Mistakes leaders make (3/10)

I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. Looking for missed posts, click here: Mistake #1, Mistake #2

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Mistake #3: The Absence of Affirmation

It’s no secret in corporate America that affirmation is the number one motivational factor for employees -- Employee incentives

In fact, I’m convinced many managers are aware of this, to a degree, but as Hans states, “[they] wildly underestimate” the power of affirmation. It seems like there’s a big disconnect between knowing affirmation is valuable, and applying it in the workplace (or home). Here are my suggestions as to why it doesn’t happen more often:

1. It requires time and thoughtfulness. Meaningful affirmation (a pre-printed, “Great Job!” certificate doesn’t cut it) requires time, and some reflection. If you want to thank an employee for some contribution, you have to know how they contributed, or in what way their contribution was effective. It’s hard to wing-it when it comes to meaningful praise.
2. Affirmation requires a level of engagement with your family, classmates or co-workers. You can’t give powerful affirmation as a leader, if you’re disconnected from your team.
3. One size doesn’t fit all -- a leader has to understand the different levels of affirmation his team needs. [see below]
4. Unfortunately, some leaders just don’t care. They are so focused on upward mobility, so focused on goals and achievement, or just oblivious to others around them, and they don’t care about rewarding others with uplifting words.

Finzel points out four different types of people, and suggests some ideas for how to recognize them. I think this list is pretty helpful:

Desperados: These people cannot get enough praise! They usually lack confidence, are a bit fragile and lap up affirmation. If you have a desperado, remember that they need to know when they are doing well...frequently.

Up-and-downers: This group of people can carry on for days, even weeks, without much praise. But something will happen that will trigger a downturn in their countenance. Maybe a change at the office, a problem at home or in the marriage, or the loss of a friendship or pet. A good leader will recognize when an Up-and-downer needs a lift, and will use those opportunities to pour it on.

Normal (Stable): Hans uses the word normal, I would use the word stable, to describe people from a pretty steady background, and who don’t have real high-highs, or real low-lows. These people are easy to overlook because they require such low maintenance. But don’t confuse calm with happy, or non-cranky with content. Look for opportunities to help your stable people be reaffirmed in their stability.

Autopilots: These are you home or office energizer bunnies. They seem to operate at a high level for a long time, and often require little attention. In fact, many of them are suspicious of praise, assuming you have a second agenda. Learn to praise these people as you walk or work along side them. Praise them with coffee cards (Because you KNOW they drink unhealthy amounts of caffeine!) or humor -- anything that shows kindness.

Kaleo Korner (From Justin VanRheenen, founder of Kaleo Media)

Affirmation is probably the hardest characteristic to get right all the time. Because of that, you’re going to mess up…a lot! Failure is going to happen. Don’t let it scare you. How do I know? I’m awful at giving affirmation. Which is very ironic since my #1 strength in Strength Finders is Significance. I literally want to know that I have done a good job and my longing for that, drives me to excel. But because I’m awful at giving affirmation, doesn’t mean I don’t do it.

Here are 3 things I remind myself about affirmation:

1. Making the company look good is a part of doing a good job. But to be honest, it shouldn’t be the point of the affirmation. So much work goes into making the company look good. How does my good work make you feel? What specifically about my good work makes you feel that way? (AAAAAHHHHHH FEEEEEELLLLINGS!!!!)

2. Most times, being late with affirmation is still better than none at all.

3. If you still can’t be sincere with affirmation, just keep your mouth shut until you can. If you can’t be sincere, you’ve got some soul searching to do because something is wrong with you.

That last one may seem harsh, but I can’t tell you how easy it is to loose credibility by being a person a who isn’t sincere. I’ve been that person. I’ve been managed by a person like that. I’ve watched people be managed by people like that. Trust me. Just don’t do it. Or do. And lose great employees or volunteers.

I think some leaders balk at the idea of having to know their staff well enough to know what each person needs. But this isn’t new advice! Look at what Paul wrote the leaders in a church. In 1 Thessalonians 5:14 Paul writes, “And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone...”

