad.

We started at 9am, and finished up sometime around 4pm, including a 1-hour lunch break. I stood at the front of the room and these men sat comfortably, smiling maniacally, salivating at the chance to devour another pour soul [insert scary music]. So for six hours, these men pelted me with questions about theology. They hounded me about my knowledge of the Bible. The drilled me about pastoral ministry and practice.

When the questions were finished, I was excused from the room while these men openly discussed what they had seen and heard. I was gone for about thirty minutes, really beginning to sweat, when I was asked to come back into the room. They then gave a summary of their discussions, offered any recommendations they may have had and then told me their conclusion as to whether or not they believe I should be be ordained, or whether I should continue my studies and try again later.

That moment between when they said they were going tell me and when they actually told me felt like an hour. It was only a moment and the council unanimously voted to recommend me for ordination. That’s right...y’all should be calling me reverend!

Since my own ordination, I’ve had the privilege of sitting on the ordination council of others and I smile with sympathy. I work hard to ask questions that are aimed at helping the candidate out, not trapping him with some clever theological “wisdom” I have. It’s a tough process and it is a very tough day.

But even thinking back to my own ordination, I can tell you it was richly rewarding. The council forced me to evaluate some of my understanding of God’s Word. The council required me to know, not just what I believe, but why I believe it. The guys at my ordination gathering weren’t content with me answering “Jesus” to all the questions (because that’s always the right answer in almost every Sunday School class!), they wanted to know if the truths of God’s Word had really settled in my heart; did I believe what I knew to be true, and was it making a difference in my life?

In that sense, maybe all of us need an ordination council experience. All of us need that moment of truth, when we have to know what we know, and believe what we know, as the pressure is put on. I’m afraid that too many people trying to live the Overboard Life want to do it without the biblical truth to make that life a reality. They like the idea of living out of the boat, but really have no idea what it will require or what kind of intense testing will come on them, while they are out of the boat. Being grounded in the knowledge and belief of God’s Word is central to our spiritual growth and success! You cannot please God, you cannot step out and live in faith, if you do not know what God has already said about life and faith in His Word.

Hebrews 4:12 reminds us that God’s Word is alive and active. It has the capacity to reach into our hearts and expose our true motives and true values. Psalm 119:9-11 reminds us that God’s Word is a powerful tool in our fight to stay morally pure. 2 Timothy 3:16 teaches us that the Word of God is useful for every aspect of our lives; God’s Word speaks to issues we are working through today! Romans 10:14-15 reminds us that the power of the Gospel is presented in the Word of God by those sent to preach it. On and on I could go, but the reality is simple: You cannot live the Overboard Life without a healthy dose of God’s Word in your daily routine.

I don’t always eat as much as I should at God’s table. There are days that go by and my Bible (or Bible app) remains largely unopened and unused. Those are generally not my best days. But the days that I drink deeply of the Word, and the days I try to better understand the Bible, those are the days I’m most eager to stay out of the boat, and to stay on the water where Jesus is working.

Are you getting your fill of God’s Word? Are you ready for your ordination council? You may not have a formal council like I did, but you will be tested -- all of us will! And the question is whether or not you will believe what you know about God and His Word. Are you prepared for your next test? Spend time each day in God’s Word, and though the testing may be hard, you’ll be better prepared for the questions that come your way.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Cj's birth, and preparation for her death.

December is a very busy, and somewhat expensive, month for our family. Traci and I were married on December 28th. I have two nieces and a nephew who have December birthdays. My Mother-in-law has a December birthday. BJ was born on December 6th and then, in 2005, Celina (CJ) was born on December 20th. And, of course, the celebration of Jesus’ birth occurs every year on December 25th.  

CJ was our surprise baby. Traci and I had been talking about maybe adding a third little monster to the mix, so the day Traci realized she was pregnant we were excited to round out our family to three children. At about 8 weeks pregnant we expected our final Alphabet (Aj, Bj, Cj) to be born mid-January, and the doctor set January 19th as the official delivery date.

When December of 2005 rolled around, we started in on the family celebrations. First BJ’s birthday, then my Mother-in-law’s birthday and then we head to my first nieces birthday (my nephew hadn’t been born yet) . That’s when life got a little crazy. We went to bed on December 19th and Traci got up in the middle of the night having some pretty strong contractions. She tried moving around, tried getting more comfortable upright in the living room, but nothing seemed to work, and the contractions were getting stronger.

She finally woke me up around 7am and said, “I’m pretty sure this baby is coming today.” Since Traci had already experienced two other births, I didn’t question her mom-sense, but I did have a moment of brief panic. We hadn’t packed the hospital bag yet. We had just asked someone to be “on call” in case she came in the night and we needed someone to watch AJ & BJ, but that was it. So I made the call to Michelle and asked her to boogie over to the house while I scramble to get a bag packed. In about 30 minutes we were off to the hospital (a 7-minute drive from our house) and shortly after we were in the new birthing wing preparing for another long day of labor.

