Dirty words.

It’s not a 4-letter word, but to many, “accountability” is still a dirty word. When I was younger, I think I worried that accountability showed some sort of weakness in my person or character. As I aged, I realized...it did! However, embracing accountability not only exposes my flaws, it also reveals a great strength: humble recognition that I can’t do this life on my own. If I am going to achieve my best, it will happen because of the help and influence of others.

Accountability is huge for my success, and I can confidently say it’s huge for yours, too. Here are a few ways accountability is working in my life:

1. My computer is armed with software to help protect me and my family -- and keep me on track -- while surfing the web. That software reminds me that everything I’m doing on the web needs to be God-honoring.
2. I wear an "Up" health band. Up records my exercise and sleep each day, then posts it online for my wife and friends to see. (If you’re using “Up” by Jawbone, add me to your team. (@joeacast)
3. Now that I’m working more from home, my wife is able to see my work each day. She can see when I’m loafing or when I’m working too much. Just last week she helped me see that I was totally blowing off the kids to finish a couple of encouragement notes to others. How ironic, I’m trying to encourage other people, and neglecting my own children to do it. Hmmmm.
4. This blog has some built-in accountability. When I’ve missed a posting day or two (I usually post on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays) it’s not uncommon to get a call, text or email form someone wondering if everything is ok. I cringe when I get one of those notes and I don’t have anything going, but the accountability is good and helps me work hard to stay ahead of the game.
5. When I travel, or when my wife travels and leaves me home, I have a couple buddies who call and make sure I’m doing ok. These guys want to see me be successful, and they are eager to help me make sure I’m making the most of my time.
6. I have another couple friends that ask me about my marriage quite frequently. They ask if I’m honoring my commitment to date Traci regularly. Especially during this particularly stressful season of life, they’ve been asking about our marriage and whether or not I’m doing my job to provide for, and take care of, Traci.
7. When I’m working on a book, I set up a small team of people to help me meet my writing goals. They know my schedule and my deadlines, and they pray for me along the way, and ask keep me track.

The reality is that all of us need help in this life, and God has hard-wired us for relationships in order to find that help. From day one, He gave Eve to Adam (and Adam to Eve!) and all throughout Scripture you find the value and power of teamwork, friendship and accountability. So what happens when we don’t have that accountability?

1. We treat people as property, and leave a wake of damaged relationships in our past. People without accountability often have few real friends and use their work as a shield to hide their insecurities or arrogance (or both). It’s hard to maintain good relationships when you live life without the input of others.
2. We fall behind in our work, as no one is around to ask about details, confirm deadlines or even know what we’re working toward. A stay-at-home mom, a CEO, a college student or a Southern California pool boy can become lazy and ineffective, addicted to Netflix or video games, a busybody or micromanager when they live without meaningful input from others.
3. We blame others for our failures, because no one in our lives is giving us the perspective we need. I’ve known too many leaders who operate without solid accountability, and they are professional blamers when it comes to organizational short-comings because it’s easier to blame a subordinate then it is to see yourself as the problem (or at least part of the problem). My lead pastor in Salem, Oregon, set a stellar example of submitting himself to accountability. More than once I saw him listen as a member of the Elder board, or a member of the congregation, confronted or challenged him on something related to his leadership. He was always willing (and eager!) to learn from those moments, and able to admit his own flaws when necessary. Accountability allowed him to see mistakes or shortcoming he maybe couldn’t see himself. That’s a good thing!
4. We put up a front that hides major problems behind. As a pastor in the Pacific NW for almost 17 years, and now having served in Michigan for over two, I’ve seen too many ministries fall apart because a pastor held up a great facade while his marriage or personal purity or financial integrity was in shambles. When no one is asking us the hard questions, it’s too easy for us to hide the trash.
5. We never realize our true God-given potential, because that potential is connected to the relationships God has given us. Leaders fail to get their organizations to their goals, marriages never reach the intimacy either spouse desires, families live in constant tension and people settle for ordinary lives because they neglect accountability.

Do any of those items resonate with you? If so, you might be lacking accountability in some area(s) of your life. Trust me, you can’t live the Overboard Life without the help of others, so the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can begin moving toward the goals, and ultimately toward the life, God has given you.

When I look at this list I know I’ve been guilty of each of these byproducts of living life without accountability. I’m thankful for the men and women who’ve stepped up to help me, for the ones who said yes when I asked, and for the ones who simply invited themselves into my life. In each case, the accountability has helped me live my God-designed life out of the comfort of the boat.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

I'm a liar.

