Thoughts about the tragic death of Robin Williams

Last Monday I was enjoying the great city of Seattle, Washington, watching Felix Hernandez take care of the Toronto Blue Jays in classic Felix fashion. He was as dominant as always, and I was pumping my fist as the Mariners put up seven runs in the sixth inning when I heard the news: actor/comedian Robin Williams had tragically chosen to take his own life. That news certainly dulled the moment, and then later when I had a chance to watch a little news and read a couple of headlines, the facts of his death underscored the tragedy of the moment. The comedian who could make anyone laugh, famous for his many Hollywood starring roles and off-color standup comedy, struggled to find lasting happiness in his own life. News stories emerged detailing his history of substance abuse and addiction, as well as a fairly constant struggle with depression.

On Tuesday morning, Facebook and Twitter were ablaze with comments about Robin’s death. People were sharing their favorite Williams’ jokes and movies, posting memes of him from many of his famous movie characters and linking to Youtube videos of their favorite movie moments. A comedy icon had died and no one was laughing.

By Tuesday afternoon the blog world was buzzing with reflection on Robin’s death (apparently I’m a couple days behind!). Many people began sharing their identification with Williams’ struggle with depression while others just shared heartbreak over his passing and the tragic sense of hopelessness that must have filled his last days on earth. It seemed like few people had any kind of beef with Robin, as a comedian, humanitarian or actor.

I’ve spent the last few days reading blogs, new stories and Facebook posts about this event and have reflected a lot on the sadness of his death. In doing so, I’ve had four thoughts going through my head that I want to share with you. I would love your thoughts and input to develop these even further.

First, and maybe most importantly, Robin’s death reinforces the value of every life. As a pop-culture icon, Robin Williams taking his own life carries with it a tragedy of news-worthy proportion, but it represents a story that repeats itself 110 times every day in the U.S. While his death makes more news because of his international fame, it doesn’t mean that his life was more valuable than the 16-year-old who suffocated himself because of intense bullying, the 13-year-old cheerleader who overdosed because of a naked picture of her gone viral or the 42-year-old dad who shot himself because of a lost job and the shame of telling his wife that he’d been out of work for months. Every life is valuable.

I wish all people who feel so grieved about the loss of Robin’s life, felt the same grief about the loss of every life! Created uniquely by God, humans stand distinct in the universe as carrying the marks of Image Bearers of the Almighty (Genesis 1:26-27). According to Psalm 139, that means God was intimately and personally involved in the inside-out creation of every human being ever conceived. And that means no life is made more valuable because of what it does or doesn’t do, any more than the value of a life is diminished by what it accomplishes or fails to achieve.

To be human is to be valuable.

Secondly, the tragic death of a celebrity always reminds us that people are, at their core, just people. Celebrities are not the iconic figures they represent on the stage or big screen, they are simply gifted people (in most cases) in a particular aspect of pop-culture. Something has made them popular to a large segment of the world around them, but that doesn’t remove them from their fundamental identity as part of the human race. We may try to make them more than that, but all our efforts will fail in vain regardless of the fame or “bigger than life” status that person may achieve.

Being human means being broken and having needs. Celebrity status seems to create an impossible image of someone; an image that may come from our own perception of what the perfect “us” would be like. In other words, if we could finally arrive at the perfect person, it would be the celebrity singer, actor, model or athlete that we elevate to near god-like status. But that person doesn’t exist, instead, all persons face the same reality from a sin-soaked world -- we are a broken race. A casual glance at the world around us reveals the brokenness in which we all live: you, me and sadly Robin Williams, too.

To be human is to be broken.

Thirdly, every human being longs for deep and meaningful connection. In a day and age when connection is readily available, we seem hard-pressed for intimacy and transparency. I’m always amazed when I read the story of creation in Genesis 1-2, that after God created Adam, a perfect man in a perfect world engaging with a perfect God, that our God utters these words, “It is not good for man to be alone.” In fact, it almost seems sacrilegious to imply that being close to God isn’t enough to sustain us, but it's a fact that God created us for connection, not only with Him but with our fellow man as well. And not just as a good idea, but as a necessary and fundamental component of our existence!

Today I spent a little time surfing Facebook, and I was shocked to realize how many posts were made in an attempt to make some sort of significant connection. One young lady’s post was truly a cry for help, as she begged people to engage with her thoughts or ideas. A platform that allows for unfiltered personal expression is not the same things has having intimate connection. (And no, I’m not making any judgment on the various forms of social media, I’m simply stating that mass personal exposure doesn’t expressly translate into intimate personal connection.)

To be human is to be in need in intimate connection.

Finally, as the details of Robin’s suicide surface, we must be compelled to see the people around us with new eyes. I wonder how many people noticed something was off with Robin, but chose not to reach out, or assumed that he must be fine because he is the wildly loved and successful Robin Williams? How many people do we know, do we see, do we speak to and do we pass every day who are “fine on the outside” but screaming for help on the inside? How many people reading this blog wish someone would care enough to look them in the eyes and ask, “how are you doing?” and then actually stick around for the answer?