CJ was 30 days early, but she wasn’t particularly eager to emerge. She like the concept of being born, she just didn’t like the process! Traci spent 12 hours in pretty hard labor and finally experienced the joy of holding a new born child a few minutes after 7pm on December 20th. At 6.5 lbs she hardly seemed to fit the “premie” term the staff used to describe her. She was a beautiful baby.

The problem with making an early appearance, is that not everything is full developed inside the baby. For CJ, this meant that her lungs had not fully grown. We were released from the hospital on a normal schedule (2 days after birth) but then had to return a couple of days after Christmas because of Jaundice and some breathing concerns. Again we headed home.

A couple of weeks into January, I was doing some counseling at church, when my cell phone rang. It was Traci. Over the years I have committed to answer the phone when she calls, but on the rare occasion I can’t step out of a meeting or I’m in a significant conversation, I let ring. For Traci, if it’s an emergency or she really needs to chat with me quick, she calls right back and that double ring is my signal that she needs a quick call.

The phone rang a second time and I excused myself from my counseling session. Traci had taken CJ in for a visit and the doctor had listened to her breathing carefully. Because of her underdeveloped lungs, he had been paying extra close attention to how she was breathing. During the visit, he rolled his chair over to Traci, and with great calmness yet urgency, he said, “Traci, I need you to take Celina to the hospital immediately. I want you to go to ER and I’ll call ahead and make sure they are ready. This is serious, but we’ve caught it and everything should be ok.” Traci was calling me on her way to the hospital.

I excused myself from my counseling session and then headed downtown to meet her and CJ. My mind was racing and I knew that this situation was serious. When I found them, several tests had already been performed and CJ was being placed in an oxygen bed and having several IV’s put in. She would be spending the next couple of days in the NICU.

That night, as doctors were trying to resolve her breathing issues, I spent the night with Celina. One of the doctors had “that look” that told me this thing was pretty serious and the concern on his face gave me ample reason to be worried. I remember picking up CJ for a brief break from the oxygen bed, holding her in my arms while we walked around the room. And I had that thought of despair: “What if God takes her from us?”

That question hit me like a ton of bricks, turned my stomach inside out and brought some tears to my eyes. What if God wanted to take CJ home? What if we were only given the privilege of knowing her a month? What if God wanted to walk us thru this dark passage of life in order to show Himself faithful to us, even in the deepest moments of grief? What if?

That moment in the hospital was a moment of decision for me. As I talked to my sweet baby girl and placed her back in her bed, I told the Lord I would trust Him, even if His plans included taking CJ away from us. I told Him I’d be devastated and angry, but I committed, that I would trust Him. I didn’t try to bribe God that night (which I certainly have tried before), and I didn’t hinge my trust on whether or not he would save her life (if you save her, I will trust you) but instead, clinging to the truth of Scripture that my path has been ordered by God, I chose to trust Him.

I slept better than average that night in the hospital and the next night Traci stayed with CJ. Two nights later, we took her home and our little Celina is now 8-years-old and healthy. She is a joy to our family.

Have you ever had those moments where you had to make a decision about trusting God? I wish you could make that decisions once and it would be just be done for life, but the reality is that life will present many opportunities for that faith to be trusted, and more than once I’ve had to recommit my faith to God. And that’s not because He has changed, but because I waiver.

Is Psalm 37:5 David writes about trusting God. Look at verses 5 and 6 from The Message:

Open up before God, keep nothing back; He’ll do whatever needs to be done: He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon.

I love that phrase, “Keep nothing back.” Several other translations say, “Trust in Him” and that’s exactly what faith is: Trusting in God with everything, holding nothing back...not even your newborn baby. And we can trust Him because He will do what needs to be done. God will always choose the best path for us! It may not be easiest path, the shortest path, the flattest path or the brightest path, but He will always choose the best path for you and me.

What are you facing today? Do you need to renew your commitment to trust the Lord with your path? Are you overwhelmed? Are you in despair? Are you experiencing grief? Has worry become a close companion? Are you hurt, angry or just plain exhausted with life? Let me urge you to take David’s advice:

* Open up before God, and tell Him what’s on your heart

* Then hold nothing back and put your trust in His work

God will do what needs to be done, and He will ultimately do what’s right and best for you. Will you trust Him today?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

The beginning of our alphabet: AJ is born

I don’t care what the experts say -- nothing actually prepares you for birth and parenting. We attended the breathing classes, we watched other peoples’ kids, we read books and talked to other parents, but none of it prepares you for the reality of the delivery room and life after your precious little diaper pooper is brought home. Next to getting married and learning to share the blankets with another human being, kids are the biggest game-changers in life.  

I have a lot of memories of AJ’s birth. I remember the night before he was born, Traci and I had been up late with some friends, so as we went to bed around 11:30pm/midnight, I rolled over and said to her belly, “Ok little guy, we need a good night’s sleep, so no middle-of-the-night surprises, ok?” AJ has always been such an obedient child, so that’s why at 1:30am Traci wakes me up with, “My water just broke.”

