Why it can be good to wait

Waiting can be so hard. Waiting can feel like lost time, lost opportunity and for some, can even feel unspiritual! People from the outside can view your waiting as laziness, and people closest to you can sometimes mistake your waiting as fear or anxiety. Sometimes, however, waiting can be very good. I’ve been thinking a lot about waiting, lately. It seems like God has us in a waiting game, hanging out to see what He reveals for us next. Without question, I get a little frustrated while I’m waiting, but I am learning to trust that waiting is, itself, part of God’s process for our lives.

This morning, as I was driving in to work, I came up on this intersection on a backroad near the church where I’m serving as interim youth pastor. In the past month of taking this road, I have never seen another car at this intersection that features stop signs for east and westbound traffic, but not for north or southbound vehicles.

I was driving northbound (no stop sign) preparing to turn left. There was a car stopped on my right (preparing to turn south) and a vehicle driving southbound (coming towards me) down a hill, moving at a good clip. I turned on my blinker and waited just outside the intersection so that the southbound car could pass me, then I could make my left hand turn toward the office.

However, the gentleman to my right, did not see the vehicle coming down the hill from his right, and you could tell he was visibly confused and frustrated by the fact that I was not making my left-hand turn (he may have assumed I thought I was at a 4-way stop). He began edging out into the intersection, as though he was going to turn left in front of me, as he remained totally unaware of the vehicle cruising down the hill towards us both.

As he was about to make his move, I edged further into the intersection to “block” his path, when the car driving south flew through the intersection (probably doing 55-60) and startled him completely. At that point, I think he realized that had he darted around me, there would have been a three car collision and he would have been responsible for damages, injuries or maybe even someone’s death.

Waiting was a good thing.

For me, I think I’ve too often confused waiting with stalling, or waiting with doing nothing, when in fact, waiting should be a very active process. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned while waiting:

1. Rest while you wait. I remember when Traci and I were waiting for AJ to be born. Traci’s water broke at 1:30am, and by 10:30am progress was slow and painful. The doctor gave her an epidural and then we were waiting (AJ wasn’t born for another six hours!). While we waited, I remember the doctor telling Traci, “Rest while you can. When it’s time, you will need all your strength and energy to birth your child.” With the help of the pain meds, Traci slept for over an hour, and then she rested and napped, in and out, for the better part of a second hour. Later, when it was go time, she was ready. Use your waiting time as opportunity to rest.
2. Focus on habits while you wait. Waiting can be an excuse for laziness or wandering around like a lost man, but it should be an active season of preparing for whatever is next. Waiting is the perfect time to refine the habits we need when the waiting period is over.
3. Grow while you wait. Not only can we firm up our important daily habits, but waiting is also a time to pursue personal growth through education, reading, traveling or through being mentored or coached. Don’t waste your waiting time by constantly checking the front window to see if your new opportunity has arrived. Use the extra time in your schedule to learn a language, develop a new skill or deepen your knowledge/expertise in an area in which you are already strong. Let waiting time grow you!
4. Confirm/reestablish priorities while you wait. Often, in the grind of day-to-day living, we can lose sight of our most important priorities. We can allow bad habits that distract us from what’s most important (God, marriage, family, ministry to others etc...) and find we are too disproportionately focused on lesser things (money, bills, job etc...). During seasons of waiting, it’s good to confirm or realign your priorities, so that when the waiting is over, you are engaged in the things that matter mostt.
5. Review your dreams while you wait. You know those goals, dreams and lofty plans that have been sitting on the shelf for a little while? Waiting periods are great opportunities to pull them done, dust them off, and get them worked back into your plans. It’s easy to have big dreams that fall casualty to the ebb and flow of life, and when God slows things down during a time of waiting, use those moments to reflect on the dreams that used to drive you!

Waiting is rarely a fun or easy experience to navigate. However, as I’ve learned, the waiting process can be super productive in preparing you for what is on the other side of the wait. You may even find out that God was protecting you from a massive collision (like the driver in my car story), one that could have permanently derailed you and your work for the Lord.

I’m learning to wait, better, because sometimes, waiting can be very good!

Go ahead and take the plunge, even waiting is better on the water!

Our next adventure begins!

For the past six weeks, Traci and I have been on a roller coaster ride of change. Uncertainty about a job, a house, a future ministry etc... has been challenging us each day. I want to thank each of you for supporting us during this journey and for all of your words of encouragement, your prayers and your genuine concern as we’ve navigated this season. While the changes aren’t finished, we are excited to report that a few issues are starting to come into focus. Let’s start with what we can’t tell you. We still don’t know where we’re going to live, although we really want to stay local and keep our kids in school at least through the end of this year. When we came to Michigan in March of 2013, we pulled our kids out of school, mid-semester, and moved across country. The school change was tough, and our hope is to avoid the mid-semester change if possible.

