#marriagematters especially for your kids

When I look back at wedding day pics of me and my bride, I’m stuck by the sheer lack of awareness that rests in our eyes! Our wedding day was pure joy, and we have nothing but great memories from December 28th, 1996. The process leading up to our wedding was crazy, tumultuous, fun, tense, joyful and even tearful, but our wedding day was beautiful.

19 years later and I can honestly say, we had no idea what this journey was going to be like. We’ve owned six cars, lived in 7 (I think?) houses in three states, I’ve had three jobs and we’ve enjoyed a fair amount of travel together. I’ve preached in several different countries, we have met amazing people and God has given us more than we ever imagined in terms of friendships and connections.

But more than any of that, on that beautiful snowy day in Salem on December 28th, 1996, we had no way of knowing just how much our three future children would change our lives. Nothing really prepares you for the title of parent, and I’m not sure if there is any aspect of life that is more rewarding and frustrating, more joyful and painful, more thrilling and excruciating than that of parenting. Traci and I wouldn’t trade our family for anything in the world, and truly, when we count our blessings, AJ, BJ and CJ are always at the top of the list.

So as I thought about this anniversary blog, I thought about how much influence our marriage has on our children. In fact, I think marriage is the single greatest influence on children, generally speaking, and here are 10 areas of life that your marriage is teaching your kids. In other words: your marriage matters to your children, more than we can ever quantify, so keep working at it!

1. Giving our children a true understanding of love: Everyone craves love. I’m guessing that half of the Christmas movies we watched this year revolved around the message of love and that, in the end, love is more important than anything else. But the happily-ever-after movie love, is only a tiny glimpse of how God defines love. Yes, love involves emotions and feelings and the touchy-feely side of relationships that is so attractive on the outside. However, that part of love is fleeting, and I’m sure all of us have seen it come and go on our Facebook feeds with friends still searching for it! True love goes so much deeper, involving a commitment and choice that strengthens those other aspects of love. Traci and I are constantly reminding our children, through our marriage, that real love is an act of the will, not something you fall into and out of based on the day. Real love is a choice to keep growing, changing, learning, confessing, forgiving and embracing one another as imperfect children of God, not as the fairy tale movie character with perfect hair first thing in the morning.
2. Helping them understand gender and roles: The gender crisis we are experiencing in our country today, I fully believe, is rooted in the marriage crisis we’ve been living with for decades. Godly marriages define and promote the beauty in God-designed gender differences and roles. The fact that men and women are different in creation, equal in value and designed to compliment each other in marriage is absolutely central in the gender discussion of our day. During the past 20 years of ministry discussions, with scores of people (from age 10 to 70) who have struggled with their gender roles and identity, I’m amazed that the vast majority of those conversations end up back at a marriage. Their marriage. Their parents’ marriage. Their in-laws’ marriage. Somewhere along the way, they saw in a marriage something that was out of balance. Usually it was a dad or mom that was abusive, controlling, hypocritically “religious” or absent. Somewhere along the journey, a broken or dysfunctional marriage was a major factor in this person’s struggle to embrace their own identity as a man or woman, and to accept the role(s) connected to that gender. Traci and I are teaching our kids the value of womanhood and manhood, teaching them how God designed those genders to work together and how beautiful His plan is in the right context.

   

3. Giving my son an example of what kind of woman he should seek: Our marriage is the first exposure to relationships that any of our children have had. I want AJ to see in Traci, the kind of woman that he should seek for his own marriage! As Traci and I work and our marriage together, he is seeing an example of a woman who sacrifices for her family, who lavishes grace on her children and husband, who takes joy in managing our home and crazy schedules, who excels in her business ventures and who loves her identity in Christ. AJ sees a woman who gives her all, and at the end of the day finds she still has more to give. He sees a wife and mom who loves her family, but prioritizes the relationship with husband even over her parenting tasks. Your marriage will be the standard by which your children will seek their own spouse, so give them a great target at which to shoot!
4. Providing a model for my girls to choose their husbands carefully: Like AJ, our girls are seeing how I treat Traci, and that will have a significant impact on the type of man they will choose. I want them to see a man who honors his wife above all other human relationships (even the ones with my kids!) and one who lives with his wife, not over her. My girls are seeing a husband that embraces and celebrates his wife and her successes, who promotes her above any other woman, and I hope they are seeing a man who won’t allow another woman to captivate him the way his wife does.
5. Teaching our kids generosity in all seasons of life: Your kids are learning about money from your marriage. A big issue for Traci and I is that we want our children to understand the true meaning of generosity in all stages and seasons of life. We want them to embrace abundant giving, even when the bank account has more pennies than dollars! How you manage money, how you talk about your finances and how you model your generosity will trickle down to your children in significant ways. Your marriage is teaching your children about life’s priorities, and where money fits on that list.
6. Showing them how to handle disappointment, heartache, anger and loss: Your marriage is a front-row seat for your kids to view how you handle life’s setbacks. Over 19 years of marriage we have navigated loss, anger, heartache, pain and suffering and our three kids have seen the cycles of grief and the processes of growth play out in our lives and marriage. They’ve watched as we’ve struggled with each other, how we’ve handled internal conflict, as well as how we’ve handled pressure from outside our marriage. As we navigate life’s hard stuff together, our children are seeing our marriage commitment played out in “real life” and I pray this will influence their own marriage commitments.
7. Demonstrating the importance of life with God: More than anything, I hope our children have seen that life with God is the best life imaginable. Our marriage has been a testing ground for us, and a viewing ground for our children, on whether or not we would hold the course God has set out for us. We’ve navigated great moments of praise and thanksgiving when everything came up like roses, and they’ve watched as we “ran the race” nicked up, injured and wondering where the path was headed. We pray that they will see us trusting the Lord in good times and bad, and that living life with God -- not near Him, not around Him, not close to Him only in crisis -- is the very best choice.

   

8. Teaching them boundaries of children and marriage: Marriage matters, and as Traci and I try to navigate the challenges of life in today’s hectic family schedules, we work hard to let our kids know that our marriage is a top priority. We take date nights every week, we enjoy kidless get-a-ways several times a year and have “no-talking-to-mom-and-dad” moments in our house, when we sit and enjoy conversation at the table. Our children are the greatest thrill to us, but our marriage relationship is still a top priority. Our kids are seeing that children don’t drive the family, marriage does.
9. Giving them a model of God’s love for us: In Ephesians 5, Paul explains one of the key purposes of marriage: it is a picture that is meant to represent the love God has for us through His Son, Jesus, and the love we are to show Him. “Husbands love your wives,” writes Paul, “as Christ loves the church.” “Wives submit to your husbands...as to the Lord...” A strong marriage, as imperfect as we are as humans, is meant to be home base for our kids in their relationship with God. I hope AJ, BJ and CJ can look to Traci, in all of her struggles and challenges, and because of how she lives in our marriage, know that they have a God who loves them perfectly and understand how they should respond to His love. Likewise, I hope they see in me what their Heavenly Father’s love is like -- despite my mistakes, sins and failures -- because of how I love my wife. That’s God’s plan for marriage!
10. Giving them a good time around parents who love each other and their children: Our kids are learning that marriage is a joy, and that it’s fun to be together, living as a couple and moving towards the same goals and dreams together. Yes, marriage is hard work, but there is a deeper joy experienced by two imperfect people when they commit themselves to each other in following God’s design for marriage and family. We laugh a lot in our marriage -- and in our family! -- and our children see the way Traci and I love being together.