After I realized that her water breaking meant the big show was starting (I was a little groggy for the first few moments of her announcement), operation child birth went into full swing. I woke up my Mother-In-Law who was ready to meet her fourth grand child, I called my parents and then threw the pre-packed suitcase and camera gear into the car. At 1:45am we left the house and at 1:55am we were checking in to the hospital as contractions were starting to get stronger.

The rest of the night was a blur as  Traci’s contractions grew in intensity, and I watched them fly off the little monitor that ranges from “This is really hurting” on the low end, to “good thing you’re getting a baby out of this” on the high end. Her contractions were, literally, off the charts. By 8am I was sure little AJ was about to make an appearance (based on my extensive medical knowledge about child birth), but the doctor dropped some bad news on us. Traci was having what he called “couplet” contractions. That meant that two contractions were occurring one right after the other. The first was pushing the baby out, but the second one, happening seconds after the first, was actually pushing the baby back up. That meant at 8:30am, Traci’s 7 hours of labor had accomplished little in getting AJ out of her womb.

I remember the look of discouragement on my wife’s face. She was in such pain and discomfort as, for the time being, the contractions were not accomplishing what they were supposed to. She pressed on for two more hours before finally requesting an epideral to help with pain. I still remember the moment the doctor injected the meds through her spine. Traci was grimacing as another contraction spiked off the chart, and seconds later she was lying down, talking to me, like nothing was happening. I was watching the contractions on the monitor and trying to comfort my wife when she fell asleep. 9 hours of hard labor was exhausting, and it didn’t help that she had only slept 90 minutes the night before.

The day dragged on and AJ insisted on taking his sweet little time. It wasn’t until about 4pm that the doctor informed me that we were getting close. At 4:32pm on June 19th, 2001, little AJ made his grand entrance into the world. He was not particularly fond of life outside the comfortable womb, but after the doctor cleaned him up, got him breathing, wrapped him up like a 6.5lb Mexican burrito and then placed him on Traci’s chest, AJ quieted down and we both began to cry; we had a baby boy!

After about 15-20 minutes of Traci and I enjoying our new child, I went out to the waiting room and announced to our family that a baby boy named AJ (Aaron Joseph) was safe and sound with his mom. Soon after, the moms came in and celebrated with tears of joy, and later the dads proudly held their new grandson (#4 for my father-in-law and #7 for my dad). It was a very special day, and we had no idea how much that one day would change our lives.

Today, almost 13 years after AJ was born, I can hardly remember what life without kids was like. Traci and I loved the four years we spent in Seattle, serving the Lord without children of our own, but now it seems like we’ve always had kids. It’s hard to imagine that a day will come when our children aren’t living in the house with us and that they, too, may give us the joy of grandchildren (although CJ has made it clear that she will remain in our house indefinitely).

Children are indeed a wonderful gift from God, and in part, I think God gives them to us as a picture of His love for us. A few days after taking AJ home from the hospital, Traci was resting on the bed and I was holding our new baby boy as I sat on the couch. He was bright-eyed, and looking right at me, and I was marveling that God actually trusted me with providing life-giving care to another human being. AJ was so fragile, his total well-being depended on Traci and I, and there was nothing he could do to provide anything for himself. He could cry his little eyes out (and on many occasions he did!), but apart from us intervening, he would cry in vain.

Isn’t that how it is with us? We are helpless without God. Oh, we like to think we are strong by ourselves, we like to think we can achieve greatness on our own, we like to think it’s all up to us, but at the end of the day, we would be at a loss were it not for God’s life-giving care. You may not always (ever?) acknowledge Him, but that doesn’t negate His presence in your life.

God loves you with an everlasting love. It’s no surprise then, that when you and I enter into a relationship with Him through faith in Jesus’ sacrifice for us, we become adopted sons and daughters! Not guests or renters. Not cousins or step-relatives. Not slaves or employees. We become adopted sons and daughters, children of the King, and heirs with Jesus, God’s first Son.

As I held AJ that day on the couch, I had an amazingly new understanding of God’s love for me. I couldn’t believe how much I cared for and loved this little boy that I had only known for four days! How much more does God love you and me after knowing us before we were even known -- before the world was even created (Ephesians 1:4)? In that moment, I knew I would do anything to protect and care for my son, and I knew God had already done everything to provide for me at my deepest need; not just a relationship with Him that protects me from hell, but a relationship with Him that sustains me each and ever day, through joys and sorrows, victory and pain, in my good days and especially in my bad ones.

I want to be dependent on God each day, just like AJ was (is!) dependent on me and Traci to provide for his needs. And an interesting truth emerges as I grow in my walk with God -- the more I know Him, the more I strive to love and serve Him, the more I realize how much I need Him. My dependence actually grows with age. And that’s a good thing.

Are you trusting God with your day, today? Are you laying out your needs and wants before Him? Are you trusting Him with your goals and dreams? As you move forward in your life, I hope you’ll find that you are trusting Him more, not less. I hope you’ll realize that the Overboard Life can only be lived with God’s help. May you and I grow stronger by leaning further into His love and grace.