Our housing prayer right now is two fold. First, we’re asking God to give us a temporary housing solution to navigate the remainder of this school year. We would be happy to stay close to Lake Ann if that was possible, but we would be fine if it meant Traverse City (about 15 miles east of where we live). Secondly, we are asking God to provide real clarity about where we will be long-term. (This of course reminds me of a blog I once read about God loving grand entrances or some non-sense like that!)

That brings us to what we can tell you.

This April will mark the four year anniversary of the launch of Overboard Ministries. While Overboard debuted as a publishing company, Traci and I have talked about a number of aspects of the ministry that include serving couples, pastors, parents and students. The publishing arm of Overboard Ministries got things started, but in our hearts we have longed to expand the work even more, and to one day use the publishing arm to fund other facets of our ministry.

Over the four years since then, we’ve drawn up more plans and ideas. I’ve spent a lot of time consulting with leaders, pastors, mentors, businessmen and entrepreneurs to start casting a larger vision for this idea God has rooted in our hearts. Of course, during this time Traci was working her own passions and business, and I was blessed to finish up 12 years as a youth pastor in Salem, Oregon, and 22 months here in Lake Ann, MI.

As Traci and I have prayed over the past six weeks, we have come to conclusion that it’s time to take Overboard Ministries full time. As Traci said, “It’s time to take Overboard...overboard.”

Before I was let go on January 16th, God had already allowed my path to cross with dozens and dozens of ministry leaders throughout Michigan (and beyond). One such man owns a retreat center about 90 minutes from where we currently live. 25 year ago, he left a thriving youth ministry in Florida to return to Kalkaska, MI and build a camp from the ground up! Starwood Ranch is an 85-bed facility that groups rent and run their own programs (whereas the camp we’re leaving primarily runs it’s own programs in summer and winter, and does group rentals in the off-season).

Steve (the owner of Starwood) would love to partner with Overboard Ministries to explore ways to expand Starwood’s ministry to churches in the area, and to create a win/win for both Starwood and Overboard. In one very real sense, there is no official job being offered. In other sense, Starwood will become the geographic launching pad for what Traci and I believe will be a long-term relationship (even if we end of up leaving Michigan down the road). Ministry to couples, to pastors, parents and students will be high on our priority list, and Starwood will allow me to use my gifts now, while implementing the vision for Overboard in the future.

So, in order to launch Overboard Ministries and begin a partnership with Starwood Ranch, Traci and I are confident that God is leading us to raise our own support. This is both exciting and terrifying (“Excitifying!”*), but we have no doubts about the next few steps God has put in front of us. Next Monday we will role out a short video explaining how we will be raising our support, the details of our support and how you can jump overboard with us! God has connected us to a great ministry -- called Ripe for Harvest -- that will make donations a snap and fully tax-deductible (they are a 501(3)c).

One chapter of our lives has definitely come to a close, even though it was shorter than we had anticipated. Another chapter is being written. I can honestly tell you that God’s Word has been such a help through it all, and in particular, almost from the beginning, Psalm 143:8 has been one of my regular prayer requests: “If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice, I’ll go to sleep each night trusting you. Point out the road I must travel; I’m all ears, all eyes before you” (The Message). God has pointed out the next road we must travel, and we can’t wait to see what He has in store for us next. Stay tuned.

Go ahead and take the plunge, even if it’s Excitifying, because life is always better on the water!

*Like its sister word, "Territhrilled" (see entry in Overboard blogtionary), Excitifying is compound-emotive word, linking two strong sentiments together. "Exciting" indicates a happy, thrilling, adrenaline pumping moment like when a person is preparing to jump out of an airplane at 10,000 feet. "Terrifying" indicates a strong feeling of adrenaline pumping horror, like when a person who is about to jump out of an airplane at 10,000 feet realizes what 10,000 feet above the ground looks like! Often there is no sound uttered when a person is Excitified, as both the potential thrill of success and terror of failure combine to remove all vocal capabilities.

When God gives you a stop sign

Today when I woke up, I laid in bed for a few extra minutes, thinking about the roller coaster weekend Traci and I just finished. I didn’t have to get out of bed right away, because -- with the exception of many glorious vacation days -- this was the first Monday in my adult life that I didn’t have to get up and go to work. On Friday, God put up a giant stop sign on our present journey!

