Some anniversaries aren't fun to remember

This past weekend we remembered an anniversary. It’s hard to say we “celebrated” because that certainly wasn’t the tone, but we definitely remembered. Some anniversaries are, after all, hard to enjoy. The moment in recall was the day I lost my job, January 16th, 2015, and the day our family began a year like none other we’ve experienced. In the 12 months since the afternoon I took my last walk from the office to my house, we’ve experienced the life of faith like never before. Traci and I have felt the love of friends and family like at no other time in our marriage, and we’ve felt some of the highest highs and lowest lows. It has been a wild journey.

The first seven months after that departure were filled with many couch-surfing adventures (with our family of five!), thousands and thousands of miles on the road (two trips to the West Coast and back) and many tearful nights and tension filled days. We had to make tough never-been-here-before decisions, and trust in God’s hand to take care of us. We made some great memories along the way, including the time we spent on road visiting friends and family.

I remember vividly, the August 5th morning that we were returning from our six week, 11,000 mile road trip to the West Coast. We were still uncertain about the details of the future, but confident that God wanted us to stay in Michigan. We were driving in from a couple night’s rest in Galena, Illinois, and we literally didn’t know where we were going to stay that night (or any night thereafter!).

Some dear friends texted with my wife asking about our living situation, and they assured us that their home would always be available to us, and for the next two nights we would rest in their hospitality. As Traci and I fell asleep in their camper (not even joking when I tell you that it was the absolute best night of sleep I had experienced in months!), I became profoundly aware of how much God had taken care of us. How much He had provided for us along the way.

By that night in August, I had lost track of the number of different beds we had fallen asleep in (well over 30!), and the number of times financial gifts came in to bless us at “just the right moment” of need. Two trips to the West Coast had gone off without a hitch, literally, without a single problem from our 280,000-mile-old vehicle. Hundreds and hundreds of emails, FB messages and posts, texts and phone calls had come our way from people who just wanted to encourage us along the journey. Truly, in the midst of being homeless and jobless, I had never had a more profound sense of God’s work in my life.

So this weekend, on the one year anniversary of watching God change things up as only He can do, I remember, somberly, that His ways are not mine. I remember that He holds the future in His hands -- He already knows tomorrow better than I know yesterday! While I was experiencing (perceived) injustice, hurt, uncertainty and far more questions than answers, God already knew where the path was leading, and He was directing me -- the whole family! -- with the patience, grace and mercy of a loving father.

Ultimately, the goal of living the Overboard Life is that, through an active faith in God and His work in our lives, we are becoming more and more like His Son. That transformation is worth all the uncertainty, hardship and challenge that God directs our way and that this world throws at us. I am praying that 2016 is vastly different than the year we just put behind us, but even more, I am praying that the seeds of change God planted in our hearts and minds last January, take full root and began to blossom and produce fruit in this year.

When I think of the past year with that perspective, I have no choice but to celebrate this anniversary.

What about you? Do you have a painful anniversary that you need to see in a different light? It’s not easy, but it is freeing. After all, since becoming like Jesus is the goal, we must learn to embrace the process that gets us there.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- even your painful past -- is better on the water!

Death stinks.

The death of Frank Vega was a significant event. Last week the news came to me rather unexpectedly, and honestly, it gave me that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Traci was still in Thailand, the kids and I were on the road together so I took a morning to call a common friend. While I felt a little encouraged after the call, the reality of this life is that death stinks. Unexpected death is especially challenging.

Pastor Frank, or “Pastor Loco” as a few knew him, was an icon in the inner city of Philadelphia. He lived, worked, served and ministered the Gospel in a challenging part of the City of Brotherly Love; a part of the city that many others had abandoned because of the difficulty of the ministry.

Not only did he serve in the inner city, but he served with limited resources and often, without taking a paycheck. He lived where he worked, too, raising his kids and managing his marriage in the very place he grew up. And he did all this with his awesome wife, Carmen, who labored alongside him every step of the way. (In fact, after knowing Bishop Frank these past 12 years, I can assure you that without Carmen, there would be no Frank!)