29 down, 11 to go.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Dating Traci

I first met Traci when I was in 8th grade, and we started “dating” when I was in 9th (she was in 10th...you know, that older woman thing!). We dated for just a little over eight years before we got married. In fact, our 8th wedding anniversary was a big event for us because we had officially been married for as long as we had dated.  

When I look back at our dating years, there is a funny growing and maturing process that took place (any of you guys about to make some wise crack about me and maturity can go ahead and make that now). What we thought “love” was in 9th grade, was vastly different than what we knew about love while we were both in college. Of course, getting married, working through challenges, having kids etc... expands your love in even more amazing ways!

Good relationships are interesting that way; they don’t stay the same year after year, but instead, grow and change with the people involved in them. People who “fall in love” with a person and then “fall out of love” with them because of how much that person changed, sometimes miss the point of what it takes to have an amazing relationship -- learning to grow together through change.

Traci has kept a big bag of love letters that I wrote to her through our high school and college years. Some of these are just a tad bit embarrassing and reveal an incredible amount of sappiness (and not the good kind, either), and others reveal why I shouldn’t ever dabble in the genres of creative writing and poetry. When I read some of the notes I gave her while we passed each other in the halls at school, I see an immature young boy trying to impress his girlfriend by committing a love to her, that he doesn’t possibly understand. I had no idea what the phrases “I’ll love you forever” and “nothing will ever come between us” really meant; I was just trying to express what I understood and felt about love at the time.

In college our letters took on a new depth, especially as we dated long distance while attending different schools throughout our college years. We had a few little breakups during that season of life, and both of us had opportunities to engage other relationships around us, but really our resolve to stay together didn’t change much. What did change, however, was the way both of us were growing up. We were being shaped by our experiences, by struggles with friends and family, by new information, by jobs, by the experiences of others and through what each of us were learning in our personal relationship with God.

As Traci was maturing and changing, our relationship was changing; as I finally started growing up emotionally and maturing in my outlook in life, our relationship changed. And that’s really how great relationships become great -- they become stronger through change. Instead of trying to hold on to what love looked like in high school (gag) Traci and I have embraced the changes that have occurred in us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and have committed to a deeper, loving relationship than we had before the changes.

And that’s probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned from when Traci and I started dating some 25 years ago! Commitment to a relationship (marriage, friendship, work, children etc...) isn’t a commitment to stay the same forever, or a promise to never complain, always be positive or never have any grumpy days. Commitment in a relationship is a promise to keep growing, to keep helping others grow and to work hard to hold the course through the changes that will come.

Change, is what is supposed to be happening in all of us as we walk through this life. In Ephesians 4:15, Paul writes, “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ...” Growing up is a good thing! But growing up also means change. Growing up means letting go of childish ways and thinking, and embracing new thoughts and a new understanding about life. As we draw closer to God we shed our old concepts of commitment, love and relationship, and embrace people around us the way God embraces us. I know Traci loves me more today, not because I’m amazingly more lovable, but because she has grown in her walk with God and understands love better today than she did 25 years ago when we went on our first date.

Are you changing or are you working hard to try and keep everything the same? I know people who live their lives trying to avoid change, trying to control everything so that life remains relatively the same for them. I, for one (and Traci for two!), am glad that I have grown up from my high school dating years. I’m thankful that I have a better understanding of love and commitment, and that my devotion to God, Traci and family is marked by a new maturity and a deeper wisdom that can only come through change. I don’t want to be the same guy tomorrow that I was today, and while I don’t always like the circumstances or events that cause change, I like the end-product as I grow up into Him -- the One who gives me life.

Go ahead and take the plunge, change is always better on the water!

I saw someone break the sound barrier...sort of.

I was in junior high the first time I saw another human being try to travel faster than the speed of sound. We were at a camp in the foothills of the Cascades, enjoying a weekend youth group retreat. About a dozen of us piled on to the merry-go-round and several of our ADULT leaders started the “Extreme Merry-Go-Round of Death” (as they affectionately called it). I point out that they were “ADULT” leaders...supposed to be mature, wise and guardians of our well-being. Did I mention this whole thing happened with ADULT leaders supervising?  

Anyway, the ride started spinning faster and faster, and I remember being toward the outside, holding on for all I was worth. The merry-go-round started to wobble and a steady hum was heard. Exhilaration was replaced with terror and I seriously feared for my life. Then it happened -- one of my peers lost his grip on the ride of death and he went airborne. A sonic boom was heard as he travelled through the air toward the lake. The lake was a 1/2 mile away and a 1/2 mile wide. He skipped three times as he crossed it from one side to the other. Amazingly he was relatively unharmed.

A few years later I was in the downtown district of a southern California city in the middle of the night. We were in a 15-passenger van packed to the gills with loud students and a very lost driver. As we pulled up to a stop sign at 2am, our other van pulled up beside us with the driver rolling down her window. I was in the passenger seat, so I rolled my window down to hear what she was saying to our driver:

“You’re an idiot! Don’t you know you’ve been going the wrong way on a one-way street for 1/2 a mile?!? Pay attention!!!”