Just over one year ago, Lance Armstrong admitted, on national television, that he had been doping his blood and using illegal drugs to enhance his ability as a world-class cyclist. Winner of 7 Tour de France races after he conquered cancer, Lance was an icon to millions of cancer patients and he gave hope to everyone who had great odds to overcome. And he was a liar.  

He lied to people for over a decade. He denied using drugs. He swore that he never doped. He threw teammates under the bus who were calling him out and he looked people right in the eye and said, “I’m the real deal.” I believed him, and I was one of the many who defended him when the evidence was mounting. (Read my post, “I Believed Lance”)

Today, Lance is a man who has been humbled. Over half of his assets have been lost in law suits, and there is more legal action pending. Some forecasters estimate that by losing all of his endorsements, he’s given away $150 million in future income. He’s banned from races, even charity events, and no one is calling or asking for interviews. Because he lied, Lance is at rock bottom.

As I thought about Lance last year, and now again today as a reporter gave me the latest update on Lance’s life, I realize that he and I have a lot in common. Like Lance, I’m a liar. In fact, I’m willing to be that most of the people who were mad at him, most of the people who cursed him out on social media, who made jokes with him as the punch line, who looked down their noses at his incredible gall are in the same boat; they’re liars, too.

I was in college when I realized how big of a liar I was. After my freshman year of school, I ran into my old principal during a visit to the high school where I graduated. We talked for a while and then he asked if I would come back in September and talk to the students at a special event he was trying to put on. He didn’t think he had any money to fly me back (since I would be back in school for the fall semester) but he’d check on it. I told him I’d love to speak, and left it at that.

Traci and I were dating at the time, so I told her I had been invited back to speak, and since she was going to be in Salem going to school, we could celebrate her September birthday together. Well, mid-way through the summer I found out that there was, as my principal had suggested, no money available for me to fly back. As a result, the speaking gig was cancelled.

I was determined, however, to be back for Traci’s birthday, so I continue to tell people I was speaking. At the time, I was just learning how to speak publicly and I loved the idea that someone would fly me somewhere to speak. So on a personal credit card, I booked a flight home, and to cover up my true motives (spending time with Traci and making her birthday extra special), insisted that I was speaking at this event at my high school.

For some reason, the idea of me coming back to speak at my high school caught fire with my friends and even a few family members. Suddenly people were getting excited for me and many were asking about the dates etc... My little lie was gaining traction and I was finding myself having to tell more lies, to cover up my first lie. I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said, “If you’re going to be a liar, you’re going to need a very good memory” (or something like that) and he was right! I was having a hard time keeping my lies straight.

About three weeks after my semester started, my youth pastor called me at school and exposed my bluff. I played coy at first, pretending like everything was a go as he gave me a chance to come clean on my own, but then he laid his trap and I was caught. He had run into one of the school counselors and mentioned to him how excited he was that I was a keynote speaker for the upcoming event, and the counselor returned a puzzled look. The two men talked and it turned out the event had never been scheduled -- it was just an idea that my principal dropped on me that I ran with. I wasn’t even smart enough to see if the event was still going when I started my lies!

After an hour-long call with my youth pastor, I called my dad and told him the truth. As a wise man, he knew things weren’t quite adding up and he actually went to my youth pastor to see if he knew anything. The two of them knew I was lying and my youth pastor wanted the chance to help me learn from this. I was humbled to talk to my dad, and then my mom and then to call a bunch of other friends and family to whom I’d lied. It was one of those low points in life that you hope you never have to experience again.

I know people were mad at Lance because he used his lies to profit. While he did raise hundreds of millions for charity, he also gained such fame and popularity that he became a super valuable spokesman. But the result of his lies don’t make his lies “worse”. The reality is that a lie is bad because it’s a lie, not because of the degree to which we lie. The consequences for various lies may be more severe than for others, but that does’t make a lie any more evil.

It’s hard work telling the truth all the time. One of my children loves to answer questions as precisely as possible, so that she doesn’t have to reveal all the facts. If you ask, “Have you finished all your homework?” she is likely to respond with a “Yes.” After a few more question we learn that she has to study for a test, but since we didn’t ask about studying, she didn’t feel obliged to reveal that answer. We’ve worked hard with her to help her understand that withholding truth is just like lying, though she wants to insist she is a young woman of integrity. For her, the problem is that telling the truth means more studying, more time doing what she doesn’t want to do. Telling the truth will require more work.