There are many more I could add to this list. When I think about my parents and the example they set for me and my siblings, I know this list isn’t all-inclusive. I also know that I certainly don’t live these out perfectly, but that’s part of the learning for my kids, too -- they are watching two imperfect people trust God with their lives while devoting themselves to each other. They are watching a mom and dad make mistakes, grow, then change while still moving forward, together, one day at a time.

Frankly, that’s the beauty of reflecting on this for me and I hope for you, too. Mistakes are part of the learning process for everyone, and if you’ve made mistakes in your marriage -- or maybe you’re making a big one right now -- you can get back on track and show your children the right path, today. Kids will have to make their own decisions about marriage and relationships, but I promise you that Your marriage is the first place they’ll look to as a model of what’s possible and what’s worth pursuing. Working hard on your marriage is worth it for you, your spouse and for the marriages your children will have in the future.

What would you add to this list that your kids are learning from your marriage?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- especially your marriage! -- is always better on the water!

#marriagematters

Why it can be good to wait

Waiting can be so hard. Waiting can feel like lost time, lost opportunity and for some, can even feel unspiritual! People from the outside can view your waiting as laziness, and people closest to you can sometimes mistake your waiting as fear or anxiety. Sometimes, however, waiting can be very good. I’ve been thinking a lot about waiting, lately. It seems like God has us in a waiting game, hanging out to see what He reveals for us next. Without question, I get a little frustrated while I’m waiting, but I am learning to trust that waiting is, itself, part of God’s process for our lives.

This morning, as I was driving in to work, I came up on this intersection on a backroad near the church where I’m serving as interim youth pastor. In the past month of taking this road, I have never seen another car at this intersection that features stop signs for east and westbound traffic, but not for north or southbound vehicles.

I was driving northbound (no stop sign) preparing to turn left. There was a car stopped on my right (preparing to turn south) and a vehicle driving southbound (coming towards me) down a hill, moving at a good clip. I turned on my blinker and waited just outside the intersection so that the southbound car could pass me, then I could make my left hand turn toward the office.

However, the gentleman to my right, did not see the vehicle coming down the hill from his right, and you could tell he was visibly confused and frustrated by the fact that I was not making my left-hand turn (he may have assumed I thought I was at a 4-way stop). He began edging out into the intersection, as though he was going to turn left in front of me, as he remained totally unaware of the vehicle cruising down the hill towards us both.

As he was about to make his move, I edged further into the intersection to “block” his path, when the car driving south flew through the intersection (probably doing 55-60) and startled him completely. At that point, I think he realized that had he darted around me, there would have been a three car collision and he would have been responsible for damages, injuries or maybe even someone’s death.

Waiting was a good thing.

For me, I think I’ve too often confused waiting with stalling, or waiting with doing nothing, when in fact, waiting should be a very active process. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned while waiting:

1. Rest while you wait. I remember when Traci and I were waiting for AJ to be born. Traci’s water broke at 1:30am, and by 10:30am progress was slow and painful. The doctor gave her an epidural and then we were waiting (AJ wasn’t born for another six hours!). While we waited, I remember the doctor telling Traci, “Rest while you can. When it’s time, you will need all your strength and energy to birth your child.” With the help of the pain meds, Traci slept for over an hour, and then she rested and napped, in and out, for the better part of a second hour. Later, when it was go time, she was ready. Use your waiting time as opportunity to rest.
2. Focus on habits while you wait. Waiting can be an excuse for laziness or wandering around like a lost man, but it should be an active season of preparing for whatever is next. Waiting is the perfect time to refine the habits we need when the waiting period is over.
3. Grow while you wait. Not only can we firm up our important daily habits, but waiting is also a time to pursue personal growth through education, reading, traveling or through being mentored or coached. Don’t waste your waiting time by constantly checking the front window to see if your new opportunity has arrived. Use the extra time in your schedule to learn a language, develop a new skill or deepen your knowledge/expertise in an area in which you are already strong. Let waiting time grow you!
4. Confirm/reestablish priorities while you wait. Often, in the grind of day-to-day living, we can lose sight of our most important priorities. We can allow bad habits that distract us from what’s most important (God, marriage, family, ministry to others etc...) and find we are too disproportionately focused on lesser things (money, bills, job etc...). During seasons of waiting, it’s good to confirm or realign your priorities, so that when the waiting is over, you are engaged in the things that matter mostt.
5. Review your dreams while you wait. You know those goals, dreams and lofty plans that have been sitting on the shelf for a little while? Waiting periods are great opportunities to pull them done, dust them off, and get them worked back into your plans. It’s easy to have big dreams that fall casualty to the ebb and flow of life, and when God slows things down during a time of waiting, use those moments to reflect on the dreams that used to drive you!

Waiting is rarely a fun or easy experience to navigate. However, as I’ve learned, the waiting process can be super productive in preparing you for what is on the other side of the wait. You may even find out that God was protecting you from a massive collision (like the driver in my car story), one that could have permanently derailed you and your work for the Lord.

I’m learning to wait, better, because sometimes, waiting can be very good!

Go ahead and take the plunge, even waiting is better on the water!

The "Faith" of Barak??

Sometimes when I read a Bible story I get that feeling of, “I could never be like that!” You know, at age 13, would you have charged into the battle field to fight Goliath like David did? At age 17 or 18, could you have resisted the sexual temptation of being chased by Potiphar’s hottie wife like Joseph did? If you were Esther, would you have risked your life? If you were Mary, could you have lived with the humiliation of being pregnant outside of marriage in a culture that used to give the death penalty for such offenses? Sometimes the faith of our heroes seems almost overwhelming. In part, I think that’s because we only catch glimpses of their lives and not the full picture. Rarely does Scripture pull back the curtain and let us see the day-to-day grind of those people, but instead, we get the highlights. And those highlights can seem daunting.

That might be one of the reasons I’m so glad Barak is mentioned as one of the great people of faith. In Hebrews 11:32 we read, “And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell you about Gideon, Barak....” What? Barak? Seriously? How?

Maybe you don’t know the story of Barak so let me fill you in. Back in the book of Judges, we read of Israel’s worst years. (Believe me, that book is awful as it reveals what happens when we live life without God!) But even during that time, God kept providing holy leaders to help Israel out, and one of them, apparently, was Barak.

