Joshua Duggar should rot

The recent story of Joshua Duggar, and his 12-year-old sexual misconduct conviction, has ripped through the news. Now 27, Joshua admitted to unspecified inappropriate sexual behavior involving girls when he was 15, and this seems to coincide with an Arkansas State Police report from the same time (approximately 2006) involving “forcible molestation.” However, the police report, in order to protect the minors involved, has been heavily redacted, and now expunged, so names and details don’t show on the report.

As news of this reached TLC, they quickly pulled the plug on their hit show, 19 Kids and Counting, a reality program about the Duggar family, their faith in God and how they’ve raised 19 children. Because Christian culture is in the limelight, the fallout from this type of move is significant. There are some who feel TLC is persecuting this family because of their faith, even though TLC did something similar to the family show, Honey Boo Boo, when one of its main stars was allegedly dating a pedophile. Others are outraged by Joshua’s behavior, teenager or not, and think the punishment was fitting, even though Joshua already faced civil prosecution according to Arkansas law, sought counseling and offered help to his victims.

Let’s face it, there are no acceptable excuses for perpetrators of sexual abuse. Sex crimes carry with them severe long-term pain for the victims, and the monsters behind those crimes deserve severe punishment.

Personally, I think Joshua Duggar should rot for his crimes. And while I’m at it, so should you.

Maybe you’re not a confessed sexual abuser, but I’m sure you have a list of crimes (illegal or otherwise) that you should rot for, too. Let me know if any of these would register on your record:

Gossiping: I think there are few crimes more devastating, yet more acceptable, in our culture than Gossip. Gossip fuels rivalries, breaks up relationships, stirs distrust, ruins the workplace and splits churches faster than almost any other type of crime. We all hate it, yet most of us participate in it at some level.

Lying: A close cousin of Gossip, but far more deadly and deliberate. In gossip, I might spread an untruth but genuinely not know. “I heard it from so and so...” and spread it like bubonic. With a lie, I know what I’m saying isn’t true, and yet I share it anyway. Lies drove a young teenage cheerleader in Florida to take her own life last year. Lies have corrupted presidencies, destroyed pastors, landed people in jail, ruined marriages, split up families and started wars. Lying might be the most sinister crime of all (it was the first crime ever committed).

Power abuse: Have you ever abused your position of authority? Have you ever taken your frustration out on a child or spouse, a co-worker, employee or sub-contractor? In the Christian world, I’ve seen far too many pastors, elders, counselors, camp directors, association leaders, deacons, choir directors and ministry leaders who have misused their authority for their own gain. In the church, it’s usually veiled in a “I’m doing what’s best for the [insert cause/organizaiton/church here]” but most often reeks of personal gain. Outside the church walls, power abuse is a daily headline, from politicians to corrupt CEOs, from sports organizations to non-profit fundraising groups, where ever there is power and authority, there is the possibility that abuse is happening.

Lust: Here’s a crime that likes to sneak under the radar. Unlike the other three listed above, lust hides primarily in your thought life. Lust can camouflage itself in any environment, and can slowly release its venom for years. Decades. Sometimes called “Window shopping” or excused for “I look but I don’t touch,” lust corrupts the beauty of sex and turns it into a self-focused, self-pleasing experience. Lust turns other humans into objects, and fuels an industry for trafficked people around the world. Lust is not a victimless crime, yet we’re sold its virtues everyday online, on billboards and newspaper ads and television commercials.

I could go on, but I suspect that if you’re anything like me, I’ve already struck at something connected to you.

I don’t know the extent of Josh Duggar’s crimes, and neither do most of you. Right now, after reading hours of online stories and documents, the details of his offense are protected. His victims are, at this point, silent, and to the best of my knowledge, the legal, civil and spiritual consequences have been met. His crime is inexcusable, and his victims will live with his actions for the rest of their lives (as a pastor for almost 20 years, I’ve seen the devastating impact of this kind of personal violation), and he will bear the guilt, shame and, now, public disgrace as a result. What else should happen to him? I’m not sure I can answer that objectively.

