Mistakes Leaders Make (2/10)

I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. (Looking for missed posts, Mistakes Leaders Make (1/10))

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Mistake #2: Putting Paperwork before peoplework

I love what Hanz states about this mistake: “The greater the leadership role, the more important ‘peoplework’ is. People are opportunities, not interruptions.”

As an owner of a publishing company I deal with lots of paperwork, physical and digital. As a parent I process thousands of emails, flyers, posters, parent-newsletters and school awards every year! It’s easy to become obsessed with organizing, filing, storing, accessing, and admiring paperwork. And paperwork is important, but...and that’s a BIG but...not early as important as the people connected to it.

Why do some leaders prefer to process paper/data/to-do lists and more? It’s pretty simple and you Type-A’s know this is true (Ha!):

1. Observable results are more fun than trying to cultivate relationships
2. Tasks easily allow you push aside small talk
3. Because the material world dominates the immaterial world
4. Often you feel judged by what you do, not by who you are
5. Personality preferences
6. Relationships don't easily fit your deadline, task-oriented mentality.

(You could reverse each of these and come up with reasons why relationship oriented people like me don’t accomplish our paperwork in a timely fashion!)

Generally, when paperwork trumps peoplework, it’s because people are viewed as interruptions and distractions, instead of opportunities. But people are the heart of almost every organization, family, school or business. Without people, your cause/ministry/team dies. An orchestra plays the music, but without the people, the paper with the notes is meaningless. Carlo Maria Giulini, former LA Philharmonic conductor is quoted as saying, “My intention always has been to arrive at human contact without enforcing authority...What matters most is human contact. The great mystery of music making requires real friendship among those who work together. Every member of the orchestra knows I am with him and her in my heart.”

Couldn’t we say that the real mystery of any industry/team/family requires friendship among those who work together? I’d love to believe that great things can be done for God by people who don’t get along, but the reality is that God’s work, in the long-haul, is short-circuited when God’s children don’t get along.

As most of you know, I'm a relationship guy, so while I make plenty of mistakes as a leader, this generally isn't one of them. My buddy and contributor to these posts, Justin VanRheenen, founder of Kaleo Media, offers these insights for task-oriented people like himself:

Kaleo Korner

3 Ways to be more people oriented

Use your planning skills as a strength. This begins with your email inbox. More time is wasted in a day because of email. Kaleo Media spends only two hours a day in email, AT MOST. That’s one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon (generally 10am and 3pm). Rule of thumb is to get the email out of your inbox. I believe that having 2000+ emails in your inbox will kill you faster than eating a pound of bacon everyday. To help you empty your inbox, choose an email client you like. This is incredibly hard. Every client has its own perks. Don’t use an email client that overwhelms or distracts you getting stuff done.

Kaleo Media uses Mail Pilot because it allows you to organize and get email out of the inbox fast. Inbox Zero is the most genius way to get your inbox to zero. It's not for everyone, but very effective. I've been using SaneBox, a paid service, for three years. It moves only the important emails to my inbox and creates a few other folders (SaneLater and SaneNews) for all the other stuff. It also helps you unsubscribe from newsletters you don’t read. It even learns what emails are important.

Take ten minutes of every hour to get out from behind your desk and go have a conversation. Not only is this good for your health to get up and walk around but it helps refocus your mind, invest in those working with you, and gives you a break from staring at a computer screen or book or spreadsheet.

Relationships are ALWAYS greater than deadlines. We live in a society that places progress over relationships. But what I’ve tried to do for Kaleo and my clients is build relationship time into contracts, because I would rather go into your shop and spend quality time with you for a couple hours than bounce emails back and forth. This helps me get a bigger picture of what we are accomplishing and helps me be a raving fan of your product. A phone call or drop-in is ALWAYS better than a text message or email if you can help it.

This isn’t to say paperwork is an important or unnecessary aspect of leadership, but rather to ask the question: What’s your primary focus as a leader? I love the story of Jesus and His disciples trying to move from one ministry location to another, when a woman, suffering from severe menstrual bleeding reaches out to touch Jesus robe, hoping to be healed. Jesus halted the procession and says, “Hey, somebody just touched me!” Peter’s response is awesome: “Of course someone just touched you! We’re in a crazy mob-like crowd and hands are everywhere! Let’s keep moving!”

But to Jesus, peoplework trumped paperwork. He stopped everything until he found the woman whose faith was so strong. I wonder how often we leaders ignore the touch of others, the requests of others and the need of others in order to finish our tasks? As Hans writes repeated, “Only through association is their transformation.” Let’s associate more with the people we lead.

How well are you balancing paperwork and peoplework in your family? In your work? On your team? In your school? We can’t just ignore our tasks or the paper trail we’re a part of, but has it subtly taken charge of your life? Are you finding your identity in what you do or who you are? Do you see people as interruptions or opportunities? Jesus stopped, met with people, talked to people, touched sick people, played with children and in general, believed that transformation and association went hand-in-hand. How about you?

I’m fully convinced, the greater the leadership task in front of you, the more critical it is for you to hone your peoplework skills!

Go ahead and take the plunge, your leadership will be better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make, 3/10

It's so simple...just ridiculously hard!

Today I was reminded of how simple the Overboard Life is. Simple? sure. Easy? No way! I was reading in Psalm 143 when I came across verse 8, one that has appeared in other recent Overboard posts.

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”

It’s pretty simple:

1. "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love..." Each day is a new opportunity to see a glimpse of God’s love. It’s there, sometimes I don’t see it, but it’s always there!
2. "...For I have put my trust in you..." I can catch those glimpse’s of God’s love, when I keep my trust rooted in Him, and who He is. When I lose sight of His love in my life, I’ve lost sight of Him in my life. He hasn’t gone anywhere,  and His love hasn’t changed -- my trust has shifted. (It’s called “unfailing love” for a reason!)
3. "...Show me the way I should go..." God knows how today is going to end. He knows tomorrow and He knows the day I breath my last. He knows the path that’s best for me, my job is to seek and to find His will; not try to bend His will to mine!
4. "...For to you I lift up my soul." He is the only one who can truly care for my soul. Nothing in this life can nurture me like God can.

It’s not easy, but it is very simple. Each day, when I trust God: I will see His unfailing love in abundance; I will uncover the path He has for my life; I will experience ultimate care for my soul.

What is keeping you from trusting God, today? For me, I’ve had a few days where I let the uncertainty of my immediate future crowd out God’s love, path and care. I’ve let hurt direct me, when I needed God to heal and guide me. What about you? What do you need to surrender, today, so you can reaffirm your trust in God? Simple? yes. Easy? I wouldn’t be writing this, and you wouldn’t be reading it, if it was!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

How committed are you?

This blog has always been a great place for me to “keep it real” with readers, to share honestly about my own struggles and shortcomings, and to openly work through my flaws. For example, if you missed my fantastic parenting fail from earlier this year, feel free to learn at my expense. Seriously, parents, it could save you a little heartache. Today I want to openly admit another flaw: I’m an absolute sucker for any movie involving Sylvester Stallone (can we all just agree that he’s one of our nation’s finest actors?) and the Rocky franchise. (Fun fact for you: I read an estimate that said the Rocky franchise, to date, has grossed 1.1 TRILLION -- that’s with a “T” -- dollars over it’s lifetime!) So when I saw that a new Rocky movie was coming out Thanksgiving Day, I was already fully convinced of two things: It will be the Movie of the Year AND, Sly will finally win an Academy Award.

Ok, probably neither of those things will be true, but c’mon...can you think of a better way to enjoy the after-Thanksgiving Day coma than to watch a Rocky movie? Exactly!

Whether you like Rocky or not, you should stick with this blog. (If you don’t, you can probably already answer the question in this blog title!) Because 1.1 trillion dollars doesn’t happen by accident.

The story of the first Rocky movie is pretty well known, and part of what made the Rocky movie such a glowing success. There’s a little fact, and certainly a little fiction involved, but overall the story incapsulates the American Dream.

Sylvester Stallone wrote the original Rocky script and wanted to see it produced in Hollywood. He shopped it to several studios, and a couple showed interest, but they didn’t like the one caveat that came with Sly’s proposal: he had to be the star of the movie. According to one report, he turned down $150,000 for the script because they refused to allow him the lead role.

Time passed, and Sylvester and his wife were near the end of their resources. Down to around $100 in his bank account and with his wife pregnant and no acting opportunities in sight, Stallone had to sell his beloved dog that he could no longer afford to feed. Near the ratty Hollywood apartments they lived in, he posted a sign at a bar, listing his dog for sale, for $100. He finally sold him for $50 to man named “Little Jimmy” (a dwarf).

One week later, Sly received word that a studio would take his movie and he would get to star in the Rocky lead role. The studio was willing to pay him $30,000 up front. He signed the contract, took the money and immediately went back to the bar to find Little Jimmy and his dog. After a few days of searching, several minutes of negotiating and multiple threats from Little Jimmy, Stallone bought his dog back...for $3,000! (He even gave Little Jimmy a cameo in the first movie.) His dog went on to star in the first two Rocky movies, though he passed away before Rocky 3 was filmed.

Stallone was absolutely relentless in pursuing his dream and he didn’t settle for less when he had the chance. Think about it: I wonder how many people would have happily taken $150,000 in his circumstances, and celebrated the sale of a screen play? Sure, they would have been wealthier but they would have compromised on their dream in order to do so. What would you have done? Down to your last $100, and no one seeing your dream with the same clarity or vision you have? Would you have settled?

The Apostle Paul had a dream to “know Christ more” and he was willing to give up everything else, in order to see that dream come true. In Philippians 3:8 he writes, “What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...” Listen to his passion as he continues to describe his absolute commitment to the goal: “...for [His] sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ...I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection...”

Peter was passionate about helping others stand firm in their calling as children of God. In 2 Peter 1:12 he says, “So I will always remind you of these things [the Gospel and God’s divine power to produce righteousness in us], even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have.” Look how committed he was as he continues to describe his passion for this goal:  “I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body...And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things...” (2 Peter 1:14-15).