In Judges 4 we read that evil king Jabin ruled Israel, and the Jews were miserable. Deborah, a prophetess of that day, receives word from God that He is about to show up and free the Israelites from Jabin’s tyranny. So Deborah tells Barak, “The Lord, the God of Israel, commands you: ‘Go, take with you ten thousand men...I will...give him [king Jabin’s army] into your hands.’” (Judges 4:6-7).

Think about it. God just told Barak, through Deborah, that He was going to deliver the enemy into his hands. God actually detailed the sneak attack He was going to orchestrate and all Barak had to do was show up and win the day. So how does Barak respond to this awesome news?

“Barak said to her [Deborah], ‘If you go with me, I will go; but if you don’t go with me, I won’t go.’”

Are. You. Kidding. Me?! How did this guy make it into Hebrews 11???

I’ll tell you how. I think at the end of the day, even in his fear, Barak still had faith to believe that God was going to deliver as He promised. Was he scared? Apparently he was terrified! Was he unsure of the outcome? Maybe. But he still believed, he still went to battle and he still brought about a great victory for Israel.

You see, how much faith you have won’t be measured against the faith of others. Barak isn’t being measured against David or Joseph, Mary isn’t being measured against Ruth, instead, faith is measured against revelation and maturity. In other words, the more you know about God, the more you’ve walked with Him, the higher the measuring rod for your faith. Jesus Himself said, “To whom much has been given, much will be required.”

In one story in the New Testament, Jesus and His disciples are walking through crazy big crowds. A woman reaches out and touches Jesus’ cloak in hopes of being healed from a life-long illness. She was a gentile woman (not a Jew). After a somewhat odd conversation (at least from our cultural stand point) Jesus heals her and proclaims, “I haven’t seen this much faith in anyone throughout Israel!” In other words, this woman who didn’t grow up with the reading of the Law and Prophets (the Old Testament), who didn’t grow up going to synagogue each Friday night, who didn’t grow up hearing the stories of the Great God of Israel, believed that Jesus could heal her. Yet how many Jews had been exposed to the truths of God and His Word, who didn’t respond in faith like her?

God isn’t asking me to have your faith, and He’s not asking you to have my faith. He’s asking both of us to live according to the faith that each of us possesses, and to be willing to allow Him to grow and stretch our faith each day. When I meet God, He’s not going to say to me, “Why didn’t you have the faith of Danny?" or "Why couldn't you be more like Jeromy?!” He’s going to measure my faith according to how I lived, how I trusted His promises based on what I knew, how I grew and how I responded to His work in my life.

What promises of God do you need to cling to, today? Even if you’re feeling a little unsure, or maybe you need a little help to hold on, what promises can you turn to? I love that Barak is in Hebrews 11, because even in his doubt, he proved his faith in the Almighty God. And sometimes, if I’m honest, I have doubts, too, but like Barak, I can still lean into the One who never breaks His Word. Here are three of my favorite promises, maybe one of these will give you strength today. Maybe you need to pull out one you’ve neglected for a little while in your life!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Joe Castaneda

Six months later...

Two weeks ago, while we were traveling somewhere between Southern California and Salem, Oregon, it hit me: we had passed the six month mark since I lost my job. January 16th has become an important date in my life -- an anniversary of sorts -- that marks a shift in my personal walk with God, the start of massive change/uncertainty and a season of intense growth. So on July 16th, six months after “you’re fired,” Traci and I reflected on all that has happened during this time.

When you experience a significant life change, time seems to pass at different a pace. In one sense, it feels like January 16th was years ago: a lot has happened to us in the past 181 days. We’ve driven across the country twice, logging more than 20,000 miles in our already aged van. I’ve slept in 30 different beds across 18 different states, and Traci has traveled half-way around the world to minister in Thailand. We’ve learned to live even more simply, and how to accept the grace, kindness and generosity of others.

This time has been a life-changing experience for our kids, too. They’ve had to say goodbye to schools they’ve been with the past two years, pack up all their belongings into a storage shed and had to “tag along” for a ride into the unknown. We’ve comforted all three of them at different times, cried with each them at other times, and watched them grow during this period of faith-stretching, too. All of us have been part of this journey.

Through all of the struggles of being jobless and homeless, through the challenges that come with trusting God and waiting for Him to reveal the next step, our whole family has been changed. God has become bigger to each of us, and without questions, we are all learning to walk in a renewed and strengthened faith. As Traci and talked about life six months after God changed interrupted our lives, here are a few observations we made.

First, God’s ability to provide has far exceeded our needs on every level. When I lost my job on January 16th, I was given six weeks to move out. That means on March 12th, we, literally, became homeless. And yet, since that day, we have never been without a roof over our heads, and we have never missed a meal. God has opened doors -- house doors! -- to provide shelter, beds, kitchens and basic comforts for all of us. We have lived in the city, on a lake, in the suburbs and in the country, we have house-sat vacant homes or lived in the company of dear friends and family. Every time we’ve needed another place to live -- God has met our need.

Second, we've learned that God is a lavish provider. In a lot of the circles I’ve grown up in, I came to understand that faith in God meant He would meet your basic needs and that’s it. Somehow I took away from sermons, missionary stories and fellow pastors that God was in the bare-minimum business, and not in the lavish gift-giving business. God has grown in my life these past six months, and maybe in this area more than any other. He has been so lavish with my family, and He has shown that He doesn’t just meet needs, He lavishly and generously pours out more than our lives are able to contain.

In Psalm 23 David wrote, “You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings” (23:5). Notice that David’s feast occurred “in the presence of his enemies,” in other words, during the tough seasons -- the seasons when he was being pursued or challenged. But God showed up during that time and David describes God’s goodness like a feast, like a Thanksgiving meal, and says, “my cup overflows with blessings.” During our tough season we have feasted on the goodness of God and have seen, first hand, that He doesn't just meet the bare-minimum need -- He fills cups to overflowing.

Third, we’ve learned that our desire to grow is best met in challenges. Last October Traci and I ran our first half-marathon, and -- obviously, we didn’t know what was going to happen just three months later -- we knew the run was a metaphor for life. One of the big lessons I wrote about was the fact that you don’t get the medal that says you finished, unless you complete the race.

For us, that meant months of training, beginning while the snow still covered the ground. We ran when the roads first made an appearance in April, and we ran in downpours and drizzly afternoons in June. We ran in beautiful weather along Northern Michigan farms, and we ran in stifling heat and humidity in parks, roadways and big cities while traveling for my job. Running a half-marathon is hard, and receiving the joy of finishing requires months of hard work.

Likewise, growing in your faith is hard, but the resulting spiritual and personal change is worth it. Traci and I have longed to see some big dreams become a reality, and during this season, God is preparing us for the reality of those big goals. Does it hurt? often. Is it fun? occasionally. Is it easy? rarely. Is it worth it? always!