Yet I wonder what would happen to you or me if our crimes were brought to light? What if your texts were broadcast to everyone, your browser history exposed on Facebook or your private conversations made public? What if your secret thoughts were televised nationally or your past indiscretions exposed on the evening news? What would we think about you? What would you think about me?

As I’ve read about the Duggar case I have come to at least three conclusions:

1. All of us are guilty, it’s just that not all of us are exposed for our guilt. Romans 3:23 makes it plain that everyone commits crimes (legal or otherwise, the Bible calls these crimes, “sin”), and every crime is worthy of punishment. Josh’s “forced molestation” is heinous, just as your gossip, my lying, your power abuse and my lust are the vilest of offenses. Don’t down play your crimes because they are unknown or socially acceptable, own the fact that you are guilty, too.
2. Admitting guilt is the hardest step, but it puts us on the best path. When news broke of Joshua Duggar’s crime, I admired this about his response: He owned it out of the gate (as far as I can tell), and accepted responsibility without a “but” (“I did it...but it wasn’t my fault...”). When’s the last time you looked at your list of crimes and owned them? When’s the last time you confessed them, even publicly (when appropriate), and began the process of restoration (when appropriate)? (Quick soap box: Restoration does not mean that a human relationship can be restored to its prior place. Restoration means that sin has been acknowledged, forgiveness has been granted, and offender and victim are restored to their right place with God. Consequences may continue, and the relationship may be forever changed, but restoration can still be a reality.) [end of soap box] You and I are only as sick as the secrets we keep, so admit your own crimes and begin the process toward health!
3. God’s justice and mercy are compatible, and His grace surrounds both. It seems that many responses to this Duggar scandal have been either justice (“I hope he rots in prison!”) or mercy (“He did the right thing, we should all forgive him!”). The truth is, God is the ultimate example of both, and neither His mercy or justice trumps the other, and both are filtered through His grace. God perfectly gives us what we deserve (justice), yet because of His mercy (not giving us what we do deserve) we’re not all dead. Holy justice means God can’t look away from our sin, it must be punished, and that punishment is death here, and eternal separation in the next life. In the same vein however, God withholds the full brunt of His judgement (mercy), giving us what we need (grace) in order to be changed into the likeness of His Son. When I cry out for God’s full justice to be unloaded on anyone (the sex abuser, the gossip, the power abuser, the liar or the pervert), I should ask God to do the same to me; and falling headlong into the full wrath of God’s full justice is a horrible place to be.

At the end of the day I realize I want mercy and grace in my life. I mess up and I know I deserve God’s unshielded, unbiased judgement, and I sit here today thankful that He provides mercy and grace. No matter what I feel about Joshua Duggar’s crimes, I want the same for Him, too. Because if there’s no mercy for Josh, there’s no mercy for me. That doesn’t excuse his sin, and it doesn’t require the removal of legal, social or public punishment that may come with it, any more than it excuses my sin or removes the punishment due me. His story just brings to light that all of us are guilty, all of us are in God’s justice system, and all of us are doomed without God’s grace and mercy.

I hope the reports I’ve read about Joshua Duggar’s confession and restoration are correct. I hope his victims have found help and healing through counselors who point them to Christ, and true hope through God who loves and restores the brokenhearted. I pray that you, too, will find healing for the crimes that have been forged against you, and that you and I will be reminded of the crimes we’ve committed against others, and do our part to undo the harm we’ve perpetrated.

May we all live aware of God's justice, be thankful for His mercy and be distributors of His grace.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

I talked my way out of a ticket

There are few feelings worse than that sinking feeling you get when you’re driving, you look up, and you see the lights of a police car flashing behind you. When you pull to the right and the car zooms around you, you have this total sense of relief, but when he follows you to the side of the road, you have that sickening sense of doom; you’ve been caught.  

I generally try not to speed (much) and I’m not an angry driver weaving in and out of traffic, texting and screaming at people who don’t know I’m suddenly psychotic when I sit behind the wheel of a car. However, I have broken a few motor vehicle laws over the past 23 years of driving and on four occasions (three of them in 18 months) I was pulled over for said violations; and thankfully only had a ticket stick on one of those.