Just last week I was talking to a friend who I discovered had once lived in Philadelphia. I took students to Philly on three occasions (each for at least a seven day trip), and visited a fourth time on my own, and so I’ve been able to learn about the city and the ministry of Pastor Frank from a limited, first-hand experience. I told my buddy about where we usually served when we were in the city, and when I mentioned Kensington, he gave me a response that I’ve heard more than once: “Wow...Kensington is a tough place...” That was Frank's place.

I met Pastor Frank in the summer of 2005, the first time I took students to work with him in Philly, as part of the summer outreach ministry of Vision for Youth. We connected right away, in part because I used my broken Spanish to crack a joke, and in part, because I loved his heart for people. His story is amazing, and the way God saved him from a life of self-destruction (gangs, drugs, violence and jail time in the U.S. and in a foreign country) is part of what makes his life’s work even more meaningful.

I made return trips with students in 2007 and 2009, and again by myself later in 2009. Each time, Frank and I had an opportunity to talk about life, ministry and how God works in us and thru us, despite our weaknesses. He often boasted about his wife, and shared how an awesome ministry opportunity almost took him out of Kensington, but Carmen kept him grounded and focused on the ministry at hand. He always challenged and blessed me each time we talked.

Since 2009, we have talked on the phone a few times, and I’ve shared a video that featured an interview with Frank to several friends, but our paths have not crossed. And now they won’t cross until the day we meet again in Heaven.

I know that there is great relief for believers when it comes to the hope we have in Heaven. In 1 Corinthians 15 Paul writes of the beautiful hope of a future with God, where the corruptible, mortal bodies that clothe our spirits today, will be replaced with incorruptible, immortal bodies of glorious mystery! John tells us in Revelation, that when human history ends as we know it today, tears and death and sorrow will be eliminated from our existence. Peter tells us that in an instant God will destroy this old world, and it will be replaced with a perfect world, unbroken by sin, and ready for our eternal pleasure.

But...

Before that glorious future is ours, there is the grim reality that death permeates this life. In 1 Thessalonians 4 Paul reminds us, “...you must not carry on over them [deceased believers] like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word” (The Message). The NIV reads like this: “...do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” Notice that we aren’t told to “not grieve” but rather, to not grieve like those who live without Christ.

It’s not a quality of super spiritual Christians to not grieve, it’s just that we’re not supposed to grieve like the hopeless. Since we belong to Christ, we belong to Hope, true hope, that rests in the resurrection of Jesus from the grave. Death evokes grief, even from Jesus (John 11:33-35), because it’s not the way things are supposed to be. We were created to live in perfect communion with God, but sin mucks-up everything. Instead of harmony, love, joy and life, we live with the reality that those virtues are often overshadowed by conflict, hate, anger and death. Those things should stir some grief in our hearts.

So I’m grieving the loss of my friend, as I know you have had to grieve the loss of people in your life, too. I know Bishop Frank is in glory, and I rejoice in his gain, but I grieve the loss that Carmen and her children must feel, I grieve the loss that me and many of Frank’s friends have in our hearts and I grieve the loss of Frank from the broken people he served in Kensington. Death stinks.

But...

Hope is spiritual F’breeze that covers the stench of loss. Christ’s death and resurrection allows us to “spread the aroma of the knowledge of Him everywhere” (2 Corinthians 2:14). In that knowledge we rest certain of our future, and anyone’s future who has put their faith in the gift God gave us, when He sent Jesus to pay for our sins. Death stinks, but hope springs eternal for those who will trust in Christ.

The Overboard Life will include walking the pathway of grief. Grief is inescapable in this life, but it doesn’t have to be experienced without hope. If we truly live life out of the comfort of the boat, and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom, we will be great purveyors of that hope -- even as we walk the path of grief ourselves.

I feel fairly certain that my friend, Frank Vega, entered glory to the seven words I long to hear, when the time for my departure flight from this life into the next, arrives: “Well done, [you] good and faithful servant!” I smile when I think about the first time he saw Jesus face-to-face, and I imagine Frank has already been given a glimpse of far God allowed his ministry to reach.

Death stinks, but its power is nothing compared to the greatness of my God. So I grieve with hope, and I want to live with the kind of selfless love that Frank did, and that his wife Carmen and their family, I’m sure, are continuing after his departure. Because they too, know the power of hope that can only come from Christ. Do you?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- even in the face of death! -- is always better on the water.