Have you ever had those kinds of experiences? You know, where you had your life well planned-out in one direction, but then God steps in and mixes things up? When our family moved out to Michigan 22 months ago, Traci and I had the sense that this was going to be a long-term partnership with potential for our family to stay here for many years. We have come to love the camp and the people we work with, love the churches, youth pastors, pastors and students that we see throughout the year, and we’ve even come to embrace the snow (yes, all five months of it!) that covers the ground all winter. And Spring. And part of Fall.

So our plans included a long-term stop at Lake Ann Camp, but God’s plans were different. I thought we’d be at the camp for years to come, now we will be wrapping up our time here in the next six weeks. This morning I realize that there are key moments in life where our plans and God’s plans come into conflict, and the question we all must answer in those moments is simple: what do you do, when God puts up a stop sign in the middle of your plans?

As many of you know, I have really grown to love the sport of baseball. It’s a great game with such a rich American heritage, and it is full of life analogies (non baseball fans just stay with me, there’s a good analogy here!). A few days back I was watching a documentary about this beloved pastime and I saw some footage of famous plays in baseball history. I watched many classic baseball storylines like this one:

Bottom of the ninth, the home team is up to bat, and they are losing by two runs. There are runners on first and second, and of course, there are two outs. The pitcher and batter are dueling, it’s a 2-2 count (two balls and two strikes), but the batter has fouled off four extra pitches. So on the ninth pitch of the at-bat, the hitter made contact and sent the ball slicing into the right field corner.

The right fielder played the ball poorly, it bounced over his head and hit against the wall. The runner from second rounded third and scored easily, but the runner from first stumbled at second base before picking up a head of steam as he got to third. Seeing the runner’s mistake at second, the third base coach held up both hands as his player came to third, indicating he wanted him to stop running and not try for home. I don’t know if it was just the adrenaline racing through his veins, or if the noise of the crowd blinded him to the motions of the coach, but the baserunner ignored the stop sign and raced toward home plate.

At this point, the defender in right grabbed the ball after it bounced off the wall and made an amazing throw to the second baseman. The second baseman caught the ball, turned, and rifled it to the catcher at home plate. As the runner slid into home, the catcher blocked the plate, applied the tag and held on to the ball. The runner was out and the home team lost by one run. The roaring crowd was instantly silenced and everyone -- with the exception of a few visiting fans and 25 visiting players with their coaches -- went home deflated. 

Stop signs are important.

I get that baseball is just a game (although I’m inclined to agree with George Will who wrote, “Baseball is just a game. And the Grand Canyon is just a hole in the ground.”), and ignoring a stop at third generally won’t cost you your life. However, I’ve driven in countries where stop signs were treated as vague suggestions, and the amount of accidents and traffic fatalities was astounding. Ignoring a stop sign while driving could be fatal!

God doesn’t throw up stop signs lightly. He has a plan and a purpose for every stop sign, every detour, every U-turn, every dead end and every part of your (and mine!) journey. When He turns the green light, red, when He abruptly (abruptly to us) halts the flow of traffic or changes the map you’re following, He is sticking to a bigger plan that you and I don’t have the privilege of knowing. God knows where He ultimately wants us to finish this journey, and our job is simply to trust Him and hold to the course He has given us.

Sometimes, God lets us see far into the future of where a particular path leads. Sometimes He throws up a giant stop sign and gives you six weeks to figure out what He’s got in store for you next. In either case, God is still leading.

And while we wait I’ve discovered something not that remarkable, and honestly, a bit boring (I was really hoping to have one of those profound spiritual Ah-ha’s that would lead to a best-selling book). When you wait, you do the same things you should be doing on the journey. You pray, and seek God’s wisdom, favor and direction. You pray believing that He is in control, He is good, and He will not leave His children without purpose or direction. Waiting isn’t an excuse to abandon our roles as believers (Love God, love others), it’s an opportunity to serve in ways we couldn’t while we were in motion. You read the Bible and draw comfort for your aching heart, you gain wisdom for future work and you keep letting the Word reveal areas of your life where you need to grow. You surround yourself with God’s people and let them help you along the way. Traci and I have truly been overwhelmed throughout the weekend by the number of people who have offered us housing, jobs, money, wisdom, food and most all, friendship and prayer during this unexpected stop. Having habits of prayer, Bible reading and true Christian fellowship during the journey, make it easier (easier...not easy) to keep them while hanging out at a stop sign.