If you are in a leadership position (Dads/moms, coaches, bosses, employees, parents, children, students, pastors, CEOs etc...) you have a unique opportunity to bless those you lead with honest, careful and powerful words of praise. You have a chance to put into practice the last half of Ephesians 4:29, “...[your words should be] what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

How are you doing as a leader, providing affirmation to your team? Do your children need to hear more praise from you? Are your employees desperate for some affirmation from their boss? How could you encourage one person today?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make, 4/10

Special thanks to Justin VanRheenen, friend and founder of Kaleo Media. If you want to increase your online presence, or improve your social media content and skills, contact Justin and learn from him!

Words of encouragement (a blog post in just 4 paragraphs!)

Over the past few weeks, Traci and I have been truly overwhelmed by the number of encouraging notes, emails, texts, FB messages, posts, replies to blogs, etc... that we have received from so many of you. It is seriously humbling to be supported by so many people from so many walks of life. We’ve received notes from pastors and missionaries, co-workers, parents, cousins, firemen, military veterans, teachers, brothers, youth workers, students, 2nd career moms, CEOs, unemployed husbands, stay-at-home moms, principals, sisters, business owners, in-laws, church members from our previous work, small group members, baseball coaches and more. Truly we are humbled. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping carry us thru this season of transition. Your words of encouragement bring to mind Paul’s command in Ephesians, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those hear” (4:29). Without question, we have been recipients of your grace.

We’ve printed off all the encouragement we’ve received and taped each one to the back of our door. Over the next year I want to offer the same encouragement to others, that has been offered to us, so here’s what I’m committing to: each day between now and December 31st, I’m going to write a note that “fits the occasion,” praying “that it may give grace to those that hear.” Your words have not only encouraged us, but now they will be the inspiration for words that, by God’s grace, will be an encouragement to others.

Words are so important, and I believe I understand that now, better than ever before. Who could you encourage today? Will you take a little challenge with your words? For the next (7, 14 or 30...you choose!) days, take time to write one meaningful card, email, FB message or [insert your preferred message of communicating] to a person that needs a boost. Will you do that? Let me know in comments who's on board!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Hey Married guys, want to bless your wife with powerful words of encouragement? Check out this simple idea you can do for a week, a month or a whole year! TRUST ME, it's worth it!

Lessons from a half-marathon (miles 4-6)

(This is part 2 of a 5-part series. If you’d like to start at the beginning, click HERE) [Therefore] ...let us encourage each other, and all the more, as you see the day approaching...”

After the big start to our race, and after a natural separation occurred based on the speed of each runner, miles 4-6 are where Traci and I established a real rhythm. Whereas the start is filled with energy and enthusiasm, stage two is focused on sustaining a pace.

During our race, the Sleeping Bear Marathon, Traci and I found a very comfortable stride as we came out of mile four and began mile five. Mile four ended at an aid station after a pretty steady uphill climb. I grabbed my first cup of water from this table and as we ran past, the lady handing me my water said, “You have a great downhill stretch ahead of you. Enjoy!”

That downhill stretch nearly lasted through the turnaround at the halfway point (6.55 miles). It was a steeper downgrade at first, but leveled out slowly so that we could enjoy the pace all the way down. It wasn’t one of those downhills where you feel almost out of control, but it was strong enough that you felt like you didn’t have to work so hard to keep the momentum going. It was a very comfortable time in the race.

An other occurrence started happening at mile four: Traci and I began to be passed by people on the other side of the street; passed by the people who were on their way back to the finish line. We were just crossing mile four while the fastest runners were crossing mile eight. Made me laugh to think they were running twice as fast as were!

Here we were given a real unique opportunity: We started cheering on and encouraging the runners who were coming back up the hill towards us. It was fun to watch their reactions. The first few people didn’t realize we were cheering for them as we ran past in the opposite direction, so I started calling out their bib numbers to make it clear: “Great job 353!” or “Looking good 230!”

People’s reactions were great. Traci and I got some big smiles, thumbs up and several people hollered encouragement back to us. We saluted everyone coming back toward us, which, since we weren’t setting any speed records on this course, was about 75% of the field! As we cheered for groups of people, they cheered back and miles 4-6 were, without a doubt, the easiest miles we covered on Sunday.

