"No Thru Traffic" and the shortness of life.

I try to walk three to four times a week, partly to keep active and healthy, and partly to keep strengthening my knee after this past summer’s surgery. When I don’t walk with Traci, I often spend my time memorizing verses, praying or just thinking through the challenges and opportunities we’re currently facing. It seems like several blogs have emerged as a result of my walks.

On my walk this morning I decided to take a detour through our local cemetery. I chuckled (darkly) as I entered thru the main gate due to the sign that read, “No Thru Traffic.” Indeed, the traffic headed to the cemetery is generally not headed out. And that’s when my stroll turned somber, as I snapped a few pictures, read a few names and tombstones and was reminded of the reality that life is short.

Each tombstone in the cemetery represents a life, a story of someone who lived on this earth and engaged others. With their last names listed boldly for others to see, I began to wonder what these people had been like during their living years. Jackson, Walter, Titus, Campbell, Winter Thornburg, Hansen, Olsen, Eherhardt, Sherwood, White, Kies, Brown...on and on the names emerged from gravesite after gravesite. Some were adorned with freshly cut flowers, others hadn’t been visited in years.

There is something very sobering about a cemetery and the certainty of death. Two years ago I wrote a series of blogs about being at the statistical half-way point of life. Now, as days turn into weeks, and as years roll by, the reality is that one day I too will be in a vehicle that will pass thru the iron gate baring the sign, “No Thru Traffic” and some other walker or jogger will pass by my tombstone and wonder what I was like, and be curious about the kind of life I had lived.

Living the Overboard Life isn’t about fame, fortune, prosperity or comfort. Instead, the Overboard Life is a commitment to follow the Lord, whenever He calls, into any situation He has prepared for us. It’s about living life out of the overflow of God’s abundance, touching the heart of others with the life changing message of a relationship with God and living according to the design with which He has created in everyone of us.

Thanks to Jesus, I don’t fear death, but I fear living a small life because I let fear, anxiety and hardship define me more than the truth of who God made me to be. I fear that one day someone will see my headstone, and if they explored my story they would discover a man who let the worries and stress of this life block out the big picture that “could have been” had he grabbed the hand of His creator and lived out Ephesians 3:20: “God can do anything you know, far more than you can ever imagine, guess or request in your wildest dreams!”

I left the cemetery today (thankfully!) oddly encouraged to keep pursuing the Overboard Life. Right now life seems hard but only when I lose sight of the one whom I follow. When I keep focused on Him, I can grab the sides of the boat, jump out on the water and live the remarkable life to which I have been called.

What about you? Are you going through the motions? Are you defining yourself by the past or letting fear and anxiety cripple your future? Find real freedom by focusing yourself on the one who calls you out of the boat, and out on the water where He is doing His Kingdom work. That life will leave an extraordinary mark behind a tombstone some jogger will find on a quiet fall day, on a detour through the cemetery.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Thing I'm really bad at

Today’s culture almost makes it impossible for people to be labeled as “bad.” Whether it’s a particular skill, a subject at school or some kind of athletic competition, our culture tries to capture the good in everyone, by eliminating the bad. There are definitely some upsides to this.  

For example, I think kids growing up today are willing to try more things. My own children have had significantly varied experiences without the fear of being labeled as bad -- they’ll try to sing, enter a talent show, play a sport and so forth. In the same way, the “everyone is a winner” concept also creates confidence so that children who struggle in one area can be encouraged to grow since they are “good” at that particular event/activity/subject etc... Not being bad can be good.

But not being bad, can also be very bad. Telling everyone they’re good can eliminate the desire for excelling. In the Pixar movie about a family of superheroes who are trying to live normal lives, The Incredibles, Mrs. Incredible tries to encourage her son Dash (who is frustrated because he can’t enter school races because of his super human speed) by saying, “Dash, everyone is special.” Dash turns away and mutters under his breath, “In other words, no one is special.” He understood that when everyone is labeled good at the same thing, than no one can really rise to the top. The motivation for excelling is taken away.