My eyes were the size of saucers when I realized that being lost was the least of our troubles. So what did our driver do? He promptly turned on the next street. Again, going the wrong way on a one-way street. Somehow we still made it to Mexico and had an amazing missions trip; proof that there is a God!

During my junior year of high school, our youth group went to Wisconsin for a service trip to help mentally handicapped people in a very special ministry. On one of the afternoons, we had to take the residents to a nearby zoo and I was charged with putting sunscreen on three of them. Only one problem: I had never used sunscreen in my life. As a hispanic, my skin tans up real nice, and I’ve never burned. So I had never needed sunscreen and had never used it.

I watched a few of my peers apply the gooey substance to others and I thought, “How hard can it be?” Like a boss, I applied sunscreen to three young lads and off to the zoo we went. Everything was great that day, and even though we had a really hot day and found ourselves in the sun all afternoon, I knew my boys were doing just fine.

You can imagine my shock when we showed up the next day for service and three residents had arms that looked like sunburned zebras. White and red stripes travelled up and down their arms and one of the teachers asked, “Who put the sunscreen on these boys?!?!” I hung my head low and owned the mistake: “It’s my fault. I let Craig put on the sunscreen and I knew I shouldn’t have.” I’ve always been a hero that way.

Being part of a youth group has always been a big part of my life. From 7th grade on, I was connected to youth group, and I’m thankful my parents made church such a big part of our lives. I know a lot of people have bad church experiences, but I wasn’t one of them. Church, and especially youth group, was really good for me. Probably another reason I was so eager to become a youth pastor myself.

I learned valuable lessons about serving others, respecting authority and the values my parents taught me at home were reinforced in youth group. I also had a ton of fun, and learned that following God wasn’t boring or a drag. And the experiences I gained on cross-cultural mission trips, service projects and youth group retreats still influence my life today.

It’s not too surprising when I look back over those years, that my life was so shaped by youth group. After all, God designed us for community and youth group can be the perfect place for that to happen. Youth group can be fun, it should be safe and it’s a place where a teenager can learn how they fit in with their talents and gifts.

A good youth group however, needs one more component -- it needs to engage the spiritual growth and development of its members. Students need to be challenged with God’s Word and urged to grow in their relationship with Him. The closer students get to God, the closer they’ll be to each other, to their families and to the church they are connected to. Grounded students can change the world!

Are you part of a community of people that are helping you grow in you walk with God? Are you enjoying your journey with others? Are you learning how to use your gifts and talents in a safe environment? You can’t live the Overboard Life without being in a community that will help you along the way. If you’re not part of a community today, find one, join it and then share your life with others who are trying to get out of the boat!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Popcorn changed my life!

As I was navigating high school, I was blessed to have an amazing youth pastor. Kevin Moyer served students for over 20 years, and spent 17 or 18 of those years at the church where my family attended. He had the “privilege” of having all four Castanedas come through his ministry; I’m sure he would like a few of those years back!  

I grew up during the time when fast-food was making its way into the American home. Microwaves started making it possible to cook foods more quickly, and frozen foods were exploding in popularity at the grocery store. Another American favorite, popcorn, was also getting a makeover as the air popper made faster, “healthier” popcorn. (Let’s be honest, pop as healthy as you want, but when you put a pound of butter on top, all the air popping in the world won’t save you from cardiac arrest! And I loved my popcorn with lots of butter!)

PK (Pastor Kevin) however, was a popcorn purist. He was appalled at the decline of American culture and the thought of air popping seeds of corn was akin to liking the Dodgers -- it was un-American (he being a life-long Giants fan). Instead, he favored the proper way of making popcorn. He would pour a little oil in a pot and set it on the oven, waiting for the burner to warm up. When it did, he would dump the perfect number of seeds into the pot, shaking it occasionally, until he heard the first pop! Then he would spring into action, moving the pot in a circular fashion until each kernel had exploded.

Then the most important part of the ritual took place: The pouring of the butter. There was always butter, and always lots of butter. And of course, a pinch or two of salt. But believe me, right up there with air poppers and liking the Dodgers was using margarine or some other form of not-butter. Popcorn was always handled with honor in PK's house.

One of the reasons I know so much about PK’s love of popcorn is because I spent so many hours at his house. It was not uncommon for me to show up late at night (after the farm chores were done at his property so I wouldn’t have to do any actual work) in order to cash in on the bed-time popcorn ritual. His eldest daughter Kendra was a friend of mine, and I was more than happy to hang out with her and Charis (for whom I’d later have the honor of performing her wedding ceremony!) in order to watch the popping ritual take place and enjoy the fruit of his labor.

I ate a lot of popcorn in that man’s house.

My youngest daughter and I have quite the love of popcorn in our house. While I don’t cook it on the stove, I do use an oil popper and usually real butter. I over use the butter so that I don’t need to add any salt, and honestly, I think the old man could use a few of my popping secrets. Next time he’s in the area, we’ll have to have a pop-off with Celina as the judge. (And of course, her allowance at stake!)