John was absolutely committed to proclaim the message of Jesus that he had witnessed with his own eyes, a message he believed would unite the brothers in fellowship with one-another in love, and in fellowship with their Creator and Savior. Read 1 John and see how his passion emerges over and over and over again!

Abraham was relentless in his pursuit of the promise God had given him, so much so, that he was willing to give up the very thing he prized most in order to see God’s Word fulfilled. David loved the house of the Lord, and spent the last years of his life preparing the raw materials needed so his son could build it. Esther trusted God’s ability to save her people so much, that she laid her very life on the line in a desperate attempt to see Him show up. An impoverished widow trusted God’s ability to provide for her needs, to the point she gave Him her last two pennies as a show of her faith. The list goes on and on and the question remains: how committed are you to what God has put on your heart to do?

Overboard Ministries exists to help believers live their God-designed lives, out of the comfort of the boat, and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom. It’s a passion God has put into our hearts for years, and today we are embracing the challenges, testings and opportunities that come from stepping out in faith to see this dream become a reality. The dream of speaking to more students, the dream of inspiring couples to embrace an Overboard marriage, the dream of empowering believers to use their God-given gifts to reach the lost and the dream to lead others leaders into the pursuit of faith-based ministries and work is as strong as ever.

So are the challenges. And each day I have to answer the question, “How committed am I?”

Sylvester Stallone didn’t build a 1.1 trillion dollar franchise by merely showing up with a manuscript. He was relentlessly committed to seeing his dream realized. Paul gave up his life, prematurely, pursuing his goals, as did Peter and 11 of the 12 disciples of Christ. Abraham died not seeing his dream fulfilled but left the hope of legacy with his family. David gave Solomon everything needed to see the House of God built and Esther saved her people. They were all, absolutely committed to God’s work in their lives, and to the dreams and passions He had placed inside of them.

What do you need to add to your life (habits, disciplines, friendships...) to keep your dreams front and center? What distractions do you need to remove from your life (habits, disciplines, friendships...) to keep your dreams front and center?

How committed are you?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

You ever watch a child run into traffic?

Last month, Traci and I, and our three amazing kids, were on our West Coast road trip from Michigan. During six weeks of travel, we logged 10,860 miles and countless hours of fun with friends and family. It was a great trip to rest, recruit supporters for Overboard Ministries and to prepare our hearts for the work God has for us here in Michigan. A week after my oldest niece’s wedding, we spent 7 days with my brother Dan (it was his daughter’s wedding) and his two youngest children. It was a fantastic week for all of us. The hundred degree weather made his pool perfect for daily swims and time with his family was a real treat.

Dan’s youngest -- my nephew Steven -- is a great young man, today. 20 years old, he loves the Lord, and loves adventure in life. He’s a lot of fun to be around, and my son AJ especially enjoys hanging out with him.

One sunny afternoon while watching him play games with my kids in the pool, I took a little stroll down memory lane. I have a lot of memories of Baboochka (that of course, is his preferred name!), and one in particular that still makes my heart race when I think about it.

Steven was probably just three or four years old, and all of us took an afternoon to visit Bush Park in Salem, Oregon. We were walking along Mission street (a particularly busy street) preparing to enter the park, when Steven, suddenly and rather inexplicably, bolted toward Mission street. It was moment of sheer terror for everyone as he scooted between two parked cars and prepared to emerge on a street with vehicles traveling 35-45 mph.

My brother’s parental instincts kicked in, and he jumped down a little embankment and bounded between two cars to catch Steve as he was a step away from entering into a lane of traffic. Honestly, a second or two later, and that might have been the last memory our family would have had of Steven. My brother saved his son’s life.

Watching Steven jump in the pool as a 20-year-old man, I’m thankful for my brother’s quick thinking, and his decision to grab Steve’s hand and yank him to safety. There was no debate, there was no, “Steven, you get back up here right now, or you’re gonna get hit by car. Oh yeah, young man, when you get hit by a car doing 45, you’ll be sorry you didn’t listen to me!” No. He jumped into danger, grabbed his son’s hand and pulled him back to safety.

I’m thinking about that story again today, as I’ve been meditating on Isaiah 41:13: “For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear; I will help you’” (NIV). I like how The Message paraphrases it: “That’s Right. Because I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go. I’m telling you, ‘Don’t panic. I’m right here to help you.’”

I love that verse. God “takes hold of [my] right hand” -- He has a “firm grip on [me]” -- and He’s here to help. Like my brother jumping out to help his son avoid serious injury, God is taking hold of you and me, and notice that He’s not waiting for us to reach out to Him! My brother Dan didn’t wait for Steven to realize the gravity of his situation, and likewise, God isn’t waiting for you and I to come to our senses before He offers help. He initiates. He grabs our hand. He helps.

Of course, we can resist His help, we can reject His work in our lives, but thankfully, He still doesn’t give up and He doesn’t quit. Sure, He might up the ante, He might increase the pressure to help persuade us to trust Him, but He doesn’t give up helping us. He wants us to grow to be more and more like His Son, Jesus.

I’m thankful for God’s help. I’m thankful He keeps grabbing my hand and I’m thankful for His reminder that I don’t need to fear or panic; He’s here to help.

How can you surrender to God’s help today? How can you redirect your focus from fear of circumstances, to faith in a God who helps? From anxiety to peace? From fear of the unknown to trust in the One who knows everything?

He’s taking hold of you, and He wants to help.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Everything matters

I’m often reminded of how important the little things are in life. Of course, if you’ve read this blog with any regularity, you know that there are no such things as, “little things.” Scripture reaffirms the truth that how we handle the little things will be a reflection of the larger opportunities God gives us. Check out this parable Jesus used to teach this principle. Traci and I had a date night last week, and thanks to the work of a friend, we were able to enjoy dinner and a movie. Last December, at our local theater, we purchased the theater’s large, refillable, plastic popcorn tub so that we can enjoy movie theater popcorn (my favorite!) for just $4 for each refill. So after dinner, we took our bucket to the concession stand, bought  a refill and a small Coke.

As we sat down in our theater and were watching previews, Traci suddenly asked, “Did you get a free popcorn refill tonight?” No, I wasn’t supposed to. At that point we both realized that while I had been chatting it up with the server, he had charged me for the Coke but not for the popcorn refill.

I hopped out of my seat, headed back to the counter and waited for the cashier to finish with another customer. He looked puzzled and asked if he could help with anything. I didn’t have my receipt (pitched it as I left the counter) but told him I was pretty sure he only charged me for a small Coke (which he agreed), but I reminded him that he refilled our popcorn tub. I owed him $4 and wanted to make sure I paid my popcorn debt.

It was funny. His jaw dropped open and he was speechless. Seriously, he was speechless over a $4 pay back. Keep in mind, it was $4 that I actually owed to him! He thanked me four or five times, and made the comment, “I’m not sure many people would have come back to pay for that.”

A couple days later I had lunch downtown, while doing some work on my phone. I was sitting outside, during a beautiful afternoon, enjoying my meal. All the other customers were eating inside.

When I finished, I grabbed my plate, my cup, my napkins (I’m a messy eater!) and the little sauce caddy my waitress had brought out, and carried it all inside. When I walked through the front door, the look on her face said it all. She gushed, -- I’m not joking, she gushed! -- “You didn’t have to do that! That’s so kind of you! No one brings their stuff in, honey, that’s my job. Oh my word, I can’t believe you did that. Thank you. Wow. Thank you!”

It was so simple: paying back $4 that was overlooked, and picking up after myself. Yet those two simple acts influenced the day of two people that I might not others wise have influenced.

I often wonder how many of those opportunities I miss when I let my day revolve around me, instead of around the opportunities God puts in front of me. I know how grateful I am when someone does that “little” act for me, so I know how much it can matter to others, too!

Who could you bless today by doing the simple things today? In fact, is there just one “little” act of kindness, love or grace you could offer today that might bless someone whether they know it was you who performed it? What conversations or friendship might God open up with a simple act of thoughtfulness? What would it take for you to ask God, each day, to use you to be a blessing to others? How might this question change your day-to-day interactions?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

Six months later...

Two weeks ago, while we were traveling somewhere between Southern California and Salem, Oregon, it hit me: we had passed the six month mark since I lost my job. January 16th has become an important date in my life -- an anniversary of sorts -- that marks a shift in my personal walk with God, the start of massive change/uncertainty and a season of intense growth. So on July 16th, six months after “you’re fired,” Traci and I reflected on all that has happened during this time.

When you experience a significant life change, time seems to pass at different a pace. In one sense, it feels like January 16th was years ago: a lot has happened to us in the past 181 days. We’ve driven across the country twice, logging more than 20,000 miles in our already aged van. I’ve slept in 30 different beds across 18 different states, and Traci has traveled half-way around the world to minister in Thailand. We’ve learned to live even more simply, and how to accept the grace, kindness and generosity of others.

This time has been a life-changing experience for our kids, too. They’ve had to say goodbye to schools they’ve been with the past two years, pack up all their belongings into a storage shed and had to “tag along” for a ride into the unknown. We’ve comforted all three of them at different times, cried with each them at other times, and watched them grow during this period of faith-stretching, too. All of us have been part of this journey.

Through all of the struggles of being jobless and homeless, through the challenges that come with trusting God and waiting for Him to reveal the next step, our whole family has been changed. God has become bigger to each of us, and without questions, we are all learning to walk in a renewed and strengthened faith. As Traci and talked about life six months after God changed interrupted our lives, here are a few observations we made.

First, God’s ability to provide has far exceeded our needs on every level. When I lost my job on January 16th, I was given six weeks to move out. That means on March 12th, we, literally, became homeless. And yet, since that day, we have never been without a roof over our heads, and we have never missed a meal. God has opened doors -- house doors! -- to provide shelter, beds, kitchens and basic comforts for all of us. We have lived in the city, on a lake, in the suburbs and in the country, we have house-sat vacant homes or lived in the company of dear friends and family. Every time we’ve needed another place to live -- God has met our need.