Another nearly PERFECT Super Bowl prediction!

Two years in a row I have aced my annual Super Bowl prediction. I don’t just predict winners and losers, but I love to predict key game moments and big events that will change how the game turns out. We’re talking about uncanny accuracy. (You can read last year’s prediction here.) I won’t bore you with all the details but here are the highlights.

1. The Patriots will score the first and last TDs of the game.
2. Unlike last year’s blowout, this game will be decided by four points or less. The Patriots will win.
3. Marshawn Lynch will score one rushing TD for the Seahawks.
4. The Seahawks will have one surprise touchdown in the first half, probably near the end of the 2nd quarter.
5. Tom Brady will throw two pics, yet will be MVP.
6. Seahawks wide receiver, Kearse, will have at least one big play, maybe even a circus-type catch.
7. Russell Wilson will throw a big interception late in the game.
8. A no-name rookie will decide who wins the Super Bowl.
9. The Seattle coaching staff will make a horrible decision, late in the game, while under pressure.
10. Bill Belichick, Patriots coach, will wear a sweatshirt.

If you want to read my full prediction, please click here. Seriously, do you know anybody else that called this game with such detail? I’m assuming someone from Vegas will be calling me shortly.

For those of you interested in these things, I’ll give you a little tip on making great predictions like mine. Pay attention, and you’ll do well in your future prognostications, too. Here’s my secret: wait until after the game is over, and then make your prediction.

It’s that simple! Seriously, it works great on sporting events (obviously!), but this method can be used for predicting the outcomes of elections, major world events and even how your child will score on a test at school. Once you get good, you’ll find your accuracy approaching 100% before long. Unfortunately, this method won’t help you with things before they happen; I’m still working on that.

Have you ever wanted to know how something would turn out before it happened? Have you ever wondered if a certain relationship would work out, if a business would take off, if a relative would survive cancer or if your child would make it through the teen years without doing something too regrettable? I’m not sure if we want to know these things because we think it could be easier to handle the reality knowing it ahead of time, or if because we think we could change the outcome if we knew before hand. Reality is, we don’t get to know, and like yesterday’s football game, the outcome can change dramatically, multiple times, before the dust finally settles.

Thankfully, God knows the future with 100% accuracy. As many of you know, two and half weeks ago my relationship to Lake Ann Camp came to a screeching halt. Traci and I had anticipated spending the next several years working here, connecting with pastors, campers and camp supporters while investing in the next generation of church leaders. Our dreams included years of ministry partnership with the camp and in one afternoon, everything changed.

Over that past couple of weeks we have really wrestled with God’s working in all of this, and have repeatedly wondered what He is up to. We’ve also come to this conclusion: had we known that we were going to be released from our duties after just 22 months of service, we probably never would have taken the job. It's doubtful that we would have  moved our family across the country from Oregon to northern Michigan.

Yet, without question, I can tell you we are glad we came! We are thankful for the relationships that have been built, thankful for the ministry God allowed us to be a part of, and yes, even thankful for the process we are going thru now. We know that whatever God has in store for us next, the past 22 months will play a big part in our future. In other words, if we hadn’t made the move out here 22 months ago, we would miss out on the future plans God has next.

Soon, we’ll be able to look back and see, at least in-part, how God is using our present circumstances to prepare us for a future He already knows. In the mean time, our task is to keep trusting Him and to work on growing thru this experience. We’re working through the heartache of loss, the challenges of watching our children unpack their hurt, and the difficulty of facing some serious uncertainty about the next four weeks. (Where will we live? What will I do for a job? Will our kids be able to stay in school? Are we moving across town? Across the state? Back across the country?)

While wrestling with these unknown circumstances, I came across Psalm 143:8, “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” (NIV) I love how The Message paraphrases this: “If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice, I’ll go to sleep each night trusting in you. Point out the road I must travel; I’m all ears, all eyes before you.”

I don’t know what’s next for me and my family. What I do know, is that God knows, and He loves us deeply and has a plan that will redeem everything we’re walking thru now. That plan is truly the best, and when the time comes that I can look back and a make a near-perfect Super Bowl-esque prediction, I’ll be glad we followed Him.

