When a season ends on your favorite show

Over the years, Traci and I have found a few shows that we’ve really enjoyed. You know, the kind of programs that keep you coming back week after week to see what happens next. Or, in the case of Netflix, DVD or Amazon Prime, the kind of show you binge watch over the weekend. (Here’s a funny little skit from Portlandia about what happens when you get sucked into binge-watching a show.) What makes a show so appealing? For our tastes, a series we enjoy has good drama, strong character development, unexpected plot twists, surprise guest appearances, shocking revelations and unexpected deliverances. As I was thinking about the qualities of a good season of a TV show, I began to realize that those same attributes have contributed to our story this past “season.” Season One is coming to an end, and season two is about to begin.

Drama: We always tell our daughter Bethany that we want to avoid unnecessary drama. She, on the other hand, loves drama. In fact one night, not too long ago, she and I were talking about some drama at school and before I could say anything she said, “You know what dad...I really love drama with people!”

What BJ loves about drama is the meaningful interactions with others that are full of emotions, sometimes raw, sometimes boisterous, always expressed. She loves the intensity of the moment and God has wired her to experience life to the fullest. She grieves fully. She laughs whole-heartedly. She feels intensely. She expresses without hindrance.

Since January (even before), we have experienced a wide range of drama in our lives. We have wept together as a family. We have rested and experienced joy together. We have laughed, we have sang, we have prayed and we have grieved and through it all, we have felt the cycles of emotions. This season of life has had a lot of drama!

Character Development: Over the past 10 months, we have definitely found ourselves in the crucible of character development. I can say without hesitation that I’ve searched my heart more, probed my motives deeper and spent more time unpacking my heartache with others in the past 10 months, than I have in any other period of time in my life. There has been a lot of hurt, a lot of processing and a great deal of growth that has taken place and I know that more is still to come. Traci and I are not the same people we were on January 16th.

Unexpected Plot Twists: The past season has been full of unexpected plot twists, too. On January 16th my job ended abruptly. On March 12th, we began a tour of houses, that included sleeping in over 30 different locations. When June 19th rolled around, Traci took off on a mission trip to Thailand to gain first-hand experience into human trafficking, and I -- and the three kids -- started of an 11,000 mile road trip. Traci eventually joined up with us, and the trip gave us opportunity to speak to dozens of people and families about Overboard Ministries.

When we returned to Michigan, we returned to unknown answers to big life questions: Where are we going to live? How will we make ends meet? Where will our children go to school? Literally, when we left Wisconsin on Saturday August 8th, we didn’t know where we were going to be spending the night when we arrived in Michigan. Yeah...there were some big plot twists.

Surprise Guest Appearances: In a recent blog, I called out a number of special guests who showed up big time in our first season of Overboard. The list is long and diverse, and yet God used each guest appearance to encourage us on the journey and keeping us moving forward in the Overboard Life.

We had friends provide food and shelter. We had friends give us special gifts and financial blessings. We saw God use others to put gas in the tank, provide back-to-school clothes and supplies, give our family unique memories, spoil us with special outings and lavish us with prayers and grace. The end-of-show credits for this season of our life will take hours to scroll by! The end-of-show credits just featuring our families would be hours long!

Shocking Revelations: When you experience a sudden U-turn in life, you see shocking revelations all around you. We experienced revelations in our lives (things we liked and things we didn’t!), as well as revelations in the lives of others. We saw things revealed in the the way others interacted with us, as well as a new understanding into the lives of others. I saw some ways I missed the heartache of some dear friends (because now I had a personal understanding of their previous experience) and we understood the harshness of others as we healed from open wounds.

Unexpected Deliverances: I was watching one of my favorite shows recently, while I was folding 3 tons of laundry. (yes, it was 6,000 lbs of laundry!) There was a moment I held a shirt in mid-air as I watched a suspenseful scene play out. The hero was a goner for sure, pinned down in a science lab with no way out. As he prepared to make his last stand while trying to save the one person he came to help, a last-second appearance by a friend allowed busted him out of his predicament and out to freedom.

I can’t tell you how many times God sent someone, at just the last second, to bust us out of a predicament and into His freedom. Like the time...Three days after I was released from my job, Traci and I were sitting at the table talking about upcoming bills. She was looking at the banking book, and I was contemplating a life as a crime boss in Lake Ann, Michigan. I asked her how much we needed and she replied, “$600.00 would take care of it.”

We sat there for about 10 more minutes when Traci said, “There’s someone in the driveway. It’s a car I don’t recognize.” Moments later, our friend John was knocking at the kitchen door. We had only known John for the 22 months we had lived in Michigan. I wouldn’t say we knew him super well, though we certainly considered him and his family friends. I had visited with him on several occasions, but this house visit was most unexpected.

John came in, gave me a big hug and expressed his condolences over my job loss. He then shared a story about a work God had put on his heart to do several months prior, but how the thing had kind of fizzled out. Perplexed, he stopped and waited for God’s leading. The day before he came to our house, he heard what happened to us, then he knew how to finish the task he started months before. So there he was on Monday, telling us this story. He concluded, and almost as quickly as he showed up, he prayed with us, shook my hand, and then left the house asking us not to share a word about this story.

When I opened my hands after he left, I pulled out -- you guessed it -- $600.00 in cash. The exact amount that Traci, just ten minutes earlier, had said we needed. This is one story in a hundred (or more!) that illustrates how dramatically some of our needs were met in the most unexpected ways. And don’t worry, I didn’t break my word with John. Since he unexpectedly left this life to join God in the next, I figured I’m free to share, yet another story, of how this man blessed the people around him.

In conclusion... The point of all this? In the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Donald Miller asserts that the qualities that make a movie great, are the same qualities that make a life great. In the same vein, the qualities that make a TV series worth watching week after week, are maybe the same qualities that make a life worth living. A good TV series changes pace, allows characters to develop, keeps you on your toes with new insights, provides lots of good drama and last minute rescues, and makes you smile (or cringe!) when special guests show up.

Don’t forget the most important ingredient of a great series at any season in life: make sure it all points back to God. I certainly wouldn’t boast that we’ve done that flawlessly during this season of our lives, but even when we’ve fallen off the trail or stumbled along the way, we’ve always tried to get back on track. It helps to have great co-stars on the journey with us, people who have repeatedly pointed back to Christ when we’ve lost our way.

So if you feel your life is like a dramatic, gut-wrenching TV series that gives you the sensation of riding on a roller coaster with all of its ups and downs, you might be precisely where you need to be in God’s plan! The drama, unexpected plot twists, surprise guest appearances complete with shocking revelations, unexpected deliverances and deep character development is part of God’s way of making you who He wants you to be, so that you are ready to do what He wants you to do!

And don’t forget to take a look around at others who might be participating in a great season of drama -- your guest appearance in their story might be the way God provides an unexpected deliverance for them!

Go ahead and take the plunge, your season will be better on the water.

One more Red Cup blog!

My friend Jodie recently posted this on Facebook: “If anyone will design an app that will block red cup stories from showing up on my feed, I will be their first customer!” Bummer too, because I think she would have liked this Red Cup blog post. But I get where she’s coming from, after all, Red Cup reactions and blog posts are showing up like unwanted guests at the holidays. So here’s one more unwanted holiday guest for you to smile at, while trying to be gracious and not say anything regrettable. Good luck.

As far as I can tell, there really seems to just be one video that set this topic ablaze over the past week. Like much of what we react (or overreact) to, one person throws out an idea, a strong opinion or a few “facts” and people brazenly, and passionately take sides. Personally, I think we’re so fired up over the pre-election process that opinions and ideologies about everything are just stronger and closer to the surface than usual. And the thing we all love and hate about social media, is the speed at which ideas and news can spread, and this one has spread far and wide.

If you’ve been on a social media fast the past seven days, you’ve missed the fun. In summary: A man (pastor?) was upset that Starbucks removed “Merry Christmas” from their holiday coffee cups, replacing them with a plain red cup with the company’s logo. He challenged people, that when a barista asks their name (to write on the cup for their order) that people should respond with, “Merry Christmas” so that each Starbucks store will be shouting Merry Christmas multiple times a day.

I’ve seen hundreds (literally!) of responses to this. I’ve seen videos people posted of their “Merry Christmas” trickery in coffee shops around America, and I’ve seen the head-shaking of others who are stunned by this outrage. Some call it a war on the Christ of Christmas, and others wonder why a secular business is being harassed for not celebrating Christmas. One man posted, “boycott Starbucks for their hatred of Christians” and another man posted, “Just drink your coffee and shut up!”

This issue has brought to the surface a few thoughts I’ve had about the Overboard Life in the context of culture. Here are a few ways that I’m processing this event with principles that go way beyond whether or not Starbucks helps me celebrate Christmas.