Second, we've learned that God is a lavish provider. In a lot of the circles I’ve grown up in, I came to understand that faith in God meant He would meet your basic needs and that’s it. Somehow I took away from sermons, missionary stories and fellow pastors that God was in the bare-minimum business, and not in the lavish gift-giving business. God has grown in my life these past six months, and maybe in this area more than any other. He has been so lavish with my family, and He has shown that He doesn’t just meet needs, He lavishly and generously pours out more than our lives are able to contain.

In Psalm 23 David wrote, “You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings” (23:5). Notice that David’s feast occurred “in the presence of his enemies,” in other words, during the tough seasons -- the seasons when he was being pursued or challenged. But God showed up during that time and David describes God’s goodness like a feast, like a Thanksgiving meal, and says, “my cup overflows with blessings.” During our tough season we have feasted on the goodness of God and have seen, first hand, that He doesn't just meet the bare-minimum need -- He fills cups to overflowing.

Third, we’ve learned that our desire to grow is best met in challenges. Last October Traci and I ran our first half-marathon, and -- obviously, we didn’t know what was going to happen just three months later -- we knew the run was a metaphor for life. One of the big lessons I wrote about was the fact that you don’t get the medal that says you finished, unless you complete the race.

For us, that meant months of training, beginning while the snow still covered the ground. We ran when the roads first made an appearance in April, and we ran in downpours and drizzly afternoons in June. We ran in beautiful weather along Northern Michigan farms, and we ran in stifling heat and humidity in parks, roadways and big cities while traveling for my job. Running a half-marathon is hard, and receiving the joy of finishing requires months of hard work.

Likewise, growing in your faith is hard, but the resulting spiritual and personal change is worth it. Traci and I have longed to see some big dreams become a reality, and during this season, God is preparing us for the reality of those big goals. Does it hurt? often. Is it fun? occasionally. Is it easy? rarely. Is it worth it? always!

Finally, Traci and I have come to understand that our kids have to experience this for their good, too. Honestly, this might be the hardest part of the journey, and the burden I feel the most. It’s one thing to have your own life or marriage impacted by outside influences, it’s another thing entirely to watch it spill over onto your children. For years, though, Traci and I have prayed for their faith, and for their individual relationships with God, and we are seeing amazing growth in their lives, too!

Those times we’ve prayed with them, and for them, those times we talked about God-sized goals, and those times we’ve dreamed together as a family -- those possibilities we’ve talked about are beginning to take shape through this trial. To pray for change and growth and dreams with our children, and yet to try and “shelter” them from this hardship is a disservice!

Just as Traci and I realize our greatest growth occurs in the shadow of hardship, our kids’ greatest growth will occur as they see how Traci and I navigate pain and change, and as they learn to work through it themselves. During this season, more than once, their faith has lifted Traci and I when we were running low. And every time they see God answer a prayer, provide for a need or show up in grand fashion, their future lives are being shaped in ways that wouldn’t occur without hardship.

While I can’t honestly say I want the next six months to be anything like that past six months, I can honestly say I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. If you’re going through one of these season, I want to encourage you to reflect on how God is showing up in your life. For me, the more time I take to see His fingerprint in all of this, the more my faith is strengthened even in the face of extreme uncertainty. I'm confident if you look for God's hand in your hardship, you'll experience growth in your faith, too!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

Death stinks.

The death of Frank Vega was a significant event. Last week the news came to me rather unexpectedly, and honestly, it gave me that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Traci was still in Thailand, the kids and I were on the road together so I took a morning to call a common friend. While I felt a little encouraged after the call, the reality of this life is that death stinks. Unexpected death is especially challenging.

Pastor Frank, or “Pastor Loco” as a few knew him, was an icon in the inner city of Philadelphia. He lived, worked, served and ministered the Gospel in a challenging part of the City of Brotherly Love; a part of the city that many others had abandoned because of the difficulty of the ministry.

Not only did he serve in the inner city, but he served with limited resources and often, without taking a paycheck. He lived where he worked, too, raising his kids and managing his marriage in the very place he grew up. And he did all this with his awesome wife, Carmen, who labored alongside him every step of the way. (In fact, after knowing Bishop Frank these past 12 years, I can assure you that without Carmen, there would be no Frank!)

Just last week I was talking to a friend who I discovered had once lived in Philadelphia. I took students to Philly on three occasions (each for at least a seven day trip), and visited a fourth time on my own, and so I’ve been able to learn about the city and the ministry of Pastor Frank from a limited, first-hand experience. I told my buddy about where we usually served when we were in the city, and when I mentioned Kensington, he gave me a response that I’ve heard more than once: “Wow...Kensington is a tough place...” That was Frank's place.

I met Pastor Frank in the summer of 2005, the first time I took students to work with him in Philly, as part of the summer outreach ministry of Vision for Youth. We connected right away, in part because I used my broken Spanish to crack a joke, and in part, because I loved his heart for people. His story is amazing, and the way God saved him from a life of self-destruction (gangs, drugs, violence and jail time in the U.S. and in a foreign country) is part of what makes his life’s work even more meaningful.

I made return trips with students in 2007 and 2009, and again by myself later in 2009. Each time, Frank and I had an opportunity to talk about life, ministry and how God works in us and thru us, despite our weaknesses. He often boasted about his wife, and shared how an awesome ministry opportunity almost took him out of Kensington, but Carmen kept him grounded and focused on the ministry at hand. He always challenged and blessed me each time we talked.

Since 2009, we have talked on the phone a few times, and I’ve shared a video that featured an interview with Frank to several friends, but our paths have not crossed. And now they won’t cross until the day we meet again in Heaven.

I know that there is great relief for believers when it comes to the hope we have in Heaven. In 1 Corinthians 15 Paul writes of the beautiful hope of a future with God, where the corruptible, mortal bodies that clothe our spirits today, will be replaced with incorruptible, immortal bodies of glorious mystery! John tells us in Revelation, that when human history ends as we know it today, tears and death and sorrow will be eliminated from our existence. Peter tells us that in an instant God will destroy this old world, and it will be replaced with a perfect world, unbroken by sin, and ready for our eternal pleasure.

But...

Before that glorious future is ours, there is the grim reality that death permeates this life. In 1 Thessalonians 4 Paul reminds us, “...you must not carry on over them [deceased believers] like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word” (The Message). The NIV reads like this: “...do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” Notice that we aren’t told to “not grieve” but rather, to not grieve like those who live without Christ.

It’s not a quality of super spiritual Christians to not grieve, it’s just that we’re not supposed to grieve like the hopeless. Since we belong to Christ, we belong to Hope, true hope, that rests in the resurrection of Jesus from the grave. Death evokes grief, even from Jesus (John 11:33-35), because it’s not the way things are supposed to be. We were created to live in perfect communion with God, but sin mucks-up everything. Instead of harmony, love, joy and life, we live with the reality that those virtues are often overshadowed by conflict, hate, anger and death. Those things should stir some grief in our hearts.

So I’m grieving the loss of my friend, as I know you have had to grieve the loss of people in your life, too. I know Bishop Frank is in glory, and I rejoice in his gain, but I grieve the loss that Carmen and her children must feel, I grieve the loss that me and many of Frank’s friends have in our hearts and I grieve the loss of Frank from the broken people he served in Kensington. Death stinks.

But...

Hope is spiritual F’breeze that covers the stench of loss. Christ’s death and resurrection allows us to “spread the aroma of the knowledge of Him everywhere” (2 Corinthians 2:14). In that knowledge we rest certain of our future, and anyone’s future who has put their faith in the gift God gave us, when He sent Jesus to pay for our sins. Death stinks, but hope springs eternal for those who will trust in Christ.

The Overboard Life will include walking the pathway of grief. Grief is inescapable in this life, but it doesn’t have to be experienced without hope. If we truly live life out of the comfort of the boat, and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom, we will be great purveyors of that hope -- even as we walk the path of grief ourselves.

I feel fairly certain that my friend, Frank Vega, entered glory to the seven words I long to hear, when the time for my departure flight from this life into the next, arrives: “Well done, [you] good and faithful servant!” I smile when I think about the first time he saw Jesus face-to-face, and I imagine Frank has already been given a glimpse of far God allowed his ministry to reach.

Death stinks, but its power is nothing compared to the greatness of my God. So I grieve with hope, and I want to live with the kind of selfless love that Frank did, and that his wife Carmen and their family, I’m sure, are continuing after his departure. Because they too, know the power of hope that can only come from Christ. Do you?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- even in the face of death! -- is always better on the water.

Living between dreams and doubts

Last Thursday night my family packed up our belongings, again, loaded up the van, again, and moved into some temporary housing, again. This time, our temporary housing is in the vicinity of where we hope to set up a more permanent home in August, and where we hope Overboard Ministries will be unleashed to be all that God wants it -- and us -- to be! When we arrived here in Kalakaska, we met up with some good friends and celebrated, with pizza and pie, the passing of one part of our journey. After moving to Michigan two years and three months ago for one job, God has redirected us toward this new adventure in a place, that until a year ago, we didn’t even know existed! We are chasing a God-sized dream that has been burning in our hearts for quite some time, and while the future seems a little blurry, the next step (maybe even the next two steps, but certainly no further) is right in front of us. The dream is beginning to take shape.

And the doubts are bigger than they’ve ever been.

Have you ever lived in that tension between your dreams and your doubts?

The scope of what we’re about to undertake is intensely exciting, and it is terrifying. (Thus we’ve coined the phrase, “Excitifying” and use it quite frequently around our house.) As a husband, I feel the strain that I’m putting on my wife. There has been, and at least for the immediate future will continue to be, a great deal of uncertainty. We don’t know exactly where we will be staying, 90% of our earthly possessions are in storage and we are truly living on the goodness and kindness of friends and fellow dream-sharers. My wife is a rock, and she takes care of our family in extraordinary ways, and is doing so in the midst of deep uncertainty.