How about you? Are you facing some uncertainty in your life? Are you on a path that doesn’t make sense to you right now? Maybe you need to make Psalm 143:8 your prayer, too, and trust in the love of God, while you wait for the timing of God. I’ll be right there with you and soon we’ll both have a great story to tell!

Go ahead and take the plunge, the future is always better out on the water!

Why you need to have that tough talk!

By Joe Castaneda I think most people know that life is fullest when we live, and experience it with people we love. It’s not that we don’t love our down-time, and our solo journeys, but even those times are enjoyed more when we return and share them with other people. I have several friends who love solo-adventures in hiking, touring and even in their world travel. But they always post their pics on facebook, they send shout-outs to friends on Instagram and Twitter and they are engaging friends in their journey, because life is fullest when we share it with others.

The problem with sharing life’s journeys is that people can be a pain! Nothing can disrupt your life, ruin your morning or suck the joy from your soul more than people! So while we love sharing life with others, we also know that others can bring the biggest challenges in our lives.

There are two responses to the conflicts we have with others. The first generally involves blaming, occasionally some name-calling, a lack of grace and/or personal understanding (although this response is can often be masked in martyrdom, making it appear like a healthy does of grace!), often encourages avoidance, the holding of grudges and is almost always rooted in fear, hurt, reactionism and a lack of forgiveness. This is the response of victimhood.

The other response involves owning ones part, never name-calling and is filled with grace out of the recognition that we all make mistakes. This second response encourages engagement, quick forgiveness and is rooted in faith, love and pro-action*. This is the path of personal responsibility, and the path for anyone wanting to live the Overboard Life.

Nobody likes confrontation, but if you’ve been avoiding that hard conversation with someone, you’ve been living in victimhood! In Matthew 18 Jesus gave some incredibly clear teaching about personal conflict, and His teaching requires us to embrace our responsibility in a matter, and to have hard conversations. In the passage Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone...” Notice the responsibility for engaging in the tough conversation rests with the one who has been offended, the one who has been hurt.

Victims love to sit back and wait for the resolution to come to them, but Jesus says the one who has been sinned against, is the one who should initiate the restoration process. Why? I think it’s because when we don’t take care of those issues, they turn from little things, into big things. Marriages don’t usually end because of just one event. Marriages that end in divorce usually end because a bunch of little things turn into some big things, and soon, what maybe could have been mended through a couple of meetings with a counselor or pastor, now can’t be mended with years of outside help. Friendships don’t usually end with one offense. Instead, years of friendship can be brought to a halt after a pattern has developed of responding in victimhood (silence, martyrdom, lies “Oh, it’s fine, that didn’t bother me...”) to those interpersonal conflicts.

Obedience to Jesus’ words can bring healing today, so that the hurts of the future will require stitches and a bandaid, and not relational amputation! Is it easy? Not usually! Is it best? Always!

Here are few other nuggets that will help you have those difficult conversations:

1. Make sure you check your own heart and actions in the matter: Jesus once told a group of people to “Take the plank out of your own eye, so that you can see the speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye.” In other words, make sure you’ve taken care of your own business before you try to help someone else with theirs. What a visual picture! Can you imagine some guy walking around with a six foot long, 2x4 sticking out of his eye? Then he clumsily comes walking up to you and says, “Whoa bro, you’ve got some sawdust in your eye hole, let me help you get that out.” That’s ridiculous. Make sure you’re not plank guy, trying to help sawdust guy. Sawdust guy needs help, but first, get that plank taken care of! 2. Be ready to forgive. When we approach someone with a hard conversation, be ready to forgive them on the spot! Peter reminds us, “that love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Jesus told His disciples that if someone comes and asks you to forgive them, then do it. Paul said in Colossians that we need to forgive as Christ forgives us. And how does Jesus forgive? Every time you ask, He freely forgives. Now forgiveness isn’t an excuse to be someone’s doormat (don’t confuse forgiveness with martyrdom), but rather, forgiveness is the power you and I have to release someone else from a debt so that restoration is possible. 3. If you are constantly in conflict with others, check the mirror before you head out the door. I have a friend who is always at odds with people in their life. This person can’t go to the grocery store without getting into an argument with a worker, another shopper or with someone in the parking lot. It’s unreal. I’ve known them for years, and they are always in conflict. If you’re ready to have a tough talk with some one, just check and make sure you know who’s at fault. I’ve often found that when I’m ready to pounce on someone who has hurt me, the reality is, that I’m the one that is in the wrong. Instead of going to confront, I need to go and confess and ask for forgiveness.