Finally, Traci and I have come to understand that our kids have to experience this for their good, too. Honestly, this might be the hardest part of the journey, and the burden I feel the most. It’s one thing to have your own life or marriage impacted by outside influences, it’s another thing entirely to watch it spill over onto your children. For years, though, Traci and I have prayed for their faith, and for their individual relationships with God, and we are seeing amazing growth in their lives, too!

Those times we’ve prayed with them, and for them, those times we talked about God-sized goals, and those times we’ve dreamed together as a family -- those possibilities we’ve talked about are beginning to take shape through this trial. To pray for change and growth and dreams with our children, and yet to try and “shelter” them from this hardship is a disservice!

Just as Traci and I realize our greatest growth occurs in the shadow of hardship, our kids’ greatest growth will occur as they see how Traci and I navigate pain and change, and as they learn to work through it themselves. During this season, more than once, their faith has lifted Traci and I when we were running low. And every time they see God answer a prayer, provide for a need or show up in grand fashion, their future lives are being shaped in ways that wouldn’t occur without hardship.

While I can’t honestly say I want the next six months to be anything like that past six months, I can honestly say I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. If you’re going through one of these season, I want to encourage you to reflect on how God is showing up in your life. For me, the more time I take to see His fingerprint in all of this, the more my faith is strengthened even in the face of extreme uncertainty. I'm confident if you look for God's hand in your hardship, you'll experience growth in your faith, too!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

Do you ever practice walking?

For the first two years of high school, I learned how to toot my trumpet while walking in strange patterns, dressed in polyester green pants with a large top-hot (or sometimes a small black beret) -- yes, I was in Marching Band.  

Unlike many of my friends, I didn’t enjoy marching band all that much. There were definitely some fun moments, but overall, band just wasn’t my thing. (Although you should ask me sometime about the time I hopped out of formation to shake the hand of Prince Phillip when we were marching in the Prince Phillip parade in Canada. It’s a good story.) I’m sure part of the problem was that I just wasn’t very committed to being a better trumpet player, and I’m sure the other part was that marching in the fall in Oregon is often a chilly, and frequently a soggy experience.

I remember showing up for band camp for the first time, my freshman year of high school. We started camp a couple of weeks before school started and while the football players were running through summer drills, we were learning how to walk. Literally. You see, in order to march and play an instrument, you have to be able to move without “bouncing”. If your whole body is bouncing up and down while you walk, it’s very challenging to keep a trumpet on your lips and sound coming out of the trumpet.

So to walk smoothly, you do an interesting heel-to-toe movement and really roll out your pace. But it’s also important that you not take too large a step or the movement isn’t as effective. To help us learn this pace, especially for us newbie freshmen, there was a place called “The Quad” set up outside the band room at one of the entrances to the school.

Basically the quad was 5-sided design (odd to call it a “quad”, right?) painted on the ground that had little hash marks every 18” or so (I’m not sure of the exact measurements). The point of the quad was to walk around it, over and over, making sure that on every step your heel landed on the next hash. The quad was teaching us how far to step, while allowing us to get comfortable with the rolling movement.

It was also a torture device and a fine source of punishment. On more than one occasion our band teacher, Mr. Jones, would be so frustrated with our lack of focus or attention, he’d simply point outside and say, “Hit the quad!” and then watch us walk for the next 20 minutes while he figured out how to get through to us. Freshman had to walk the quad more than anyone else, too, as we had the most to learn about marching. During that first band camp (two weeks long) I probably spent 40 hours walking the quad.

We had to endure the quad so that when performance time came, we were ready to show we knew how to “march” in-step with the music. The quad wasn’t the fun part of marching band, but without it, I’m not sure we ever would have had the right look. Some people would have been taking quick brisk steps out on the field, while others would have been strolling. The quad made everyone’s step look the same, so that on the field, we marched as a unit. The quad made it possible for us to compete.

Do you practice walking? Probably not, because unless you’ve had an injury or been in an accident, you’ve been walking most of your life and have it down pretty well. But what about walking in your faith? Do you ever practice that?

I think most of us treat the Overboard Life like a series of unconnected events. We kind of think that there will be these moments when we have to step out in faith, have to really trust God, but in-between those moments, life just kind of scoots by. It’s almost like we wait around for the marching band performance at the half-time of the football game, but we don’t spend any time in the quad before hand.

The reality is, when those big moments come to test our faith, we won’t be ready to march if haven’t been practicing before hand! In 2 Peter 1, Peter tells us how to practice exercising our faith:

“For this reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.” (2 Peter 1:5-7). Faith is the foundation, but we grow in our faith by “practicing” the others virtues. This is how we make sure we’re ready when the next test of our faith comes. Look what Peter writes next: “For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We practice so that we’re ready to produce.

How’s your practice going? Are you wanting to march without taking the time to work the quad? The best marching happens after we’ve prepared ourselves. Likewise, your faith will grow through practice, by adding to it according to 2 Peter, so that when the time comes to get out of the boat, you’ll already know how to walk on water. The Overboard Life isn’t a series of events where we exercise our faith in key moments, it’s a lifestyle we practice every day!

13 down, 27 to go.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is better, every day, on the water!

Where it all began

A lot of people ask me about how Overboard Ministries started. I have a great 3-minute speech that summarize about two years worth of events to explain how this little venture began. Today I want to share with you the first-ever, Overboard blog post. It’s a little lengthy, but you might find a gem or two throughout the read to help you as you embrace the Overboard Life.  

July 18, 2011:

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Why Matthew 14? The power of convergence.

How did Overboard Ministries begin? I’ll never forget the night this ministry launched. It was as if God Himself spoke. The midnight sky was shimmering in darkness-piercing starlight. The moon was not yet on the horizon and the universe was unfurled above me. The air was hot and still and only the occasional coyote howl or cricket chirp could be heard. I had been praying and fasting for three days, asking God to show me His will for a future ministry. As I looked heavenward, it was almost like the night sky parted, the stars formed letters and words and God revealed Overboard Ministries to me. It was amazing. And of course, this story is a bunch of poo-poo.

I know God can reveal His will however He chooses. For me and Overboard, it was a long, two-year period through which God mapped out a course using some new relationships and some out-of-the-box thinking that helped this ministry take shape. I’m confident God’s work is just beginning but how Overboard started has  everything to do with where God takes it next. This story is a little long, but the process by which God brought all the pieces together are interesting (at least to me) and if you can endure the story, I think there’s a good take-home at the conclusion. If nothing else, there are some helpful links within the story that will expand your resource toolbox!

Back in the winter of 2009, I was starting to feel that God was opening up new doors of ministry and influence beyond what Traci and I had been enjoying since moving to Salem in 2001. This wasn’t necessarily a discontent with what we had, but certainly was a discontent with the scope of influence we had -- and a yearning for something bigger (not better, but bigger). I think I agree with Bill Hybels who was one of the first people I heard say that in order to change to something different, we must first start to dislike something about our current condition so we can fully embrace the greatness of the vision that lies before us. Whether you’re talking about moving yourself, or a business or a church -- there must be a certain disdain for your present condition in order to encourage and promote growth for a new one.