As I’m sitting here at the airport writing this, thousands of people are marching by en route to some appointment, somewhere. Some are probably heading out to meet family, others flying to a business appointment, while still others, like me, are just trying to make it back home. Despite walking shoulder to shoulder with scores of people and making eye contact with thousands of individuals while walking the concourses at the world’s busiest airport, how many of them feel as alone as if they were they were the only person in the terminal?

To be human is to be aware of the problem.

To be super-human, however, is to do something about the problem.

Lasting change happens when people have a personal encounter with the personal God, and often, that personal encounter happens when one of God’s people embraces the Overboard Life and reaches out to someone in need. No, I’m not suggesting that every problem we face is simply resolved as a spiritual matter. Yes, I am suggesting that a relationship with God is vital to long-term health and true healing that occurs from the inside, out.

Because we are a broken people, we must find healing from the One who experienced the reality of our brokenness, without personally being broken. Jesus Christ came to experientially understand our condition, by knowing hunger and pain, heartache and loss and even betrayal and anger (Hebrews 4-7). But in His experience, He never once sinned or violated God’s sacred Law. As a result, we have a compassionate God who sympathizes with us in every way, and longs to fill us with hope, love, grace, mercy and healing. That super-human filling frees us to reach out to others who need the same touch!

Will you be the one to reach out to someone desperate for help, someone who needs more than a smile and a casual “how are you doing?” Will you embrace the value of every life and ask God to help you reach out?

Go ahead and take the plunge, others are in desperate need of what you have to offer!

The 3 P's of parenting: Poop, pee and puke. All in one night.

Before you have children, you are fairly grossed out by most bodily expulsions. For example, the thought of taking a damp cloth and wiping someone’s nasty little rear end is mostly disgusting. The thought of doing that five or six times a day is positively repulsive. What about pants that were peed on through the diaper that was advertised as being able to hold the entire contents of a whale’s bladder? Yeah, you touch those too, and yeah, no matter how careful you are, you touch a wet spot or two. Or three. And finally, the puked on shirt. It’s a miracle when the puke is only on the baby’s shirt! That’s almost reason to rejoice, mainly because that never happens. Babies are actually genetically engineered by God, to puke only when in close proximity to your cleanest garments.  

Ahhhhhh, parenthood.

If you’ve been blessed with children, you know you wouldn’t give your child back for all the money in the world! No amount of disgusting clean up could ever change how much you love your child. In fact, to the contrary, your capacity to take care of your child in their mess speaks volumes of your love.

When AJ was less than a year old, he was sleeping in his “big-boy” bed, and doing pretty well. One night, Traci and I tucked him into bed, and a couple of hours after we went to sleep, I was awakened by his cries for mommy and daddy. I told Traci that I’d take this one, so I got up and headed into his room. I was not prepared for the ambush that awaited me.

My little 12-month-old boy was sitting up, having just thrown up his latest meal. The room reeked of vomit...and what was that other sweet odor? Oh yes, he had clearly pooped in his pajamas, too. He did not look good, he was crying out and holding up his hands, begging for someone to pick him up. I just laughed. I told him when he got himself all cleaned up, I’d be glad to hold him, and then I went back to bed. “That little baby can take care of himself” I said to Traci as I lulled myself back to sleep.

Not really.

Instead, I called for backup and then I moved in and picked up my sweet little sprinkler head. He began to projectile vomit all over the room as I held him and tried to comfort him. Traci came in and almost dry heaved (she was pregnant) at the smell, but she didn’t have the joy of feeling the warm sensation I was feeling on my arm as AJ was emptying his bowels and bladder onto my shirt. The little flu bug he had was hitting our city hard, and later we learned that children were experiencing “severe reactions including diarrhea, violent vomiting” and, apparently, “total loss of bladder control.” I felt like AJ’s personal toilet.

We finally confined his projections to a blanket, he stopped firing, and ultimately calmed down. We washed him up in the bathroom, dried him off and like most traumatic events in a child’s life, he went to sleep and forgot all about it, while Traci and I spent the next hour cleaning up his room. We used an entire spray bottle of F’breeze, excessive amounts of carpet cleaner and went through five or six towels getting everything soaked up out of the carpet. I started the nastiest load of laundry I’ve ever done in my life. It was well past the middle-of-the-night when we finished cleaning up.

When we were done, Traci headed back to bed and I went in and checked on AJ one more time. As I sat there thinking about him holding out his hands, begging for me to pick him up -- I kid you not -- I began to tear up. It wasn’t just the foul odor that still filled my nostrils (I should have shot a spray of F’breeze up there!) it was the reality of the moment, the clarity of what had just happened.