1. I’ve never heard anyone begin their Jesus story with, “I saw Merry Christmas written on my coffee cup and wondered, ‘who is this Jesus that came and died for me?’” Look, I’m not saying it couldn’t happen, I’m just saying that in 20 years of full-time Christian service, I have never once heard anyone start their testimony with those words (or anything close to it!). A few years ago Lowes Home Improvement was under the wrath of the Christian community for celebrating the holidays instead of Christmas, and ditto...I never once heard of a person coming to Christ because of seeing a “Christmas Tree” in a Lowes catalog, instead of a “Holiday Tree.” Let’s remember that keeping Christ in Christmas has nothing to do with how secular businesses advertise sales for our consumer-hungry culture, but has everything to do with how we show Him to others. Keeping Christ in Christmas should be more about how we treat and respect our baristas, and less about what words are written on our favorite coffee cups. Keeping Christ in Christmas should be more about how we choose not to indulge in pure consumerism, but rather, how we choose to give generously to others and celebrate the greatest gift in history -- God sending His only Son that He might become the ultimate payment for our sins.
2. Merry Christmas doesn’t change hearts even if it makes yours merrier. I love a hearty “Merry Christmas” as much as the next guy. Believe me, I’m not a “Happy Holidays” kind of person, because to me, what makes the holidays happy is that there is significant meaning to them -- life-changing meaning to those who have met the Savior we celebrate. Sometimes I think we fall prey to the idea that if everything said “Merry Christmas” on it, life would be significantly better. But Merry Christmas has never changed a life, any more than moral laws and regulations can change lives. I know in American culture it’s easy to look back at the good ol’ days of a country that reflected traditional Christian values, but those morals didn’t change hearts! Just because a culture embraces a Christian ethic doesn’t mean the citizens are more Christian. In fact, I firmly believe it’s easier to hide in that kind of culture, to go along with the moral crowd while harboring nothing that resembles life-giving faith and belief in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.
3. In some ways, I think a non Merry Christmas culture gives a chance to truly stand out. For so long it’s actually been relatively cool to be Christian, or at least, to represent convenient Christian values. Almost every politician, including our most recent president and presidential candidates, have tried to cater, at some level, to mainstream Christianity. That’s changing and I think it’s good for those truly living the life of faith, truly living the Overboard Life. The opportunity in America to stand out because of a different life-style, one governed by an unchanging truth and centered on an undead Savior, is greater than ever before. The previous generation stood strong against much of the cultural shifts (and in many cases, for good reason), but today, we have a chance to be for the truth that sets people free. That movement for something will entrench us clearly against a culture where we are no longer the “moral majority,” without us having to utter a single word of opposition. By being for strengthening traditional marriage, ending the plight of the starving orphan and rescuing people from the darkness of pornography and sex-trafficking, the culture will know we stand with Scripture on the issues of homosexuality, poverty, slavery, and sexual values. Our “for” values will strongly imply our “against” values without having to speak a word of opposition; we will stand out in this culture that believes it's normal to discard fetuses, marriages and God-designed sexuality and considers it strange that we don't!
4. The Gospel must be central or our Merry Christmas is meaningless. I’m afraid that a lot of church-goers who are fiery hot about this Merry Christmas issue, reflect little of the Gospel in other parts of their lives. By hash-tagging Merry Christmas they try to make a statement with a tweet or post, or with strong words of “I’m taking my business elsewhere” in an online comment on a company’s Facebook page. Yet after they trick a barista in to saying, “Merry Christmas” they pull out of the parking lot and scream at a driver who cuts them off in traffic or they overspend on life’s luxuries and have nothing left with which to help the widows and orphans in their community or around the world. They view pornography on the privacy of their phones, they raise busy kids who have little time for the Lord, they cut corners at work, lie to their spouses, drown life’s troubles in consumption or they move from relationship to relationship, marriage to marriage, in an attempt to escape life’s emptiness. I don’t care about your Merry Christmas if it’s void of the Gospel, and you shouldn’t care about mine if my life doesn’t reflect the eternal change provided by the Jesus of this holiday. The Gospel must be central in our lives, influencing us everywhere: in our interactions at coffee shops, in the car when we’re in traffic, at home when we’re alone, in our families, in our singleness, in our politics, in our churches, in our communities, in our blog posts, in our study of the Word, in our work to bring justice and water and food to the oppressed, and in living out the truth of a life changed by Christ.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for Merry Christmas, and I’m for moral laws and for promoting a strong Christian ethic in our homes, churches, schools, sports teams, communities and country. History has shown us, however,  that those things don’t change hearts. But if we win the war for the hearts of the lost, we will gain these other matters, too! Russell Moore writes, “The heated and outraged rhetoric of evangelicals in the political and media spheres is often directly related to the ineffectuality of Christian distinctiveness in our living rooms and pews.” In other words, we’re not bringing the Gospel into our homes and churches, so why would we expect the culture around us to embrace the Christ of Christmas?

“Merry Christmas” will not be influencing my holiday joy this year, because the Gospel has already won the day. May your Christmas be fixed on Him, too, so that even your Red Cup barista knows you belong to Jesus.

Go ahead and take the plunge, even your Christmas is better on the water!

The view from 950'

I have always loved roller coasters. There is something thrilling about that initial climb to several hundred feet above the ground, followed by the screaming terror of zipping around the track at insane speeds trying to keep your lunch down. It’s an awesome experience and one that I’ve always enjoyed. The first time I rode a real roller coaster I was in high school. My friend Paul and I had made the 12-hour trek from Salem to L.A. in order to hit one of the great ride parks in our country, Six Flags over Magic Mountain. After one run on The Demon, I was hooked! The adrenaline, the heart-pounding loops and corkscrews, the sudden stop at the end and the awesome feeling of near-flight had me coming back again and again!

There’s something cool about getting to the top of each coaster, when you get a grand view of the park. From the top of a coaster, you can see all the other rides, you can see the long lines people are standing in and you can see the people beneath you who are eager to hear you scream. Being on top of the coaster gives you a view of the whole park that is unmatched!

A while back, my wife and I spent the day in Chicago. Now that we live in a town that’s about the same size as the neighborhood we moved out of when we left Salem, I especially enjoy the trips we get to make to the big city. Traverse City is a nice, quaint little town, but sometimes I just need to be around buildings taller than five stories!

Over the past year, I’ve spent a bit more time in Chicago than my wife, but I’m still getting to know the lay of the land. So when my pastor told me we could grab a reasonably priced lunch on the 95th floor of the John Hancock Center, I totally jumped at the chance. And sure enough, for right around $15 we enjoyed a delicious lunch with an amazing view!

It was funny being on top of all the buildings we had just been driving around minutes before. From the ground, all the nearby sky scrapers stand so tall, and it’s crazy to not be able to see a 30-story building because it’s sitting behind a 40-story building! Or sometimes, when we were on the ground we tried to get our bearings by looking for one of the recognizable sky scrapers, but even then, the Trump Tower (1,362 feet), the Willis Tower (aka: Sears Tower, 1,451 feet) and the John Hancock Center (1,127 feet) can be blocked out by buildings 1/3 as tall.

When we finally arrived at the lunch lounge on the 95th floor of the John Hancock Center, we had such a view of the previously confusing and somewhat daunting landscape. From 950’ above the ground, we had a much better perspective. We could see the roads we had just driven on, we could see the park we had been taking pictures at earlier in the day and we could even see the construction that caused somer serious travel confusion a few minutes earlier. A change of perspective, changed everything.

So often you and I are living at ground level, and everything can seem big and confusing. We’re trying to turn right, but a one-way street prevents a turn. We try to move through traffic, but a construction project or a recent accident sends us on a wild detour. We’re trying to catch some sun or a gentle breeze, but a giant building blocks the heat or prevents the breeze from reaching our location. We try to see what’s ahead, but all the nearby buildings make any kind of view, impossible. From the ground, life can be very challenging.

That’s when we need a perspective change.

In Jeremiah God says to the people of Israel, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Israel was in the middle of some pretty severe punishment because of the way they had turned their backs on God. For Jeremiah and the few others that were trying to follow God, the view was bleak. Other nations were taking advantage of the Jews, the Israelites were under heavy tax burdens and their children were being taken into slavery. From the ground, everything seemed hopeless.

But God doesn’t live on the ground! From God’s perspective, He had plans for Israel and Jeremiah just needed to be reminded that God was working out a different outcome for His children. God’s plans were almost impossible to see from inside the walls of Jerusalem; but they were impossible to miss from the Throne Room of Heaven.

The Overboard Life demands a 950’ perspective -- one we don’t always have! So how do we get it? We get our perspective by trusting the One who already has it. Our perspective comes from faith, not from trying to figure it all out by ourselves.

When Peter climbed out of the boat in Matthew 14, he was only seeing the wind and the waves, the boat and the other disciples. Jesus, however, was seeing all of that, plus He was seeing Peter as the leader of the church in Acts, He was seeing Peter be the first Apostle to take the Gospel to the Gentiles and He was seeing Peter lead this ragamuffin group of disciples after Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection. He had a 950’ perspective. So when Peter lost his faith and started sinking, Jesus rescued Him and said, “Why did you doubt?” He wasn’t just talking about the water, He was giving Peter a lesson for the future, too.

In the middle of the storm, you and I don’t have a very good perspective, so we must trust the One who sees it all. It seems that God rarely lets us have the full 950’ view ourselves, but He asks us to follow His lead, and we can be certain He knows where He is going, and where He is taking us. Experiencing hardships with a child? Walking through unexpected job changes? Are you enduring a painful health condition? Have you experienced some deep loss, a tough move or a broken relationship? Maybe it feels like you’re going through all of the above at once?

It’s in those moments you can trust God’s hand, because you know He sees it all. He already knows how He plans to use this in your life. He already knows the character that’s forming in you so you will be more of who He wants you to be, so you can do more of what He wants you to do. God always has the 950’ view, and when you learn to trust Him when you need that view most, you’ll be well on your way to living the Overboard Life!

Go ahead and take the plunge, your perspective is always better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make (8/10)

I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. Looking for missed posts, click here: Mistake #1, Mistake #2, Mistake #3, Mistake #4, Mistake #5, Mistake #6, Mistake #7).

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Mistake #8: Missing the clues of corporate culture

Hans defines corporate culture as “the way insiders behave based on the values and group traditions they hold.” In other words, the changes (some subtle, some not-so-much) you and your spouse, or you and your roommate, made in order to live in the same house without wanting to beat each other senseless...is learning to live within a corporate culture.