I’d love to tell you that the last lie I told was in college. But that too, would be a lie. Maybe I withheld the truth. Maybe I didn’t keep a commitment I promised to keep. Maybe I let someone down so I lied to cover up my shortcoming or absentmindedness. The fact is, I’m a liar. As much as I wanted to be indignant with Lance, he and I share the same heritage of integrity (or lack thereof).

In Ephesians 4, Paul writes this plain instruction for us: “Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor...” In other words, “quit lying!” Living the Overboard Life demands an integrity that comes from working hard to be a person of honesty. Lying is easy, but speaking the truth in every situation is hard work and often requires humility (when we’ve been wrong), grace (when we’ve been wronged) and effort (when the truth will require more work from us). But the truth is always worth it.

Just this morning I was reading about Lance’s life. He has hit rock bottom, but in his words, “I’ve never been better.” Life is hard for him, as everything that once defined his life has been stripped away. But he has his family, and he is moving forward with this new challenge. The interviewer, a man who followed Lance’s career for a long time, and who frequently defended the man and was personally hurt by Lance’s admission, said Lance had never looked so good as he did the day they met for the interview. The burden of the lie was lifted, and Lance has discovered that the hard work of integrity is an easier weight to carry.

Are you carrying around some lies you need to release? Are you trusting the truth to set you free? Dishonesty is a prison. Live with integrity and with truth, and you’ll find walking on water is easier without the extra weight!

go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Love and Legalism

It’s interesting as a parent of a 7th grade boy, to be navigating the Jr. High years from the other side of the table. More than once, during the past two years, I’ve thought, “Oh my word...what did I put my parents through?!?!” I remember, in particular, Jr. high was when I learned that sarcasm could be a primary form of speech and that I should definitely pursue a career as a stand-up comic -- I was certain that everything I said was absolutely hilarious!

Jr. High is an age where most of us are figuring out some key aspects of life, and like it or not, it’s the time when many of our values for living are set. Choices are made to do -- or not do -- certain things, to be around or to avoid particular people, and these choices set a pattern for our lives. I know a lot of people who’ve looked back at the decisions they’ve made in life, good or bad, who can trace the origins of those choices back to Jr. High. I think that’s one of the reasons why I’ve always loved youth ministry, and in particular, why I’ve always enjoyed the challenges of working with Jr. High students.

Bob Smith was my Jr. High youth pastor and he was used by God to influence me for good. Bob made it cool to be a Christian and taught us that living for God by making good life choices was not just wise, but fun. He taught us early on that if we would evaluate our lives by God’s standards we would end up living with fewer regrets while experiencing more joy. Bob was the reason I started aiming my life toward youth ministry.

One of the things about Bob was that you wanted to be around him. He had his own pressure washing business at the time and worked 60+ hours a week, yet he ran the youth group like it was his only job. He was high energy, he was funny, he wasn’t afraid to challenge the norms and most of all, he loved people. I invited friends to church, to youth camp and to activities all the time, because I knew they would have a great time and that Bob would love them unconditionally regardless of where they came from. In fact, I remember the time we drove up for a weekend youth camp and on the day of the event, I brought 12 mostly unsaved, mostly unchurched, friends with me. Even though Bob had a mild heart attack (we were a church with 2, 15-passenger vans for transportation, and I had given Bob no warning about my friends!) he welcomed them and made them all feel welcomed for our weekend away.

I also remember that Bob used to get in “trouble” with some of our church leadership because he valued people so much more than rules. We had a few leaders who tended to focus on the rules, especially the unwritten rules, of church life instead of the relationships of people in the church or community. One particular event that’s etched in my mind involved my friend Joe.

Joe had come to youth group a time or two before (I think) but also attended his own church. I really wanted him to start making our youth group his new home so on a Wednesday night during the summer, I invited him to come out again and be with Bob. Joe and I talked during the day and He assured me he was coming. So you can imagine that I was a little irked that as youth group came and went, Joe never showed up. I railed on him over the phone the next day.

Well, it turns out Joe did show up. He rode his bike the 3 or 4 miles from his house to the church, and when he walked in the front doors of our building he had been greeted by one of our older “saints”. The older gentleman asked Joe, “Can I help you find something?” Joe told him he was here for youth group. The older gentleman looked Joe over and was a little bothered that he was wearing shorts in church (keep in mind, it was summer, and Joe had just ridden his bike to be at church), and knowing nothing about Joe, his family or his spiritual condition he said, “Well, not dressed like that you’re not. Why don’t you go home and change, and then come back in pants...” (Of course, there were 25 of us hanging out with Bob in the back of the church, and 1/2 of us were in shorts.) Joe went home, but he never came back to our church.