The first time I was pulled over occurred at 11:45 at night. I was taking my friend, Luree, home when I rolled through a stop sign at 5mph. It was 11:45 at night, there was no one at the 4-way stop, in fact the police officer was still 1/4 mile from the stop, but the truth was -- I never made a complete stop. Suddenly the lights were on, my adrenaline was pumping and I found myself on the receiving end of a $145 ticket. Even worse, I knew my parents would not be pleased because I was still on their insurance.

Two weeks later I had a court appearance on S. Lancaster Dr and I arrived plenty early for my hearing. I joined a rather large group of like-minded criminals and sat in the courtroom while people tried to weasel their way out of tickets. The judge was not easily moved, nor was he overly compassionate that day. He denied any mercy to the first five or six future convicts that made their cases before him.

Right before it was my turn, a young man in his early twenties tried to pull off the biggest sob story. He told the judge he was speeding but it wasn’t his fault. He was late to class (which also wasn’t his fault) and was trying to be a good college student (although the judge pointed out that his 3-f report card contradicted his statement). He blamed the weather, his friends and even his mom for the reason he was speeding. The judge didn’t budge. He lectured him on his poor driving, informed him that this third speeding ticket would probably revoke his insurance and assured him that one more violation in the next six months would also revoke his license.

The judge was not happy and now it was my turn.

After watching everyone before me try to convince the judge of their innocence and fail, I decided my best move was to simply to own my blunder. I stepped up to the bench as the judge looked over my rap sheet. He didn’t even look at me when he said, “It looks like you failed to stop at a stop sign.” I replied, “Yes sir.” He looked at my profile and said, “When I was a young man, they called that a California stop” to which I said, “They still do, sir.” He continued to study his papers, then said, “It looks like you just had a birthday...” (It was one week past my birthday) to which I quickly fired back, “Yes sir, and I was very disappointed you didn’t make the party.”

At this point, I wasn’t sure how much of a sense of humor our judge had, and was somewhat uncertain, even worried, that I was about to be thrown in jail for 15-20 years for trying schmooze a traffic judge. Instead, he looked up at me with a smirk. He then said, “I don’t remember receiving an invitation.” I laughed and said, “It must have gotten lost in all your paperwork.”

He shook his head, stamped something, scribbled his signature and handed me a form. “If you give this to the lady in back, and if you will attend a day of traffic school, I will wipe the ticket from your record like it never happened.” I happily received my reduced sentence, thanked the judge, and headed to the back table. There, the guy who had been up right before me was still arguing with the lady about how the polar vortex created a suction that made his car travel faster than the speed limit. I just smiled, paid my $15 court processing and fee and gladly accepted the exchange the judge had offered me.

While I was in back paying my fee and signing up for traffic school, the next person up was an 18-year-old girl who had received a moving violation for hitting a car (or mailbox...I can’t remember) while trying to paint her nails and drive. Like the others from earlier in the morning, she tried to use several excuses as to why she wasn’t guilty. Even before I was done, and while speed racer was still blaming global warming for his speeding issue, the judge tagged her hard with a hefty fine and a stern warning.

I thought it odd that no one just owned their guilt. In fact, had I not sat through several attempted sob story escapes, I’m certain I would have argued, too: “It was 11:30pm and no one was on the road...it was only 5mph...I didn’t hurt anyone...everyone does it....” And had I taken that approach, I’m sure I would have paid the full fine and would have been helping my parents pay the new insurance premiums.

In a strange way, that’s how so many of us approach our relationship with God. We don’t own our sin, and instead blame others. In a recent gallop poll, 74% of respondents who believed in heaven, said they were confident they would be going there when they died. An astounding 80% said they would get there because the good in their lives outweighed the bad. Now get this: Of those 80% that said the good would outweigh the bad, 75% of them based that on the “fact” that they lived by the 10 commandments, but only 2 in 10 could name more than 5 of the 10 commandments! So they agreed the standard for living was established by God, they were confident they were living by that standard, but they had no idea what the standard actually said!

God’s standard is impossible to live by perfectly -- you and I will always fall short. If we had to appear before Him and make a case for why He should allow us into Heaven, we would never make it, our rap sheet would be too long and the violations would be too many. In fact, just one violation of God’s law is too many, for His law demands perfection.