My wife Traci was the first to start to sense that God was moving us in a new direction but soon others were confirming His work. It was in August of 2009 that my dear friend and mentor Richard Muntz went home to be with the Lord. That man poured his life into me and I was blessed to know him and to be influenced by him through our weekly meetings. Our weekly meetings stirred in me something bigger for my life and his departure left me longing for more and was the beginning of God’s Work. Later, in the winter of 2009 and spring of 2010 God connected me with a life-coach by the name of Kevin Flierl who would grow that longing even further. More on that in a moment.

About a year before the time Kevin and I met, our youth group hosted a large outreach event with one of the world’s top up-close illusionists, Danny Ray (founder of Upright Illusions which later changed its name to Captivators). Danny and I really connected during his one-night event in October of 2008 and when he returned in October of 2009 (two months after Richard has passed away) he shared his heart for starting an on-line daily devotional for people to “connect with God”. Tenthdotministries has a great story, and Danny longed for that devotional site to grow into a community of believers world wide, each sharing in the Word, and in their personal experiences together. I was moved by his passion.

At that time, I had been doing a little bit of writing for a denominational youth worker’s magazine and had been activelyish* (if this blog is about nothing else, it will be about the creation of new words that the English language desperately needs!) looking for ways to expand my audience. My first blog died when I abandoned it for a year (odd!) but when I heard what Danny was doing, I knew this was chance to expand my opportunity to write to a broader audience. So I offered Danny my extensive writing services.

He said “no thanks.”

15 years of youth ministry has taught me some very valuable lessons and one of them is this: God isn’t always looking for the most talented writers, orators, guitar players or administrators -- He is however, actively pursuing men and women with a heart for Him who are willing to face rejection to pursue the path He has laid before them. I often wonder how many things haven’t been accomplished for the Kingdom simply because someone said “no” and someone else thought that meant “no”. I’m often too ignorant, too arrogant or too confident in my faith to know those boundaries and so I rejected Danny’s answer and sent him a devotional for his site anyway. Two weeks later he asked me to write another one and two weeks after that I was officially welcomed as Tenthdot Ministries second author, because Danny saw -- not my amazing writing talent -- my heart for the Lord.

And now Kevin Flierl reenters our saga. Kevin and I met while sharing the pulpit for a small gathering of youth workers in 2009. This group of 35-40 adults were meeting as their youth organization was finishing it’s work on the West Coast and pulling the plug on the system they had come to know and love. Pete Steele, a 20 year veteran of youth ministry, had invited Kevin and I to come and share with these people, that we might encourage them to press on even in the shadow of great discouragement. We met that night and God forged a great friendship.

As Kevin and I enjoyed the Tillamook Cheese Pepper Bacon Burger from Burgerville every other week at our meetings, God was using him to expand my view of what was possible if I kept pursuing God’s will. Kevin was teaching, challenging, pushing and prodding me towards something Traci and Richard had already seen; something to which I had been reticent to accept. Tenthdot Ministries had opened some new doors of friendship and ministry, my summer speaking schedule was filling up and God was burdening my heart for something more. Finally the summer of 2010 came around and by then everything was in motion and God was already launching Overboard Ministries. I just didn’t know I was leading that charge for Him!

From July 1 through December 21 God gave me seven different speaking engagements, including five different weeks of camp during the summer and a two-week span of teaching in South Africa with friend and fellow youth minister, Josh Ausfahl. It was during this season of external church ministry to groups that my eyes were opened to accepting how God gifted me and how He could use me for a broader influence on the Kingdom. It was scary and humbling; exhilarating and fulfilling; joyful and even alarming. But it was a great summer.

Towards the end of it, my family and I took some vacation with my eldest brother in Southern, CA. We had received free passes to Disneyland for having made and donated blankets to children undergoing cancer treatment. While we rested and played we made a three day excursion to stay with my friend and fellow devotional writer, Danny Ray. Besides being an amazing illusionist, Danny is an entrepreneur and visionary. He doesn’t just think outside the box, he lives outside the box. For three days we enjoyed rich fellowship between our families and truly a life-long friendship was forged between Traci and I, and Danny and his wife Kimberly and our families. It was an awesome experience.

Danny pressed me hard and helped me unpack God’s work in my life. He built off what Kevin Flierl had been doing, which was largely influenced by the work and wisdom of my wife and Richard Muntz. When we left Danny’s house two things were certain: One, my first book Project Joseph had to be completed. The project had stalled for four months and it was time to finish delivering the message God had given me. Two, it was time to launch a ministry umbrella under which Project Joseph and other ministry ventures could be situated.

Three more weeks passed as Danny, Kimberly, Traci and I exchanged e-mails, texts and phone calls each with new ideas for a ministry name and brand.  While a name remained somewhat illusive, I kept coming back to a message that had become my favorite Friday night camp message and challenge. It was entitled, “Get out of the Boat” and came from Matthew 14. It’s the passage where Jesus walks on the water and Peter asks to join Him for a stroll on the Sea of Galilee. My Friday night message focuses not on Peter but rather, on the 11 other disciples who never left the boat. My heartbeat as a speaker, pastor, father and husband has emerged in my desire to help others live their God-designed calling as His children on the waters where He is doing Kingdom work, not in the comfort of the familiar surroundings of the boat.

As that identity became clear, Overboard Ministries was formed -- we just hadn’t named it yet (not unlike our third child who they wouldn’t let us leave the hospital with because Traci and I couldn’t agree upon what the initials ‘CJ’ stood for) (happily they represent Celina Jordan and they allowed us to leave). Out of the Boat, On the Water, Strolling the Lake, Out on the Water, Water Walking, Walk on Water, Jimmy Crack Corn and I don’t Care, Faith Walkers, Life on the Water, Lighten the Boat, reKindled, Refined and countless other names were bantered about, belittled and eventually eliminated. Soon it boiled down to Unleashed and Overboard and both had their pros and cons. Ironically, both Danny and I were underwhelmed by Overboard Ministries but the longer it lingered -- like a good Philly Cheese Steak -- the better it settled. Truthfully, it came down to google searches (if you’ve actually read all the way to this part of the story, e-mail me a note and I’ll send the first 5 readers to do so a little thank you gift) which revealed there was a plethora of of ministries using some form of Unleashed, but very few talking about jumping out of a boat. Weird.

January 1, 2011 it was official when Overboard Ministries LLC was officially birthed and allowed to leave the hospital -- name and all.