Here are three lessons I learned from miles 4-6:

1. When Traci and I were recounting our experience to fellow racers, Clay and Lisa (Clay finished 1st in his age group, 15th over all, and Lisa was similarly fast!), we described miles 4-6 (where, incidentally, we saw Clay and Lisa both pass us on the opposite side of the road!). Afterward Traci made this comment, “Miles 4-6 definitely went by the fastest, and they were the easiest.” What made those miles the easiest? First, it was the most downhill part of the course, but secondly, and I think more importantly, we were focusing on encouraging other runners. While we were finally getting into our stride, it was [relatively] easy to encourage other runners. As racers, it’s easy to put your head down and run (and there is a time for that!), but when you do, you miss out on the people right near you who might need your encouragement, and who might be able to encourage you. Once you pass the starting phase of a project or lifestyle change, and you get to where you’ve established a bit of your stride, remember to look around you and offer encouragement to those who are racing near you. Maybe they’re along side you, or maybe they’re blowing past you on the other side of the road, either way -- your encouragement may be just the boost they need in their race, and you will find that it helps your journey, too.
2. I wasn’t very far into mile two before I started seeing some runners who had come out of the gate too fast. The adrenaline and energy of the starting line can deceive us into believing we’re faster than we’ve trained, or that we have a 13.1 mile sustainable speed boost. One lady in particular blew past us in the first 1/4 mile, but just beyond the 2 mile marker, she was walking and trying to catch her breath. After a short walk she started back into her run at a much more regulated pace. She was a good runner and I’m sure she finished well ahead of our pace. But she was strongest when she found her rhythm, not when when she was surging on adrenaline. Use the starting energy to get out fast and to build momentum, but remember that you usually (never?) can’t sustain that pace for long. You will be strongest in the rhythms of life, not in the surges.
3. We really enjoyed miles 4-6, almost as much (more?) as we enjoyed miles 1-3. Remember to enjoy the rhythms of life. There are going to be uphill parts of the path, you will experience the flat lands and you will experience the wind, the rain, the sun and the cold and heat, but during the rhythms, take time to enjoy the route. Sometimes we can get caught up in the pace of others, comparing ourselves to them, instead of just embracing the race that God has put us in. Traci and I easily could have been discouraged by people running more than twice as fast as we were, but instead, we chose joy and encouragement on our way.

Once you’ve started moving toward your goals and dreams, once you’ve started tackling the journey that God has put you on, look for the pace that will help you sustain for the long haul. I think all of us want to believe we can go full throttle for the entire event, but reality says it’s not possible! In running events, injuries occur when racers take to a speed that’s too fast, and rarely are goals achieved.

One woman was running the marathon and when she ran past us at mile 11 (she was on mile 24) I said, “Great job...you’re doing awesome!” She replied, “Not really. I led this race until mile 20...and then I lost it!” She was not happy. I was surprised to hear she had been leading (for the women) because several women had gone by us at that point, one probably a mile or two ahead of her. After the race I heard her lamenting to a supporter, “I just started out too fast.”

After you ride the momentum of a start, find your rhythm and enjoy the race. Too many people get burned out in life, burned out on pursuing their God-sized goals and objectives, in part, because they never find a rhythm. What about you? Are you in need of finding a rhythm? Are you in the rhythm right now, and struggling to enjoy it? Maybe you need to look up and encourage others who are around you, behind you and, yes, even ahead of you! Maybe you need to just see the scenery and take it all in while you keep plugging along? Find your rhythm and you’ll find your strength.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Lessons from 4 days in airports

After speaking at a winter camp in Oregon and Iowa, I had the joy of traveling home to the midwest during winter. Anything can happen with wintry mid-west travel…and it did. I spent four days living in airports, boarding and de-boarding planes, and trying to engage my brain as much as possible. During this stint of getting to know every nook and cranny of the airports in Des Moines and Chicago, I learned a lot about the Overboard Life. Here are a few important lessons that should affect how I live outside the airport:

