I wanted to punch a guy...

Last week, Traci and I had the opportunity to take in a Mariner’s game and visit some dear friends while we were on our West Coast tour. We drove up Wednesday (about 4 hours from my family in Salem) and enjoyed a beautiful night, even though the M’s lost, while catching up with Bob and Emily, the first couple to join our youth staff when we worked in Washington. It was a great night.

The next day, we caught up with friends Tal & Joan, and then thanks to a blown appointment (I really felt like April 8th should have been a Thursday...not a Wednesday! Sorry Ritters!) we ended up with a somewhat free afternoon. The sun was shining and it was the first alone time we had experienced in a couple of weeks, so Traci and I took to downtown Seattle on a gloriously sunny day. If you can catch Seattle on warm and sunny day, it truly is one of the great American cities to enjoy.

After hanging around Pike’s Place Market for a couple of hours, we headed back up toward the Space Needle where we would find a pizza shop to eat, and hit the road to catch up with another friend before leaving for Salem. While walking among the crowds who were enjoying the weather like us, we fell in step with a man talking on his cell phone.

I totally started listening to his conversation and saw that Traci was doing the same. After just a few moments, I realized what was happening, and I wanted to intervene. I’m not, nor have I ever been, any kind of fighter or brawler, but something was rising in me that wanted to hurt this man at some level. He was a pimp, and he was preparing one of his girls for her night of work. Here’s what we heard at the end of his call:

“Hey, where are you at?”

[response]

“How much money have you made?”

[response]

“It’s only $150? You’ve gotta do better than that.”

[response]

“So here’s what I want you to do. Go get your son and spend some time with him. I’ll get you a place to rest and I’m going to buy you a coffee...”

[response]

“That’s right, I’m going to buy you a cup of coffee, get you some food, and I want you to rest up before you take more calls for tonight. So just enjoy your son, and then we’ll take more calls tonight.”

Traci is preparing for a trip to Thailand to work with women who are trafficked for sex. As a result she’s been learning a lot about the problem of human trafficking and the reality of its ugly presence in countries like Thailand, and in places like Seattle. The use and abuse of women (and men) for sexual pleasure is vile.

This guy’s call was a textbook call to “his” girl. He was gentle and kind, although very firm ($150 was not enough profit so far) but he was providing her a chance to be with her son, have a place to rest, and even a cup of coffee. In his own sick way, he was taking care of her needs, while coercing her to use her body for his own financial gain and perverse pleasure. The whole thing is sick, yet the cycle is complex and the solutions aren’t simple.

Going to Thailand this summer, my wife will get to experience a rescue work happening in one of the major human trafficking places in the world. This issue is both heart-breaking and sickening, yet there is an army of people rising up to bring true hope and healing around the world, and here in the U.S. I’m sure we both will be sharing more about this topic in the weeks to come.

What ultimately “got me” about the call in Seattle, was the thought that the person on the other line was a woman -- not a thing, not a sex toy, not an item to posses. She isn’t any man’s property, but she is a beautiful person created in the image of God, created to know Him and be known intimately by Him. That she is a prostitute doesn’t change her value as a person (any more than this guy who is pimping her, is somehow less of person). Our actions don’t determine our value to God.

A couple years back I wrote a post about this topic, reminding readers that these women were born as daughters to moms and dads. They were precious little children, perfect in their parents’ eyes, and they entered this world adored. The tragic events and choices that led to their current condition, doesn’t change their true identity. And even if they weren’t loved by an earthly family, they were -- and are -- intimately loved by their Heavenly Father!

No matter where life takes you, or where those you love choose to dwell, the truth of Psalm 139 rings through all of our circumstances and tells us that God loves us deeply, and longs for us to know Him as He knows us:

“I look behind me and you’re there,

    then up ahead and you’re there, too—

    your reassuring presence, coming and going.

This is too much, too wonderful—

    I can’t take it all in! (139:5-6)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

    you formed me in my mother’s womb.

I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!

    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

    I worship in adoration—what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

    you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

    before I’d even lived one day. (139:13-16)

Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!

    God, I’ll never comprehend them!

I couldn’t even begin to count them—

    any more than I could count the sand of the sea. (139:17-18) The Message

As my pastor says at the conclusion of every message, “You are dearly loved.” Indeed, you are dearly loved, and I trust today you will know God and His love more, and share it with the world that so desperately needs to hear the message. The woman on the street, her son and even her pimp, need to hear the message of hope that God loves them, He has provided hope and salvation and He answers anyone who calls on His name.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

The beginning of our alphabet: AJ is born

I don’t care what the experts say -- nothing actually prepares you for birth and parenting. We attended the breathing classes, we watched other peoples’ kids, we read books and talked to other parents, but none of it prepares you for the reality of the delivery room and life after your precious little diaper pooper is brought home. Next to getting married and learning to share the blankets with another human being, kids are the biggest game-changers in life.  

I have a lot of memories of AJ’s birth. I remember the night before he was born, Traci and I had been up late with some friends, so as we went to bed around 11:30pm/midnight, I rolled over and said to her belly, “Ok little guy, we need a good night’s sleep, so no middle-of-the-night surprises, ok?” AJ has always been such an obedient child, so that’s why at 1:30am Traci wakes me up with, “My water just broke.”

