What's your pain threshold?

Do you have a high pain threshold? When it comes to physical pain, I must admit, I’m a bit soft. I’m not one of those guys who has visions of himself enduring weeks or months of pain, suffering and hunger on an desolate island after being shipwrecked and left for dead. I’m more like the guy who envisions himself calling on his cell phone for help, waiting about 20 minutes, and then covering himself in bacon grease so the bears will eat him quickly. What about you? Of course, there are many forms of pain, and while my physical pain threshold may not be particularly high, I’m learning live with -- even embrace! -- pain in other areas of life. After all, endurance is a requirement for anyone who wants to live the Overboard Life!

On April 18, 1981, in the New England town of Pawtucket, two baseball teams from the International League began a game at 8:00pm, with no possible knowledge of what was about to transpire. Before the eight hour game was over, every American professional baseball game record for length of game (in hours and innings), for at-bats, for pitches, for walks, strikeouts, put-outs and plate appearances would be broken. Two future hall-of-famers would be present but have no bearing on the final outcome. The game was suspended, at 4:09am, by a phone call from the IL president, and finished, as only baseball can do, two months later on June 23rd (after just 18 minutes of play).

I can’t imagine playing in a baseball game that lasted over eight hours, although I must admit that had I been in attendance, I most likely would have stayed to the end. By most counts, only 19 people (of the original 1,800 in attendance) watched the final at-bat in the bottom of the 32nd inning after the clock struck 4am. Despite the thinning crowd (is 19 a crowd?), the bitter cold wind blowing thru the stadium and the lack of any end in site, both teams played through less-than-stellar early Spring conditions in Rhode Island that night, and finished the marathon baseball game.

While few, if any, understood the significance of the game, years later, they would be grateful for the experience. Pawtucket’s Dave Koza, who had the game-winning hit, would later say, “Nothing I ever do in life will probably compare with this!” And Rochester’s Dallas Williams would later add, “It sank in the next day. Man, we just played 32 innings of baseball. We joked about it. We had smiles on our faces. I was thankful I was a baseball player and on the field that night. As time went by, I appreciated it more.”

The stadium was packed on June 23rd when the two teams met to finish the game. Extra tables were set up for the 150 members of the press who came to see the end of this marathon game. It ended after one inning of play -- just 18 minutes -- and Pawtucket won the game. Koza, the Pawtucket hero, was inundated with fan mail, letters of praise and national recognition for his part in the drama. While he would never play baseball at the Major League level, he will always be remembered for his part in this story. Cal Ripken Jr, one of baseball’s all time great players, and another not-too-shabby infielder named Wade Boggs, would both be enshrined in MLB’s Hall of Fame, and both would be forever connected as players in that marathon game.

But why? Why play baseball for 8 hours? Why endure the cold? Why not just give up and let the other team win? Why not forfeit? Why would an umpire, in attendance with his 9-year-old nephew, keep the game going? Why wouldn’t one of the team managers put an end to this nonsense? In his book, Bottom of the 33rd, Dan Barry suggests this reason: “Because we are bound by duty. Because we aspire to greater things. Because we are loyal. Because, in our own secular way, we are celebrating communion, and resurrection, and possibility.”

I sat on those words for a few minutes, thinking about how they applied to baseball. There is a majesty to baseball, even thought it’s just a game, and there is an honor to its members and history that is different than any other sport. Baseball history binds today’s players to an unwritten duty from the past, and challenges them, through the eras, to do greater than their forefathers. Baseball players tend to be fiercely loyal, and anyone who watches the game knows it is nearly a religion.

As I thought about those words and how they reflected the great American Pastime, I began thinking about how they applied, even more, to life. Why should we endure hardships that stretch our faith? Why should we follow God’s path for our lives, when it’s guaranteed -- 2 Timothy 3:12 -- to have challenges, struggles and trials? Why not quit? Why not give up and take the easy path?

Simply put, to steal from Dan Barry, “Because we are duty bound. Because we aspire to greater things. Because we are loyal. Because, in our own [spiritual] way, we are celebrating communion, and resurrection and possibility.” Think about each of those phrases:

We are duty bound: “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died” (2 Corinthians 5:14, NIV). We are bound to God in holy duty, because of the sacrifice of Christ. God’s love compels us to keep pressing on!