Is there someone in your life that you need to have that tough talk with? If you want to live the Overboard Life, you can’t go through your days ignoring the problems that arise in the relationships you have. Sure, the tough talks don’t always go like we want, but I know when I follow God’s plan for relationships -- when I check my own heart, make sure I’m ready to forgive and make certain that I’m ready to confess my own faults -- things go a whole lot better than when I live as a victim, and do nothing.

So go ahead and take the plunge, even your tough talks will be better on the water!

Working through some heartache in your life? My first book, Project Joseph, was written to help people navigate the pain of relationships and the struggles that we all face in life. Check it out, and see if it might help you better become who God wants you to be!

Three thoughts about running

By Joe Castaneda I’ve started training for my first 1/2 marathon. When I started 5 weeks ago I didn’t like running. Ok, that’s a bit of an understatement because I once told a guy “I’d almost rather have all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out again, then run for any length of time.” True story. But now, after 25 miles on the treadmill...I still pretty much hate it. Honestly, running just isn’t my thing.

But the discipline of running has helped me learn a few lessons, and for today’s three thoughts for the weekend, I wanted to share what three lessons I’ve learned from running.

1. 

   It’s ok not being able to run as fast as others: I like excelling at what I do. When it comes to running, however, I’m not at the front of the pack compared to my running friends. A few weeks ago my friend Aaron posted on facebook, “It felt good to run for the first time in 9 years [slight exaggeration], and the fact I ran a 5k in under 21 minutes made me feel pretty good. Can’t wait until I get a 5k back under 2 minutes [slight exaggeration].” Some of you running types chuckled at a 21-minute 5k, but Aaron will get that down, mainly because his wife runs a 15-minute 5k [pretty sure that’s NOT an exaggeration!] and he’ll want to keep up. My best 5k so far? I barely ran it in under 11 minutes/mile -- my best 5k was 33 minutes and 59 seconds! Aaron’s wife Evey would have lapped me, then handed me a cup of water at the end of my run after she had run a 10k, painted her toe nails and mowed the lawn while waiting for me to finish. She’s a runner. She loves running. And it’s A-Okay with me! I’m learning that my running isn’t about beating anyone else but me. I’m just working to get out of my own head so I can “run my race” and finish the course in front of me. It’s ok not being able to run as fast as others. My growth will happen as I work to finish the race -- not as I work to beat any particular runner. Aaron and Evey, I guess you’re safe for now!

2. There can still be joy in running: Have I mentioned that I still don’t like running? Even as I write this I’m dreading the fact that I am choosing to work out again tomorrow, and that means another 25-35 minutes on the treadmill. Yea. Here’s a bigger problem -- I don’t have to like running but I can still choose to receive joy from this activity. This is where I can really dislike the Bible, because it reminds me how much choice God has given me in the joy and happiness I experience in life. Most people equate joy with circumstances -- if things are “going good” then they are happy. The Bible however, reminds us that joy is a choice. “Rejoice in the Lord always” said the Apostle Paul, “again I tell you, rejoice.” Joy is a choice not a reaction to my journey. That means when I put myself on the stationary torture device tomorrow, my attitude will have nothing to do with the speed at which I’m running or the ease -- or lack-of-ease -- I’m feeling in my pace. My attitude will be decided long before I step up.

3. 