As a dad, I feel the burden that I’m putting on my children. AJ is about to enter the 9th grade, and will be doing so in a brand new school with kids he did not attend junior high with, and whom he does not know. BJ is switching from 6th grade to 7th grade, and moving to a new middle school that doesn’t have choir (one of her true passions) and is smaller in three grades (6-8) than her previous 6th grade class alone. CJ is leaving a great school that loves her and what she brings academically and socially (3rd grade student of the year!), to enter a 4th and 5th grade only, Jr. High prep school. They load up the van like troopers on one end, and unload it like moving professionals on the other, and yet I can tell the bed-shifting, suitcase-packing, school-changing gypsie-life is taking its toll.

As a man, I feel the weight of wanting to provide, for my family, the basic comforts of a home, the relief of a steady paycheck and the peace of mind that comes with good insurance, retirement contributions and a growing nest egg. Today, however, none of those are realities. More than once I’ve wondered if I’m making a mistake pressing on toward this dream, questioning whether or not the burden of moving forward will be worth it for my wife and my children. Honestly, I think the burden is almost multiplied by their unwavering trust and the way they’ve embraced each new move “forward.”

The doubts that once were subtly in the background are now fully exposed, and they are ugly, vocal and stalking me in my thoughts, my planning and even in my dreams at night.

Friday morning, after our first night sleeping in the Starwood Ranch, I woke up and pondered my night of restlessness and the attack I felt in my sleep. Literally, I dreamed of failure over and over again, and I had to shake off the sleep reminding myself that those were images provided by doubt (and maybe the pizza and coke I enjoyed before bed!), and not the realities in front of us. I had to remember that the giant doubts are present, because the dream God has embedded in my heart and mind is massive! When the dream was little, the doubts were in the background -- they didn’t need to appear since I wasn’t pursuing the God-given vision with any fire. As soon as the dream became my focus, the doubts emerged with an unholy fervor. The size of your doubts will be proportionate to the size of your dreams.

I stumbled in and out of the shower Friday, then sat down to blog. Before I typed a word, I picked up my Bible and began reading in Genesis 12, where God first connects with Abraham (then called Abram). In the first verse Moses writes, “The Lord had said to Abram, ‘leaver your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.’”

Notice the phrase, “...the land I will show you.” In other words, God was moving Abraham and his family, and Abraham had to trust God that this land existed, and that God would reveal it in time. The dream was huge as God had promised Abraham, “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great and you will be a blessing...and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” In order to embrace the dream, Abraham had to embrace the unknown and follow the Lord.

And when they arrived in the land of promise, it wasn’t ready for Abraham. Look at verse six: “Abram traveled through the land...At that time, the Canaanites were in the land.” So he visits his future home only to find out it already has occupants (occupants, by the way, who weren’t thrilled at the idea of giving their land to someone else!), then leaves the area and settles outside of the region, and ultimately, just a short time later, leaves the country in order to survive a severe famine.

I wonder what kinds of doubts Abraham had to fight? Occupied land? Famine? (How great could this land be if there were famine issues?!) Some of them are revealed, like at the end of the chapter 12 when he lies about his marriage to Sarah in order to save his own life or in chapter 16 where Abraham tried to speed up God’s promise by having a child with a woman who wasn’t his wife. In chapter 18 Sarah laughs at God’s direct word promising them a child (she was almost 90!) and I wonder if Abraham shared in her doubts (he was almost 100!). After all, how could Abraham’s children inherit the land of promise and all of God’s blessings...if they didn’t exist?!

Without question, Abraham occasionally stumbled under the weight of his doubts, but he always managed to get back on the path that led to the dream. Ultimately, his faith was bigger than his fears and he reaped the reward of trusting in the Dream Giver. Hebrews 11 describes his journey like this:

“By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents...For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. By faith Abraham, even though he was past age -- and Sarah herself was barren -- was enabled to become a father because he considered Him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.”

So Friday morning I acknowledged my doubts as a husband, father and as a man. I recognized my fear of failure and the sense that the task in front of me seems preposterously overwhelming. Then I chose courage, like Abraham before me, in the One who gave the dream and in whom there is no fear or doubt worthy to be in His presence. While I can’t see how He will pull it all together, I am confident that we are on the right path, and that the monumental task in front of us is nothing compared to the greatness of our God. The doubts are out on the water with us, screaming for us to get back in the boat, but He who called us stands confidently next to us, speaking clearly, yet quietly, urging us to keep trusting Him. I hear His sweet voice, and by His grace and strength, I will hold this course.

What about you? Are you living in the tension between doubts and dreams? Let me encourage you to root yourself, even deeper, in the One who gives the dream. Spend time in His Word daily, speak to Him often in prayer and surround yourself with those who will run the race with you. One of my life verses, Ephesians 3:20, continues to stand out -- almost daily! -- in my thoughts: “God can do anything, you know, far more than you could ever imagine, guess or request in your wildest dreams” (The Msg). What ever He has in store for us next, I know that being out on the water with Him is the best place for me and my family.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always best -- even...maybe especially!...when your doubts are biggest! -- out on the water!

Joshua Duggar should rot

The recent story of Joshua Duggar, and his 12-year-old sexual misconduct conviction, has ripped through the news. Now 27, Joshua admitted to unspecified inappropriate sexual behavior involving girls when he was 15, and this seems to coincide with an Arkansas State Police report from the same time (approximately 2006) involving “forcible molestation.” However, the police report, in order to protect the minors involved, has been heavily redacted, and now expunged, so names and details don’t show on the report.

As news of this reached TLC, they quickly pulled the plug on their hit show, 19 Kids and Counting, a reality program about the Duggar family, their faith in God and how they’ve raised 19 children. Because Christian culture is in the limelight, the fallout from this type of move is significant. There are some who feel TLC is persecuting this family because of their faith, even though TLC did something similar to the family show, Honey Boo Boo, when one of its main stars was allegedly dating a pedophile. Others are outraged by Joshua’s behavior, teenager or not, and think the punishment was fitting, even though Joshua already faced civil prosecution according to Arkansas law, sought counseling and offered help to his victims.

Let’s face it, there are no acceptable excuses for perpetrators of sexual abuse. Sex crimes carry with them severe long-term pain for the victims, and the monsters behind those crimes deserve severe punishment.

Personally, I think Joshua Duggar should rot for his crimes. And while I’m at it, so should you.

Maybe you’re not a confessed sexual abuser, but I’m sure you have a list of crimes (illegal or otherwise) that you should rot for, too. Let me know if any of these would register on your record:

Gossiping: I think there are few crimes more devastating, yet more acceptable, in our culture than Gossip. Gossip fuels rivalries, breaks up relationships, stirs distrust, ruins the workplace and splits churches faster than almost any other type of crime. We all hate it, yet most of us participate in it at some level.

Lying: A close cousin of Gossip, but far more deadly and deliberate. In gossip, I might spread an untruth but genuinely not know. “I heard it from so and so...” and spread it like bubonic. With a lie, I know what I’m saying isn’t true, and yet I share it anyway. Lies drove a young teenage cheerleader in Florida to take her own life last year. Lies have corrupted presidencies, destroyed pastors, landed people in jail, ruined marriages, split up families and started wars. Lying might be the most sinister crime of all (it was the first crime ever committed).

Power abuse: Have you ever abused your position of authority? Have you ever taken your frustration out on a child or spouse, a co-worker, employee or sub-contractor? In the Christian world, I’ve seen far too many pastors, elders, counselors, camp directors, association leaders, deacons, choir directors and ministry leaders who have misused their authority for their own gain. In the church, it’s usually veiled in a “I’m doing what’s best for the [insert cause/organizaiton/church here]” but most often reeks of personal gain. Outside the church walls, power abuse is a daily headline, from politicians to corrupt CEOs, from sports organizations to non-profit fundraising groups, where ever there is power and authority, there is the possibility that abuse is happening.

Lust: Here’s a crime that likes to sneak under the radar. Unlike the other three listed above, lust hides primarily in your thought life. Lust can camouflage itself in any environment, and can slowly release its venom for years. Decades. Sometimes called “Window shopping” or excused for “I look but I don’t touch,” lust corrupts the beauty of sex and turns it into a self-focused, self-pleasing experience. Lust turns other humans into objects, and fuels an industry for trafficked people around the world. Lust is not a victimless crime, yet we’re sold its virtues everyday online, on billboards and newspaper ads and television commercials.

I could go on, but I suspect that if you’re anything like me, I’ve already struck at something connected to you.

I don’t know the extent of Josh Duggar’s crimes, and neither do most of you. Right now, after reading hours of online stories and documents, the details of his offense are protected. His victims are, at this point, silent, and to the best of my knowledge, the legal, civil and spiritual consequences have been met. His crime is inexcusable, and his victims will live with his actions for the rest of their lives (as a pastor for almost 20 years, I’ve seen the devastating impact of this kind of personal violation), and he will bear the guilt, shame and, now, public disgrace as a result. What else should happen to him? I’m not sure I can answer that objectively.

Yet I wonder what would happen to you or me if our crimes were brought to light? What if your texts were broadcast to everyone, your browser history exposed on Facebook or your private conversations made public? What if your secret thoughts were televised nationally or your past indiscretions exposed on the evening news? What would we think about you? What would you think about me?