We don’t know what’s next for us on this remarkable God-given journey. Right now, we’re at a stop sign waiting for some new direction. What we do know is this: following God’s stop sign is better than making our own path. So we’ll wait for Him to show us what’s next.

Thanks for your prayers, friendship and support. Over the next 42 days we look forward to seeing what doors God will open, what doors God will close, and where our family will land next. Everything is open right now, and that’s what makes this time so exciting. Yes, elements of anxiety and fear can exist, but there is also a great sense of expectation as we wait for a new adventure to unfold. Yes, we’re working through a whole range of emotions during this break-from-the-action, but we’re resting firm in our faith in a God who loves us deeply.

The Overboard Life -- living the life of faith out of the comfort of the boat, and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom -- is a daily commitment. While I wait for God to remove the stop sign, I’m renewing my desire to follow His lead where ever He chooses to take us. How about you? Has God thrown up a big stop sign in your life? Has the path suddenly taken an unexpected detour or U-turn? Will you commit anew to trust Him?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Lessons from a half-marathon (miles 4-6)

(This is part 2 of a 5-part series. If you’d like to start at the beginning, click HERE) [Therefore] ...let us encourage each other, and all the more, as you see the day approaching...”

After the big start to our race, and after a natural separation occurred based on the speed of each runner, miles 4-6 are where Traci and I established a real rhythm. Whereas the start is filled with energy and enthusiasm, stage two is focused on sustaining a pace.

During our race, the Sleeping Bear Marathon, Traci and I found a very comfortable stride as we came out of mile four and began mile five. Mile four ended at an aid station after a pretty steady uphill climb. I grabbed my first cup of water from this table and as we ran past, the lady handing me my water said, “You have a great downhill stretch ahead of you. Enjoy!”

That downhill stretch nearly lasted through the turnaround at the halfway point (6.55 miles). It was a steeper downgrade at first, but leveled out slowly so that we could enjoy the pace all the way down. It wasn’t one of those downhills where you feel almost out of control, but it was strong enough that you felt like you didn’t have to work so hard to keep the momentum going. It was a very comfortable time in the race.

An other occurrence started happening at mile four: Traci and I began to be passed by people on the other side of the street; passed by the people who were on their way back to the finish line. We were just crossing mile four while the fastest runners were crossing mile eight. Made me laugh to think they were running twice as fast as were!

Here we were given a real unique opportunity: We started cheering on and encouraging the runners who were coming back up the hill towards us. It was fun to watch their reactions. The first few people didn’t realize we were cheering for them as we ran past in the opposite direction, so I started calling out their bib numbers to make it clear: “Great job 353!” or “Looking good 230!”

People’s reactions were great. Traci and I got some big smiles, thumbs up and several people hollered encouragement back to us. We saluted everyone coming back toward us, which, since we weren’t setting any speed records on this course, was about 75% of the field! As we cheered for groups of people, they cheered back and miles 4-6 were, without a doubt, the easiest miles we covered on Sunday.

Here are three lessons I learned from miles 4-6:

1. When Traci and I were recounting our experience to fellow racers, Clay and Lisa (Clay finished 1st in his age group, 15th over all, and Lisa was similarly fast!), we described miles 4-6 (where, incidentally, we saw Clay and Lisa both pass us on the opposite side of the road!). Afterward Traci made this comment, “Miles 4-6 definitely went by the fastest, and they were the easiest.” What made those miles the easiest? First, it was the most downhill part of the course, but secondly, and I think more importantly, we were focusing on encouraging other runners. While we were finally getting into our stride, it was [relatively] easy to encourage other runners. As racers, it’s easy to put your head down and run (and there is a time for that!), but when you do, you miss out on the people right near you who might need your encouragement, and who might be able to encourage you. Once you pass the starting phase of a project or lifestyle change, and you get to where you’ve established a bit of your stride, remember to look around you and offer encouragement to those who are racing near you. Maybe they’re along side you, or maybe they’re blowing past you on the other side of the road, either way -- your encouragement may be just the boost they need in their race, and you will find that it helps your journey, too.
2. I wasn’t very far into mile two before I started seeing some runners who had come out of the gate too fast. The adrenaline and energy of the starting line can deceive us into believing we’re faster than we’ve trained, or that we have a 13.1 mile sustainable speed boost. One lady in particular blew past us in the first 1/4 mile, but just beyond the 2 mile marker, she was walking and trying to catch her breath. After a short walk she started back into her run at a much more regulated pace. She was a good runner and I’m sure she finished well ahead of our pace. But she was strongest when she found her rhythm, not when when she was surging on adrenaline. Use the starting energy to get out fast and to build momentum, but remember that you usually (never?) can’t sustain that pace for long. You will be strongest in the rhythms of life, not in the surges.
3. We really enjoyed miles 4-6, almost as much (more?) as we enjoyed miles 1-3. Remember to enjoy the rhythms of life. There are going to be uphill parts of the path, you will experience the flat lands and you will experience the wind, the rain, the sun and the cold and heat, but during the rhythms, take time to enjoy the route. Sometimes we can get caught up in the pace of others, comparing ourselves to them, instead of just embracing the race that God has put us in. Traci and I easily could have been discouraged by people running more than twice as fast as we were, but instead, we chose joy and encouragement on our way.