There also seems to be a lack of overall personal growth when I’m already good at something. For example, if I’m being told I’m really good at math and, with little effort I’m getting a C-, why would I work any harder to improve my grade? Barring just a natural desire to do better, receiving praise and awards for a C- may be sufficient for my psyche. I’ve seen this response to praise from many more students over the past 14 years, than I’ve seen students try to up their game because of being good.

At the end of the day, I believe being bad at some things is probably one of the best realities we can face. It’s good to know, and to think about the things at which we aren’t very capable. The problem is, most of us don’t like to see our flaws, or at least when we do, we certainly don’t like dwelling on them for very long.

I am confident the Overboard Life requires constant, and honest evaluation of our own lives. And here are three benefits to honestly evaluating our abilities:

1. Humility is crucial for our spiritual, mental and emotional growth. We live in a world where egos abound, but the source of GODliness rests in “God” not in us! If you want to live an Overboard Life that reflects God more than you, you’ll have to embrace a healthy dose of humility to keep the right perspective. Both Peter and James reminds us, that “God opposes the proud, but He gives grace to the humble.” Humility is the starting point for personal growth.
2. Health comes from understanding the whole picture. When you think about your physical body, you are most healthy when you are addressing issues in every part of your body. You can’t just exercise and eat garbage. But eating well without exercise is also a no-win prospect. Total health comes from observing good nutritional habits, proper supplementation, regular exercise and healthy amounts of sleep and rest. In the same way, understanding your total person, strengths and weaknesses, leads to a healthier you. When you know what you can or can’t do well, you’ll be better able to tackle projects and work with others. I also find I beat myself up less when I’m honest about struggles. If I know I can’t cook, I don’t beat myself up when I’m in the kitchen and things don’t quite turn out right.
3. Help will come when you know where you need help! By honestly assessing my personal areas of weakness, I can seek the help I need for growth. Back to the body for a second. When I announced I was going to run a half marathon with my wife in October, I reached out to my running friends and asked for help. I didn’t know how to train, how much to run or not run, how often to rest and so on. My running friends (a psychotic group if ever I’ve met one!) have helped me beef up my running regimen so that I will be ready in October. If you are able to identify some character flaws or areas where you struggle to succeed, finding help is a whole easier when you know what you need help with!

By recognizing these three benefits to personal evaluation, I eliminate the need to beat myself up for my mistakes or shortcomings. Being humbled is a good thing. Improving my overall health is a good thing. Finding help is a good thing, and all of these will ultimately help me live life outside the boat more effectively.

A few months back Traci and I visited Southern California for a personal growth seminar called “Ultimate Leadership.” It’s put on by Henry Cloud and John Townsend and is a great experience for honest, deep and deeply personal self-evaluation. Before we went out to the 5-day event, we were given a large questionnaire to fill out and one of the questions dealt with our flaws and weaknesses. Here is how I answered their questions about being self-aware regarding my flaws:

“I’m pretty self-aware when it comes to my flaws. I try to surround myself with others who can fil in the gaps. Biggest flaws that affect my leadership style:

*Crappy with details

* Enjoy pressure...so I wait to the last minute

* Overly optimistic

* Lousy with time boundaries

* Not confrontational enough

The list could certainly be longer, but those were the first five to pop into my head. I have to work really hard to keep details organized in my life. I can manage them, but it takes a lot of effort and often requires help from my wife. I excel under pressure, but sometimes I put everyone under the same burden of pressure simply because I put things off for too long. Optimism is a good thing, but it’s possible to be overly optimistic. I would have been one of those guys playing music on the deck of the Titanic believing that everything was going to work out ok! It’s easy for me to stop everything I’m doing to help a friend or just to enjoy hanging out and swapping stories. But staying up until 1am, while getting up at 5:55am every day, can radically effect my productivity the next day. I can give too much time to some things/people, and not enough to others that are more deserving of my time -- I can be really bad with time boundaries. And my wife pointed out that I’m often not confrontational enough when it comes to certain relationships. Sometimes it’s far easier for me to just get it done myself, than to confront someone on their own mistakes (almost like not embracing the truth of this blog post for others!) or to hold someone’s feet to the fire when they have made a mistake.