I’ll tell you this: My 17 years of pastoring, followed by the year (plus) I’ve had here at the camp, were directly influenced by the hours of popcorn eating I did at PK’s house. It wasn’t that his popcorn was that good, it’s that the conversation and life investment was. We spent hours talking about youth ministry, talking about baseball, talking about relationships, parents, the Bible, the weather, youth events and even on the rare occasion one of his daughters was in the hot seat (he had four daughters at the time, then adopted two sons later) we’d talk about how to discipline children. (Ok, Kendra was in the hot seat all the time. I’m confident if it hadn’t been for me standing between her dad and her teenage freedom, she’d still be locked up in some tower guarded by a dragon!) (There's a slight chance she's reading this...)

Over a decade later I remember sitting in my own home on a Wednesday afternoon. About a dozen students were spread out between the family room and kitchen. They were eating soup, doing homework, playing the Wii or just hanging out with their friends. Hannah and I were talking about a recent missions trip to Philadelphia and in the middle of our talk, I just paused and took it all in.

It wasn’t popcorn, but my wife’s soups are very good. The students were all smiles, the conversation was meaningful and I was doing what I had been taught: offer what you have to the Lord and watch what He does with it.

Over the years I realized that PK wasn’t the most gifted pastor I ever knew, nor was he the one with the greatest vision or the cleanest office. He was, however, even to this day, a pastor with a great passion for God and an insatiable desire to use his gifts to serve others. He studied carefully, preached powerfully and lived out his faith relentlessly. He wasn’t perfect, but he was perfectly suited for what he did in serving students. And his life didn’t just impact the students he worked with, but his students worked with students, who have since worked with students, and they have a heritage that goes back...to popcorn.

Popcorn changed my life!

Are you using your gifts and talents to serve others? As you live the Overboard Life you realize that what you have, has been given to you by God, for the primary benefit of others. Too often we live to serve ourselves, we live to not be bored and to make sure we get the most out of what we have. But God didn’t bless you so you could bless you more, He blessed you so you could have the richest blessings of all -- sharing God’s goodness with others. PK gave freely and the result of his life and ministry has been seen for decades after he left youth ministry, and will continue for decades to come.

In fact I was looking at some recent pictures of the young man who is now running the youth group that Traci and I left a little over a year ago. He was eating pizza with some students and I realized that he too, had learned the lesson, serving those students with the tools he had been given (in this case, a nice looking pizza from Dominos!).

You’ll never find joy in satisfying yourself. I’ve tried and each time I’ve failed. Oh sure, we can find some temporary happiness or pleasure, but lasting joy comes from giving, not receiving. If you choose to live Overboard, you’ll have to learn to give out of the richness with which you’ve been blessed. And if you need some help, feel free to stop by and have some popcorn; I’ll show you all I know about giving to others with a few seeds, a little oil and a pound of butter.

19 down, 21 to go.

Go ahead and take the plunge, even popcorn is better on the water!

Taking your business Overboard

Overboard Ministries was launched in January of 2011, and I didn’t have a clue how it would be used, how it would grow or even if it would grow. Basically, I was planning to start Overboard, publish Project Joseph, begin a blog and then see if the ministry could gain some traction. But before Project Joseph was even finished, I had already made contact with two other authors who were nearing completion of their manuscripts and were eager to begin a publishing relationship.  

As I write this today, we have published eight titles by six authors. Our ninth title and seventh author are nearing the finish line of another book, and title ten and author eight are already lining up. It’s possible that most of these blog posts will make their way into title 11, too! I have had so many conversations with other authors and writers, and I know that as long as God gives us the time, we will partner with many others on writing projects of significance.

When we published our first book by another author, Steve Etner’s Extreme Mind Makeover, I was somewhat territhrilled* of the opportunity. On the one hand, I wanted nothing more than to help Steve get his work out to the world; on the other hand, I couldn’t imagine anything more frightening than being responsible for such a task.

That’s when I realized that Overboard Ministries wasn’t just a business, it was a lifestyle. You see, God was working on my heart to get me out of my own comfort zone in order to do what He wanted me to do. I couldn’t just preach Matthew 14 and the need for others to get out of the boat, I had to lead the way in my life. This new ministry venture had to be out on the water, not just a tool to help others get there.

I’m thankful for what God has produced in my own heart and mind about Overboard Ministries, and I know publishing is just one aspect of it. I’ve already had the privilege of sharing the Overboard Life as a speaker at youth events, churches and conferences. God has opened up the door for me to have conversations with movie directors and producers in order to talk about possible Overboard movie projects. Just last week my wife and I were talking about taking about to create an Overboard Movement for couples and families -- the possibilities are endless!

Ultimately, where God is going to take, only He knows, but I am confident of this: Life is always better on the water, because Jesus is out on the water, and that’s precisely where I want Overboard Ministries to remain!

How might your life be different if you stepped out of the boat in another facet of who you are and what you do? What if today you took your marriage Overboard? Or what if you took your job Overboard? How would your life be different if you took your business and threw it out of the boat and out on the water with Jesus?

16 down, 24 to go!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- including business and marriage and parenting and movie making and book writing and gardening and working out and grocery shopping -- is always better on the water.