1. Be kind to people under stress. While winter was blasting the midwest with snow, sub-zero wind chills and ice, those working in the travel industry were under a ton of stress. One day in Chicago, over 3,500 flights had been canceled, and thousands of weary travelers were stranded. Many of them, like me, were just trying to get home, some were trying to get to a job, and a few I met were on vacation. Everyone was going somewhere. The poor American and United airline employees were powerless to control the weather, but so many customers were rude, unkind and downright childish in the way they talked to the workers. I was amazed at how far kind words went whenever I spoke to employees who were doing everything they could to get everyone rebooked and sent home. Some were working double shifts to help with the overload of travelers and a simple, “thank you for your hard work” or “I really appreciate that you’re doing all you can do” changed demeanors, brought smiles and in one case, even a couple of tears to a travel agent who had been beat up by several of the previous customers in line. When people are under stress, be kind. I still worked hard to get home and to get on flights etc… but I was able to do it with kindness and those who received it were grateful. Paul’s words are so fitting and so direct: “Be kind to one another…”
2. Think win/win, not win/lose. While everyone was trying to get a flight, there were just limited number of seats. Flying into Traverse City, for example, there were just a handful of flights a day, and when previous days’ flights were canceled, the flights suddenly were massively overbooked. One day, I -- along with two others -- were put on a plane headed back to TC and suddenly we were removed by customers who were high up on that particular airline’s loyalty program. As we got off, the patrons getting on were a tad smug and boasting a bit about their success, “no one treats me like that” was one comment I heard. Well one of the girls with me burst into tears as we lost our seats, because she had been stuck in Chicago for four days, her luggage had been checked through to TC, so she was living on airport food, airport clothes and very ready to be home. In order for one set of travelers to “win” their seats, someone else “lost” theirs. Sometimes when we’re fighting for “our” way, “our” seats or “our” thoughts, we take a win/lose mentality. We don’t think about the cost to others if we get our way, because we’re so stuck in one zone. How can you turn a win/lose into a win/win?
3. Everyone loves to talk. I was waiting at one gate, hopeful that I was finally going to catch a flight. A young lady, in her mid 20’s, was sitting next to me with ear buds planted firmly in her ears, playing games on her phone. After an hour, she popped them out and sat their silently. I simply asked, “Where you headed?” and we engaged in a 60-70 minute conversation about her life. She was a student, traveling abroad, but headed home from a vacation in Florida. Her family is fractured a bit, but her aunt and uncle’s home in Florida is a safe place for her. She loves the son, but stays in Iowa because that’s been her childhood home. She shared with me her hopes and dreams, shared heart ache about a broken relationship and we even talked a bit about God. Over and over I engaged people in conversation and I realized that everyone has a story, and everyone loves to share their story. I never had a shortage of conversation, all I had to do was ask a few questions, and people would begin to talk. Are you listening to those around you?
4. People aren’t used to receiving grace. Sometimes when you offer kindness and grace to people, they don’t receive it well. Grace can be easier to dispense than to receive. (I only have to look at myself to see this truth in action!) While travelers were walking numbly through airports (is it just me, or does time move at a different pace during travel?!), and airline employees were working frantically to solve problems, grace wasn’t always readily available, and when it was given, wasn’t always received well. But people’s inability or choice to not receive it, shouldn’t discourage us from still offering it. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 reminds us that the grace God gives us is meant to be given out to others. The passage doesn’t say others have to take it, we just have to be willing to give it.
5. Sometimes a hug is all it takes. Back to point #2, when the young lady and I were booted out of our seats on the airplane, we had to do the walk of shame back up to the gate. However, when we got to the gate, the door was closed and we had to wait for the flight attendant to open the door and let us back in to the terminal. This young lady and I were standing silently, both feeling a little bummed about being on a plane and then losing our seats, when she suddenly burst into tears…full on sobbing! I didn’t know what to do as it was just the two of us on a the jetway. After a moment, I just reached over and gave her an awkward Baptist side-hug, and she buried her face into my shoulder and cried her little eyes out. She had been stranded for four days, she was at her wits end, and losing a seat she had been begging for was devastating to her. I couldn’t help her. I had no way to get her on the flight, but I could stand there and hug her, a total stranger, until she regrouped. By the time the flight attendant arrived, she had recovered enough so that we could go to the counter and figure out our next flight options. I’ll never forget that the hug from a total stranger gave her the strength to process and press on through what was an emotional moment for her.
6. Let your friends help. I have been blessed with amazing friends that live all over the world. Two of them live in Chicago, Mikee and Joel Stutzman. More than once during the day they sent a text saying, “If you get stuck, give us a call and we’ll come get you.” Mikee and Joel live an hour from the airport, and I kept thinking, “I don’t want to put them out….” After two days of hobnobbing between airports and hotels etc… I needed to be with friends. So after an on again, off again airplane ride to nowhere, I called them and they were eager to come pick me up. I could tell it was a joy for them to help out, put me up in their home, let me eat their food and then to take me back to the airport in the morning. They were practicing 1 Peter 4:9 (the subject of another blog!) and demonstrating the gift of hospitality. I’ll tell you what, when I got back to the airport for day four, I was refreshed, energized and ready for whatever was next. My friends were a real encouragement to me. Are you letting your friends encourage you?
7. Walking clears the head. Whenever you get bogged down, what do you do to clear your head? I couldn’t do much in the airport, but I decided to walk. Who knew you could walk over 3.5 miles in the Chicago airport and still not hit all the terminals? I used an iPhone app to track my mileage and I set out walking. It helped. I realized that when I often get mentally or emotionally bogged down, I tend to turn to things that don’t help clear my mind: food, tv, sulking etc… Instead, a high-energy walk helped a ton. Physical exercise is a huge part of our mental health and well-being, even if you’re stuck in an airport.