In telling this story that was far more interesting in the first paragraph, I am however reminded that we serve an enormous God capable of innumerable methods and means to connect others. It’s amazing to me how He connected me and Traci with a world-class Christian illusionist and his wife from Southern California, brought a life-coach from Tigard, Oregon, a wise old pastor, mentor and librarian from all over, and any number of other people and conversations to create Overboard Ministries. Before inviting him to perform at our church, I “met” Danny at a youth conference in 2006 where he performed on a stage in front of 3,500 of youth workers -- never imagined we would forge such a strong ministry partnership and friendship. I shared the pulpit with Kevin and we exchanged business cards -- never imagined God would use him to be a pain in my toushy so that I might get out of my boat and out on the water with Jesus. The connections, chance-meetings, geographic barriers and “coincidences” are too coincidental to be coincidences. Someone was in charge of making certain each of our lives intersected at precisely the right moment in time. I’m so indebted to these men and maybe they too, have been influenced for good because of our relationships. I don’t believe in coincidence but I do believe in God’s Divine Convergences.

I wonder how often we miss God’s Divine Convergences that He has arranged for us? How many times is it just “too hard” or the first “no” we’ve heard makes us assume the door is closed when in fact, it just needs a little more pushing for the rusty old hinges to break free? (Hinges that have been made rusty by more than one other pilgrim passing by and turning away rejected or ignoring it all together.) I know I’ve missed some appointments and after I’ve seen what God has done and is doing with Overboard, I want to be sure I don’t miss any more!

Psalm 139:16 says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” -- God’s appointment book for me is already laid out. His Divine Convergences are already on the calendar. The question isn’t whether or not they will happen, it’s whether or not I’ll participate with Him when they do. What about you? What life-coach or Christian Illusionist or wise Christian saint is God sending to you in order to move you where He wants you to be for your next convergence?

Take the plunge, life is better on the water!

* Ack-tiv-lee-ish: To be actively passively-active in some form of activity. Not committed, but not idle, kind of like a lot of Baptists in relationship to their church membership.

Push the bar higher

When records started being kept for athletic events, one of the first to draw lots of attention was the high jump. The high jump probably originated as a piece of military training but soon became a sport in athletic competition. In the mid 1800′s, using a regular type of hurdle actin, the world-record was set at 5 feet, 7 inches. However, in 1895, a slight variation to the old technique was added and the record moved from 5′ 7″ to 6′, 5″ and people were amazed.  

Then in the early 1900′s, the technique called the “Western Roll” was introduced, a maneuver in which the jumper would leap, head first, while twisting his body and landing on his belly. The bar was raised another two inches as the record bumped up to 6′, 7″. Then in 1957, another change was made, this one called the “Straddle Method”. With the new technique, came a new world record and the bar was raised to 7′

It remained at seven feet for about a decade when Dick Fosbury introduced yet another method. Aptly named, the “Fosbury Flop” remains the technique most jumpers use today and the new world record, set in 1993, remains at 8′, 1/2″. Every time the bar needed to be raised, a new technique was required.

http://youtu.be/9SlVLyNixqU

Too often in this life, I think I’m guilty of settling for what I’m good at. I get comfortable with my style and technique, so I rest in that confidence. Nothing wrong with being good at something and nothing wrong with being confident (not arrogant!). But if I don’t try to reach for something beyond what I’ve already mastered, I’ll never grow! If I settle for where I am at, I can expect nothing more than what I’ve already attained.

Like the high jump, I want to raise the bar and that demands that I apply myself differently to the problem. To push the limits, I am going to have to implement new ways to reach my goals.

I think the Apostle Paul was constantly pushing the bar higher. He said, “I press on toward the prize” and “I beat my body [into discipline]” and he was willing to change his techniques to achieve those goals. He would “become all things to all men” in order to clearly present the Gospel. He would keep a healthy and strict Jewish diet if that’s what it took to reach a Jew, and he would philosophize with the great thinkers of Greece if that’s what it took to reach the Gentiles. Every obstacle he faced was another opportunity, with God’s help, to overcome with a new technique or method.

As God continues to challenge me to raise the bar at Lake Ann Camp, or with Overboard Ministries, He is also challenging me to rethink how I do, what I do. The message never changes, but it the method must always fit the context.

What barriers do you  need to push through in your life? How might you take a new approach? Who could you enroll to help you see things from a different angle, to approach things from a new perspective? What is preventing you from taking a new approach?

Go after a new record and push the bar higher. It’s going to force you to grow and force you to approach things differently, but it’s worth it. Don’t compromise who you are or the message God has given you to deliver, but don’t settle for less because you’re comfortable. Reach for new heights!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Why I'm going to work out this morning.

by Joe Castaneda I woke up today and the outside air temperature, with no windchill, was -20! Seems impossible when the sun is up, the sky is blue and from my ice-covered window, the view looks so inviting.

Usually after I have a busy weekend of ministry, my wife lets me sleep in on Monday. She gets up with the older students (around 6am) and drives them the 25-minutes into town to take them to school. This lets me sleep in until 7:15 when I get up with the younger girls, and the extra 75 minutes of sleep is blessed.

Today is one of those Mondays, compounded by the fact I have today off. So after I stumbled out of bed, made breakfast for the girls and settled in to do some blogging, I am enjoying the comfort of home. I’m sitting on a heater so I’m toasty, my sweat pants and sweatshirt are especially comfortable, the music is streaming to our wireless speakers, and my bacon, egg and tortilla breakfast has me feeling like a mid-morning nap would be very appropriate.

Just one main problem: I’m scheduled to workout this morning.

Presently I can think of -20 reasons why I shouldn’t work out. This is one of those rare mornings where I can rest, get a lot of writing and work done in a kid-free and quiet house and did I mention it’s -20 outside? Days like today were made for staying home and enjoying time with my wife (who works from home with a great job) and maybe catching up a on a couple of Netflix shows we’re watching.

But I’m going to mess up the morning by putting on work out clothes, piling on the layers so I can walk to the car, jumping in the car and driving over to the gym. Why am I going to work out today?

In 215 days, 23 hours, 12 minutes and 4 seconds I’m going to be on the starting line of my first road race ever, and it’s a 1/2 marathon. I don’t enjoy running and I’ve never run for more than 20 minutes at any one time in my life. The only 5K I’ve run, was not a “race” and my wife and I jogged/walked it. (you can click here to learn why I’m running it if you’re interested!)

If I make an excuse today for why I can’t hit the gym and get a practice run in, it’ll be even easier to have an excuse tomorrow and the next day. Suddenly it will be the end of summer and my workout habits will be sketchy at best, and I will be no where near race-ready. Then, when the obstacle starts looming closer and bigger, I’ll have to either hope I can kick my routine into hyper drive or I’ll have to scratch myself from the race roster that day.

How do I know this will happen? Because I’ve seen it happen in my life before and I’ve watched as others have done the same thing with their lives. And too often, I’ve done it, and watched others do it, on things way more important than a 1/2 marathon. I’ve watched friends’ marriages end because they kept thinking they would start working on it later. I’ve watched peoples’ health deteriorate because they were going to start their new healthy lifestyle next week. I’ve seen Christians desiring to live the Overboard Life never get out of the boat because the timing just wasn’t right.