As you look around at your life, you are probably part of several cultures, many without you even being aware! Sports team parent? Definitely a soccer mom culture! Married? Definitely bringing two family cultures together into one (and creating a third culture in your own family!). Are you employed? Then you know there is a culture at your office! Do you attend church? Then you definitely know about organizational culture! Every town, every state, every region has a culture and we learn to live and work and build relationships based on what those cultures value.

Finzel points out that culture is at the heart of success for a business (and I would say for a relationship, family or ministry!) and that top performing companies have “strong cultures [that] support the mission, goals, and strategy of the organization.” For believers, our culture should promote excellence in every aspect of our lives, living out 1 Corinthians 10:31 and Colossians 3:17. Those verses remind us to do everything to the glory of God, even mundane every-day-tasks like eating, drinking and speaking should be done with our very best effort!

When it comes to leading people, a good leader seeks to learn the culture of his environment, and then operates and strengthens the organization from within that culture. When cultural shifts need to be made, a good leader has done her homework to understand the existing culture, and makes careful, calculated moves before instituting changes.

The culture of your family or ministry or business, can be discovered by exploring the non-negotiable beliefs that drive it. Everyone has preferences that come and go, sometimes connected to a particular person, sometimes a particular trend or the latest book, but those preferences won’t help your organization sink or swim. The values under those preferences, the do-or-die beliefs that drive the organization, those are the items that define your culture.

Some churches value, not changing. Whether it’s expressed or not, the leaders of this particular type of church are always suspicious of change, and typically like the “old way” of doing things. Some businesses value quality over quantity, and others mass-produce parts and value production numbers over anything else. Some families value a tight-knit unit with very little outside influence, others open the house doors wide for anyone or anything to enter! Some dads value their work over their families. Some moms put their children first, even above their spouse. All of these beliefs represent the underlying culture of a particular group of people.

A good leader seeks to understand that decisions her organization is making, come from these underlying core beliefs. Finzel (quoting Joules and Posner) writes, “Leaders who understand their own value, and can articulate them well to their organization, have proven to show superior performance in their roles.” Here are six benefits to leaders who learn to embrace an organization’s culture:

1. Strong feelings of personal effectiveness
2. Promotes high levels of company loyalty
3. Facilitates consensus about key organizational goals
4. Encourages ethical behavior
5. Reduces levels of job stress
6. Promotes strong norms about caring and working hard

(From the book: The Leadership Challenge)

When leaders don’t learn their organization’s culture, they create conformers (just do what you must to survive), complainers (completes work without enjoying it, and impacts other employees with negativity), Innovators (let’s change things!), ritualists (going through the motions), retreatists (running away from every situation) and rebels (angry non-conformists).

Good leaders spend time learning the culture, embracing the culture that promotes the vision and goals of the organization and carefully changing the parts of culture that need adjustment. If you’re leading an organization and running into constant conflict, check out chapter eight of Hans’ book for some great tips about understanding the culture.

Go ahead and take the plunge, your leadership will be better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make (9/10)

Why it can be good to wait

Waiting can be so hard. Waiting can feel like lost time, lost opportunity and for some, can even feel unspiritual! People from the outside can view your waiting as laziness, and people closest to you can sometimes mistake your waiting as fear or anxiety. Sometimes, however, waiting can be very good. I’ve been thinking a lot about waiting, lately. It seems like God has us in a waiting game, hanging out to see what He reveals for us next. Without question, I get a little frustrated while I’m waiting, but I am learning to trust that waiting is, itself, part of God’s process for our lives.

This morning, as I was driving in to work, I came up on this intersection on a backroad near the church where I’m serving as interim youth pastor. In the past month of taking this road, I have never seen another car at this intersection that features stop signs for east and westbound traffic, but not for north or southbound vehicles.

I was driving northbound (no stop sign) preparing to turn left. There was a car stopped on my right (preparing to turn south) and a vehicle driving southbound (coming towards me) down a hill, moving at a good clip. I turned on my blinker and waited just outside the intersection so that the southbound car could pass me, then I could make my left hand turn toward the office.

However, the gentleman to my right, did not see the vehicle coming down the hill from his right, and you could tell he was visibly confused and frustrated by the fact that I was not making my left-hand turn (he may have assumed I thought I was at a 4-way stop). He began edging out into the intersection, as though he was going to turn left in front of me, as he remained totally unaware of the vehicle cruising down the hill towards us both.

As he was about to make his move, I edged further into the intersection to “block” his path, when the car driving south flew through the intersection (probably doing 55-60) and startled him completely. At that point, I think he realized that had he darted around me, there would have been a three car collision and he would have been responsible for damages, injuries or maybe even someone’s death.

Waiting was a good thing.

For me, I think I’ve too often confused waiting with stalling, or waiting with doing nothing, when in fact, waiting should be a very active process. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned while waiting:

1. Rest while you wait. I remember when Traci and I were waiting for AJ to be born. Traci’s water broke at 1:30am, and by 10:30am progress was slow and painful. The doctor gave her an epidural and then we were waiting (AJ wasn’t born for another six hours!). While we waited, I remember the doctor telling Traci, “Rest while you can. When it’s time, you will need all your strength and energy to birth your child.” With the help of the pain meds, Traci slept for over an hour, and then she rested and napped, in and out, for the better part of a second hour. Later, when it was go time, she was ready. Use your waiting time as opportunity to rest.
2. Focus on habits while you wait. Waiting can be an excuse for laziness or wandering around like a lost man, but it should be an active season of preparing for whatever is next. Waiting is the perfect time to refine the habits we need when the waiting period is over.
3. Grow while you wait. Not only can we firm up our important daily habits, but waiting is also a time to pursue personal growth through education, reading, traveling or through being mentored or coached. Don’t waste your waiting time by constantly checking the front window to see if your new opportunity has arrived. Use the extra time in your schedule to learn a language, develop a new skill or deepen your knowledge/expertise in an area in which you are already strong. Let waiting time grow you!
4. Confirm/reestablish priorities while you wait. Often, in the grind of day-to-day living, we can lose sight of our most important priorities. We can allow bad habits that distract us from what’s most important (God, marriage, family, ministry to others etc...) and find we are too disproportionately focused on lesser things (money, bills, job etc...). During seasons of waiting, it’s good to confirm or realign your priorities, so that when the waiting is over, you are engaged in the things that matter mostt.
5. Review your dreams while you wait. You know those goals, dreams and lofty plans that have been sitting on the shelf for a little while? Waiting periods are great opportunities to pull them done, dust them off, and get them worked back into your plans. It’s easy to have big dreams that fall casualty to the ebb and flow of life, and when God slows things down during a time of waiting, use those moments to reflect on the dreams that used to drive you!

Waiting is rarely a fun or easy experience to navigate. However, as I’ve learned, the waiting process can be super productive in preparing you for what is on the other side of the wait. You may even find out that God was protecting you from a massive collision (like the driver in my car story), one that could have permanently derailed you and your work for the Lord.

I’m learning to wait, better, because sometimes, waiting can be very good!

Go ahead and take the plunge, even waiting is better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make (6/10)

I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. Looking for missed posts, click here: Mistake #1, Mistake #2, Mistake #3, Mistake #4, Mistake #5)

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Mistake #6: Dirty Delegation

I’m convinced that there are few more defeating mistakes made by leaders, than the mistake of dirty delegation. A top-down leader can dominate followers into frustration. A paperwork leader elevates task over people. A non-affirming leader has followers that aren’t sure if they are valued. A leader who rejects Mavericks has a team that is constantly stuck. A dictator robs his team or family of their creative freedom. And a dirty delegator creates a defeated, broken-spirited, culture.

What is dirty delegation? It’s the not-so-fine art of giving projects to personnel, only to add someone to the team, or invite someone else to do the same project, without communicating your intent. It’s asking a team member to work on a project, then outsourcing it to someone else or bringing in outside eyes to evaluate without communicating your actions. Top-down leaders and dictators can easily fall into the trap of dirty delegation...along with anyone else who has ever led a team.

Why? Because delegation is hard for many leaders! Maybe you relate to one of these fears about delegation?

1. Fear of losing authority
2. Concern for the quality of work (no one can do it as well as you, right?)
3. Fear of work being done better (uh-oh...someone else might do your job better than you!)
4. Unwillingness to take the time
5. Too disorganize to even give necessary details about the area needing delegation
6. Lack of leadership training or other positive delegation experiences
7. Fear of losing value within the organization

Theodore Roosevelt said, “The best executive is the one who has the sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” Dirty delegators usually push the good men and women away from their group because they lack the self-restraint to allow them to produce. Good leaders recognize the delegation allows for personal ownership and investment, and this is crucial for: happiness in the home or workplace; inspiration for creative new ideas; freedom for personal expression and the opportunity to learn from mistakes.

Kaleo Korner (By Justin VanRheene, founder of Kaleo Media)

I’ve had jobs and have watched friends be employed in places that have managers that succumb to the fears above. Its very frustrating. Here are a few ways I’ve seen help bringing clarity, and empowering productivity.

Start with why. One principle I start with on all new clients is, start with why? Having a clear understanding of the big idea will help bring freedom to employees as you begin going after the four parts of delegation that Finzel states: assignment, authority, accountability, and affirmation.

“Because I said so?” As a parent, coach, teacher, etc. I’m sure you’ve said, or wanted to say, when questioned about a project, assignment, or task, “Because I said so!” Being in a position of authority, that seems like a great thing to say because you’re the boss. There is an older volunteer I work with at my church, who said one time, “Has that ever worked?” I’m not sure it has but I’m in my 30s and I heard it when I was a kid.