As I’ve read about the Duggar case I have come to at least three conclusions:

1. All of us are guilty, it’s just that not all of us are exposed for our guilt. Romans 3:23 makes it plain that everyone commits crimes (legal or otherwise, the Bible calls these crimes, “sin”), and every crime is worthy of punishment. Josh’s “forced molestation” is heinous, just as your gossip, my lying, your power abuse and my lust are the vilest of offenses. Don’t down play your crimes because they are unknown or socially acceptable, own the fact that you are guilty, too.
2. Admitting guilt is the hardest step, but it puts us on the best path. When news broke of Joshua Duggar’s crime, I admired this about his response: He owned it out of the gate (as far as I can tell), and accepted responsibility without a “but” (“I did it...but it wasn’t my fault...”). When’s the last time you looked at your list of crimes and owned them? When’s the last time you confessed them, even publicly (when appropriate), and began the process of restoration (when appropriate)? (Quick soap box: Restoration does not mean that a human relationship can be restored to its prior place. Restoration means that sin has been acknowledged, forgiveness has been granted, and offender and victim are restored to their right place with God. Consequences may continue, and the relationship may be forever changed, but restoration can still be a reality.) [end of soap box] You and I are only as sick as the secrets we keep, so admit your own crimes and begin the process toward health!
3. God’s justice and mercy are compatible, and His grace surrounds both. It seems that many responses to this Duggar scandal have been either justice (“I hope he rots in prison!”) or mercy (“He did the right thing, we should all forgive him!”). The truth is, God is the ultimate example of both, and neither His mercy or justice trumps the other, and both are filtered through His grace. God perfectly gives us what we deserve (justice), yet because of His mercy (not giving us what we do deserve) we’re not all dead. Holy justice means God can’t look away from our sin, it must be punished, and that punishment is death here, and eternal separation in the next life. In the same vein however, God withholds the full brunt of His judgement (mercy), giving us what we need (grace) in order to be changed into the likeness of His Son. When I cry out for God’s full justice to be unloaded on anyone (the sex abuser, the gossip, the power abuser, the liar or the pervert), I should ask God to do the same to me; and falling headlong into the full wrath of God’s full justice is a horrible place to be.

At the end of the day I realize I want mercy and grace in my life. I mess up and I know I deserve God’s unshielded, unbiased judgement, and I sit here today thankful that He provides mercy and grace. No matter what I feel about Joshua Duggar’s crimes, I want the same for Him, too. Because if there’s no mercy for Josh, there’s no mercy for me. That doesn’t excuse his sin, and it doesn’t require the removal of legal, social or public punishment that may come with it, any more than it excuses my sin or removes the punishment due me. His story just brings to light that all of us are guilty, all of us are in God’s justice system, and all of us are doomed without God’s grace and mercy.

I hope the reports I’ve read about Joshua Duggar’s confession and restoration are correct. I hope his victims have found help and healing through counselors who point them to Christ, and true hope through God who loves and restores the brokenhearted. I pray that you, too, will find healing for the crimes that have been forged against you, and that you and I will be reminded of the crimes we’ve committed against others, and do our part to undo the harm we’ve perpetrated.

May we all live aware of God's justice, be thankful for His mercy and be distributors of His grace.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

Today we remember.

I spent Friday with my wife in DC, and during our one-day tour, we spent some quality time at the World War II monument set up by President George W. Bush in 2004. It’s a beautiful and somber memorial dedicated to the memory of those who fought bravely against vicious Japanese soldiers, those who marched through the trenches and rain-soaked battlefields of Europe, those who endured unspeakable atrocities at the hands of evil people in prison camps and for all who served and for all those who paid the ultimate price in The Great War.

War is always terrible. I don’t mean that war is always wrong, but the realities of war are gruesome. Wives lose husbands, children lose their mothers, parents see their children die as the ravages of war devastate people without partiality.

Yet, through the devastation and loss, extraordinary stories of heroes arise. People who almost always deny their own heroism -- people who say, “I just did what any of my comrades would have done.” In fact, many of their comrades fell attempting the same acts of courage and bravery. In the U.S. War display in the Smithsonian American History Museum, we heard stories that make you ask yourself, “Would I do that for my country?”

Like the nurses who moved through enemy lines to tend to wounded soldiers, or the pilots who pushed their jets to the limits, even choosing to finish a task as fuel ran out and their only option was a crash-landing. Or the story about an 18-year-old soldier who crashed the shores of Normandy, clutching a gun and a picture of his girl, knowing he was about to face an enemy that would strike down many. Over 4,000 allied soldiers died that day, including 2,500 Americans. (Today, by contrast, around 5,000 U.S. soldiers have died in the Middle East conflict. So half that numbered died on Normandy in just six hours!)

I recently read a book about a young man who grew up in a war-torn European country, who, at age 10, helped resist Nazi occupation. When Allied forces broke in and fought back the Germans, he and his family help bury the dead soldiers who had fallen on their farm. In many instances, they removed dog tags from fallen warriors and, without the aid of the internet, and barely with the help of the phone, were able to track down addresses for those soldiers so that family could be contacted and the fate of these heroes could be known.

Today we remember the fallen. Today we pray for those who are still serving our country in fields around the world. Today we thank the veterans of past wars and service, those who fought, those who protected, and those who were readied, even if -- thankfully -- they were never called to face the grimness of war. Today we ache for those wives and children, for those boyfriends and parents, for those in-laws and cousins, for those schools, roommates, communities and churches that don’t know the fate of a loved one. Today we ask God to free the imprisoned solider and to break down the wickedness in the world that enslaves innocent people and destroys freedom. Today we set aside our political preferences and agendas, and we gratefully acknowledge the bravery of the fine men and women who make up our armed forces.

Today we pray for The Day that will bring ultimate peace to this world, the day Jesus returns and establishing a perfect Kingdom rooted in perfect peace. We pray for the joyous moment to come, when wars will cease, and lives will no longer be senselessly lost at the hands of violent and evil men. We pray for God to bring true justice that punishes evil, and true righteousness that rewards the faithful. On that day, humanity will finally rest from being at war since the days of creation.

Until then, may God bless those who fight wickedness in this world, who stand to oppose injustice and who are the line in the sand against those who enslave women and children, imprison the innocent and destroy, steal and plunder the poor. May God protect, empower and give wisdom to those brave men and women, and may we always be thankful for the service and sacrifice of each of them.

Today we remember that freedom isn’t free.

Weekend benders and other problems when mom leaves town.

Last weekend (the weekend before Mother’s Day) was a fairly bad weekend and I largely have myself to blame. Sure, I could throw all sorts of excuses at you, but in the end, I only need to look in the mirror to see the culprit behind last week’s debacle. You see, my wife was gone on a four day retreat with ladies from our church, so it was a dad weekend with the kids. Normally, those weekends usually go off without a hitch, but not last weekend. When I think back to where things fell apart, it doesn’t take much to see where I went wrong.

Thursday night: After hanging out at the library watching a super cool presentation on the Pacific Crest Trail, I headed to the grocery store with a small list. I ended up buying a few extra items, all of which contributed to my #parentfail weekend. My list included items for make-your-own pizza, while the extras included a mountain or Oreo cookies (we need dessert, right?), chocolate milk and Coke (hey, mom’s gone, and the kids will think I’m cool) and a few other unnecessary, “dad’s cool,” items.

Friday night: First, the only good good move of the weekend, was when I took the kids to the park and let them burn off a bunch of energy before dinner. (That concludes my parenting weekend successes). We fixed dinner (a little late) and then made sure everyone had several dozen Oreos, drank ourselves silly with an endless fountain of Coke and chocolate milk, then stayed up well-past midnight watching movies together.

Saturday morning: The kids were up by 7:30 (we usually help them sleep 9-10 hours a night), and they plopped themselves right back in front of the TV until almost 11. Why? Because it was easier to let them veg out then to have to actually offer good parenting. By 11am it dawned on me that over the previous 16 hours, I had allowed by kids to watch 9 hours of TV (movies, Sponge Bob and more Sponge Bob). I don’t know about your house, but without a doubt, TV consumption increases fights, irritability, eating and general family chaos. And since our kids are used to a couple of hours of TV over a whole weekend, this overdose was beginning to take effect.

Saturday afternoon: By 1pm, I had already refereed several fights, comforted multiple bouts of tears, repeated these phrases a dozen times each: “Please take a deep breath” and “Think before you speak” and “Please, for the love of all things holy, stop farting in the kitchen!” and, “I’m going to sell all three of you on eBay later today.”

I won’t bore you with more details of my epic weekend.

Have you ever had moments like that? You ever a weekend go bad (with kids, with your spouse, with friends, with work or family)? You ever had a whole week, or month, just bite-it because you made a series of bad decisions? We all have, and here are a few lessons I learned after my weekend bender with the kids.

Bad decisions lead to other bad decisions: As I was thinking about this blog post, I was reminded of a Facebook thread I read a while back. A guy I don’t know well, had posted about the end of his week. Apparently the last couple days of work had been awful, and on Friday he blew up, cursed out his boss, and was sent home early. He described the situation on Facebook, and concluded with, “Anyone want to help me forget about this week by meeting me at [x] bar?” Saturday he posted that the weekend was not improving as he woke up with a nasty headache and felt like a “flu” truck had run him over. Sunday he picked up a speeding ticket trying to get back to his house so he could get some decent sleep to start the week off better than the previous one had started/ended.

Think about that progression: Cursed out his boss (bad choice), drank himself silly (bad choice) woke up severely hung over (bad choice) sped home to avoid starting a week poorly (bad choice) and ultimately started Monday much worse off than he ended Friday (which wasn’t great to begin with!). One bad choice -- choosing not to control his temper -- led to a whole series of bad choices, each compounding the situation.

I did the same thing to my kids over the weekend. My wife generally feeds the family pretty healthy meals and we try to avoid sugaring up the kids excessively. Over the years we’ve seen how much diet affects attitude and outlook on life. We also try to limit how much screen time they get because we’ve seen the connection between how much screen time they get, and how much more arguing and fighting happens. I loaded them up with tons of sugar and then let them veg-out for hours.

Getting a mountain of Oreos wasn’t bad in and of itself, but adding the chocolate milk and coke compounded the one decision. Adding in a family movie wasn’t a bad idea by itself, but turning Movie Night into Movie Coma Night really exaggerated the issues we faced the next day. Usually, when we make one intentionally bad decision, we set ourselves up to make many, because bad decisions are like gum on the bottom of your shoe -- they attract all the garbage on which you step.