Once you’ve started moving toward your goals and dreams, once you’ve started tackling the journey that God has put you on, look for the pace that will help you sustain for the long haul. I think all of us want to believe we can go full throttle for the entire event, but reality says it’s not possible! In running events, injuries occur when racers take to a speed that’s too fast, and rarely are goals achieved.

One woman was running the marathon and when she ran past us at mile 11 (she was on mile 24) I said, “Great job...you’re doing awesome!” She replied, “Not really. I led this race until mile 20...and then I lost it!” She was not happy. I was surprised to hear she had been leading (for the women) because several women had gone by us at that point, one probably a mile or two ahead of her. After the race I heard her lamenting to a supporter, “I just started out too fast.”

After you ride the momentum of a start, find your rhythm and enjoy the race. Too many people get burned out in life, burned out on pursuing their God-sized goals and objectives, in part, because they never find a rhythm. What about you? Are you in need of finding a rhythm? Are you in the rhythm right now, and struggling to enjoy it? Maybe you need to look up and encourage others who are around you, behind you and, yes, even ahead of you! Maybe you need to just see the scenery and take it all in while you keep plugging along? Find your rhythm and you’ll find your strength.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

The least of these...

I just got done with a crazy travel adventure that involved three rental cars, unexpected overnight stays, three legs of flight through five airports and a through-the-night drive in order to make my destination. I had a great time ministering God’s Word to a receptive audience, as well as some quality time connecting with some old friends. All things considered, it was a good trip. During one particular leg of the trip, I was reminded of Jesus’ words to His followers: “And whatever you do, even to the least of these, you do to me.” The “least of these” was a reference to people who were not always looked after in society. Some were prisoners, some were sick, some were probably just down and out; old, homeless or lonely.

As I was changing my tickets for the third time, I walked passed two elderly ladies sitting in wheel chairs right by the ticket counter. They seemed set and taken care of, so I didn’t give them a second thought. When I came back through the line for the fourth ticket change, they were still there, but this time, there was a young woman sitting at their feet.

I didn’t think much of it until I realized she was on the phone, talking to the airlines on their behalf. I found out that these two ladies had been sitting at the desk for five hours (five hours!) waiting to get help with their tickets. Since they were both in wheel chairs, they couldn’t get to the front of the line, and they were both too kind to be pushy.

After five hours, one kind woman who was in the same flight-delaying weather pattern we were all in, asked them, “Do you ladies need any help?” That’s all it took. For the next thirty minutes, she set aside her own travel problems and focused on helping these two elderly women get to their doctors appointments in Boston.

In all the chaos of the moment, I paused to realize: “I didn’t even think once about helping these women.” It’s not that I even could have, but I probably could have helped them get to the ticket counter, I could have created awareness for the airline employees or at the very least, I could have said, “Hi, how are you doing today?”

But I didn’t.

In the focus I had over my own circumstances, I didn’t take the time to look outward and see the circumstances of others. After all, I had a flight to catch (which ended up being canceled), cars to rent and a speaking engagement to make. But at the end of the day, I would have ended up at the same destination, at the same time, through the same crazy route whether I had helped them or not. I’m confident of this: I would have felt better about my day if I had accomplished something productive through all of the craziness.

How often do you stop and pause, and look around at the world near you? How often do you try to engage the needs of others as you are going through life? Sometimes I think I’m guilty of compartmentalizing need-meeting. In other words, I go through my day, and meeting the needs of others is scheduled from 4:15-4:27, and I check it off the list. But what about the needs of those we cross throughout the day?

It reminds me of another blog I wrote about a time I did stop and help out -- two homeless guys coming through Salem. Both days were busy. Both days were a bit chaotic. One day I paused, one day I didn’t.

Let’s not get so focused trying to live the Overboard Life, that we forget to actually…live the Overboard Life.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!