But so many of the things we’ll be involved in as a leader demand more than a “because I said so.” They require vision. And believe it or not, those who struggle with dirty delegation, don’t have a vision for their organization. In many situations, their identity is their organization and to leave their reputation in the hands of someone else is just not possible.

If anyone had the right to over-manage, it was Jesus. If anyone was confident he could do a job better, it was Jesus! And yet, as His ministry progressed, He began to release more and more opportunities for His disciples! On one occasion in the Gospel, he sent out 72 disciples to spread the Good News all over Israel, and He gave them power and authority to do miracles, to heal sick people, to cast out demonic spirits and to put a blessing (or curse!) on the towns they entered (Luke 10:1-24). Jesus delegate real opportunity, real authority and gave his followers a chance to experience the joy of ministry (10:17, 10:21).

Han says there are four parts to real delegation: Assignment, authority, accountability and affirmation. These four parts answer the main questions most followers have. What am I supposed to do? An assignment answers the question that is tops on most children, team mates, employees, managers or coaches, the question about activity. What is my job?

Once they know the “what”, they want to know if they will have the freedom and authority to execute that task: Will you let me do it? If you assign the brand redesign to an employee, but don’t provide the time or financial resources to accomplish the task, they will fail. Do they have the authority to do the task? The next question is, Will you help me when I need it? It’s the question of accountability and follow up: will you help them through the process and check on their progress along the way?

Finally, the fourth question employees ask is, Will you let me know how I’m doing? Every follower wants to know that their work is valuable, helpful and contributing to the overall goal! Does the word affirmation mean anything to you (Mistake #3)??

Of course, every follower has a different capacity for delegation. Not all followers can handle, or even desire, stand alone work. Some players are just more efficient, effective and happy when working under closer supervision. Others want a long leash and only occasional check-ins. Learning how each of your team members works is crucial, and honestly, it’s why many leaders don’t delegate. The work of learning who your team members operate, is sometimes harder than the work of releasing the labor!

I love the list Finzel ends the chapter with, giving 9 guidelines for clean delegation:

1. Choose qualified people
2. Exhibit confidence in your team
3. Clarify duties
4. Delegate proper authority for the work
5. Avoid telling them how to do the work you’ve just given them
6. Set up accountability points throughout the project
7. Supervise according to their work style
8. Give room for mistakes
9. Give praise and credit for work well done

Delegation can be challenging, but if you want to multiply your effectiveness and influence, it’s a skill worth mastering.

So go ahead and take the plunge, your leadership will be better on the water!

Joe Castaneda

Mistakes leaders make, 7/10

Special thanks to Justin VanRheenen, friend and founder of Kaleo Media. If you want to increase your online presence, or improve your social media content and skills, contact Justin and learn from him!

A sappy birthday blog for my wife

Today, my beloved wife turns 43 years old. We have celebrated 19 of those years married, and 8 before that while we were dating. So 27 times I’ve Happy Birthdayed her, as a boyfriend, fiancé or husband. 43 isn’t one of those “milestone” birthdays, so it seems easy to sweep 43 under the carpet. I decided to make it a bigger deal by celebrating her birthday all week, and by writing this post to give you 43 reasons why I’m still crazy in love with my wife. Prepare to gag over the mushiness of this. Feel free to steal any of these words that you can use (however, do change the name “Traci” to the appropriate name in your situation) in your own relationships and of course, remember to bless the people in your life that have such meaning to you!

1. She experiences pure joy in Jesus. Traci knows her center for life is not me, not the kids and not her work...it’s in her relationship with Christ. And she always goes back to that place in the craziness of life.
2. She is fiercely loyal. Loyalty and commitment are deeply ingrained in Traci, and as a friend, lover, business owner and mom, she is loyal with those to whom she connects deeply.
3. She is full of laughter. My wife laughs a lot, and she brings a lot of laughter into our lives.

4. 

   She is a tad crazy. Traci has this fun and spontaneous side to her, and it creates great moments in our lives.

5. She understands our daughters. Cute little girls grow up to be teenage daughters who have complicated emotional lives, that complicate significantly around age 12. Traci gets it. (hallelujah...standing ovation...cheers...applaud...relief!)
6. She understands our son. Not only does she mom our daughters, but she has an amazing relationship with our son, too. He turns to her for advice and inspiration, and I know she’s modeled for him the type of wife he should look for some day.
7. She is athletic. One of the first qualities that attracted me to Traci back in high school, was her ability to participate in youth group games and be better than about 1/2 the boys.
8. She inspires others: Many of you reading this blog have been inspired by Traci and her writings, by her honest struggles with life, and by her victories. People look to her as someone to imitate.
9. She inspires me: I’ve lived with her for almost 19 years and she still, regularly, pushes me to new heights and into new challenges.
10. She is full of tears: I love that my wife is free with her emotions, and ok to cry with her own pain, share tears as she feels the pain and hurt of others and as she expresses worship and praise to God.
11. She is stunningly hot: When I think back to that first glance at her, in the late 80’s, with big hair and 90’s bangs, I remember how stunned I was by her looks. 27 years later, I’m more dazzled than ever, as I’ve come to understand that her outer hotness is matched only by her inner beauty. Inside and out, she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.
12. While we’re talking about hot, let’s just assume that numbers 12-15 would not be appropriate to share publicly. So wink-wink, nod-nod, snicker-snicker...she is the inspiration behind one of my more popular blogs, “5 ways to improve your sex life.” (go ahead and click the link...no judgment here!)
13. PG-13
14. PG-13
15. R
16. She works hard. You could never use the word “lazy” to describe my wife. Ever.
17. She dreams BIG! Our life and family dreams are significantly broader and deeper than they would be if it was just me dreaming them! Traci sees the greatness of God and believes deeply in HIS ability to lead His children into great things.
18. She rarely holds anything back. My wife will step into uncomfortable situations, and is willing to give it her all, regardless of the cost or the outcome.
19. She is unwilling to not grow. My wife is always reaching out for growth, always learning from God’s Word and is eager to become more of who God made her to be. She never stops growing and learning.

    

20. She knows how to rest. I love that my wife knows how to work hard, and I love that she knows how to rest and take care of herself.
21. She loves vacation. Traci takes a B+ vacation and makes it an A+. She takes a C- vacation...and makes it an A+. She loves taking our family time and making it better. And she’s very, very, good at it.
22. She loves being surprised. My wife loves being surprised by others. I pity my friends who have a spouse that HATES surprises, and actually, if they feel surprised by a weekend away, a special gift etc... are usually more upset (at least initially) than happy at the gift. I love surprising Traci with little and big things -- it doesn’t matter! -- because she loves being surprised and makes them extra special.
23. She cooks. If you and I are ever trapped in a building, and our survival depends on my culinary skills, we are both going to die of hunger. I’m grateful for my wife’s skills in the kitchen.
24. She manages our family well. Traci is the family organizer. She keeps us running smoothly, she manages appointments, she keeps a great calendar and even in the last season of life where we were homeless and out of schedule/routine, she managed us with excellence.
25. She has an unshakeable faith. No matter how dire things can get, Traci believes in the hand of God and in His ability to bring change to any situation.
26. She runs hard. Last October we ran our first 1/2 marathon, together. It was a metaphor for our lives then (and now), and one of my take aways was seeing the relentless nature of my wife emerge. She runs hard and she refuses to give up. I love her tenacity toward goals and dreams.
27. She listens well. I love that my wife listens. Not passively, but she actively listens to people. She cares about her relationships and she listens without the need to interrupt, offer unsolicited advice or cast judgment without knowledge.
28. She is wise. My wife will frequently tell me, “I wish I knew what to say when...” Truth is, she does know what to say, and knows when to say it. She knows how to process life experiences and how to give wise advice, not just what-you-want-to-hear isms.
29. She thinks I’m funny. Seriously, she still laughs at my jokes. She still smiles when someone in our house says “wrap” and I start rapping like MC Hammer.
30. She can, on occasion, be a tad clumsy. It’s a cute clumsy and it’s hilarious when it shows up.

31. 

    She can laugh at herself. #30 has led to a number of tear-enducing moments in our marriage..the laughter kind of tears.

32. She enjoys a simple life: My wife has a simplicity about the way she lives, and I absolutely love it.
33. She is a great communicator. Traci connects with people when she speaks in a public platform. It’s not just that what she says is good (which it is!), it’s that she says it in such a way that people connect with her and her message. She makes friends in her public ministry, just because people feel like they know her after she’s done sharing. When we teach together, I always marvel at the number of people who walk away feeling like Traci is their friend because of how she communicates.
34. She looks great in anything she wears: I love that she looks great in sweat pants and a baggy sweatshirt, as well as in her little black dress or business casual outfit. She can wear jogging shorts that always make me do a double take, or she can go full tilt for a night at the Magic Castle and wow me when she walks into the room.
35. She’s not afraid of trouble. Life is full of trouble and hardship. Traci doesn’t run from any of them and she isn’t afraid to face down whatever is right in front of us.
36. She knows me, and still loves me. No human knows me better than my wife, and even with that full knowledge, she loves me fully and blesses me beyond reason.
37. She sees things from a different angle. We can read the same Bible story, we can look at the same picture, and Traci sees things that I miss. Ok, I miss a lot, so that may not be that impressive, but she sees things that almost everyone misses. She has a great perspective on life.
38. She is my biggest fan. It doesn’t matter what I’m throwing myself into, my wife believes that I will find success. No matter what the odds, no matter how many frustrating walls I’ve smacked my head against, she believes that I will find a breakthrough.