Solomon said it this way: “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats their folly” (Proverbs 26:11, NIV).

Bad decisions usually lead to blame: Like politicians, bad decisions like to hang out in groups and blame others. Once bad decisions start piling up in our lives, we usually start blaming others for the situations that result. Traci and I know a family that has a legacy of bad decision making, one that often involves illegal activities. It’s amazing how often we’ll hear this family blame the police or blame their neighbors or blame someone for making their lives so awful. The reality is their daily choices leave them in such a pit of despair and emptiness, they just need someone else to blame so that they don’t have to stop making bad choices.

I’ve seen it in leadership, I’ve seen it in the church and in the workplace, and I’ve seen it glaringly in my own life: when people suffer the consequences of bad decisions, blaming others is an easy way to feel better (at least in the short-term). But since the problem doesn’t ultimately rest with others, blaming does nothing to solve the real problem.

Bad decisions are just one decisions away from dying: No matter how bad the decisions are that we’ve made, it only takes one right choice to start putting an end to they cycle of making bad decisions. Once we own our mistakes, we can start dealing with the consequences (since we’re not blaming others) and start looking for a new way to see and experience life. It’s simple, but not easy!

My friend Tim, from Texas, used to clock in at close to 500 pounds. I didn’t know him back then, but he would be the first to tell you that he was making a lot of bad decisions when it came to his health (and of course, there were a lot of “good reasons” for those choices). Finally, the day came where he made just one choice, and it was a choice that would change his health forever, as he determined 500 pounds wasn’t going to cut it for the quality of life he desired. Not that long ago, Tim posted on Facebook that he had dropped below the 250 pound mark, and he was still going strong.

Bad decisions compound in a hurry, but so do good ones! When we embrace the journey God has given us, and when we own the times we’ve chosen poorly, made it more complicated than it needed to be or we just blew it, then we can get back on track in a hurry. Just like a whole bunch of bad decisions had Tim tipping the scale at 500 lbs, a whole bunch of good ones helped him reclaim his life.

Thankfully, my weekend was saved before Traci got home on Sunday. Saturday afternoon I fed the kids a decent lunch, kicked them outside to enjoy a “warm” northern Michigan day (hey, 50 degrees is practically Summer around here!) and then had them help with dinner later that night. They all had hot showers, we enjoyed the movie National Treasure before bed, and we took some time to thank God for our situation, for Traci’s retreat weekend and, in CJ’s words, “A great day!” Sunday, Traci came home to three kids that were clean, mostly fed and all generally pretty happy. She might submit my name for Dad of the Year, and just between you and me, let’s not ruin the magic.

The point is simple: one good decision on Saturday allowed for more good decisions, which ultimately changed the whole outcome of our weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not promising rainbows and butterflies or health and financial blessing because you make one good decision today, what I am promising is that life is always better after a good choice. Solomon reminds us that it is truly a blessed life to live with wisdom (Proverbs 13:3), to live with good choices, even if your circumstances haven’t changed.

I wish all bad decisions could be remedied in the course of an afternoon. I am thankful, however, that in an afternoon, regardless of the misery I’ve caused myself in the past, I can make a choice that can lead me out of the foolishness I’ve temporarily embraced. What decision do you need to make today, in order to start reversing a bad trend in your life? Maybe you need to make the choice to seek God’s forgiveness or the forgiveness of someone near you. Maybe you need to hire a coach or personal trainer. Maybe you need to seek accountability from a trusted friend. Maybe you just need to publicly declare an intention to move forward. Whatever it is, remember, you’re just one good choice away from starting something great in your life.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

When your son thinks "penal" is a medical term

A few weeks backs, I posted this story on Facebook:

A couple of nights ago, the kids and I were watching America's Funniest Videos, while AJ was finishing up a school project he missed while on our road trip. He needed to define words and then categorize them. (For example, he defined "pulmonary" and then placed it under the "medical" column.) I was watching as his eyes got big, and instead of just asking out loud for the definition of the word (which he had already done several times) he slipped me the paper with a snicker. He said, "I didn't want the girls to hear this one!" The words was "Penal." He was preparing to put the word under "Medical" when I assured him it belonged under "legal." I explained the word to him and then he, Traci and I wept tears of laughter.

I have a suspicion the “penal” story will circulate in our family for years to come. Even as I write this, I’m snickering as I think about AJ’s reaction, and the moment of realization when he understood the meaning of the word. As my friend Taylor said on a follow-up comment, “To be fair, that one is pretty confusing.” Indeed, and that confusion created a good laugh.

Thankfully, the definition for penal can be quickly explained and AJ won’t have to face massive embarrassment in his adult life when reading about some legal proceedings in the newspaper. Even if he did, barring that he became a lawyer with that same misunderstood knowledge, it wouldn’t take much to fix his thinking.

Other confusing concepts can be significantly more detrimental to someone’s life and growth.

Like many of you, Traci and I are on a great journey of faith right now. It’s interesting how some view this step of obedience as blind or reckless. That belief comes from a misunderstanding about how people have defined the word, "faith." Here are a few thoughts about what it means to live by faith.

Faith isn’t blind. Yes, there are times in life where we “step out” of the comfort of the boat and out onto the water, trusting Jesus to take care of us. But even in Matthew 14, where Overboard Ministries has its origins, Peter’s act of obedience to walk on water, wasn’t “blind!” Look at the passage. First, Jesus called him out of the boat, so Peter already had the assurance that Christ was behind this ridiculous expression of his faith. Second, Jesus was on the water where Peter was being asked to travel. In other words, Peter could see that Jesus was already doing what He was asking Peter to do. Third, Jesus’ rebuke of Peter for losing site of the goal (“You of little faith...why did you doubt?”) reminded Peter that when Jesus calls us to something, He empowers us for the task at hand. Faith isn’t blind.

Those same principles are true for our lives. If Jesus is calling you into action (and I believe He is calling all of His children to action, Ephesians 2:10), you have assurance that He is with you, and for you. According to Hebrews 4:15, Jesus knows what our life experience is like -- He lived here on earth, as the Son of God, fully God yet fully man! He knows what this life is about, and understands, experientially, what we’re going through. Finally, Jesus’ rebuke of Peter rings through the ages to you and me. Doubt, fear and anxiety are tools of the enemy to keep us from following the Lord. James 1 tells us, “...you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance...” God wants to stretch our faith to build lasting character.

Faith isn’t blind.

Faith isn’t the absence of knowledge. I have a dear friend who doesn’t know the Lord, and who, on more than one occasion, has accused Christians of using “faith” as a crutch to compensate for their lack of knowledge. He especially believes this at it pertains to science and the origins of the universe. Hebrews 11:3 says, “By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.” My friend would say, “See, faith is your source of understanding because of your [a Christian’s] lack of knowledge!”

I love what the writer of Hebrews is telling us in this verse. “What is seen” -- in this case, he is talking about the created universe -- points us to an invisible Creator. It’s not the absence of knowledge, but the fact that we look around and realize that nothing else in the universe, no atoms, no scientific theory, no natural law, and nothing duplicated in the world around us, can explain the origins of the universe. Each of these theories lacks a common problem -- a “first cause.” The writer of Hebrews says we see the world, we can understand much of what it is, and we know that someone outside of creation had to bring it into being. God is the first cause.

The Psalmist said something very similar in Psalm 19: “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge” (19:1-2). David, the author of Psalm 19, is telling us that creation screams one message clearly, “There is a God that put all of this into motion!” My knowledge of the world, my understanding of the laws of nature and creation actually point me back to God, not away from Him.

Faith isn’t the absence of knowledge, it’s the recognition that knowledge has its roots in truth, and truth is rooted in the Almighty God of creation!

Faith is never static. Ultimately, too many Christians see faith as a “belief in an idea” or something in their heart. That’s half right, but the other half of faith is crucial; faith must be active! James 2:17 says it clearest: “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” I love how The Message paraphrases this verse: “Isn’t it clear that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?”

Faith in God isn’t dead belief, it’s a life-giving conviction that there is a reason, bigger than me, to get up each day. It’s an unshakeable belief that the Almighty Creator God gives life and breath to everyone, and living life for Him is the greatest cause to which we can devote ourselves. It’s a rock-solid foundation for life that allows us to weather any storm, comforted in the knowledge that everything in life occurs for our good and God’s ultimate glory. Faith in God graciously fixes my life path toward an end that God knows, and one which He asks me to actively follow, trusting that what I see and know about Him, is enough to take the next step.

If you’ve been playing it safe in life, living in the safety and apparent comfort of the boat because you have a bad understanding of faith, I hope you will listen to God and follow Him today. He rarely shows us the whole path, but almost always lays out the next step. Will you take the next step with Him? Will you see who God is and what He is doing, and take the next step? Will you seek to understand Him and His work around you, and in that renewed knowledge and understanding, take the next step? Will you put action to your faith, and take the next step?

Traci and I wouldn’t choose to be on any other journey. It’s not always easy, but the growth and challenge we’re experiencing is worth the work. We don’t know exactly where this path will end, but we know the One who leads us, and in faith, we’re following Him. Not blindly. Not foolishly. Not passively.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

Dirty words.

It’s not a 4-letter word, but to many, “accountability” is still a dirty word. When I was younger, I think I worried that accountability showed some sort of weakness in my person or character. As I aged, I realized...it did! However, embracing accountability not only exposes my flaws, it also reveals a great strength: humble recognition that I can’t do this life on my own. If I am going to achieve my best, it will happen because of the help and influence of others.