Here is what I know about making advances in my own life:

1. The timing is never right. There will always be people, activities and events vying for your time. Those who complete what they start, who get out of the boat and live a compelling life of faith, those who date their spouses, invest in their children, organize their finances and step out of the ordinary and into the extraordinary don’t wait for the right time -- they take the time and, with God’s help, make those things happen.
2. Bad habits don’t take effort. Bad habits are easy. I don’t have to work hard to establish bad habits for my life. Think about it, if you have any bad habits, did you have to work to fit them into your lifestyle? Of course not. Generally speaking, the disciplines and habits that move us away from our God-given dreams come quite naturally -- that’s why we don’t have those dreams already!
3. Good habits require work. Replacing those bad habits is hard, that’s why people often give up on their [insert your goal here]. It would be easy to not run a 1/2 marathon on October 5th. To run it will require lots of sweat, sore calves, aching feet, mind-over-body workout lengths and the need to stretch a 20 minute run into 22…into 28…into 35…into 36…into 2.5 hours! Whatever good habit you’re trying to insert into your life will require hard work.
4. The journey is better than the goal. Ultimately, every major goal I’ve been blessed to achieve has proven that the journey is even better than the destination. When I completed my first book, Project Joseph, in 2011, I had no idea that the journey to finish that book was far more significant than finishing the book itself. We celebrated the book completion, and I’m grateful for how God has used that tool in the lives of others. But even more, I’ve celebrated how God has used the lessons from the process of writing that book to help shape my current life-direction. The process was as valuable as the final product.

What advances do you need to make today? What choices can you make in this moment to hold the course for a goal that may seem so far away? Hebrews 12:1-2 has just been resonating in my mind a lot lately. The idea of “…throw[ing] off everything that hinders and the sin so that easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…” Those bad habits have to go. My desires to take the easy path, to choose sin over righteousness, selfishness over selflessness or fear over faith have to be replaced with belief that God is greater than my weaknesses. With His help, I can run my race (and not just the one in October, but the one I’m running every day!) and I can live in faith out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom.

I won’t be the fastest runner on October 5th. But with a little work I will finish the race with my wife and we will celebrate the completion of a great goal. Even more, we’ll celebrate the process that brought us to the finish line and we’ll be closer to being who God wants us to be through the journey.

And that’s why I’m going to work out today.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Time for me to run my race

This past week, Traci and I attended a 5-day personal growth seminar. I’m sure you will be hearing more about this in the weeks and months to come. At the conclusion of the week, we had an extra couple of days to debrief the event together, and to start thinking about what the future holds for us. The seminar we attended was a leadership development conference that focused on the whole leader. We spent time in 8-member process groups (Traci and I were in separate groups) reflecting on the patterns and habits we’ve developed in dealing with life. The range of emotions ran the gambit but through it all, a few key concepts emerged for both of us.

As we were preparing to leave sunny SoCal for snowy Traverse City, Traci and I started talking about what our lessons meant for each of us. A couple of key thoughts came out and I realized that 2014 is going to be a year of running. In 2013, our theme was “work hard.” We anticipated big changes and transitions in our family, beginning with our move from Oregon to Michigan, and continuing as we transitioned family life, work life and a new ministry into our regular routine.

Even though we are already a month in to 2014, a new theme hadn’t emerged for this year, but thanks to Ultimate Leadership, now it’s clear to both of us: We need to run the race that God has put before us. Figuratively…and literally.

First, figuratively. In Hebrews 12:1, the writer of Hebrews tells his audience to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…” Obviously the writer isn’t talking to people running a physical marathon, but rather, the path of life God has put them on. He was challenging them to run with toughness (“perseverance”) and without restraint.

During our conference, I became painfully aware of some of my own restraints. First of all, the “sin that so easily entangles” is usually a little easier to spot. Lies, lust, slander, gossip, rage etc… You and I don’t have to look far to see what sins entangle us and keep us tethered to mediocrity; we might live in denial about those sins, but we almost always know what they are.

For me, I became especially aware of the second category of restraints -- those things that hinder my journey. Obviously the writer is distinguishing these from "sins that entangle," but pointing out that they are of equal damage when it comes to how effectively we are able to run. My awareness grew in two categories. First, I became aware of my inability to receive compliments and praise from others. I’ve always known I was a deflector (you say, “Nice sermon Joe!” and I say, “Oh, thanks, but really, you were just a great crowd and that’s what made it work…”) but I was really confronted with it this week.

One of my group members pointed out that by deflecting people’s kind words of thanks or appreciation, I’m robbing them of the joy of encouragement and downplaying God’s work in my own life. In other words, it wasn’t a good sermon, God didn’t help me with the thoughts and ideas, and really, only a good audience could have gotten anything out of that jumbled mess of a sermon! Deflection prevents encouragement and minimizes the work of God.

And that is the second issue I became aware of, the fact that I downplay what God has done in my own life. In doing that, I end up playing it safe, taking smaller risks for God and stepping out only as far as I’m comfortable. In my own mind, I think it’s a habit I’ve started as a safety mechanism to my pride, a sort of self-imposed humility rooted in fear that ultimately tames the exercise of faith. Starting Overboard Ministries was a HUGE step of faith in my life, but I believe God wants more and I’m worried about playing it safe. Traci and I have an awesome marriage, but I believe God wants more and right now, I’m not facing the risks on my race that will ensure we can achieve what God desires. My work at Lake Ann Camp has some fantastic challenges on the horizon, and there is no room for non-risk takers.

2014 isn’t going to be about playing it safe, it’s going to be about running my race, and embracing the risks that are part of the journey. To do that, I’m going to have to release the worries and fears that are hindering my growth. I have to embrace who God has made me to be, stepping up to do what He wants me to do. I’m going to have to release some habits, some ways I like to spend my free time, and start embracing the course that God has put me on -- not wishing for an easier course, or one with fewer obstacles. I’ve go to run my race.

There’s also a very literal application to this principle: I’ve committed to joining Traci, on October 5th, in running with her on her (and my!) first 1/2 marathon. She asked me about this over a month ago, and I gave her my standard running answer: “No. I hate running.” During this week long event I realized that her 1/2 marathon is the perfect metaphor for what 2014 will represent. This will be a long, hard run, filled with obstacles and challenges and plenty of opportunities to give up and quit before the race is over; the work that will be required so that I can run and encourage Traci will be no less difficult than the work that will be required so I can run my Overboard race, too. I believe October 5, 2014 will be a day of triumph, celebrating how God has created something bigger through our commitment to trust Him with every part of our lives.

I don’t know the details of 2014, but I do know what this year will require of me if I am going to run my race. Some old habits are going to be shown the door out of my schedule. Some old patterns of thinking are going to be given eviction notices and new tenants will be offered the space. I know the run will be hard, but my shoes will be laced, my running partners will be nearby and hope will be firmly resting in the One who honored me with this course. As the author of Hebrews continues, “Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.”