    

39. She is passionate. While this certainly would include things back up in 12-15, it also includes life outside the bedroom. Traci is passionate about what she does, who our kids are and how God is working in and through our family. She approaches life, the highs and lows, with passion. Her passion is contagious.
40. She is humble. I’ve learned a lot from Traci’s humility in life. Her humility magnifies her beauty.
41. She is talented. She’s a great public speaker. She’s a talented pianist. She’s a great cook. She’s an excellent athletic, life and business coach. I could go on, just know that she’s incredibly talented.
42. She promotes our kids. Traci promotes our kids, challenges them to grow, knows when to push and knows when to pull them in close. She is an amazing mother.
43. She invests heavily in our marriage. My wife guards our marriage, protects her own heart and emotions and happily celebrates with me, the journey we’re on.

I feel like I’m just warming up, so I guess she’ll just have to keep having birthdays so that I can keep adding to this list.

I am a blessed man, more than these words could ever express. I’m sure many of you feel the same about your families, your marriages, your friendships or about some other relationship in your life. Celebrate those people in your life, be sure to tell them how much they mean to you and my God fill you with an overflowing joy through the people closest to you.

Go ahead and take the plunge, your relationships will always be better on the water!

300

Thank you. 300 times, thank you! Thank you for your amazing support.

Thank you for friendships.

Thank you for your encouragement and willingness to walk this Overboard journey with me and my family.

Thank you for reading this blog.

In fact, 300 times you’ve come to this blog and dialed up the words and challenges put on my heart by God and His Word. Thank you for following, reading, commenting, correcting my lousy grammar and encouraging me along the way. Most of all, thank you for growing with me as Overboard Ministries is becoming a movement of people eager to live their God-designed lives of faith, out of the comfort of the boat and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom.

Over 50,000 times this blog has been read by people from 75 different countries. (I know, small potatoes for some of you bloggers, but for this boy, I’m blown away by what God has done!) 12 books have been released, with several more scheduled before year’s end. We have dozens of financial partners supporting our work each month, and nearly 100 people who pray for us regularly. The list goes on and on, and all I can say is “Thank you!”

I am humbled and grateful and can’t wait to see what God does in the next 300 blog posts.

As a way of remember the path we've traveled, here is one of my favorite blog posts (definitely t0p-5 out of 300!), dating pack to April of 2013. This was blog #102 (198 posts ago!). Enjoy.

Joe Castaneda

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Every time I watch a movie, read a story or see something about Dick and Rick Hoyt, I usually end up wiping tears from eyes. Over 950 times Dick has pushed his son Ricky in a wheel chair or pedaled him on a bike or pulled him in a canoe across race finish lines all over the U.S. Every time I think of this duo, I am reminded of what the power of a father’s love can do.

Rick Hoyt is severely disabled. And when doctors told the family to just “put him away” because he would never be more than a vegetable, the Hoyt family decided to take him home and prove doctors wrong. Take ten minutes to watch this special piece on Team Hoyt as they tell their amazing story:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36fjVFHNU48

My favorite part of the video is when Dick says, “He’s competing. I just give him my arms and legs, but he’s competing.” I am so moved by that father’s love and I am so reminded of the love of my own Heavenly Father in the same way.

I’ve often heard people use the phrase, “we are the hands and feet of Jesus” -- and in one sense it is very true. We represent Jesus in this world, and the way we walk and serve will be the best (or sometimes worst) representation of Jesus some people will ever see.

But in another very real sense, we are all like Ricky Hoyt. “Powerless” on our own, but with God as our hands and feet, we are able to compete in this life. We are able to put aside our own selfish ambition and vain conceit, we are able to serve others as we have been served, we are able to love as God loved and we are able to run our race because of God’s power in us. We aren’t gods; we are God’s.

At the end of his life, the Apostle Paul told Timothy, “I have the run the race” and he was ready to receive his reward. How did Paul run? He ran as man pushed by God. He didn’t run on his own strength, He ran with God’s! In 2 Corinthians 11:23-29, Paul lists out the trials he worked through in his life while serving God. Then, in chapter 12, he discusses a “thorn in flesh” -- some sort of extreme suffering that kept him dependent on God. And at the end of this recounting of all of his hardships Paul says this, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Paul was just admitting that he was like Ricky Hoyt. No mistaking it -- Paul was competing. But he was competing with the power of God’s arms and God’s legs, so that using God’s strength, God would be glorified in Paul’s life.

You can’t live Overboard in your own strength for very long. Let God give you the power you need to press on so, like Paul, you too can finish your race!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make (5/10)

I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role.

1. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. Looking for missed posts, click here: Mistake #1, Mistake #2, Mistake #3, Mistake #4)

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Mistake #5: Dictatorship in Decision Making

National dictatorships are great if you want a quiet, generally pretty calm and usually a very predictable life. Dictators bring a form of peace that many leaders crave. But it’s a “peace” that comes by crushing the creative spirit and by devaluing the individual. Dictatorships work because people are marginalized into a “collective.”

And dictatorships fall because individuals rise up. People tired of oppression, tired of a joyless existence and tired of having life sucked out of their daily effort to survive wake up, rise up and seek their freedom.

In the same way, a leader -- in the office or home or ministry or team -- who leads like a dictator, sucks the life out of an organization and reduces people to being task-monsters. As Finzel states well, dictators believe that they have “special knowledge or an anointing that gives him or her the inside edge on truth...” They alone determine direction and they alone have the answer for every dilemma the organization faces.

As mentioned in Mistake #1, top-down leadership, the greatest good a leader does is empowering her team for success. Dictators short-circuit the success of the team by implementing their own ideas, randomly changing direction, or by sabotaging or down-playing the victories of others.

In contrast to the dictator, stands the servant leader. This leader is willing to facilitate the growth and achievement of his team, instead of crushing it by trying to control every aspect of the ministry, business or family. While Ephesians 4:12 is a specific call to pastors, I think all leaders would benefit from Paul’s words about growing others to be established in the work you are leading:  [God appointed leaders in the church] “to equip His people for works of service, so that the Body of Christ may be built up...” God didn’t appoint dictators to tell everyone how to do their jobs correctly. No! He appointed leaders to inspire others to serve, to expose the giftedness of others and to create an environment where everyone reaches the main objective under the direction of a serving, facilitating leader.

Here are 7 signs that you are leading like a dictator (or working for one!):

1. Information silo: You control the flow of information, including schedules, menus, long-term plans etc... It’s all in your head, or maybe even written out in a document, but it only changes when you change it.
2. Idea threats: You feel threatened by the ideas of others, especially Mavericks (see Mistake #4). When you hear a new idea that isn’t yours, your first reaction is usually “No.”
3. Flow chart: Your leadership flow chart is top-down. It doesn’t matter how wide it stretches, or how many arms come off your position, your position is always seen as “on top.”
4. Unknown culture: You are distant from those you lead. You don’t really know what’s happening in their lives, and honestly, you may not even care. You keep an arms-length approach to work or family relationships.
5. Defensive posture: You are defensive any time someone challenges or confronts you. You avoid honest sit down conversations with your team of followers, and you excuse away or blame others when your leadership is questioned.
6. Control decisions: You make all of the decisions, or limit them to an elite team of board members or friends.
7. Sudden changes: You make sudden changes in direction, in spending, in personnel and in general day-to-day work. Because you control the info, see ideas as threats and control decisions, sudden shifts in any aspect of the team, ministry or family is your prerogative.

Kaleo Korner 

(From my friend, Justin Vanrheenen, founder of Kaleo Media)

Let’s get real for a sec. Can a dictator change? Here’s my answer. NO. A dictator can not change, will not change, and if you work for a dictator, you have one option; resign and find a new job.

We all like to think that we can be the change, but sometimes you can’t. Hear me on this: because you can’t change the situation, it doesn’t make you a failure. Look at countries that have dictators, they have three options; military coup, get out or die. Assuming a military coup isn't a wise idea for your situation, there isn’t a middle ground.

Sometimes getting out will feel like death. You may take a hit to your reputation by the dictator. You may be ridiculed, and scorned in the process, by the dictator. But get out before you face emotional, relational, or physical death. There is no loyalty to any dictator worth your life!

By contrast, here are 7 signs that you are leading differently:

1. Delegation: You delegate meaningful decisions to others, even decisions that rest in your areas of “control.” You willingly share your authority.
2. Involvement: You want to include as many team members as productively possible in the process of achieving success.
3. Information aqueduct  You want ideas and info to flow freely, to and from every member of the team.
4. Development: Personal and team development is a crucial part of what you do.
5. People: You see people as the organization’s greatest resource; not money, not buildings and not programs.
6. Freedom: You give people real freedom to express their creativity and to make significant decisions.
7. Accountability:  You maintain healthy accountability with your team, and support decisions you’ve released others to make.

Hans concludes this section by identifying two main characteristics of leaders who avoid decision-making dictatorships. One, they preserve the dignity of each individual and, two, they promote freedom and corporate creativity.

By contrast, dictators are hard to work for and impossible to please. Justin and I were emailing about this post, and we concluded that dictators remind us of the pharisees in Jesus' day. In fact, Jesus rebukes them because they ruled the people so harshly. Listen to how He describes them:

"They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them" (Matthew 23:4).

"They love the place of honor..." (23:6).

"You [the pharisees] have neglected the more important matters of the law -- justice, mercy and faithfulness..." (23:23).

"...inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence..." (23:25).

"...on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness" (23:28).