Accountability is huge for my success, and I can confidently say it’s huge for yours, too. Here are a few ways accountability is working in my life:

1. My computer is armed with software to help protect me and my family -- and keep me on track -- while surfing the web. That software reminds me that everything I’m doing on the web needs to be God-honoring.
2. I wear an "Up" health band. Up records my exercise and sleep each day, then posts it online for my wife and friends to see. (If you’re using “Up” by Jawbone, add me to your team. (@joeacast)
3. Now that I’m working more from home, my wife is able to see my work each day. She can see when I’m loafing or when I’m working too much. Just last week she helped me see that I was totally blowing off the kids to finish a couple of encouragement notes to others. How ironic, I’m trying to encourage other people, and neglecting my own children to do it. Hmmmm.
4. This blog has some built-in accountability. When I’ve missed a posting day or two (I usually post on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays) it’s not uncommon to get a call, text or email form someone wondering if everything is ok. I cringe when I get one of those notes and I don’t have anything going, but the accountability is good and helps me work hard to stay ahead of the game.
5. When I travel, or when my wife travels and leaves me home, I have a couple buddies who call and make sure I’m doing ok. These guys want to see me be successful, and they are eager to help me make sure I’m making the most of my time.
6. I have another couple friends that ask me about my marriage quite frequently. They ask if I’m honoring my commitment to date Traci regularly. Especially during this particularly stressful season of life, they’ve been asking about our marriage and whether or not I’m doing my job to provide for, and take care of, Traci.
7. When I’m working on a book, I set up a small team of people to help me meet my writing goals. They know my schedule and my deadlines, and they pray for me along the way, and ask keep me track.

The reality is that all of us need help in this life, and God has hard-wired us for relationships in order to find that help. From day one, He gave Eve to Adam (and Adam to Eve!) and all throughout Scripture you find the value and power of teamwork, friendship and accountability. So what happens when we don’t have that accountability?

1. We treat people as property, and leave a wake of damaged relationships in our past. People without accountability often have few real friends and use their work as a shield to hide their insecurities or arrogance (or both). It’s hard to maintain good relationships when you live life without the input of others.
2. We fall behind in our work, as no one is around to ask about details, confirm deadlines or even know what we’re working toward. A stay-at-home mom, a CEO, a college student or a Southern California pool boy can become lazy and ineffective, addicted to Netflix or video games, a busybody or micromanager when they live without meaningful input from others.
3. We blame others for our failures, because no one in our lives is giving us the perspective we need. I’ve known too many leaders who operate without solid accountability, and they are professional blamers when it comes to organizational short-comings because it’s easier to blame a subordinate then it is to see yourself as the problem (or at least part of the problem). My lead pastor in Salem, Oregon, set a stellar example of submitting himself to accountability. More than once I saw him listen as a member of the Elder board, or a member of the congregation, confronted or challenged him on something related to his leadership. He was always willing (and eager!) to learn from those moments, and able to admit his own flaws when necessary. Accountability allowed him to see mistakes or shortcoming he maybe couldn’t see himself. That’s a good thing!
4. We put up a front that hides major problems behind. As a pastor in the Pacific NW for almost 17 years, and now having served in Michigan for over two, I’ve seen too many ministries fall apart because a pastor held up a great facade while his marriage or personal purity or financial integrity was in shambles. When no one is asking us the hard questions, it’s too easy for us to hide the trash.
5. We never realize our true God-given potential, because that potential is connected to the relationships God has given us. Leaders fail to get their organizations to their goals, marriages never reach the intimacy either spouse desires, families live in constant tension and people settle for ordinary lives because they neglect accountability.

Do any of those items resonate with you? If so, you might be lacking accountability in some area(s) of your life. Trust me, you can’t live the Overboard Life without the help of others, so the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can begin moving toward the goals, and ultimately toward the life, God has given you.

When I look at this list I know I’ve been guilty of each of these byproducts of living life without accountability. I’m thankful for the men and women who’ve stepped up to help me, for the ones who said yes when I asked, and for the ones who simply invited themselves into my life. In each case, the accountability has helped me live my God-designed life out of the comfort of the boat.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

Finally 4!

You probably noticed that we’re starting to wear our big-boy pants. You know, the ones that have a zipper and a button, not just an elastic waistband? Sure, they still have the adjustable stretchy thing on the inside, but all pants should have those, right? We’re also sleeping through the night, using silverware somewhat effectively at most of our meals, we know how to count to 25, can use an iPad better than most 50-year-olds and, honestly, I don’t think we’ve had an accident in almost a year -- we’re sooo past that phase. That’s right, Overboard Ministries just turned four.

Now that we’ve grown up so much, it’s already time for us to get out on our own. Wow, feels like just yesterday we were birthed and now we’re being kicked out...er...overboard. (Feels kinda like Megamind: “8 days old and I’m still living with my parents...how embarrassing.”)

Thank you for following us on this exciting/terrifying, exhilarating/sobering, gargantuan/humbling and faith building journey. As we look back over the past four years, we are truly blown away by what God has done, and by the path He has given us to travel. We started Overboard with the idea of publishing one book (Project Joseph), and building a small ministry of encouragement to couples, pastors and youth pastors, and maybe one day expanding into ministry mentorship/coaching for those going into full-time youth ministry.

Today we’ve published 9 titles, we have 2 more that will be released in the next month, and 6 more that are in the editing process. Today we are building a partnership with Starwood Ranch where we are praying about building the first Overboard Ministry Center, a place to invest in pastors and youth pastors and their wives, as well as marriages and families. Already a team of people are gathering around that endeavor and we’ve been in talks with several others about expanding Overboard Ministries’ reach into other areas and fields. A mentorship program for youth ministry majors is being developed and we’re having conversations with others about some pretty big, out-of-the-boat, concepts.

While we didn’t get to this place the way we intended, we have clearly been directed by God to be in this place at this time. (Check out this post about unexpected stop signs, or this one about God’s plans for our lives). And we know that as we move forward, our partnerships, with friends like you, will continue to grow. You are the people who read the blog, send the encouraging notes, share our crazy ideas, buy our books, offer helpful criticism, and pray with us believing that God is behind all of this.

Thank you.

We are excited to keep moving toward the big dreams God has placed in our hearts, and as we do, we humbly depend on support from an army of great people. If you would like to join our monthly financial support team, please click here. We are well on our way to finding 100 monthly supporters (So far, gifts have ranged from $10-$125/mo, -- the average has been $50. You can join at any level and share in the work of Overboard thru your giving!), and if you’d like to join that team we would be incredibly humbled and eternally grateful.

Likewise, we truly want to build a prayer team that is informed (weekly) and active in their prayer support for this ministry. Click here to be added to that prayer list and to be updated with current requests each week. If you sign up for our financial team, you will automatically be added to our prayer team.

Stay-tuned, God’s work in and thru Overboard is just beginning, and we are grateful to celebrate our 4th year with you.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- including birthday parties -- is always better on the water!

What's your pain threshold?

Do you have a high pain threshold? When it comes to physical pain, I must admit, I’m a bit soft. I’m not one of those guys who has visions of himself enduring weeks or months of pain, suffering and hunger on an desolate island after being shipwrecked and left for dead. I’m more like the guy who envisions himself calling on his cell phone for help, waiting about 20 minutes, and then covering himself in bacon grease so the bears will eat him quickly. What about you? Of course, there are many forms of pain, and while my physical pain threshold may not be particularly high, I’m learning live with -- even embrace! -- pain in other areas of life. After all, endurance is a requirement for anyone who wants to live the Overboard Life!

On April 18, 1981, in the New England town of Pawtucket, two baseball teams from the International League began a game at 8:00pm, with no possible knowledge of what was about to transpire. Before the eight hour game was over, every American professional baseball game record for length of game (in hours and innings), for at-bats, for pitches, for walks, strikeouts, put-outs and plate appearances would be broken. Two future hall-of-famers would be present but have no bearing on the final outcome. The game was suspended, at 4:09am, by a phone call from the IL president, and finished, as only baseball can do, two months later on June 23rd (after just 18 minutes of play).

I can’t imagine playing in a baseball game that lasted over eight hours, although I must admit that had I been in attendance, I most likely would have stayed to the end. By most counts, only 19 people (of the original 1,800 in attendance) watched the final at-bat in the bottom of the 32nd inning after the clock struck 4am. Despite the thinning crowd (is 19 a crowd?), the bitter cold wind blowing thru the stadium and the lack of any end in site, both teams played through less-than-stellar early Spring conditions in Rhode Island that night, and finished the marathon baseball game.

While few, if any, understood the significance of the game, years later, they would be grateful for the experience. Pawtucket’s Dave Koza, who had the game-winning hit, would later say, “Nothing I ever do in life will probably compare with this!” And Rochester’s Dallas Williams would later add, “It sank in the next day. Man, we just played 32 innings of baseball. We joked about it. We had smiles on our faces. I was thankful I was a baseball player and on the field that night. As time went by, I appreciated it more.”

The stadium was packed on June 23rd when the two teams met to finish the game. Extra tables were set up for the 150 members of the press who came to see the end of this marathon game. It ended after one inning of play -- just 18 minutes -- and Pawtucket won the game. Koza, the Pawtucket hero, was inundated with fan mail, letters of praise and national recognition for his part in the drama. While he would never play baseball at the Major League level, he will always be remembered for his part in this story. Cal Ripken Jr, one of baseball’s all time great players, and another not-too-shabby infielder named Wade Boggs, would both be enshrined in MLB’s Hall of Fame, and both would be forever connected as players in that marathon game.

But why? Why play baseball for 8 hours? Why endure the cold? Why not just give up and let the other team win? Why not forfeit? Why would an umpire, in attendance with his 9-year-old nephew, keep the game going? Why wouldn’t one of the team managers put an end to this nonsense? In his book, Bottom of the 33rd, Dan Barry suggests this reason: “Because we are bound by duty. Because we aspire to greater things. Because we are loyal. Because, in our own secular way, we are celebrating communion, and resurrection, and possibility.”

I sat on those words for a few minutes, thinking about how they applied to baseball. There is a majesty to baseball, even thought it’s just a game, and there is an honor to its members and history that is different than any other sport. Baseball history binds today’s players to an unwritten duty from the past, and challenges them, through the eras, to do greater than their forefathers. Baseball players tend to be fiercely loyal, and anyone who watches the game knows it is nearly a religion.