We aspire to greater things: “God can do anything you know, more than you could ever imagine, guess or request in your wildest dreams...” (Ephesians 3:20, The Message). The possibilities for our lives are endless, not because of who we are, but because of who Christ is!

We are loyal: “But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind, and straining toward what is ahead, I press on to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV). We press on because of what is in store for us, in this life and the next. We loyally set aside any earthly gain in order to be faithful in Christ!

We are celebrating communion, and resurrection and possibility: “If the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead, will also give life to your mortal bodies because of His Spirit who lives in you” (Romans 8:11, NIV). The power that resurrected Christ from the dead is the same power that unites all believers in holy communion, and it is celebrated and remembered in the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, which is the power that removes any barriers from any God-given goal!

Whatever you’re going through, I urge you to press on. Whatever challenges you face, keep moving forward as you follow Christ, out of the comfort of the boat, and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom. The game you’re in might go extra innings, the wind may start blowing cold and the spectators will disappear long before the challenge is finished, but duty, greatness, loyalty and holy communion call you onward. Answer the call, get out of the boat, and see what God will do.

“Play Ball!” and finish the game, no matter how long it takes.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

50 Shades of Grey...and 37 uses of the word "Sex"

[warning: This blog post contains a frank discussions about sex, and is really intended for married couples and adults] I don’t know if you’ve heard the news or not, but apparently there’s some movie coming out this weekend that involves gratuitous sex, sensualized erotic violence and a fair share of graphic nudity. Apparently it’s a movie that is from a wildly popular book containing the same content (without pictures) and apparently a record number of movie goers are expected to attend the weekend premier. Apparently sex still sells, thus I'm hoping 37 uses of the word (or its variants) in my blog will keep you reading to the end.

There’s a lot of hype about this film of which I only know details from blogs I’ve read, and articles I’ve seen on my Facebook feed. I haven’t read the book(s), and I haven’t seen any particulars about actual content apart from the summaries mentioned above. I have been surprised by some of the people who are vocally boycotting this film, and equally by those who are eagerly planning to attend. (Almost ironically, I’m sitting in a coffee shop writing this blog post, and an add for 50 Shades of Grey just played on the radio.)

Whenever something like this grabs the attention of our culture, I’m always surprised by the responses of people on either side. Supporters of this particular film refer to it as a “redemptive love story” (from one blogger), and the graphic sexual depictions as “just sex” not much worse than you can watch on your television at home. Opponents call it “pornography” and an “appalling display of violence against young women.”

I don’t know why these reactions keep surprising me, they shouldn’t. And truthfully, they shouldn’t surprise you, either. We live in a world, and especially a culture, that loves to glamorize and sensationalize sex. This weekend’s movie sounds offensive on a lot of levels, but it’s really not much worse than so many other weekend offerings. Apparently, 50 Shades of Grey pushes the envelope significantly, but that’s what we should expect from a movie culture that thrives on hype, shock and pre-release buzz in order to sell tickets.

A few weeks back I was watching a movie with a friend, and all seven previews shown before our movie, included some sensualized image to draw in movie goers and sell tickets. Scantily clad women dancing at a party being crashed by secret agents, a gorgeous model wearing “Shorts” (I think the belt from my pants would have hung lower on her body than her shorts did!) was suggestively starting a car race, another woman disrobes and climbs into a bath tub with her boyfriend, a horror film preview showed more naked bodies than clothed ones (the whole horror genre reeks of sexualized violence!), and an upcoming “comedy” included the naked backs of a dozen women in an apparent attempt at making an orgy seem, funny. All of that was in the previews for movies!

I haven’t heard about any boycotts concerning those movies, and several have already been released in theaters. Why not?

Here are a couple of thoughts: First, in our sex-saturated culture, we aren’t shocked by “normal” displays of immorality. My wife and I have enjoyed a few TV shows that we watch on Netflix, and over the years have been shocked by how often immoral relationships are glamorized and normalized on the screen. Scantily clad women seducing married men is just another day at the office. Crime scene investigators solving a mystery at a strip club just happens, and two wildly beautiful women making out in the back room of a hospital just doesn’t shock us. We’ve become conditioned to believe these things are “normal” and “ok”. 50 Shades of Grey sends shock waves because it supposedly takes acceptable perversion to a new level. Personally, I hope it helps point out how conditioned we’ve become to all forms of perverse entertainment.