To Justin's point above -- that dictators can't change -- think of the fact that even Jesus came to pharisees, confronted them and challenged them and what was their response? "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!"

It's true that a handful of pharisees were changed by Jesus, but the vast majority of them remained stuck in their stubborn, hard-hearted ways.

How are you leading your followers (Family, business, church, ministry, organization, team...)?

Go ahead and take the plunge, your leadership will be better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make, 6/10

Special thanks to Justin VanRheenen, friend and founder of Kaleo Media. If you want to increase your online presence, or improve your social media content and skills, contact Justin and learn from him!

Stop hoarding gifts.

Have you ever watched an episode of Hoarders? There is something disturbing about entering someones home that is covered, floor to ceiling, with “stuff” that they just can’t release. I seriously can’t stomach more than one episode of that show at a time, it just makes me ill.

One episode Traci and I watched showed a woman whose house was completely filled with boxes upon boxes, each overflowing with trinkets and garbage and books and food and... As the hoarding psychologist walked through the house with her (literally walking on paths barely wide enough for one person) he asked her, “So why are you keeping so much of this stuff?” He was trying to start the unpacking process (pun intended) with her. She replied, “I think a lot of this stuff will make some great gifts for others.”

The psychologist wasn’t buying her line, and pointed out that she was hoarding gifts, not giving them away. Clearly she was a collector of sorts, not a giver. Seeing someone’s house full of stuff, it’s easy to see their hoarding behavior, but I wonder how many of us hoard gifts of a different sort?

Toward the end of the book of Exodus, God is giving Moses the blueprints for building the Tabernacle, and all of the items that would be a part of Israel’s worship of Him. The details God gave were so specific, and required serious skill to execute. God gave plans for curtains, for giant copper washing basins, large gold rings, intricately carved flowers and birds, and expertly woven tapestries.

I’m guessing, that at some point, Moses had to think, “How on earth am I going to do all of this work??” Maybe he was an accomplished Gold or Copper smith, but he certainly wouldn’t have had the skill, or time, to accomplish everything God was requesting.

That’s ok, God had plans. In Exodus 35 we see that God had already orchestrated skilled laborers to be a part of Moses’ team. Two men in particular, were especially talented artists, and were gifted as teachers, able to show others how to be skilled in their craft, too. Men, women and children were put to work preparing the articles of the Tabernacle and worship, and God had already put the perfect team together (Exodus 35:30-35).

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of meeting some pretty amazing people; great managers, pastors, leaders, musicians, performers and every day moms and dads. Men (and women!) who were incredibly talented in some areas and once or twice, I’ve met a person who seemed talented in almost every area of life! They could sing, preach, build, paint and more. You know the type of person I’m talking about?

I’ve also met the some people that were really hard to work along side. People who led small organizations or churches that could never quite get over the hump, as well as people who led large organizations that could never seem to get their team all pointing the same direction. Some of these people seem to be so talented (or cocky?) they push other talented people away from them. Big lofty goals in their families or teams, in their businesses or ministries, continue to go unmet year after year, because they are hoarders...talent hoarders.

I think it’s so interesting in Exodus that God gave Moses this massive vision for a building a place where God would be worshipped while Israel wandered around the wilderness, then surrounded him with the team necessary to see the dream completed. Moses wasn’t greedy to be the guy who had all the skills or know-how, he apparently, was eager to release it to others. He was happy to bring a team alongside him.

Earlier in Exodus, Moses father-in-law, Jethro, stopped by to check in with Moses and to bring his wife and kids back to him (Moses had apparently sent his wife back to her home when things in Egypt got kind of crazy). When Jethro saw Moses acting as judge for all the problems the people had, he flipped his lid and told Moses to let others help carry the load, saving the largest issues for Moses to settle. Moses was more-than-happy to follow his father-in-laws advice, and let other talented people step in and use their gifts (Exodus 18:13-27).

The same was most certainly true in Exodus 35, because by the middle of Exodus 39, Moses’ final inspection took place and by Exodus 40 the new mobile place of worship was being set up! God gifted others to help Moses see the Tabernacle dream completed, and by releasing other gifted people to serve (instead of hoarding the work and talent himself!) Moses was able to reach the goal.

How about you? Are you a gift hoarder? Are you trying so hard to accomplish God-given dreams by yourself, that you keep spinning your wheels and getting stuck? Do people keep leaving your team because you aren’t releasing or inspiring them to use their gifts? Are you worried about who is going to get the credit? Have you ever feared that a project would be completed differently than you imagined if others came along and helped?

Almost everywhere you see true Kingdom work being done for the Lord, you’ll find a team of people using their gifts to see that work accomplished. Gift hoarders can only go as far as their own talent and management can take them, but those who will allow others to use their talents, gifts and perspectives will find greater joy in the journey, and help for the tough seasons. In fact, most often when I find myself stuck, I find God has already prepared someone else to come along side, to use their gifts, to help me move forward again.

Hoarding gifts can feel safe, and can give us a false sense of control. Where as releasing people to use their God-given talents can feel frightening, and even like we’ve lost control. But learning to work with others, and learning to appreciate how God gifts those around us can make the difference between finishing our dreams and goals, and stressing over another year passing without them being completed.

Is it time for you to stop hoarding gifts?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Be good. Do good.

I’m reading a couple of books about productivity, leadership and the fine art of organizing your life so that you spend more time on life’s priorities, and less time trying to find your car keys (or something like that). These books have been very challenging and encouraging.

While reading one of them, I was struck by the idea that so much of the Overboard Life revolves around one command: do good. Truthfully, at the end of each day, you can almost measure the “success” of a day by asking yourself, “Did I do good, today?” Before you grammar nazis go all crazy on me, I’m not asking if you did well (as in, “did you do your work well, today”), I’m asking, “Did you do good” (as in, “Did you do something good for your neighbor?”).

This got me thinking about all the passages in the Bible that talk about doing good for others. Here are just a few:

Proverbs 3:27: “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.”

Matthew 5:16: “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Galatians 6:9-10: “Let us not become weary in doing good...therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

Ephesians 2:10: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Look how The Message paraphrases this verse: “He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join Him in the work He does, the good work He has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:15: “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.”

Titus 2:14: “[Jesus] gave Himself for us to redeems us from all wickedness and purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good.”

Are you looking for opportunities to do good, today?

Of course, the only way that we can truly find the good that God wants us to do, is to make sure that the good we seek is done for His honor and His glory. I think it’s possible to do good in order to lift up our name and bring praise to ourselves. Clearly our activities to do good for others should flow from the command, “Love your neighbor as yourself” and the motive must come from the command, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength.”

Will you do some good today? How about tomorrow, when you wake up, you pray this to God: “Father, help me to see opportunities to do good for others today, in order that they might see my work and praise your name because of it.” I’m guessing God will help you see that there are plenty of chances for you to promote His name through good deeds done for others.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Joe Castaneda

Mistakes leaders make (4/10)

I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. Looking for missed posts, click here: Mistake #1, Mistake #2, Mistake #3)

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Mistake #4: No Room for Mavericks

Mavericks are the small segment of the population that are born with a different perspective. They don’t live inside any box, and they don’t naturally conform to the cultures in which they live and work. These people often feel like they don’t “fit in” because, truth is, they don’t!

If you have more than one child, you may know exactly what I’m speaking about! You probably have a child who just sees the world differently and no matter how hard you try to explain life to them, they just don’t seem to “get it.” The problem is, most of us, inadvertently, try to squash the mavericks from family influence -- or office expression -- as we stifle their creativity in an attempt keep things “normal.”

Generally, it’s not that mavericks try to make things hard, and generally, I don’t think most people intentionally try to block the influence a maverick can have. Rather, our homes and businesses and ministries and schools and organizations become so set in their ways, that without knowing it, they push away the very help they need. I find it ironic when an organization is formed out of a cry for change (like many church plants) but then themselves become a stagnant body that rejects change in the future!

Hanz writes, “Organizations (businesses, families, schools, ministries) have nasty habit of becoming institutionalized.” He continues, “Movements become monuments. Inspiration becomes nostalgic.” In other words, every organization experiences life cycles, much like a human moves from birth to death: birth, infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, middle age, golden years, old age and death. In the human existence, there is no way to reverse the cycle, but in organizations, there is: introduce a Maverick into the group!

Instead, however, most organizations opt to stifle the mavericks and try to keep them away from influence. Finzel gives five signs that suggest an organization is afraid of mavericks and headed for demise:

1. They create as many layers of management as possible for decision making.
2. They keep looking over the shoulders of employees, micro-managing them.
3. They make the policy manual as thick as possible.
4. They send everything to committees for deliberation.
5. They make new ideas and maverick leaders wait.

Kaleo Korner

(From my Friend, Justin VanRheenen, found of Kaleo Media)

My name is Justin. Am I’m a Maverick. **Hi, Justin**

I think of the greatest Maverick in the Bible, Peter. I love this guy. In John 21, after Jesus appeared to Peter and several of the disciples who were out fishing, He joins them on the shore to have breakfast. Now this is after Peter had tried to rebuke Jesus, cut off a dude’s ear, and denied Jesus three times, within a week. Think about that. If you’re a manager or pastor and someone screwed up this many times in a week, you’re ready to have a meeting aren’t you? So was Jesus.

So on the shore Jesus is having this meeting with Peter. And Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love me?” There are three greek words for love. Eros (a steamy passionate love; erotic), Phileo (a sibling kind of love), Agape (a fall-on-a-grenade-for-you type of love; self-sacrificing). The word that Jesus uses for love here is the word agape. “Peter, do you agape me?” Peter responds, “Jesus, you know that I…” **now watch this** “…phileo you?” Did you see that? Jesus asks a very specific question and Peter can’t answer it. But Jesus says “Feed my lambs.” WHAT?!