As I thought about those words and how they reflected the great American Pastime, I began thinking about how they applied, even more, to life. Why should we endure hardships that stretch our faith? Why should we follow God’s path for our lives, when it’s guaranteed -- 2 Timothy 3:12 -- to have challenges, struggles and trials? Why not quit? Why not give up and take the easy path?

Simply put, to steal from Dan Barry, “Because we are duty bound. Because we aspire to greater things. Because we are loyal. Because, in our own [spiritual] way, we are celebrating communion, and resurrection and possibility.” Think about each of those phrases:

We are duty bound: “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died” (2 Corinthians 5:14, NIV). We are bound to God in holy duty, because of the sacrifice of Christ. God’s love compels us to keep pressing on!

We aspire to greater things: “God can do anything you know, more than you could ever imagine, guess or request in your wildest dreams...” (Ephesians 3:20, The Message). The possibilities for our lives are endless, not because of who we are, but because of who Christ is!

We are loyal: “But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind, and straining toward what is ahead, I press on to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV). We press on because of what is in store for us, in this life and the next. We loyally set aside any earthly gain in order to be faithful in Christ!

We are celebrating communion, and resurrection and possibility: “If the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead, will also give life to your mortal bodies because of His Spirit who lives in you” (Romans 8:11, NIV). The power that resurrected Christ from the dead is the same power that unites all believers in holy communion, and it is celebrated and remembered in the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, which is the power that removes any barriers from any God-given goal!

Whatever you’re going through, I urge you to press on. Whatever challenges you face, keep moving forward as you follow Christ, out of the comfort of the boat, and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom. The game you’re in might go extra innings, the wind may start blowing cold and the spectators will disappear long before the challenge is finished, but duty, greatness, loyalty and holy communion call you onward. Answer the call, get out of the boat, and see what God will do.

“Play Ball!” and finish the game, no matter how long it takes.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

I'm 40 and living in my friends' basement...

...and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Seriously. This morning I was thinking about how crazy life can be. At times, Traci and I feel like we’re the punch line to one of those Nationwide Insurance commercials: “Life comes at you fast.” It’s funny when it happens to MC Hammer, not-so-funny when it happens to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcXTW14fS2Y

Last week we returned from a 6,500 mile road trip to Oregon, and began the next phase of our Michigan life by moving into the basement of a dear friend. Don’t get me wrong, it might be one of the nicest basements I’ve ever seen. There are four bedrooms (the places sleeps 14!), two full bathrooms, a full kitchen, a nice little dining area and to top it off -- it’s fully furnished including towels, blankets, sheets and all the kitchen utensils for our family. Did I mention we’re on a lake and have a beautiful view from large windows and have walkout access from our private entrance? It’s really a gift.

Back in January, I was struggling to see the gift side of this situation. After all, I’m 40-years-old, I have a wife of 18 years, three amazing kids and I’m at the stage of life where I should be settling into my career. In fact, five months ago, I would have told you that I was settling into a career. I would have told you that I was in a job that I could see staying with through my “golden years.”

Then God turned my life upside down. He removed my job, income, insurance, house and basic comforts and securities. He clearly directed Traci and I to put ourselves full-time into Overboard Ministries and He lined up a partnership with another local ministry (Starwood Ranch) to help make that pursuit a reality.

So, in an instant, we moved from regular full-time income to having to raise our own support. We switched from having the comfort of an on-site house, to living on the kindness of others while we wait 7 months to settle in a new town (August/Sept). For the first time in my life, my insurance isn’t being supplied by my employer, and instead, we’re paying out of pocket for super limited coverage and I’m facing the expenses of an upcoming surgery. The kids will be changing schools again.

And I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way. Seriously.

Over the past few months, as I’ve had time to process the series of events that has put us where we are, I can honestly tell you there’s no other place I would rather be. Sure, I would love to be back in a house, on someone’s payroll and enjoying the peace of mind that comes with quality insurance, but if I had to choose between that and the path we’re on...I hope I’d make the hard decision to hold this course every time! (Of course I’d take both if I could, but right now, God has said those two options aren’t available to us.)

The reality is that this journey has already stretched me further than I thought possible, and I suspect the stretching has just started. Already I’m experiencing a renewed energy and faith in the person and work of God, and I suspect He has some pretty amazing works to show us. Traci and I are enjoying a closeness and intimacy that only comes through facing obstacles together, and the bonding we’ve done with our kids has only served to strengthen their faith and push me to be a better dad.

Although this season has brought deep sorrow, challenging growth and difficult decisions, it has been filled with deeper joy, richly rewarding experiences and life-changing moments of being the recipients of God’s goodness and grace through others. The sorrow, growth and decisions don’t compare to the joy, experiences and goodness and grace of God. Not even close.

I feel a little hint of experiential understanding of Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (NIV).

The Overboard Life requires an eternal perspective, in the good seasons and in the “bad” ones. When God has provided abundantly beyond our needs, and when it seems that He has given just enough to meet the current circumstances. When we have that eternal perspective, truly we are maturing in our faith and will be ready for whatever God has next.

I’m still maturing, and the season of life we’re in is part of the process of preparing us for a deeper faith and more profound expression of our relationship with God. If being a 40-year-old homeless husband and father is what it takes to experience that, then I’m ready for the journey. Yes, I’m praying for a little more certainty and comfort in the future, but even more, I’m praying I keep becoming who God wants me to be so that I’ll be ready for what He wants me to do.

And that’s why I can honestly tell you, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Seriously.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

I wanted to punch a guy...

Last week, Traci and I had the opportunity to take in a Mariner’s game and visit some dear friends while we were on our West Coast tour. We drove up Wednesday (about 4 hours from my family in Salem) and enjoyed a beautiful night, even though the M’s lost, while catching up with Bob and Emily, the first couple to join our youth staff when we worked in Washington. It was a great night.

The next day, we caught up with friends Tal & Joan, and then thanks to a blown appointment (I really felt like April 8th should have been a Thursday...not a Wednesday! Sorry Ritters!) we ended up with a somewhat free afternoon. The sun was shining and it was the first alone time we had experienced in a couple of weeks, so Traci and I took to downtown Seattle on a gloriously sunny day. If you can catch Seattle on warm and sunny day, it truly is one of the great American cities to enjoy.

After hanging around Pike’s Place Market for a couple of hours, we headed back up toward the Space Needle where we would find a pizza shop to eat, and hit the road to catch up with another friend before leaving for Salem. While walking among the crowds who were enjoying the weather like us, we fell in step with a man talking on his cell phone.

I totally started listening to his conversation and saw that Traci was doing the same. After just a few moments, I realized what was happening, and I wanted to intervene. I’m not, nor have I ever been, any kind of fighter or brawler, but something was rising in me that wanted to hurt this man at some level. He was a pimp, and he was preparing one of his girls for her night of work. Here’s what we heard at the end of his call:

“Hey, where are you at?”

[response]

“How much money have you made?”

[response]

“It’s only $150? You’ve gotta do better than that.”

[response]

“So here’s what I want you to do. Go get your son and spend some time with him. I’ll get you a place to rest and I’m going to buy you a coffee...”

[response]

“That’s right, I’m going to buy you a cup of coffee, get you some food, and I want you to rest up before you take more calls for tonight. So just enjoy your son, and then we’ll take more calls tonight.”

Traci is preparing for a trip to Thailand to work with women who are trafficked for sex. As a result she’s been learning a lot about the problem of human trafficking and the reality of its ugly presence in countries like Thailand, and in places like Seattle. The use and abuse of women (and men) for sexual pleasure is vile.

This guy’s call was a textbook call to “his” girl. He was gentle and kind, although very firm ($150 was not enough profit so far) but he was providing her a chance to be with her son, have a place to rest, and even a cup of coffee. In his own sick way, he was taking care of her needs, while coercing her to use her body for his own financial gain and perverse pleasure. The whole thing is sick, yet the cycle is complex and the solutions aren’t simple.

Going to Thailand this summer, my wife will get to experience a rescue work happening in one of the major human trafficking places in the world. This issue is both heart-breaking and sickening, yet there is an army of people rising up to bring true hope and healing around the world, and here in the U.S. I’m sure we both will be sharing more about this topic in the weeks to come.

What ultimately “got me” about the call in Seattle, was the thought that the person on the other line was a woman -- not a thing, not a sex toy, not an item to posses. She isn’t any man’s property, but she is a beautiful person created in the image of God, created to know Him and be known intimately by Him. That she is a prostitute doesn’t change her value as a person (any more than this guy who is pimping her, is somehow less of person). Our actions don’t determine our value to God.

A couple years back I wrote a post about this topic, reminding readers that these women were born as daughters to moms and dads. They were precious little children, perfect in their parents’ eyes, and they entered this world adored. The tragic events and choices that led to their current condition, doesn’t change their true identity. And even if they weren’t loved by an earthly family, they were -- and are -- intimately loved by their Heavenly Father!

No matter where life takes you, or where those you love choose to dwell, the truth of Psalm 139 rings through all of our circumstances and tells us that God loves us deeply, and longs for us to know Him as He knows us:

“I look behind me and you’re there,

    then up ahead and you’re there, too—

    your reassuring presence, coming and going.

This is too much, too wonderful—

    I can’t take it all in! (139:5-6)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

    you formed me in my mother’s womb.

I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!

    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

    I worship in adoration—what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

    you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

    before I’d even lived one day. (139:13-16)

Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!

    God, I’ll never comprehend them!

I couldn’t even begin to count them—

    any more than I could count the sand of the sea. (139:17-18) The Message

As my pastor says at the conclusion of every message, “You are dearly loved.” Indeed, you are dearly loved, and I trust today you will know God and His love more, and share it with the world that so desperately needs to hear the message. The woman on the street, her son and even her pimp, need to hear the message of hope that God loves them, He has provided hope and salvation and He answers anyone who calls on His name.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!