That event has never left me, and in fact, has often guided decisions that I made in youth ministry. I know I made some mistakes, I know I hurt feelings, said the wrong thing and broke rules I shouldn’t have over nearly 17 years of being a full-time youth pastor, but I always tried to err on the side of love. I didn’t want anyone to ever turn away from God because I emphasize religion about God, instead of having a relationship with God. (Thankfully my friend Joe found another youth group that apparently hadn’t read the Bible verse, “Thou shalt not wear thine shorts on a hot summer day whilst riding thing bicycle” and he went on to love and serve God with his life.) But I’ve met far too many people that were treated so poorly by those enforcing the rules, that they never turned back to see the love of God that’s supposed to be behind those rules.

Don’t get me wrong, rules are important. Anyone who thinks they can please God without following the commands and truths of His Word, is sadly mistaken. But God demands that we follow His Word in love. Just listen to these few verses that describe the priority of love:

“ABOVE ALL, love each other deeply...” (1 Peter 4:7)

“And over all these virtues, put on love...” (Colossians 3:14)

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

There are many others but the point is clear: love for God is to guide our actions and our lives, not a love for rules. In fact, when Jesus was asked about the most important rule in the Bible He said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength” and then He threw in a freebie: “and the second most important command is like it: love your neighbor as yourself.” You see, when we love God with all of our being, and when we love others the way we want to be loved, we will obey God’s Word. John 15 teach us that if we love God, we will do what He has commanded us -- obedience follows love, not the other way around!

And if we truly love someone, we will show it by following the commands of God’s Word. If you love someone, will you steal from them? If you love someone, would you sleep with their spouse in a scandalous affair? If you love someone, would you invite them to do evil things with you? If you truly loved someone, would you intentionally want to bring any harm to them? Of course not! And guess what, those are all things in the Bible that we are commanded to avoid! So love leads us to obedience!

I was blessed to see love lived out in my family and in my Jr. High youth group. I know my life has been shaped by how Bob Smith lived out God’s love in my life and in our youth group. But most of all, I have grown, through many mistakes and missteps, to teach and preach the love of God more than ever. I know that the Overboard Life demands a commitment, not to the rules of God, but to the love of God; to loving God, and to loving others the way God loves us. When we get our love for God and others in the right place, the rules become a whole lot easier to follow.

What about you? Are you loving God with all of your heart, mind, body and soul? Are you loving others the way you want to be loved? Put on God’s love first, and then I think you’ll see His commands in a whole new light.

11 down, 29 to go!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

The 5-Phrase Challenge

We all know our words have a profound impact on the people and circumstances around us. My wife loves to say, “Change your language, change your life.” Last week she wrote an awesome blog on the power of changing how you say, what you say.

Today, I want to challenge you to bring some change to your language in a way that could profoundly alter your day, and the day of those you interact with. Take some time to thoughtfully use each of the following five phrases in the next 24-hours, and see what happens as you do.

1. “I forgive you.” That’s right, today, intentionally release someone who has wronged you. That crazy woman talking on her cell, drinking a cup of coffee while putting on her make up….and oh….trying to drive! Instead of screaming a profanity at the way she just cut you off, offer a word of forgiveness. Literally, out loud, say, “I forgive you.” Or maybe a coworker, boss, roommate or spouse has offended you? Today, release them of the debt they owe and tell them they are forgiven.
2. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” This verse is one of the most profound in Scripture, reminding us that God will give us all we need for the challenges He brings our way. When you are feeling lost, overwhelmed or under equipped, speak these sweet words of promise today!
3. “Everything works for my good, because my God is so big!” This isn’t cliche, it’s truth. God promises to take everything in your life and mine, and to use it for our very best if we’ll but trust Him. When you are faced with a hardship or difficulty, remind yourself verbally to trust God to make good work with your situation.
4. “I love you.” Don’t assume the people around you know you love them. Remind them with your words (and actions!) that you care deeply for them and their well-being!
5. “How can I serve you?” If you’re up for a real challenge, use this phrase with someone you wouldn’t ordinarily serve. You know, that employer who demands too much, and offers little thanks? Surprise them with “How can I serve you?” What about your kids? Your parents? your annoying neighbor? Dig deep and offer to serve.

Will you take up the challenge to use these five phrases today?

While living the Overboard Life is relatively simple, it is rarely easy. Every day you and I have opportunities to use our words and conversations to live Overboard, but just don’t think of how to do that ‘in the moment.’ By taking on today’s challenge, you are choosing to live Overboard, one conversation at a time!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!