That’s the beauty of knowing God. He is a fair judge and knows that we have and will break His law. And while every violation must be punished with separation from Him, He accepts Jesus’ sacrifice as a sufficient payment for my violation. Jesus did what I couldn’t do, when He lived the perfect life, never breaking one of God’s laws. In doing this, He made Himself eligible to take my punishment, to be my traffic school, in order that I might have a right standing with God.

What do I have to do? I just have to own my sin, and accept Jesus’ free gift. I have to believe, in faith, that “Jesus died for my sins according to the Scriptures, and that He rose again, on the third day, according to the Scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). If I admit my sin before God, acknowledging that there is nothing I can do to make up for my sin, and then accept Jesus’ act of sacrifice as payment for my wrong doing, then I can live in freedom despite a really long criminal history! Jesus mediates between me and the Judge.

And that is how the Overboard Life begins. It’s not a matter of sheer will power, or me trying to keep all the commandments perfectly. It’s about the fact that Jesus did what I couldn’t do, paying the price I couldn’t pay. He will advocate for me before the Righteous Judge, I just have to own my part and accept His help.

I hope you’ve done that in your life and have started the Overboard journey with Jesus. If not, thankfully, it’s never to late with God. There is nothing you’ve done, or could ever do, that would make it impossible for you to accept His mercy given through His Son. Embrace the forgiveness God offers you and then start living today for Him.

Go ahead and take the plunge into the sea of God’s mercy and love...life is definitely better on the water with Him!

Are you being bold?

By Joe Castaneda I’ve become convinced that “bold” is one of those words that can go either way -- you can like it or hate it depending on how you’ve seen it used in your life. Sometimes boldness is the explanation a person gives for being a jerk or for stepping all over people. But being bold is not an excuse to be mean, arrogant, rude or uncaring.

It seems to me boldness is the blending of courage and bravery. I’ll define bravery as the sense of duty that comes when we must stand up to fierce opposition (whether that opposition is internal or external), and courage is the character quality by which we do the right thing, even when others falter.

Boldness then is standing in a strong sense of duty, while still doing the right thing even if others falter. Boldness is action. It makes me think of the writer of Hebrews who wrote, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence...” One translation reads this way: “Let us boldly enter the throne room of grace...” (Hebrews 4:15-16). Our flesh is opposing us, trying to keep us from living richly in the grace of God. Boldness is required to stand up and to courageously do what’s right -- enter the presence of God to seek help.

Today I want to be bold in pursuing those things before me as I keep trusting the Lord to move and to act. Below is a Tenthdot Devotional I wrote on this particular topic. Maybe these words will help embolden you, as they did me.

Be Bold

Paul told young Timothy, “For God did not give you a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). In other words, be brave and courageous and go after those things God has put before you. I think it’s easy as Christians to mask our fear in piety or holiness, claiming a desire “let go and let God” when in fact, God has already released us to do His work. I’m convinced God opens doors of ministry and life-change and we sit outside in fear, saying, “As soon as [X] happens, I’ll walk through this door” because we lack boldness to follow God’s leading. In doing so, we miss out on the blessing of being the vessel used by God to accomplish His work.

David said, “When I called, you answered me, and made me bold and stouthearted” (Psalm 138:3) and Solomon wrote, “The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as lions” (Proverbs 28:1). In Acts 4, Peter prayed for boldness and God delivered (4:29, 4:31). Paul and Barnabas spoke the Gospel boldly (Acts 13:46, 14:3), and later Paul told the Corinthian believers that our hope gives us great boldness before God (2 Corinthians 3:12).

The author of Hebrews reminds us that because of Christ’s sacrifice by which He gained experience through His humanity, we can boldly enter God’s throne room and ask for grace and mercy. Boldness is a christian quality! God wants us to boldly ask for grace. God wants us to do His work boldly! God wants us to step out in holy ambition and boldly do the work He has given us! God wants bold children!