   Running is challenging my mind to be stronger: Have you ever heard of a “runner’s wall”? It’s the mental barrier a runner has to get through in order to reach their long-distance goals. My wall used to hit me in the first 100 feet of running [NOT an exaggeration!]. Now I can run a mile without straining too much, but from mile 1.5 to 2.5 I hit this mental barrier that slaps me silly every time. It’s almost embarrassing to admit how much I want to quit running during that mile stretch. My feet start complaining, “ouch…running hurts us” and then my calves chime in, “Hey, you feel this strain? You’re not going to be able to use us for walking for a year if you don’t quit RIGHT NOW!” Don’t get me started on my hips, my abs and my lungs -- the higher you go the worse the whining gets. I start out with the desire to run 3 miles and at 1.5 I’m thinking, “Maybe I should just stop now and lie to all my friends about how far I’ve run.” Seriously, I’m pathetic. However, the experience of getting through that wall and choosing to get past my feeble attempts at stopping are powerful tools in my arsenal. Every time I choose to keep going when I want to stop, every time I press on through the discomfort, and every time I choose to go another 1/4 mile and another 1/4 mile and then another 1/4 mile…I give myself confidence for other, non-running barriers, too. Like those days when marriage feels too hard, I’m able to remember what it feels like to kick down a barrier and I can step up my game and press on into my God-given role as a husband. "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church" is much more about choice then about how I'm feeling! Have you ever wanted to just give your kids away and be done parenting? In those moments I need God’s help to be mentally strong, to choose to make good parenting choices even when I’d rather take a shortcut. It’s not easy, but running has helped to strengthen my resolve.

I don’t like running, but I’m thankful for what I’m learning. I want to keep pressing on in this training, because this 1/2 marathon is so much bigger than just a road race. It’s a big metaphor for God’s work in my life in 2014, and every time I step on the treadmill I remember the words of Hebrews 12:1-2, “let us therefore throw off everything that hinders, and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. And let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” And with those words bouncing around in my head tomorrow, I will keep running my race with joy, even though I’m slower than many, because I know I’m getting stronger.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- even running! -- is always better on the water!

What's your dream worth?

This morning I was watching a documentary on some of the biggest oddballs of baseball: Knuckleball throwers. These are pitchers who throw a ball that doesn’t rotate, is hard to catch and that doesn’t usually travel faster than 75-80 mph, and often travels more like 55-60 mph. In a day and age when pitchers are praised for throwing 100 mph, or where curve balls make great hitters look bad, few teams have a place for an old-fashioned knuckleballer.

One of them, R. A. Dickey, was facing the end of his tumultuous career after one good season (2010) was followed by an injury plagued year where his pitch just wasn’t working (2011). But his dream to be a great Major League pitcher, and to dominate at his position, was too big to end. So R.A. drove across the country to meet other pitchers of his ilk. In baseball history, despite tens of thousands of pitchers, less than 100 have been knuckleballers, and today, there are only two who pitch the knuckleball in all of baseball.

R. A. met with previous knuckleball pitchers. He analyzed bad games. He changed how he held the ball. He learned to adjust to his speed. He pitched through some serious pain. He didn’t give up.

His dream was worth the work, and a year later (2012) RA won baseball’s highest honor for a pitcher: the Cy Young Award. He was the first knuckleball pitcher in history to win that award.

Is your dream big enough to work for? Will you meet other who can help? Will you learn from the “bad starts” an mistakes you’ve made? Will you work for it when you’re not at your best? Will you play hurt? Will you change your approach?

Living the Overboard Life is about taking the steps to pursue what God has in store for you. Ephesians 3:20 continues to resonate in my heart, day after day: “God can do anything you know, far more than you could ever imagine, guess or request in your wildest dreams” (The Message). Jesus is out on the water calling you out of the boat to chase after the dreams He has placed in your heart. Will you step out in faith and trust Him? Will you work through the hardships? Will you see it through?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is better on the water!

Never Forget

My wife and I had just returned from Spain. We had been home just two nights, and were still catching up on some much needed sleep. Our son AJ was just two months old, and all three of us were experiencing somejet lag. That’s what made a 6am wake-up call so annoying. Until we realized what was happening: our nation was being attacked.

Few of us will ever forget where we were the day the 9/11 attacks happened in New York. The images of buildings crashing down in America’s largest city; the videos of people jumping out of windows giving up on a chance to be rescued; the smoke filled streets and bewildered pedestrians; the courageous firefighters who ran into buildings people were running out of; the broken hearts, shattered dreams and lost relationships that changed our nation.

In the days that followed, there were also incredible stories of heroic rescues and the amazing survival of the God-given human spirit that began moving forward. People who were thought to be dead were found alive, rescue personnel worked around the clock, never giving up the hope that one more person might be found and rescued -- including two people rescued almost 24 hours after the buildings collapsed!