As part of this 40-day blogging journey, I’m excited to reveal a few new changes to Overboard Ministries. Several of those changes are going to affect our look. I have some very exciting things to share with you, and I’ll be honest, it’s a little tough to not spill the beans on all of it.

Today, however, I do get to share an exciting piece with you: we have a new Overboard logo! We’ve been working with a fantastic artist named Samantha, and we are very pleased with her work. Sam is helping us with a number of projects (more of her work to come soon!) and I personally couldn’t be more pleased with how she captured the essence of Overboard Ministries with this simple and classy new logo:

I’d love to know what you think about our new look. Share your thoughts with us and thanks for coming along for the journey! You can always stay current with this blog by clicking the "Follow" link up at the top. And please join us on facebook, "Overboard Ministries" and on twitter and instagram @joeacast. (Twitter and Instagram will show you how the Overboard Life plays out in my family and adventures! So tune in for the personal side of Overboard Living!)

*Tear-uh-thrilled: The exciting emotion that comes from being terrified and thrilled at the exact same moment. This is often accompanied by sounds similar to those made by a man who has just caught the largest salmon of his life and is running to show his friends, while at the same time, he is being pursued by a bear who also noticed his catch.

Me, Magic Johnson and my imagination

As a boy growing up in the 80s who enjoyed playing basketball, I loved watching Magic Johnson lead the L.A. Lakers to five titles in 9 years. The man was an amazing player, a highlight waiting to happen, and he truly redefined the position of point guard, and the game of basketball. I tried to model my own game after his, in fact, there many (none) who would say Magic and I have a lot in common when it comes to basketball.  

For example, he played basketball, and so did I. He dribbled the ball, and so did I. I once saw him make a shot, and so did I.

As you can see, we are practically basketball twins.

I’ve always had a very active imagination. Maybe not quite as active as The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (a great movie well worth watching, by the way!) but pretty close. And back in the day, Magic Johnson and I used to play a lot of ball together.

Because I grew up with Swegle Elementary School just a fence-hopping away from my house, the school’s playground became my personal basketball court. I would shoot hoops under the “covered area” for hours a day, rain or shine, and often played in some very intense games against Larry “Legend” Bird and the evil Boston Celtics. And just like real life, my Lakers always came out on top of the Celtics (no, that wasn’t a shot for a buddy of mine who might be a Boston fan and might be reading this blog).

I remember running from one end of the court to other, as if I was playing in front of 20 thousand screaming fans, I was leading the Lakers (ala Magic Johnson) in game 7of the championship series. I would shoot like Cooooooooper from 3-pt range, I’d make passes to myself (I also happened to play a very good James Worthy) off the end wall, and I’d even steal the ball from an unsuspecting Kevin McHale and shoot the “baby hook” to win it all. I could make awesome crowd noise, do the play-by-play announcing and celebrate the championship by running crazy over the playground trying to escape the nutso fans that charged onto the court.

And I could do all of this, day after day, all by myself. I was a one-man basketball game.

Imagination is fun. I also think it’s a powerful tool that God has given us in pursuing His dreams for our lives. In Genesis 15 God was talking to Abraham about God’s big plans for Abraham’s life. But Abraham was frustrated that he was approaching 100 years old and he still didn’t have a kid. (Even back then, 100 year-old-men and women were dropping pups very often!)

God took Abraham out of his little village and had him glance into the night sky. Then God said, “Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them. So shall your offspring be.” Wow, what a promise! If Abraham could count the stars, then he would be able to count his offspring! How many nights after that, did Abraham take a moment from a late night walk to glance skyward and imagine his children, grandchildren, great-great grandchildren that would one day walk the earth? How did he imagine the dreams God had given him?

Have you ever imagined your life being totally used for God? What would that look like? How would you serve your spouse? How would you raise your children? How would you do your job if you imagined a life totally devoted to God? Have you ever dreamed about doing something remarkable for the Lord? Have you dreamed about doing something extraordinary that would require great faith, patience, love, courage and an awesome community?

I imagined some great basketball games and “played” them with enthusiasm, joy and sometimes a lot of endurance. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had some new imaginations and dreams, some God-sized goals that I’ve gone after with a similar passion, energy and focus. I hope the next 40 years of my life will be filled with great joy as I seek to the live the Overboard Life and watch to see what amazing work God does in and through me. How about you? What dreams are you chasing? What God-given imaginations are you living for?

12 down, 28 to go.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Love and Legalism

It’s interesting as a parent of a 7th grade boy, to be navigating the Jr. High years from the other side of the table. More than once, during the past two years, I’ve thought, “Oh my word...what did I put my parents through?!?!” I remember, in particular, Jr. high was when I learned that sarcasm could be a primary form of speech and that I should definitely pursue a career as a stand-up comic -- I was certain that everything I said was absolutely hilarious!

Jr. High is an age where most of us are figuring out some key aspects of life, and like it or not, it’s the time when many of our values for living are set. Choices are made to do -- or not do -- certain things, to be around or to avoid particular people, and these choices set a pattern for our lives. I know a lot of people who’ve looked back at the decisions they’ve made in life, good or bad, who can trace the origins of those choices back to Jr. High. I think that’s one of the reasons why I’ve always loved youth ministry, and in particular, why I’ve always enjoyed the challenges of working with Jr. High students.