Today, ask God to help you be bold. Ask Him to make you “bold and stouthearted” so you will have the bravery to stand up to opposition, and the courage to do what’s right even if others fall away. Be bold for God in all your choices today.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Mercy

This week I have decided to take on a challenge for myself: No iPad entertainment (in particular Netflix), no baseball watching (although I did give myself permission to check box scores ) and no movies until I’ve read through the New Testament in a week. It’s Tuesday and I’m thinking I will be starting against next week with this goal. We’ll see how things ends up. I’ve enjoyed being immersed in the Bible and I’ve walked away with a couple of cool lessons so far from the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John). In Matthew, I realized that the theme of “mercy” comes up quite a bit. In fact, it seems to be one of the big things Jesus rips into the Pharisees for not possessing (they were the religious leaders of the day). They were big into rules and regulations, into traditions and religion, but they weren’t into the practical application of faith. Let me give you an example.

One Saturday afternoon (the Jewish sabbath), Jesus and His disciples were walking through the field after a long day. Everyone was hungry and the Bible says that Jesus’ disciples started picking the heads of grain and eating them. Somewhere off in the distance, a Pharisee sees this and starts chastising Jesus for allowing his disciples to “work” on the sabbath, a practice that was forbidden by Jewish custom.

As the discussion between Jesus and these Pharisees increases, it moves into the synagogue where a man with a shriveled hand walks into the meeting. The Pharisees take this opportunity to ask, “Is it lawful to heal on the sabbath?” You see, they thought they had trapped Jesus. If He answers, “Yes” then they’ll get him for breaking the law. If he says, “no”, then they’ll get him for showing no mercy or kindness.

But Jesus lays a smack down on these guys and asks them, “If you had a sheep fall into a pit on the sabbath…would you pull it out of the pit?” The unspoken answer was, “of course!” So Jesus says, “If you can pull out a lamb that falls into a hole, how much more valuable is this man?” Then he healed the guy and the Pharisees left angry at Jesus’ uncanny ability to respond to their ignorant attempts to trap Him. (All of this happens in Matthew 12:1-14).

Jesus point was made clear in verse 7: “If you had known what these words mean, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent.”

It wasn’t that sacrifice was a bad thing -- in fact Jesus calls all of His followers to be people of sacrifice. It wasn’t that following the rules was a bad thing -- in fact Jesus tells us repeatedly that there are God-given rules and guidelines He wants His children to follow. But the demonstration of sacrifice or the strict adherence to the rules without the expression of love and mercy is fruitless!

I see this in my kids all the time. When I punish them for the sake of me being right or because I simply want to enforce the rules, I almost always get push back, lousy attitudes and more reasons for me to punish them. I’m “right” in the sense that I’m enforcing a particular rule, but I’m dead wrong in how I’m enforcing it. I’m no better than the Pharisees.

But when I punish my children with love and mercy, the ensuing result is almost always substantially better. It’s not that they suddenly start singing in joy over their consequence, but I usually receive much less attitude, and we frequently have engaging conversations over the why of the offense, and not just about the pain of the punishment. Mercy and love gives me access to their hearts.

Everyday you and I have chances to show mercy to people in our lives. Maybe it’s our spouse and our children, or maybe it’s a boss or coworker. Maybe it’s one of the people you serve in your job, or maybe it’s that paper delivery boy who never can seem to get your newspaper onto your driveway! There’s that barista at the coffee shop that can’t seem to remember you don’t like whip cream on your coffee, and don’t forget about that family member that always makes you late, or the guy who... there are plenty of people to whom you can show mercy to everyday!

Would you put mercy on your radar today? Will you take time to ask God to help you be a person of mercy and love? I have a friend who was recently lit-up by someone else, and treated like garbage. I don’t know the circumstances, I just saw the outcome on facebook when she posted this:

“Another time I wish I was one of those people that bashes someone on a social network, but instead I will hold my head high, pray for this individual, and watch them dig their hole deeper each time they do others wrong. I don't really call it karma, I see it as a pathetic angry person that will never change and revels in attempting to bring others down to his/her miserable level. Today I hold my head high and will not succumb to such venomous individuals.”

Show mercy today. It’s not just a good idea, it’s actually a command by God that we be merciful people. And mercy has a way of showing back up in our lives when we have been generous with it ourselves.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!