We were all reminded of a lot that day. We were reminded that our country wasn’t as safe as we had always believed. We were reminded that humans have an incredible capacity to survive. We were reminded that evil was very real and very deadly. We were reminded that politics will never unite us like the coming together over tragedy or triumph. We were reminded that life is so short.

James describes our life like this:

“What is your life? It is a vapor…” (James 4:14)

After 9/11 I read countless stories of people who witnessed the events of that day and reflected, “In moments like this, you realize how fragile and how short life is.” I remember one news commentator wrapping up a multi-hour live broadcast from ground zero, stating, “Hug your children and your families tonight. Days like today remind us how precious our time is.” Indeed, time is precious.

In the grand scheme of things, life is short. It’s funny how I used to hear older people talk about “how fast time flies” or, in reference to their adult children, they would say, “I remember when I held you in my arms…seems like just yesterday.” I’m looking at my 12-year-old boy and thinking the same thing: where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday we were coming home from a three week trip to Spain.

When my friend Richard passed away a few years ago, I remember spending time with him during his last few weeks. He had lived a good life, he had loved God, loved his wife and kids, and served faithfully in many ways. For a short season, he was a pastor, but spent much of his life in education. Richard was gracious and kind, welcoming and inviting, but held on to truth without apology. I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone quite like him.

And as he was leaving this world, I remember the confidence with which he spoke about the future, and with how little regret he spoke about the past. It wasn’t that he had lived life perfectly (he would have been the first to admit that!), but he had used his time wisely, and had honored God with his greatest resource. I’ve been on the other side of that conversation, watching men and women die with great regret -- it’s a heartbreaking tragedy to watch someone die like that.

Richard understood the shortness of life. He lived it like it was a vapor and when God took him home, Richard was ready. 9/11 reminds me that life is short. I’m not living scared, looking for the next terrorist attack, but I am mindful that the shortness of life may not give me opportunity to ‘right all wrongs’ or restore broken relationships before I’m gone. I don’t want to be breathing my last breath, mindful of all my regrets.

Are you living the Overboard Life today? Are you living all out, knowing that the shortness of life is a reality, and the moments you have today are a precious gift from God? I hope you’ll live like my friend Richard, so that when it’s time, you too will go peacefully home to God without many regrets.

I’m a little somber today as I remember back to 9/11. But I’m also eager to keep living a life, the Overboard Life, that embraces the moments God has given me. Life may be short, but it is priceless and every moment is worth living, fully!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is better on the water!

Whiners, victims and other people I emulate.

As most of you know, I enjoy sports. I enjoy playing sports of all kinds, I enjoying inventing sports (made up a few competitive games in my day) and I enjoy watching sports. If the competition is good, I’ll watch just about anything. I remember the night I realized how sick I was when I was watching a highly competitive dart throwing match on ESPN 2...at 3am after getting up with one of the kids.

A few weekends back the Players Championship was held by the PGA. Tiger Woods won the match on the fourth day of the tournament, following a verbal sparring match he had with fellow golfer, Sergio Garcia. A day before Tiger’s win, Sergio had questioned some of Tiger’s field etiquette, and Tiger basically called Sergio a whiner. Probably both guys were right!

But what interested me most was Sergio’s interview after the event. And in particular, this one line when Garcia was asked if there was anything he would change about his banter with Tiger:

“It sounds like I was the bad guy here. I was the victim.”

Let me begin by being particularly clear: I am not, nor ever have been, a professional golfer. Some who have golfed with me would be shocked by such a statement, but it’s true. I have never had my “Q Card” and have never been invited to one of the four Majors. So I don’t know what that kind of golfing pressure is like.

However, I think I’m highly qualified to speaking on the issue of victimhood. Playing the victim card doesn’t require any professional certification. In fact, some of the best victims have achieved nothing in life precisely because of how well they play that card. I have played that card myself on numerous occasions in my life.

Whether Tiger purposefully tried to hinder Sergio’s success in the Players Championship or not, will never full be resolved. From Sergio’s perspective, Tiger used the crowd to get into Sergio’s head. From Tiger’s perspective, he couldn’t even see Sergio’s play and therefore he did nothing to intentionally distract his opponent. But this one fact remains: Sergio is a victim.