So there, there’s a partial list of things I’m bad at. I’m ok with my flaws and if you really need to know more of them, feel free to ask! What about you? Are you ok with being bad at some stuff? Are you comfortable with your short-comings and weaknesses? Embrace those areas of your life where you struggle, as much as you embrace those areas of your life where you don’t. Humility, healthy and help await those who can evaluate themselves honestly and it will require all three to walk on water!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Inside and Out

My daughter BJ has been working on a science project the past two weeks. We make her take vitamins every day (twice a day) and she sometimes gets a little frustrated with our constant reminder, “BJ…did you take your vitamins this morning?” So for her science experiment, she decided to test whether or not the quality of our vitamins merited her consumption. She was trying to weasel out of taking them. She asked Traci, and looked online to find a suitable test. One test we’ve done, and one she found on YouTube, suggested testing the value and potency of the antioxidants in a vitamin. You do this by cutting up an apple and drop it in a jar with water. The apple represents a human cell, and by cutting it and placing it in the water, you expose it to oxidizing elements. In the jar, you place your vitamin and test the following:

1. Does the vitamin dissolve?
2. Does the vitamin offer any protection to the apple?

So Traci and BJ visited the local grocery store and purchased the only other children’s chewable vitamins they could find; Flintstones and Centrum. They filled four jars with water, put in our family vitamin in one, placed the other two vitamins in jars and then had one jar as a control sample (just water and apple, no vitamin). After that, BJ began observing the changes.

We believe in vitamins and supplements. In fact, we believe in our family vitamins so much that my wife works for the company as an independent distributor for them -- we had a lot on the line. So as BJ began her test, we felt confident of what she would discover, but I have to admit, I was a little worried about what might unfold.

Within hours it became very apparent that one nutritional supplement was superior to the other two. By the end of a week, two of the apples were black and covered in “vomitous goo” (that’s a scientific term my daughter coined), the one in water was brown and nasty (like when you leave a cut apple on counter) and the one with the family vitamin still looked mostly edible. (In order: Flintstones, USANA, Centrum, water)

BJ has become a vitamin zealot now, because she’s seen how well her vitamin protects her body’s cells.

As Traci and I were helping her put the finishing touches on her display for today’s presentation, I started thinking about how easy it is to focus on caring for our physical bodies, while neglecting the more important spiritual self; our very souls. Just like my daughter has had a visual on how well her vitamins protect her cells from those crazy-good-for-nothing Free Radicals (sounds like a 70’s band), I’ve seen how important it is to have a steady diet of spiritual care in our lives.

This became most evident to me when we moved to Michigan and we suddenly found ourselves in the unenviable position of trying to find a church. For five months we hopped from church to church, trying to find a good fit for our family. Without a doubt, we missed being spiritually connected to a church that was spiritually connected to us. Hebrews 10:25 reminds us, “Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching” (the Message).

We all need a spiritual connection. As a pastor, I used to remind people of the five components of a healthy spiritual diet. You can dress them up anyway you want, but at the end of the day your soul will be healthiest when all five of these are included in your life:

1. Daily time reading God’s Word. Today I was in Judges 17 preparing for next Sunday, and in Psalm 103 as I memorize along with my pastor.
2. Developing a habit of being with God in prayer, throughout the day. Not just a one time, “rubba-dub-dub, thanks for the grub” at meals, but rather, being connected to God all day.
3. Being a giver of your financial resources. Yes, this is a habit you need to keep a healthy soul!
4. Hanging out with other Christians. Of course, I’m not talking about living in a commune and excluding non-Christians. I’m talking about daily interacting with people who are also trying to pursue a life with God.
5. Serving those in need. Our greatest hypocrisy as Christians is that we don’t practice what we preach. We talk about the poor and needy, the broken-hearted and the depressed and we can sympathetically nod our heads at the plight of the widow and imprisoned while doing nothing. Service has to be a habit of true soul-care.