What does your 2014 race look like?

6 months ago today...

I’ll never forget the moment. As we pulled out of my parents’ driveway, there were a lot of people seeing us off. My dad was comforting my sobbing mom, my sister and her kids all waved goodbye through tears and my brother and his family stood by as we headed out, alongside my brother-in-law, Ellen and several other friends from church. Inside the van, things weren’t much dryer, as none of us were really ready to say goodbye to so many great friends and family.

That day was March 16, 2013 and it was six month ago today that we began our move from Salem, Oregon to Lake Ann, Michigan.

The process that lead to that move can be read on previous blogs, but today as I look back over six months of living in Michigan, there are a few key lessons I’ve learned -- maybe these will encourage you.

The process of growth is often the product of growth

I think I often look as growth as a destination. I think, “once I get through [insert life-changing event here] I will be [enter superhuman power here].” As I look back over six months of life change here in Michigan I’m realizing that the process of growth is the product that I desire. In other words, what I am becoming is a direct result of how I work through the process of growing, not in where that process leads me.

Living in Michigan hasn’t changed me (although I’ve never worn so many hoodies throughout the summer months!), but the process of moving to Michigan has radically shaped my life. In fact, I think I could have gone through this process and ended up staying in Salem, and I would have experienced the same type of life change. The process of growth creates the change God is working in my life.

James said it this way, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials [aka: personal growth opportunities!] because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and compete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

Notice that it isn’t the victory over trials that James says produces growth, but rather, the working through them…perseverance!…that produces the character God wants to develop in us. The process of growth produces the life change God wants to perform in me. When I short-change the process, I short-change the end product.

It pleases God to bring joy to His children

I don’t know if it was the conservative church context I grew up in, or whether or not I simply missed it (and both are distinct possibilities), but somehow I grew up not understanding how much God delights in His children. Two times in the New Testament Jesus was said to be “full of joy,” and both instances occurred in relationship to His disciples (not to His own activity). All throughout the Scriptures, we are told about the joy of God in regards to His children.

In Jeremiah 32:41 God says to the prophet, “I will rejoice in doing them good…”  What a profound statement to think that God rejoices in doing good to His Children! If you have children, you totally understand Jeremiah’s words. There is something intensely joyful about doing something your children love. When you grant them a wish, when you give them a special gift, when you surprise them with blessing -- you smile almost as much as they do! How much more that Almighty Creator God, who knows you better than you know yourself! When He does good to you and to me, it is precisely what we need, and He rejoices.

In Zephaniah 3:17 we read, “I [God] will rejoice over you with gladness…” It seems almost redundant, but maybe that’s the point -- if you missed it the first time, please understand that God rejoices over you with gladness. Doesn’t rejoicing imply gladness? God is joyful, He is glad, to bless you with His resources.

We have been the recipients of God’s amazing blessing through this growing process. And while we know we could never earn His favor on our own (thank you Jesus for making it possible!), we marvel that God smiles and is glad to shower us with goodness. He hasn’t blessed us reluctantly, but joyfully. Somehow, that makes the gifts have even more value.

God’s path is always the best path

I know it’s nothing new, but this journey has reminded us to always seek the path of God. The Bible tells us many stories where the path of God seemed to be ‘off’ one way or the other, only to end up taking God’s people precisely where they needed to be, when they needed to be there. It seems that God is rarely early, and usually doesn’t give the most direct flights. However, He is never late, and what may appear to be a random series of layovers and stops, is actually the most direct travel for the process of growing.

I wouldn’t have chosen Michigan on my own. Honestly, I was looking at ministry on a small island near Maui. Seriously. But the journey God began for Traci and I didn’t start with Michigan as the end, and it didn’t start six months ago. We can look back five years and see how God started the work to prepare us for this leg of the journey. And whatever may lie ahead for us, I am certain of this truth: staying on this path that God has defined as our route, is always going to be best. (I may need to be reminded of that when the 5th month of winter rolls through!)

The Overboard Life is constantly in motion; not because we are constantly on the move, but because we must constantly be in the process of growing. It’s not always easy, nor is always fun, but the end product is worth the trouble. Are you growing? What has God brought into your life as an opportunity to be more of who He made you to be? Are you trusting His path? Are you rejoicing in goodness of God?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Change isn't easy...but it doesn't have to be hard!

Living the Overboard Life is so daunting at times. I want it to be easy, even though I know that being pushed to the limit is what helps expand my limits. I know that being emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually stretched will only result in my ultimate good and God’s ultimate glory. But that knowledge alone, doesn’t make the process any more enjoyable. Then I find myself falling into another trap: believing that personal growth has to be hard. It’s not easy, for sure, but that doesn’t mean it has to be hard. In fact, even Jesus found joy in the process of buying our redemption (Hebrews 12:3), and I believe God expects us to show the same joy in our own growth. It’s not easy, but it doesn’t have to be hard!

Oscar De La Hoya, the great Mexican boxer, once said this about fighting: “Always keep smiling. Work hard and fight the best. There’s no room for ducking anybody. I always fought the best, and whether I won or lost, I always had a smile on my face. Whether it was a tough fight or an easy fight, I would smile…”

Personal growth isn’t easy, but it can be joyful. There are struggles. Some are overcome easily, some require great effort. Sometimes we lose the immediate battle, though we press on to win the war. But through it all, we can be joyful.

Here are three simple ways I’ve learned to keep my joy when I’m in the middle of a struggle to grow:

1. Share victories, even the small ones, with the people you love. Most people love to complain. We love to talk about how rough our day was, or how bad our lives are. The evening news, our online news sources and our current events news sites have programmed us to start a recall of our day with the worst events, first. Flip the switch -- share your joys and victories first, even the small ones.
2. Memorize joyful Scriptures. I have some power Scriptures that remind me to be joyful, or ones that bring joy to my heart and soul. “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (I Peter 5:7) always puts a smile on my heart. After all, if God will exchange my worries for His care, I’m going to be ok!
3. Spend time intentionally being thankful. The words “Thank you” bring joy to both the giver and receiver of them. When I am thankful for the activities of my day, I receive as much joy as those I’ve thanked. Here are a few “thank you’s” I try to use frequently:
   • Thank you Traci for a great meal tonight.
   • Thank you [insert child’s name] for doing your chores without grumbling
   • Thank you officer for that ticket (yes, I actually thanked a police officer for handing me a ticket) (ok, hopefully I don’t have to use that one “frequently”!
   • Thank you Sandy (my secretary) for managing that mailing for me.
   • Thank you Danny for that timely phone call and advice.

On and on I could go, but the point is this: Every day I have something to be thankful for. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, taking a few moments to express thanks to God and to those people He has placed in my life, my perspective can change quickly.

What tools do you use to keep yourself joyful in the journey? Share your thoughts with us in the comments.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!