Jesus asks Peter again if he loves Him. “Peter, do you agape me?” Peter again responds. “Yes, Lord; you know that I phileo you?” Does Jesus say, “DUDE!! DO YOU NOT HEAR THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?” Nope. He says, “Tend my sheep.”

It's the next statement that makes me wish I had Jesus as a boss (don’t get all spiritual on me; you know what I mean). A third time, Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him, but watch this. “Peter, do you phileo me?” Did you see that? Jesus changed the word. He met Peter where he was. But I think He asked him, “Do you really phileo me? You said you do. But do you really?”

Peter is grieved that Jesus had to actually ask him this when he replied, “Jesus, you know everything; you know that I phileo you.” and Jesus says “Feed my sheep…Follow me.”

So why tell this story? Because Mavericks can identify themselves in this story. Mavericks know they don’t fit in. They know it. Just ask them. And they will make soooooo many mistakes. So many. But if you as a manger/pastor/parent punish a maverick because of their failures and never mentor or teach them through it, they will NEVER hear the words of Jesus when He comes down to their level and says, “Feed my sheep. Follow me.” They will instead feel shame, and they will fear even stepping outside of the box they are being stuffed in every day.

But let me tell you, if you can empower a Maverick within your organization, church, or family to do extraordinary things, they will turn a stagnate status quo into a thriving machine. And.And.And. hear me with this: their loyalty will go deeper than the biggest rockstar on your team. Don’t believe me? Engage that Maverick on your team.

Of course, there are mavericks who are self-centered, and more concerned about their status than the team’s -- you must be ware of them -- but there are plenty of game-changing influencers out there who just need a little opportunity to express themselves, in order to bring about significant change. Here are five ways Hanz suggests, to release the potential of a maverick:

1. Give them a long tether -- they need space to soar!
2. Put them in charge of something they can really own.
3. Listen to their ideas, and give them time to grow.
4. Let them work on their own (if they wish).
5. Leave them alone, and give them time, [and limited direction], to blossom.

As a leader, if you are feeling stuck, if you are feeling like your organization is in a rut, it might be that the answer is sitting right in front of you; you just need to release a maverick in to the equation. It can be a risky move, but mavericks are often the last person that stands between long-term success of a ministry or business -- even a family! -- and the demise of a once-great organization.

We’ve all seen 60, 70 and 80-year-old businesses, churches or ministries that have long passed their prime. They’re still around, and they’re still active, but they are at the end of their life-cycle and effectiveness. A maverick leader could be the one person that restores life.

Go ahead and take the plunge, you leadership will be better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make, 5/10

Special thanks to Justin VanRheenen, friend and founder of Kaleo Media. If you want to increase your online presence, or improve your social media content and skills, contact Justin and learn from him!

The "Faith" of Barak??

Sometimes when I read a Bible story I get that feeling of, “I could never be like that!” You know, at age 13, would you have charged into the battle field to fight Goliath like David did? At age 17 or 18, could you have resisted the sexual temptation of being chased by Potiphar’s hottie wife like Joseph did? If you were Esther, would you have risked your life? If you were Mary, could you have lived with the humiliation of being pregnant outside of marriage in a culture that used to give the death penalty for such offenses? Sometimes the faith of our heroes seems almost overwhelming. In part, I think that’s because we only catch glimpses of their lives and not the full picture. Rarely does Scripture pull back the curtain and let us see the day-to-day grind of those people, but instead, we get the highlights. And those highlights can seem daunting.

That might be one of the reasons I’m so glad Barak is mentioned as one of the great people of faith. In Hebrews 11:32 we read, “And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell you about Gideon, Barak....” What? Barak? Seriously? How?

Maybe you don’t know the story of Barak so let me fill you in. Back in the book of Judges, we read of Israel’s worst years. (Believe me, that book is awful as it reveals what happens when we live life without God!) But even during that time, God kept providing holy leaders to help Israel out, and one of them, apparently, was Barak.

In Judges 4 we read that evil king Jabin ruled Israel, and the Jews were miserable. Deborah, a prophetess of that day, receives word from God that He is about to show up and free the Israelites from Jabin’s tyranny. So Deborah tells Barak, “The Lord, the God of Israel, commands you: ‘Go, take with you ten thousand men...I will...give him [king Jabin’s army] into your hands.’” (Judges 4:6-7).

Think about it. God just told Barak, through Deborah, that He was going to deliver the enemy into his hands. God actually detailed the sneak attack He was going to orchestrate and all Barak had to do was show up and win the day. So how does Barak respond to this awesome news?

“Barak said to her [Deborah], ‘If you go with me, I will go; but if you don’t go with me, I won’t go.’”

Are. You. Kidding. Me?! How did this guy make it into Hebrews 11???

I’ll tell you how. I think at the end of the day, even in his fear, Barak still had faith to believe that God was going to deliver as He promised. Was he scared? Apparently he was terrified! Was he unsure of the outcome? Maybe. But he still believed, he still went to battle and he still brought about a great victory for Israel.

You see, how much faith you have won’t be measured against the faith of others. Barak isn’t being measured against David or Joseph, Mary isn’t being measured against Ruth, instead, faith is measured against revelation and maturity. In other words, the more you know about God, the more you’ve walked with Him, the higher the measuring rod for your faith. Jesus Himself said, “To whom much has been given, much will be required.”

In one story in the New Testament, Jesus and His disciples are walking through crazy big crowds. A woman reaches out and touches Jesus’ cloak in hopes of being healed from a life-long illness. She was a gentile woman (not a Jew). After a somewhat odd conversation (at least from our cultural stand point) Jesus heals her and proclaims, “I haven’t seen this much faith in anyone throughout Israel!” In other words, this woman who didn’t grow up with the reading of the Law and Prophets (the Old Testament), who didn’t grow up going to synagogue each Friday night, who didn’t grow up hearing the stories of the Great God of Israel, believed that Jesus could heal her. Yet how many Jews had been exposed to the truths of God and His Word, who didn’t respond in faith like her?

God isn’t asking me to have your faith, and He’s not asking you to have my faith. He’s asking both of us to live according to the faith that each of us possesses, and to be willing to allow Him to grow and stretch our faith each day. When I meet God, He’s not going to say to me, “Why didn’t you have the faith of Danny?" or "Why couldn't you be more like Jeromy?!” He’s going to measure my faith according to how I lived, how I trusted His promises based on what I knew, how I grew and how I responded to His work in my life.

What promises of God do you need to cling to, today? Even if you’re feeling a little unsure, or maybe you need a little help to hold on, what promises can you turn to? I love that Barak is in Hebrews 11, because even in his doubt, he proved his faith in the Almighty God. And sometimes, if I’m honest, I have doubts, too, but like Barak, I can still lean into the One who never breaks His Word. Here are three of my favorite promises, maybe one of these will give you strength today. Maybe you need to pull out one you’ve neglected for a little while in your life!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Joe Castaneda

Drinking poison

I recently read about an interesting “experiment” by the U.S. government, executed during the prohibition era. While it was illegal to buy, sell or manufacture drinking alcohol, the bootlegger’s black market made sure that massive quantities of beer and liquor continued to flow without much hinderance. Law enforcement just couldn’t keep up with the back-alley alcohol consumption and production.

While all sorts of tactics were used by the feds to stop alcohol production, one lesser-known experiment had catastrophic effects. Known as the “Chemist’s war of prohibition,” the U.S. government ordered the poisoning of industrial alcohols sold throughout the country. These products were frequently stolen by bootleggers and used in the production of their illegal spirits. The belief was that poisoning the alcohol would scare people into sobriety.

The belief was wrong, and the results were disastrous. By one record, when prohibition ended in 1933, over 10,000 deaths were directly linked to the poison strategy. Yet despite all these deaths, alcohol consumption didn’t slow down.

Would you have risked death over a swig of alcohol during that era? Seriously, if you knew that alcohol was being poisoned, and possibly even by the government itself, would have risked a drink knowing it could cost you, your life? For millions of people, the answer was yes and for at least 10,000 people the poison was deadly.

Last week I was reading in Genesis and I came across the story of Jacob and Esau. These guys were brothers, sons of Isaac, who lived life through two different lenses. Jacob was a momma’s boy, while Esau was a man’s man. Jacob was manipulator, Esau was a bully.

One day, when Isaac was getting to the end of his life, he told Esau, the first born, to prepare a meal and to be ready to receive the blessing Isaac had reserved for his oldest child. Rebekah, Isaac’s wife, helped Jacob totally deceive his dad and steal the blessing that actually belonged to his brother. When Esau figured out what had happened, there was nothing left for him but frustration and anger.

And poison. Lots of poison.

To protect her son, Rebekah sent him away to find a wife in another country instead of marrying a Canaanite woman. Isaac agreed with the idea and sent Jacob back to the land of their family in order for him to find a proper woman to marry. In this part of the story, we find Esau drinking the poison:

“Esau then realized how displeasing the Canaanite women were to his father Isaac; so he went to Ishmael [a city] and married Mahalath...in addition to the wives he already had” (Genesis 28:8-9).

Esau was so angry about having his blessing stolen by his brother. Esau had been cheated by his brother and betrayed by his own mother! There is nothing you can find in the text that would justify Jacob or Rebekah’s actions, and humanly speaking, Esau had every right to be angry and seek revenge. He took action and ultimately, he suffered.

