Not cockiness. Not arrogance. Not pride.
Confidence is so attractive. Those who lack confidence are often jealous of those who do have confidence and sometimes even say things in an effort to try and make themselves feel better like downplaying or attacking the confidence of others.
I am writing this during spirit week at my daughter's school. She is 13 and up to this point rarely seems to care what others think of her. Well, at least that's the front she wears on the outside. Today was Disney day and sad to say, we don't own any Disney t-shirts and our box of dress up clothes and things that would help an outfit are in storage. But, this morning my 13-year-old decides she wants to dress up. She settles on a princess because I have a pretty cool looking, sparkly, "diamond" laden crown that she can wear. She wears her favorite purple, knee-length dress. And she once again settles on the shoes of my suggesting - purple, pink, and green paisley Vans. She looks adorable, as usual, and her long flowing dishwater blonde hair is under that crown.
We get to the drop off point and she is suddenly concerned that no one else will be dressed up and that the crown is bothering her head and, and, and. . . she is losing confidence.
One year ago, this same girl just one week after starting the seventh grade at a brand new school, in a brand new town, with brand new friends went to school dressed as Batman. She was in all black, with a cute little Batman cape and even the ears to go with it! It wasn't even spirit week or dress up day - she simply felt like going to school as Batman.
And now, one year later, with a crown on her head she is completely lacking confidence to jump out of the car.
When I was in middle school I would have loved to have the confidence to wear a Batman outfit to school or even to wear something that I thought was cute but wasn't necessarily in style. I did little on spirit weeks because I was afraid - afraid I had the wrong date, afraid I would be the only one, afraid people might laugh, afraid I might be noticed, afraid I might not fit in with the crowd I already didn't fit in with. Hmmm. Strange what fear can do and how irrational it can make our thinking. I longed to have the confidence to just wear and be and do what I wanted. I had it in elementary school and it returned, maybe not in full force, but it returned in high school.
I told my daughter this morning that there are girls watching her that, regardless of what they say, will wish they had dressed up today. They might even say that it's dumb to dress up, but inside they want to. They want to be like Batman, jumping out of the car with her cape blowing in the breeze and a confident smile on her face.
Confident girls are attractive. Confident girls are beautiful. Especially when their confidence is placed in Jesus - not trying to impress others - but fully ok with how God designed them. Confident in who they are. Confident in their own skin.
We don't just wake up one day confident in our own skin. For most of us it takes some work and some effort to remember that we were made exactly the way God wants us. He didn't make a mistake in His master plan. He didn't mess up the design work of our personality, family, skin color, freckles, height, or even geographic location. We must simply accept the design. There is a song and a line in that song says, I have surrendered to your design.
When we surrender to our design . . . I did not say when we shrug our shoulders and concede to the fact that we were designed like this . . . poor me. No! When we surrender - accept, embrace, even love - our God-design, then we can walk through our day, our school, our workplace, the mall, or church with absolute confidence. We can don the Batman outfit without fear of what other people will think of who we are. And when they laugh or think its crazy we can laugh with them because we are ok with ourselves. We will no longer need to do things for acceptance from others because we will fully understand that we are accepted by God. Now that's confidence. That's beautiful. That's extraordinary!
My name is Traci, and I love sharing insights that challenge and encourage people to be the best version of themselves. Click HERE to receive updates from Be Extraordinary!