But he was not a victim to Tiger’s alleged actions, he was a victim to his own mindset. He lost that tournament a few weekends back because he chose the path of least resistance -- he took the easy way out the moment he blamed Tiger. And worse? He will learn nothing from this event that will help him overcome a similar circumstance in the future.

Oddly, Sergio has never contacted me for life-coaching, but we can all learn from his choice to play victim. Just like you cannot win a pressure driven round of championship level golf while playing the victim, you cannot live the Overboard Life when you sit back and blame your failures and lack of progress on the actions of others. You can’t parent from faith while playing victim. You can’t forgive, love, give grace, offer truth or even get along with your spouse when you play victim. God didn’t give you a spirit of fear or weakness, but rather He offers His children one of tenacity and strength -- one that is able to overcome in every circumstance because God’s power rests behind it! (2 Timothy 1:7)

When victims are looking to be offended, Overboard-ers* are looking to provide mercy and grace. When victims blame others, Overboard-ers are accepting responsibility and rising up to the challenge. When victims are staying put in the boat because circumstances aren’t quite right, Overboard-ers are already on the water, striving to reach where Jesus is working. When victims can’t forgive because the hurt is too deep, Overboard-ers remember how much God forgave them, and they are eager to forgive and move forward. And when victims wallow in self-pity, Overboard-ers are moving forward in a God-given confidence that even the worst of circumstances can be used by an Almighty God to make priceless art from the most horrendous trash. You can’t live Overboard and play victim.

Imagine how much different Sergio’s interview could have been if he had rejected the victim card:

Reporter: Sergio, how much did the crowd, responding to Tiger’s play, affect your shot.

Sergio: Great question. I think I let it get to me more than I should have.

Reporter: Do you think Tiger was trying to mess with your mind?

Sergio: Wow, I hadn’t thought of it like that. If he was, that means he saw me as a threat to have won the tournament, and next time I’ll have to live up to that perspective. Whether he was, or wasn’t, the fact is -- I let it get to me and that’s why he won, and I didn’t.

Reporter: That is such a cheesy response.

Sergio: My life coach, Joe Castañeda, is helping me work on the mental side of my game, including my responses. Thank you for your brutal honesty, I’ll work on that too….

(I can dream, can’t I?)

These three things are true of everyone living as a victim:

1. Decision are based on fear, not faith.
2. You must find ways to blame others, instead of moving forward with personal responsibility.
3. More time is spent regretting, than rejoicing.

Rise above being a victim. Play at a high level in whatever ‘game’ God has called you to, and as you do, watch God do amazing work in and through you.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

*An “Overboard-er” [plural: Overboard-ers] is the term given to one choosing to live Overboard. Can be personalized, as in, “I am an Overboard-er”. Often used to describe someone who is perpetually grabbing the side of the proverbially boat and jumping sea-ward. For example, “That [insert name here] sure loves being an Overboard-er.

Do the unthinkable

A few weeks ago I came across a great blog about faith and the arts. I really want to encourage you to check out Joey O’Conner’s blog. I highly recommend you sign up for his email list and receive a free copy of his book, “The Longing”. It’s outstanding and I think you’ll find Joey’s writing is very compelling, entertaining and super personable. Here’s the link to Joey’s blog: http://www.joeyo.org

As I started scanning his blog page, I realized that he was the director of one of my favorite mini-movies, ever. He did the biographical piece on Scott Rigsby. I mentioned Scott in my first book, and in fact, referenced Joey’s movie. Scott was an 18 year old Georgia kid, fresh out of high school, working in the summer while he was getting ready for college in the fall. A freak accident involving a trailer and a semi put Scott in the hospital, made him endure countless medical procedures and surgeries, and over several years, eventually cost him both of his legs.

A former high school football player and athlete, Scott’s life took a nose dive. He battled depression, fear, anger and bitterness as he dealt with his new life. However, in the depths of his struggle, Scott came to terms with his faith in God and Scott’s life took on a whole new story. You could not spend a better few minutes today, than the few it will take you to watch this story:

Scott Rigsby

Scott is truly living the Overboard Life. How about you? Will you do the unthinkable for God?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!