Bob Smith was my Jr. High youth pastor and he was used by God to influence me for good. Bob made it cool to be a Christian and taught us that living for God by making good life choices was not just wise, but fun. He taught us early on that if we would evaluate our lives by God’s standards we would end up living with fewer regrets while experiencing more joy. Bob was the reason I started aiming my life toward youth ministry.

One of the things about Bob was that you wanted to be around him. He had his own pressure washing business at the time and worked 60+ hours a week, yet he ran the youth group like it was his only job. He was high energy, he was funny, he wasn’t afraid to challenge the norms and most of all, he loved people. I invited friends to church, to youth camp and to activities all the time, because I knew they would have a great time and that Bob would love them unconditionally regardless of where they came from. In fact, I remember the time we drove up for a weekend youth camp and on the day of the event, I brought 12 mostly unsaved, mostly unchurched, friends with me. Even though Bob had a mild heart attack (we were a church with 2, 15-passenger vans for transportation, and I had given Bob no warning about my friends!) he welcomed them and made them all feel welcomed for our weekend away.

I also remember that Bob used to get in “trouble” with some of our church leadership because he valued people so much more than rules. We had a few leaders who tended to focus on the rules, especially the unwritten rules, of church life instead of the relationships of people in the church or community. One particular event that’s etched in my mind involved my friend Joe.

Joe had come to youth group a time or two before (I think) but also attended his own church. I really wanted him to start making our youth group his new home so on a Wednesday night during the summer, I invited him to come out again and be with Bob. Joe and I talked during the day and He assured me he was coming. So you can imagine that I was a little irked that as youth group came and went, Joe never showed up. I railed on him over the phone the next day.

Well, it turns out Joe did show up. He rode his bike the 3 or 4 miles from his house to the church, and when he walked in the front doors of our building he had been greeted by one of our older “saints”. The older gentleman asked Joe, “Can I help you find something?” Joe told him he was here for youth group. The older gentleman looked Joe over and was a little bothered that he was wearing shorts in church (keep in mind, it was summer, and Joe had just ridden his bike to be at church), and knowing nothing about Joe, his family or his spiritual condition he said, “Well, not dressed like that you’re not. Why don’t you go home and change, and then come back in pants...” (Of course, there were 25 of us hanging out with Bob in the back of the church, and 1/2 of us were in shorts.) Joe went home, but he never came back to our church.

That event has never left me, and in fact, has often guided decisions that I made in youth ministry. I know I made some mistakes, I know I hurt feelings, said the wrong thing and broke rules I shouldn’t have over nearly 17 years of being a full-time youth pastor, but I always tried to err on the side of love. I didn’t want anyone to ever turn away from God because I emphasize religion about God, instead of having a relationship with God. (Thankfully my friend Joe found another youth group that apparently hadn’t read the Bible verse, “Thou shalt not wear thine shorts on a hot summer day whilst riding thing bicycle” and he went on to love and serve God with his life.) But I’ve met far too many people that were treated so poorly by those enforcing the rules, that they never turned back to see the love of God that’s supposed to be behind those rules.

Don’t get me wrong, rules are important. Anyone who thinks they can please God without following the commands and truths of His Word, is sadly mistaken. But God demands that we follow His Word in love. Just listen to these few verses that describe the priority of love:

“ABOVE ALL, love each other deeply...” (1 Peter 4:7)

“And over all these virtues, put on love...” (Colossians 3:14)

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

There are many others but the point is clear: love for God is to guide our actions and our lives, not a love for rules. In fact, when Jesus was asked about the most important rule in the Bible He said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength” and then He threw in a freebie: “and the second most important command is like it: love your neighbor as yourself.” You see, when we love God with all of our being, and when we love others the way we want to be loved, we will obey God’s Word. John 15 teach us that if we love God, we will do what He has commanded us -- obedience follows love, not the other way around!

And if we truly love someone, we will show it by following the commands of God’s Word. If you love someone, will you steal from them? If you love someone, would you sleep with their spouse in a scandalous affair? If you love someone, would you invite them to do evil things with you? If you truly loved someone, would you intentionally want to bring any harm to them? Of course not! And guess what, those are all things in the Bible that we are commanded to avoid! So love leads us to obedience!

I was blessed to see love lived out in my family and in my Jr. High youth group. I know my life has been shaped by how Bob Smith lived out God’s love in my life and in our youth group. But most of all, I have grown, through many mistakes and missteps, to teach and preach the love of God more than ever. I know that the Overboard Life demands a commitment, not to the rules of God, but to the love of God; to loving God, and to loving others the way God loves us. When we get our love for God and others in the right place, the rules become a whole lot easier to follow.

What about you? Are you loving God with all of your heart, mind, body and soul? Are you loving others the way you want to be loved? Put on God’s love first, and then I think you’ll see His commands in a whole new light.

11 down, 29 to go!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!