So be sure and take your vitamins. In fact, take the vitamins that will be best for your body. But even more, take care of your soul today. Could you begin a new habit today? After all, habits begin on the first day you start them, so what could you add to your regular routine today? Some Bible time? Generous giving? Service? Prayer? Friendship with other believers? The Overboard Life demands daily attention.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

100 days without fast-food

Since January 4th, I’ve been on a 100 Day Challenge to go without fast-food. I know, for some of you that’s an easy task, but fast-food has always been one of my vices. I admit…I love fast-food in all its various shapes and sizes. I’m especially a sucker for a burger-and-fries from just about any fast food joint. So here are three take-a-ways from my 100 Day Challenge:

I think about food a lot: I’m amazed at how much I think about food. During the first 20-25 days of this challenge, it became clear that food was on my mind a lot. I’d leave work at 11 and be thinking about where to stop for a quick bite. I realized that I set up a lot of appointments for lunch time so that I could grab the food I was thinking about. I also realized how often I used a small hunger pain as an excuse to grab some grub-to-go on my way home, taking the kids across town or just because.

I love conveniences: One of the reasons I like fast-food so much is that it’s highly nutritious (just seeing if you’re reading). No, it’s actually because of how convenient it is. I like the fact that I can order a meal and have it entering my mouth within 60 seconds. Seriously…60 seconds from when I say, “A number one with Coke” to when the first few fries are finding their way into my stomach. Sometimes I know I’ll feel like garbage an hour after I eat the meal, but the convenience of getting the food surpasses the possible side effects.

I have a lot of influence on what my kids like: My kids love fast-food, too -- especially the youngest two. There is a direct correlation between their love of all things McDonalds and the number of times it was convenient for me to take them there. That “Number one with Coke” has been a staple in my diet since the first time I bought one with my own hard-earned money at the age of 16. I’ve influenced my kids’ love and appreciation for fast-food by facilitating their access to it. I’m not inherently opposed to fast-food, just recognizing how easily I was able to influence my own children in this area.

So now that my 100 Day Challenge is over, what’s next?

I’m not really sure.

I was hoping today’s blog post was going to be some sort of super-clever, mega-inspirational post about dramatic life-change and massive over-use of hyphens. Well, at least my hyphen over-use goal has been achieved.

While I’m still trying to figure out what this 100 Day challenge will mean for my long range health goals, I have at least one conclusion to the matter: I need to make sure I’m influencing my kids so that they too, will seek to live a God-pleasing Overboard Life. If I can have a significant impact on their food choices, I want to have a significant impact on their spiritual journey. I can’t make them choose a life of obedience (that trick has never worked!), but my little experiment through fast-food withdrawal has taught me what I can do:

I can set a good example. If I want my kids to make healthier food choices, I need to set a better example in the foods I eat. Thankfully, my wife does a great job of providing healthy food choices and meals for our families. In fact, her influence in changing our family’s diet is proof that setting a good example is at least half the battle.

If I can influence their food choices, how much more should I want to influence their commitment and devotion to God? Deuteronomy 6:7 spells it out so well:

“And tell them [God’s commands] to your children over and over again. Talk about them all the time, whether you’re at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night, or getting up in the morning.”

And Jesus summarized all of the Bible’s commands in two categories: Love God and love others. The greatest influence I can offer my kids is that of teaching them to love God with everything, and to show that love by loving others.

I can create opportunity for them to experience success. Just like I want to give my kids a love for healthy food by providing good choices (allowing them to experience success in their health), I can create experiences for them to have success in loving God and loving others. Over the years, Traci and I have intentionally provided experiences for them that allow them to exercise a love for God by loving others. We’ve given them chances to serve the homeless, travel on mission trips together, bless the elderly, serve tables and clean up litter.

In each opportunity we’ve tried hard to give our kids ownership, let them express their service through their own gifts and talents and, at times, let them experience some amount of frustration and failure in their service. By walking with them and creating opportunities to experience success in their walks with God, I’m doing what I can to influence them for a life of loving God and loving others.