After I realized that her water breaking meant the big show was starting (I was a little groggy for the first few moments of her announcement), operation child birth went into full swing. I woke up my Mother-In-Law who was ready to meet her fourth grand child, I called my parents and then threw the pre-packed suitcase and camera gear into the car. At 1:45am we left the house and at 1:55am we were checking in to the hospital as contractions were starting to get stronger.

The rest of the night was a blur as  Traci’s contractions grew in intensity, and I watched them fly off the little monitor that ranges from “This is really hurting” on the low end, to “good thing you’re getting a baby out of this” on the high end. Her contractions were, literally, off the charts. By 8am I was sure little AJ was about to make an appearance (based on my extensive medical knowledge about child birth), but the doctor dropped some bad news on us. Traci was having what he called “couplet” contractions. That meant that two contractions were occurring one right after the other. The first was pushing the baby out, but the second one, happening seconds after the first, was actually pushing the baby back up. That meant at 8:30am, Traci’s 7 hours of labor had accomplished little in getting AJ out of her womb.

I remember the look of discouragement on my wife’s face. She was in such pain and discomfort as, for the time being, the contractions were not accomplishing what they were supposed to. She pressed on for two more hours before finally requesting an epideral to help with pain. I still remember the moment the doctor injected the meds through her spine. Traci was grimacing as another contraction spiked off the chart, and seconds later she was lying down, talking to me, like nothing was happening. I was watching the contractions on the monitor and trying to comfort my wife when she fell asleep. 9 hours of hard labor was exhausting, and it didn’t help that she had only slept 90 minutes the night before.

The day dragged on and AJ insisted on taking his sweet little time. It wasn’t until about 4pm that the doctor informed me that we were getting close. At 4:32pm on June 19th, 2001, little AJ made his grand entrance into the world. He was not particularly fond of life outside the comfortable womb, but after the doctor cleaned him up, got him breathing, wrapped him up like a 6.5lb Mexican burrito and then placed him on Traci’s chest, AJ quieted down and we both began to cry; we had a baby boy!

After about 15-20 minutes of Traci and I enjoying our new child, I went out to the waiting room and announced to our family that a baby boy named AJ (Aaron Joseph) was safe and sound with his mom. Soon after, the moms came in and celebrated with tears of joy, and later the dads proudly held their new grandson (#4 for my father-in-law and #7 for my dad). It was a very special day, and we had no idea how much that one day would change our lives.

Today, almost 13 years after AJ was born, I can hardly remember what life without kids was like. Traci and I loved the four years we spent in Seattle, serving the Lord without children of our own, but now it seems like we’ve always had kids. It’s hard to imagine that a day will come when our children aren’t living in the house with us and that they, too, may give us the joy of grandchildren (although CJ has made it clear that she will remain in our house indefinitely).

Children are indeed a wonderful gift from God, and in part, I think God gives them to us as a picture of His love for us. A few days after taking AJ home from the hospital, Traci was resting on the bed and I was holding our new baby boy as I sat on the couch. He was bright-eyed, and looking right at me, and I was marveling that God actually trusted me with providing life-giving care to another human being. AJ was so fragile, his total well-being depended on Traci and I, and there was nothing he could do to provide anything for himself. He could cry his little eyes out (and on many occasions he did!), but apart from us intervening, he would cry in vain.

Isn’t that how it is with us? We are helpless without God. Oh, we like to think we are strong by ourselves, we like to think we can achieve greatness on our own, we like to think it’s all up to us, but at the end of the day, we would be at a loss were it not for God’s life-giving care. You may not always (ever?) acknowledge Him, but that doesn’t negate His presence in your life.

God loves you with an everlasting love. It’s no surprise then, that when you and I enter into a relationship with Him through faith in Jesus’ sacrifice for us, we become adopted sons and daughters! Not guests or renters. Not cousins or step-relatives. Not slaves or employees. We become adopted sons and daughters, children of the King, and heirs with Jesus, God’s first Son.

As I held AJ that day on the couch, I had an amazingly new understanding of God’s love for me. I couldn’t believe how much I cared for and loved this little boy that I had only known for four days! How much more does God love you and me after knowing us before we were even known -- before the world was even created (Ephesians 1:4)? In that moment, I knew I would do anything to protect and care for my son, and I knew God had already done everything to provide for me at my deepest need; not just a relationship with Him that protects me from hell, but a relationship with Him that sustains me each and ever day, through joys and sorrows, victory and pain, in my good days and especially in my bad ones.

I want to be dependent on God each day, just like AJ was (is!) dependent on me and Traci to provide for his needs. And an interesting truth emerges as I grow in my walk with God -- the more I know Him, the more I strive to love and serve Him, the more I realize how much I need Him. My dependence actually grows with age. And that’s a good thing.

Are you trusting God with your day, today? Are you laying out your needs and wants before Him? Are you trusting Him with your goals and dreams? As you move forward in your life, I hope you’ll find that you are trusting Him more, not less. I hope you’ll realize that the Overboard Life can only be lived with God’s help. May you and I grow stronger by leaning further into His love and grace.

29 down, 11 to go.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!