The Overboard Life isn’t meant to be lived in church or in some secret religious practice. The Overboard Life is a process of embracing who God made us to be (Psalm 139), so that we can do what God made us to do (Ephesians 2:10). That means there are lessons and opportunities, everywhere. I hope I never have the opportunity to be stuck in airports for four days, again. However, if I do, I still am privileged with the choice to live Overboard with those whom I am encountering. Overboard living doesn’t get to take days off; “whatever we do, whether in word or deed” or travel or fun or exercise or…. “do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

What lessons are you learning?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

If you are looking for some great Overboard resources, be sure to visit our bookstore: www.bookstore.overboardministries.com

3 thoughts to start your week off right!

For most of us, the week starts on Monday. Many wake up Monday dreading the days that lie before them, while others wake up with anticipation for good things. Some start the week and just wonder how it’s going to go, knowing that, like-it-or-not, the new week is here. What about starting the week with on the right foot? What about jumping up tomorrow and getting into your day with a fundamental view toward seeing great things happen -- toward living the Overboard Life? Let me give you three hints to getting your week off to that kind of start:

1. Change the morning mindset: A few years ago I realized I was walking around telling myself how I tired I was, all the time. Sometimes I think I really was tired, but other times I think I was just so much in the habit of self-talk, that I convinced myself I was tired. I remember one day as I was walking to my office thinking, “Man, I’m tired” when I decided to stand up to myself. “Am I really tired?” Myself was stunned that I would be so brash, but myself did some thinking. Then I said to me, “You know what, I don’t think I really am tired. I slept 8 hours, had a great breakfast, a good work out and actually, I think I’m feeling pretty good.” That was a turning point for me. The simple change of mindset literally put a different outlook on my day. What thinking patterns are putting your Mondays off to a bad start? Are you waking up Monday anticipating the worst, feeling horrible and dreading the week simply because you’ve already decided that the worst will happen? Wake up tomorrow intentionally choosing your thoughts.
2. Put God’s Word in your routine: I know my weeks don’t go well when I start them without God’s Word present. It’s amazing what a little time each day can do to shape the outcome of day, week, month, year…or life. Now don’t get me wrong, the Bible (or God!) isn’t some Genie in a Bottle that if you read it right, your life will be great! However, it’s frequent that I start with a simple passage (like Psalm 103) and find a powerful truth that helps shape my thinking for the rest of the day (like verse 14 where God promises to remove my sins as far as the east is from the west!). Maybe you’re not used to reading your Bible -- that’s ok, just start small. Read a chapter a day in the book of John. Start with a couple of Psalms. Open to Proverbs and just read the words of the world’s wisest man. Even 5 minutes a day can be a difference maker.
3. Make it your goal to encourage others: Imagine waking up tomorrow and thinking, “What can I do today to encourage/help/bless/thank [insert name of person here]?”. When we start with a focus on others, it actually shifts our attitudes towards giving, rather than taking and consuming. Consumers tend to be complainers. Traci and I marvel at how often we see some one receiving a gift or blessing, yet hear them complaining about how it was the wrong gift, how much more they need, how bad their lives are etc… etc… People who primarily consume are people who primarily complain. If you go to work or school to consume (time, money, other people’s time/energy) you will find yourself lacking, and most likely complaining, upset, cranky, frustrated and eager for Friday to get here.