Secondly, “intimacy” has become so public, we’ve lost sight of the beauty of sex. Any of the opponents to this weekend’s movie who cast a shadow of doubt on the beauty and sanctity of sex, are just as guilty of destroying intimacy as the actors and directors of the movie (or any of the movies described above). SEX IS AWESOME and is a magnificent expression of intimacy and oneness, given to us by God, to be enjoyed in the richness of marriage. Suggesting that sex (implied) shown on the big screen, is “courageous” or “the true meaning of erotic” flies in the face of the intimacy that should be shared between a husband and wife in their sexual lives together.

Traci and I have been married for over 18 years, and I can tell you that our enjoyment of sex hasn’t waned a bit, while our capacity to engage, satisfy and fulfill each other has improved dramatically. There is nothing boring about our bedroom, and the moments we share raptured in physical intimacy are frequent, thrilling and incredibly intimate.

In fact, I’ve come to believe that the sex-saturation of our culture has struck at the central nerve of sexual expression by destroying that key component: the intimacy that was meant to be shared between two married people. When sex is reduced to a show, to physical pleasure shared in a raunchy bar, to uncontrolled animalistic urges between two (or three or four ...!) out-of-control college students, to day-time frolicking between a stay-at-home mom and the neighborhood pool boy or a desperate business man preying on the availability of young naive female employees, it becomes nothing more than an urge like hunger, sleepiness or anger. And like those other urges, it is satisfied immediately in any way possible.

By contrast, intimate sex is one of the greatest gifts any two people can give each other in the context of marriage. Hebrews 13:4 states, “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex” (The Message). Sex is honorable, beautiful, sacred and when it’s treated like that, it will become fun, satisfying and intensely intimate. That kind of intimacy is what has led to a deeper understanding and oneness between me and Traci, and has become a spiritual picture of our relationship with God. When sex is seen in its proper light, no book, movie or web site can satisfy the sexual longings like true, God-ordained intimacy.

Instead of partaking in someone else’s sex life this weekend (or any weekend!), indulge in yours, and work on your marriage-bed intimacy. Don’t let this culture rob you of the great joy of true oneness. Men, don’t give in to the temptation to believe that onscreen (movie, TV, phone, tablet or computer screen!) sex has any valid claim to your thoughts, or will ultimately increase your sexual pleasure. Women, don’t romanticize the sexual experiences and “love” of characters created to exploit your emotions. 50 Shades of Grey is just one example of a nearly endless barrage of attacks aimed at destroying the intimacy for which sex was given to us. Next week there will be another movie, another book or another TV show attempting to do the same thing.

Let’s root out the sources of sexual perversion in our lives, and work hard on our marriages. Overboard author, Steve Etner, has a great book and has developed a ministry particularly aimed at helping men who struggle with sexual temptation. At the bottom of this blog, you’ll see several other tools and resources available to help you (men or women) reclaim the true purpose and meaning of sex.

Choose to enjoy YOUR valentine this weekend...and next week...and next weekend...and...

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- including your sex life! -- is always better on the water!

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I love the guys at www.xxxchurch.com, offering great help for men and women with sexual purity.

http://www.purelifeministries.org is another great site aimed at helping people work through their struggles with misplaced sexual values.

How much can you be bought for?

A few weeks ago, one of my friends posted an interesting scenario on her facebook page. She had stopped by a store on her way home from being out, and paid for a couple of energy drinks using a $50 bill. The clerk however, gave her change as though my friend had given her $60. The clerk had probably just hit the “6” key, instead of the “5” key when typing in the amount given. By the time my friend got home and counted the money, she realized she had $55 in her wallet where she once had $50!  

So she posed the question on facebook: what would you do if you were given the wrong change?

The responses were varied, super interesting and at times incredibly humorous. Some people thought she should give the money back, even though a trip back to the store was 25-30 minutes round trip. Other felt like the mistake of the clerk was foolish -- who gives change for $60 when only one bill was given? (Oh c’mon, you’ve never heard of a $60 bill?) Several others were divided, feeling like a call should be made to acknowledge the mistake, and change given if it was convenient. Still others were somewhat undecided.