In the moment of distress, it didn’t even cross my mind, but as I sat there afterward it seemed so obvious. My poor son, desperate for help, crying out for someone to hold him while sitting in his personal filth, was me. In fact, it is you and it is anyone who has ever walked on the face of the earth, except One. We are born with a condition that makes it impossible for us to know God on our own. We’re like AJ, we have no capacity to clean ourselves up, but just like my son, when we cry out for help, God comes to us.

And here’s the thing -- God doesn’t wait for you and I to clean up before He steps in. He doesn’t say, “You’ve lived a bad life, Joe. I’d like to have a relationship with you, but you’re going to have to do more to make me happy; you’re going to have to clean up your messy life and then I’ll hang out with you.” Instead He comes to me in my spiritual filth and offers a clean slate. He offers to do the cleaning, He just asks me to trust and follow Him.

I don’t know where you’ve come from or where you’re living right now, but I do know this: God is eager to help you clean up. He sees you for what you are, He knows all you’ve done, He’s been watching you puke, poop and pee your spiritual pants for years, and He’s ready to take you, just as you are. And once you enter into that relationship with Him, you become a son or daughter to Him, and the relationship never ends. Just as you could never do anything to begin the relationship, there is nothing you could do to end it, either.

I’m so glad God came into my life and cleaned me up. And I don’t know where I’d be today if He had abandoned me in those moments where I chose to return to my filth. But that’s the greatness of God, and truly one of the mysteries of His ways: He doesn’t leave us. We don’t deserve Him, we could never do enough to keep Him happy and pleased with us on our own, but He still comes to us. He still chooses to live with us, to take us in and always, always, offers forgiveness, hope and healing when we need it most. Somehow, in the craziness of the ups and does of life, He delights in us and loves to call us His children. Even though we never stop messing up our pants (hopefully we just mess them up less and less as we get older!), He never stops loving us.

Do you know His love? Have you come to Him and asked for a clean shirt? You can’t clean yourself up, so quit trying. You will never impress God with your own righteousness, so quit trying religion over a relationship. Instead, turn to Him in faith. Believe that He has opened a door for you through the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and all you have to do is believe: Believe you’re stuck without Him. Believe you can’t save yourself. Believe that Jesus paid the price you couldn’t. Believe that God offers it freely to you.

You can’t live the Overboard Life without Jesus. He makes life on the water possible and remarkable!

30 down, 10 to go.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Take 3

Have you ever thought of the benefits of knowing God? I know, seems almost disrespectful to say there are “benefits” to being a child of God, like it’s wrong that we should get anything out of it. After all, we sinned, we broke the rules, Jesus had to die for us…why should we gain anything else out of that deal? We shouldn’t, but that’s part of what makes God’s love so amazing.

As you get going into your day today, take these three simple thoughts with you, all from Psalm 103:

David writes, “Praise the Lord, O my Soul, and forget not all his benefits:

[God] forgives all your sins (103:3): (spiritual healing)

Do I need to say anything else to this? Nothing you have done, or will do, could ever put you in a position to be unforgiven by God. He forgives murderers, rapists, drunks, crack heads, angry fathers, abusive mothers, rebellious children, road ragers, thieves, liars, adulterers and sex addicts. He forgives the humble and the arrogant, He forgives the heart breaker and vengeful. Anyone who calls out for forgiveness, will be forgiven by God. It is an awesome benefit of being one of His children.

[God] heals all of your diseases (103:3): (physical healing)

Not only is God able to meet all of our spiritual needs, He is able to meet all of our physical needs as well. In the Western world, we are so blessed by accessible medicine and medical advancements, but often we forget that the Great Healer needs neither. I’m all for medical breakthroughs and the appropriate use of medicine in the treatment of disease and physical illness. But even more, I’m grateful for a God who is able to heal completely. He doesn’t do partial healings. While He may choose to allow an illness to continue -- for reasons greater than I could ever fathom -- He isn’t limited any way, by any sickness. Even when I seek medical attention, I still call out to Him for divine intervention because it is a great benefit of knowing God!

[God] redeems my life from the pit (103:4): (emotional healing)

God meets my spiritual needs. God can meet my physical needs. But the benefit of knowing God goes another step -- He can redeem me from the emotional mess I often find myself in. God can lift the spirits of the depressed, mend the wound of a broken heart, bring peace where there is anxiety, strengthen faith where there is fear and He can rescue the lost wanderer. God loves His children and loves to reach into the mire of our heartache in order to bring healing and restoration.

Do you need to be forgiven today? Is your body in need of the Great Healer? Are you living in the pit right now, desperate for a way out? Go to the Lord today, and trust that He is able to come to your aid. Trust that He has not abandoned you, nor will He ever. Be encouraged, if you are a child of God, there are great benefits to knowing Him, you just have to step out in faith and trust His provision for your life.

Go ahead and take that plunge, life is always better on the water!