I can navigate the tough times with an enduring grace and faith. God has never made promises that living Overboard would be easy. Instead, He’s pretty well implied that a life of faith is full of challenges, obstacles and a fair share of suffering. In fact, it’s the reason a lot of people quit following Jesus -- He wasn’t promising them roses and popularity, He was promising them thorns and abandonment.

When those tough times come, I can influence my children’s faith by resolving to stay close God even as I wonder what His plan entails. Faith is messy. Faith can really complicate life at times. Faith demands that we trust God in all of life’s circumstances, and as I walk through the potential messes, complications and circumstances in trust -- I show my kids that the best life they could have is in God’s care.

I’m still trying to sort out how this past 100 days will influence my eating. Stay tuned for that update. In the mean time, I’ve seen how much my food choices have impacted my kids, and now I want to make sure I’m influencing them in eternal matters, too.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

I'm a Hotdog and a can of Mt. Dew: The discipline of health (6/7)

If you’re like me, you’re probably ripped, carrying around a 6-pack of abs, and proudly flexing your buns of steel while standing in line at the grocery store. However, you and I should pity those around us who lack naturally healthy and muscular builds like us. On behalf of those other people, you should read this and then pass along the important details. Not that any of this pertains to you or me.

Since you and I are perfect specimens of health, we know how our spiritual, emotional and mental health is closely tied to our physical health. We cannot be all that God made us to be while neglecting our physical well-being. However, many of our associates don’t know this.

My friend Amber Thiel helped create the Healthy Edge, with her sister April. After experiencing the loss of a loved one through physical sickness, Amber and April became committed to teaching people about healthy lifestyles. They want people to break free of the diet-cycle, and to start embracing positive choices as a way of life. Their passion led to the creation of The Healthy Edge, an amazing resource for good health. (I highly recommend you check out their site and get a 14-day free trial membership!)

Good health flows out of these five basic components. Granted, you and I know this, but alas, our misshapen friends do not:

1. Eat good tasting, low-glycemic foods: In other words, spend less time counting calories and more time reading labels. Quit spiking your blood sugar with food and beverage that is no bueno for your body (quit overdosing on Coca Cola, breads and pastas!) (weird...I was just looking in the mirror when I wrote that....)
2. Hydrate: In other word, you need to down about 80oz of water per day. No, your coffee doesn’t count as water. But of course, you and I know this, it’s our other friends who do not. Please share this important piece of data with them.
3. Exercise: In other words, stop blogging and start walking! You need 30 minutes of good cardio, every day to keep your body running optimally. It’s crazy how many preventable diseases could be kept at bay if people (your friends of course, not you) would walk around the block at a good pace, for just 30 minutes.
4. Take good supplements: In other words, learn how much of that “super vitamin” you bought at the grocery store is actually being absorbed by your body. Just because it’s on the label doesn’t mean it’s actually getting into your body. My wife is the supplement queen, visit her web site for more info!
5. Eat six ore more Super Foods: In other words, eat real food, regularly. Do you know why an apple doesn’t have a food label? Because it’s an apple. An apple, is what’s in an apple. Eat real foods, those fruits and veggies, nuts, lean meats, fish, cottage cheese, eggs etc... Remember, you are what you eat (which makes me a giant Hotdog and a can of Mt. Dew!)

Since you and I have honored our health perfectly, we understand how important taking care of our bodies is. How sad that so many of our friends don’t know this. But you might remind them that living the Overboard Life to its fullest, requires us to take care of all the resources God has given to us (time, money, relationships AND our health!). While we often can’t control circumstances that steal our financial resources, or how people respond to circumstances, we can almost always limit the negative stresses we put into our bodies. Those wishing to live Overboard must be disciplined in their health.

But, you and I already know this. So let’s make sure others are taking care of themselves. In fact, if you want to practice, stand in front of a mirror and repeat the five basic components of good health. See if the person on the other side of the glass is listening. If so, you’re off to a great start!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is better on the water!