What about you? Would you return the change? What factors would influence your decision? Would it matter if you had to travel 30 minutes to return it? Would it matter if there was some inherent risk in making the trip? Would the dollar amount influence your decision?

A few years ago Traci and lived across from a Safeway super market. After we checked out and got him, we realize the clerk had given us change (on a $100 bill) and two brand new, crisp twenty dollar bills had gotten stuck together. The result was that we were $20 richer. We realized right away what had happened, so we walked back across the street, got in line with our teller, Demetrius, and returned the change.

He was so thankful. He has to count his register at the start and end of his shift, and any discrepancies in the money can result in either him having to pay back the shortage, or him potentially losing his job if there were repeated mistakes and/or a large sum missing. He was not a repeat offender, but he was so thankful he wouldn’t have to explain a missing $20 to his manager. And honestly, he was a bit surprised that someone would return $20 of his mistake. As he pointed out, “There is no way of knowing who got the extra $20 and if it had been me, I probably would have bought a case of beer and a bag of chips with the extra money!”

All of us face decisions like this in our lives. Whether it’s about getting back too much change at the grocery store, receiving credit for work that wasn’t ours, passing the blame onto someone who wasn’t at fault or hiding the facts of a situation from a spouse, or child, a boss, a legal authority or even the IRS. All of us face these types of decisions that are asking the same basic question: What is your personal integrity and character worth?

Living the Overboard Life demands integrity. Money is one of those areas where many of us can compromise our integrity in order to save a few bucks, make a few bucks or, like in our example today, to keep a few extra dollars that were mistakenly given to us. But turn the tables, and almost all of us would long for people to treat us with integrity and character. If you were responsible for the register and made a simple mistake, wouldn’t you be thankful for an honest customer who returned the extra money?

I’m notorious for leaving my wallet places. Traci and I were vacationing at the beach in Oregon one time, when we went shopping at a local mom and pop grocery store. We bought our stuff, drove back to the condo where we were staying, fixed dinner and started watching a movie. Suddenly my cell phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize. When I answered, it was the local grocery store calling to let me know they had found my wallet and were holding it at the front counter. When they searched inside they found a card with the name of the company who owned the condo we were staying at. They called the front desk, the front desk gave them my cell number, and they called to make sure I knew where my wallet was.

Traci and I drove to the store and realized that, unlike most days, I actually had cash in my wallet that day -- closet to $100. And when we picked up the wallet, every dollar bill was still in there, and nothing had been taken. I found out the name of the young man who discovered the wallet and turned it in, and gave him a $10 tip for his honesty. He wasn’t going to take it, so I gently jammed it in shirt pocket knowing that any 16-year-old kid is happy for an extra $10.

Would you have turned in the wallet? Would you have made the effort to find its owner the way that store manager did? Both the young man who found it, and the manager who took time to find me, demonstrated something really important: Their integrity was worth more than $100. What about you, what is your integrity worth?

Have you ever lied about your child’s age in order to save a few dollars on your child’s ticket at the movie theater or at a theme park? Would you return the money given to you, incorrectly, by a clerk who had made a mistake? Would you leave a bill unpaid when a clerk made a mistake on your order and gave you your meal for free? (This just happened to me recently, and you should have seen the expression on the manager’s face when I returned the receipt and offered to pay the amount in full!)

What is your integrity worth?

I long to keep my integrity in tact, and believe me, I face challenges ever day (as I know you do, too!). I wish I could tell you I had a perfect track record, but that doesn’t give me an excuse for falling short in the future. Solomon said it well, “A good name is more valuable than great riches” and your integrity is your good name. I don’t want to give mine away for a stuck $20 bill, a mistaken return of $5 or for saving a few bucks at the movie theater. My integrity is worth more than that. After all, if I’ll compromise myself for to save a few dollars on a child ticket, what message am I sending my children?

Your integrity is one of your greatest assets. Hold the course now, and it will pay great dividends down the road later.

Go ahead and take the plunge, your integrity is stronger on the water!