That’s the strange conundrum that many of us find ourselves in: when we’re wronged, when we have a right to strike back, we find that revenge becomes a poison that wounds us! As Nelson Mandela put it, “Resentment [Revenge] is a poison we drink, while waiting for our enemies to die.”

Esau took another wife, a foreigner, in order to spite his parents. But who suffered from that? Certainly Esau did as he introduced this woman into his family. Certainly his new wife did. Certainly his other wives did. As all married men know, when your wife is unhappy or struggling, you’re unhappy and struggling (the same is true for women with their husbands!). Nobody in Esau’s family won with this decision, but Esau drank the poison anyway.

You and I drink from the same poison every time we hold a grudge, harbor hatred, seek revenge or wish evil on others. I’m not talking about seeking true justice, I’m talking about pursuing punishment or revenge based on our feelings of right and wrong. Every time we chase after those things, it’s as if we’ve taken our beer mug, held it under a keg of government tainted alcohol, and decided to take a chance with a little drink. Like Esau, the only person being poisoned is the one drinking.

Contrast this with Easu’s nephew, Joseph. He was hated by his brothers. Then, they sold him into slavery and told his dad that he had been killed by a wild animal. After that, he was imprisoned for NOT having sex with his boss’s wife. He was forgotten in prison, even after he miraculously revealed God’s divine plan for two other prisoners. For a total of 13 years, he was a slave and prisoner and when he finally met with his brothers again, with a chance to “get even” he says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, Don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children” (Genesis 50:20-21).

Joseph chose to NOT drink the poison, and the outcome of his life was radically different.

Are you drinking the poison of bitterness, anger, revenge or resentment? Here are a few ideas about how to put down the cup and release the need for revenge.

1. Remember Colossians 3:13 and forgive others, as the Lord has forgiven you. It’s not easy when the pain is deep, but we must recall that what Jesus forgave in you and me, is exponentially deeper than what you and I will ever forgive in someone else. Your sin -- my sin -- cost Jesus His life, and yet He willingly paid that price in order to cover our sin. If He forgave us with His life, with His help, we can forgive others, too.
2. Remember Genesis 50:20, and the truth that God can use your worst pain and darkest circumstances, to accomplish His great plan. Did Joseph know God’s plan while he was a slave or prisoner? I doubt it. But when God’s plan became clear, he was in a position to receive it.
3. Remember Hebrews 12:3 that tells us that Jesus endured opposition at the hands of sinful men in order to see God’s work finished. Take courage, the writer of Hebrews says, “...so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Learning to take poison out of your diet can be a painful experience, but like most healthy changes, you will be glad you did when the change is finished. Don’t let anger, bitterness, resentment or revenge ruin another day. Choose the path of Joseph and find real freedom in Christ.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Joe Castaneda

Death still stinks.

A couple days ago, Traci and I attended the funeral of a friend. Pastor John Gleason died, in his mid-50s, of a freak water accident. He was, by human standards, taken while in the prime of his ministry. Several hundred people attended this service, and the scope of influence his ministry had was broad and touching. This isn’t the first time I’ve written about death, and unfortunately, it won’t be the last. Death is a grim reality in this life, one that all of us must face in relationship to others, and in relationship to our own mortality. Reflecting on someone else’s death gives a chance to evaluate our own lives, and to consider the influence we’re having on those around us. I certainly found myself doing that as John’s service unfolded.

During part of the ceremony, several people shared stories of Pastor Gleason’s influence in their lives. While he pastored a smaller congregation, you wouldn’t have known that by the large number of people in attendance at his funeral. And story after story reflected the same two themes: John loved God and John loved others.

There were several humorous moments, and of course, not a dry eye in the place when his son shared about the love he received from his father. But through it all, funny or touching, obscure or enriching, the same themes of love emerged. Love for his wife and children. Love for the people in his church even those who had walked away from the Lord. Love for the prisoners he visited each week in jail. Love for children. Love for music and using it to bless others. And most of all, a deep, rich and unquenchable love for God.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I forget how simple it is. When Jesus was asked to explain the most important laws and rules His people should follow, He broke down His answer into two simple categories: Love God, and love others.

“Jesus replied [to the question]: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. and the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Jesus went on to explain that everything in God’s Law hangs on those two themes. In other words, our lives can be measured by how well we love God and love others. Our decisions can be weighed by how much they reflect a love for God or a love for others. If you break down the Christian experience to its most basic form it boils down to these two questions: How well do you love God? How well do you love others?

Based on my experience with Pastor John Gleason, and confirmed by the myriad of testimonies I heard about his life, he excelled in both. And as I reflected on his life, his sudden death and the mark he left in this world, I wondered how I was doing in loving God and loving others. How are you doing?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

p.s. The more I’ve thought about John’s life the more I realize that one of the ways that he loved people, was by having time and being available. I know John was busy, but it never felt like he was busy when you met with him. He always had time, and he never seemed rushed to get away from a conversation or relationship. He was a good listener. How can you show love for others today? Maybe by applying one of John’s principles to your interactions with the people around you:

1. Take time to invest in relationships
2. Don’t be rushed into, or out of, conversations
3. Listen intently

Mistakes leaders make (3/10)

I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. Looking for missed posts, click here: Mistake #1, Mistake #2

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Mistake #3: The Absence of Affirmation

It’s no secret in corporate America that affirmation is the number one motivational factor for employees -- Employee incentives

In fact, I’m convinced many managers are aware of this, to a degree, but as Hans states, “[they] wildly underestimate” the power of affirmation. It seems like there’s a big disconnect between knowing affirmation is valuable, and applying it in the workplace (or home). Here are my suggestions as to why it doesn’t happen more often:

1. It requires time and thoughtfulness. Meaningful affirmation (a pre-printed, “Great Job!” certificate doesn’t cut it) requires time, and some reflection. If you want to thank an employee for some contribution, you have to know how they contributed, or in what way their contribution was effective. It’s hard to wing-it when it comes to meaningful praise.
2. Affirmation requires a level of engagement with your family, classmates or co-workers. You can’t give powerful affirmation as a leader, if you’re disconnected from your team.
3. One size doesn’t fit all -- a leader has to understand the different levels of affirmation his team needs. [see below]
4. Unfortunately, some leaders just don’t care. They are so focused on upward mobility, so focused on goals and achievement, or just oblivious to others around them, and they don’t care about rewarding others with uplifting words.

Finzel points out four different types of people, and suggests some ideas for how to recognize them. I think this list is pretty helpful:

Desperados: These people cannot get enough praise! They usually lack confidence, are a bit fragile and lap up affirmation. If you have a desperado, remember that they need to know when they are doing well...frequently.

Up-and-downers: This group of people can carry on for days, even weeks, without much praise. But something will happen that will trigger a downturn in their countenance. Maybe a change at the office, a problem at home or in the marriage, or the loss of a friendship or pet. A good leader will recognize when an Up-and-downer needs a lift, and will use those opportunities to pour it on.

Normal (Stable): Hans uses the word normal, I would use the word stable, to describe people from a pretty steady background, and who don’t have real high-highs, or real low-lows. These people are easy to overlook because they require such low maintenance. But don’t confuse calm with happy, or non-cranky with content. Look for opportunities to help your stable people be reaffirmed in their stability.

Autopilots: These are you home or office energizer bunnies. They seem to operate at a high level for a long time, and often require little attention. In fact, many of them are suspicious of praise, assuming you have a second agenda. Learn to praise these people as you walk or work along side them. Praise them with coffee cards (Because you KNOW they drink unhealthy amounts of caffeine!) or humor -- anything that shows kindness.

Kaleo Korner (From Justin VanRheenen, founder of Kaleo Media)

Affirmation is probably the hardest characteristic to get right all the time. Because of that, you’re going to mess up…a lot! Failure is going to happen. Don’t let it scare you. How do I know? I’m awful at giving affirmation. Which is very ironic since my #1 strength in Strength Finders is Significance. I literally want to know that I have done a good job and my longing for that, drives me to excel. But because I’m awful at giving affirmation, doesn’t mean I don’t do it.

Here are 3 things I remind myself about affirmation:

1. Making the company look good is a part of doing a good job. But to be honest, it shouldn’t be the point of the affirmation. So much work goes into making the company look good. How does my good work make you feel? What specifically about my good work makes you feel that way? (AAAAAHHHHHH FEEEEEELLLLINGS!!!!)

2. Most times, being late with affirmation is still better than none at all.

3. If you still can’t be sincere with affirmation, just keep your mouth shut until you can. If you can’t be sincere, you’ve got some soul searching to do because something is wrong with you.

That last one may seem harsh, but I can’t tell you how easy it is to loose credibility by being a person a who isn’t sincere. I’ve been that person. I’ve been managed by a person like that. I’ve watched people be managed by people like that. Trust me. Just don’t do it. Or do. And lose great employees or volunteers.

I think some leaders balk at the idea of having to know their staff well enough to know what each person needs. But this isn’t new advice! Look at what Paul wrote the leaders in a church. In 1 Thessalonians 5:14 Paul writes, “And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone...”

If you are in a leadership position (Dads/moms, coaches, bosses, employees, parents, children, students, pastors, CEOs etc...) you have a unique opportunity to bless those you lead with honest, careful and powerful words of praise. You have a chance to put into practice the last half of Ephesians 4:29, “...[your words should be] what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

How are you doing as a leader, providing affirmation to your team? Do your children need to hear more praise from you? Are your employees desperate for some affirmation from their boss? How could you encourage one person today?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make, 4/10

Special thanks to Justin VanRheenen, friend and founder of Kaleo Media. If you want to increase your online presence, or improve your social media content and skills, contact Justin and learn from him!