How will your week go? Truly only God knows, but there are some choices you can make to get in the right mindset. What will you choose?

Go ahead and the the plunge…life is always better on the water! (Even on Monday!)

Bullies (2 of 2)

While people are still processing the suicide of a 12-year-old Florida girl over apparent bullying, today news comes of another school shooting. Early reports indicate that bullying may have led a young middle school boy to pull a gun out in class, killing one teacher and wounding two other students. No official reports have been released but some who knew the young man (who also was killed, though police say they did not fire upon the student) say he was a victim of bullying.  

Thursday we took at look at one of the realities of bullying: the world is in desperate need of Savior. Today we’ll look at the second reality: the world is in desperate need of Christians who will live like their Savior.

There are far too many Christians who pay lip service to Jesus, but don’t back up their words with actions. Jesus didn’t have time for those kinds of “followers” and writers like Paul, James, John and Peter spoke harshly against those who would profess Jesus with their mouths but fail to convey Him with their lives. James wrote the following:

“But some will say, ‘You have faith and I have works.’ Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.” James 2:18

“For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.” James 2:26

James is message is so clear: don’t claim you know Jesus with what you say, if you don’t plan to back it up with how you live. In other words, the world needs to see Christians who are striving to live like their Savior.

As a young youth pastor, just a couple years into my first ministry, a young man passed away in the community. He and several friends had gone to a party and all of them participated in underage drinking and were all substantially intoxicated. After the party, the girl who was “least drunk” agreed to drive home while two other passengers hopped in the car.

On the way home, the drunk teenage girl crossed a center line and struck another vehicle head on while driving on a small, two-lane, country highway. Her two passengers were killed. One instantly, and one several weeks later after several surgeries and medical procedures were unable to bring the young man out of his coma.

In the aftermath, several students talked about how they wished they had spoken up. I remember one young lady in particular who had been at the party, who had watched her three drunk friends head out to the car, and who said nothing though she was sober and knew their choice was a bad one. She was rattled with guilt.

I wonder what would have happened in Florida last month, if one student had stepped in and tried to live like Jesus. If one student had offered a little hope to a girl being overwhelmed by evil, I wonder if this story could have been different. Jesus was reaching out to people all the time, stepping into their heartache, and their pain, in order to offer hope. The world needs a Savior, and the world is in desperate need of Christians who will live like their Savior.

A few weeks ago my wife offered hope to a struggling young lady (read that story here). But how many times do you and I see some injustice, some deep pain inflicted on another human being, and we walk by as though it’s none of our business, or as though you and I don’t have the message of hope that is needed? Helping people is messy. Engaging hurting people will take up your time, sometimes your money, and always your energy and sympathy.

But isn’t the price worth it?

Let’s help put an end to bullying by living out our faith with actions. Let’s stop sitting passively on the side while others suffer, and step into the messiness of helping others just as our Savior did. The world needs Jesus, and often, the way they will find Him is through the lives of His followers who choose to live as He did. Will you help?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

The lost art of letter writing

My kids love to hear stories about when Traci and I were dating. We started dating in high school (which we highly discouraged with our students during 16 years of youth ministry!!!) and continued through college, though we both went to separate schools across the country. During our college years, the internet was just coming into its own, and email was just becoming a daily tool used by the common folk. Forget about texting…cell phones were still the size of small pianos, and everyone had a Costco calling card to make those ghastly-expensive long distance phone calls. But during that time, we also wrote letters back and forth. The arrival of a letter from Traci could radically change the course of my day. If my day was going poorly, it suddenly improved, and if it was going well, it suddenly got great. Her letters had power.

Letters in general have that effect. I still love receiving letters in the mail, and though I do the vast majority of my communication through email, texts and social media, I try to make it a habit to mail out four or five letters/postcards, every week. In fact, Traci and I still mail letters to each other, encouraging cards, or those mushy romantic notes that make me blush when I read them in my office.

After we moved to Michigan from Oregon, I’ve tried to help our kids develop a weekly letter writing habit, too. Each Sunday they sit down and write at least one friend, one cousin or a grandparent a quick note, tell them about life in Michigan and maybe send a long a picture or two. Although they often complain when initially asked, they actually end up enjoying it. Often, they write more than they intended and then of course, they are thrilled when they get a response back!

There’s something special about letters in the mail. Over the years, I’ve written CEOs of large companies, conductors of orchestras and choirs and even coaches of sports teams. I’m amazed, because I almost always get a response when I put a letter in the mail. Maybe it’s because it’s too easy to send an email, and honestly, if your inbox looks anything like mine, 197 emails are tough to sort through and make thoughtful responses.

Of course, in Bible times letters were the only way to communicate to a person, or a group of people, without having to make a trip to everybody you wanted to connect with. Even 2,000 years before Jesus was born, there are records that the Egyptians had a developed message delivery system that carried official documents, cargo and letters all over their empire. Letters have always had an important place in human culture.

I think letters can also be a huge encouragement to someone trying to live the Overboard Life. Paul wrote churches in the early first century AD, pleading with them to follow closely after Jesus. His letters were always instructional, usually encouraging and full of wisdom, grace and practical application. He thanked people personally, he offered correction gently and he shared his heart for those he loved. We know his letters had impact, because they were shared from church to church, from house to house, and then divinely preserved for the past two thousand years.

One of my favorite of Paul’s letters was the one he wrote to the church in Colosse (Colossians). He starts with such a warm welcome, and ends with an equally warm farewell:

“We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and the love you have for all the saints…” (Colossians 3:3-4)

“Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings. give my greetings to the brothers at Laodicea, and to Nympha and the church in her house…I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand. Remember my chains. Grace be with you.” (Colossians 3:15, 18)

He starts with joy, then ends with personal greetings reflecting his heart and love for the people of Colosse. They weren’t just a church or a group of believers, they were people who loved God and loved Paul, and Paul loved them. His letters expressed what he couldn’t do face-to-face. I can only imagine the encouragement and challenge his words brought as he penned his affections to those in Colosse.

Will you write a letter this week? Surprise someone with an “old fashioned letter” in the mail, and encourage them to live the Overboard Life. Maybe you can thank them for who they are, express your love for them because of their connection to you, or show appreciation for something they did that may have gone unnoticed.

A few years back I attended one of Tati’s choir concerts at her high school. They did a beautiful performance of a song I had heard in Israel at the Holocaust memorial just outside of Jerusalem. The choir’s performance was masterful. They captured the language and the beauty of the song, in a way that was somber and honoring to those it was intended to pay tribute.

I wrote the director and thanked her, and she sent back a very touching response. We began a short dialogue about the piece she directed and the God to which the song references. I don’t know what will ever become of that contact, but I do know this: a letter gave me access I might not have had otherwise.

Send a letter this week and see if God gives you access that you might not have had otherwise. Encourage a friend, love on your spouse or kids or point some one to the great God who loves them dearly, and has spared nothing in order to bring them into fellowship with Him. What are you waiting, write that letter today!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!