Airline cheap seats and sharp swords.

This morning, Traci and I flew in to Phoenix, AZ from Detroit, MI, in order to celebrate our 20th anniversary by attending a week of Spring Training. It was an early flight for us with weird body-clock and weather adjustments. Like the fact that we left Detroit in rainy 30 degree weather at 7am local time, and arrived at 7:45am in Phoenix (after a 4 hour flight) and it was already 75. It feels great to be celebrating 20 years of marriage (our anniversary is in December, but obviously, Spring Training doesn't begin until March.) and to be doing that in sunshine after another cold Michigan winter.

After our flight landed, Traci headed outside with our carryon bags while I waited at the luggage carousel for our checked bag. All of us weary passengers stood for about 20 minutes before luggage started falling out of the luggage chute only to find out that the first set of bags belonged to an earlier flight than ours. Following another 15 minute delay, our bags started their trip around the carousel.

One young couple walked over to the information kiosk I was standing next to, while the first set of bags was falling, and they were visibly frustrated, trying hard to keep their calm while clearly very anxious in trying to locate their bags. Earlier that morning, their flight from Phoenix to Seattle was canceled, but they had already checked their bags on the cancelled flight. Now, out a bunch of money because they purchased last-minute one-way tickets to get home on another airline, they were in desperate need of their bags to make the flight with them.

I felt terrible for them because I know the frustration – first hand! – of feeling fairly helpless at the hands of the airlines while looking for bags or trying to figure out a way to get home (when you're snowed in to O'Hare). Yeah, been there, done that.

The airline with the canceled flight and lost bag was a discount airline, the same one we chose to fly from Detroit. I jokingly tell people that “the tickets are often dirt cheap” (we flew from Detroit to Phoenix for $110.00 per ticket; Traci and the girls flew from Detroit to Orland for $29 per ticket last December!) “but don't expect any conveniences. Like seat belts. Or seats that are comfortable.” Ha. It's the trade you make in order to experience such inexpensive travel.

As this couple was understandably upset about the service they had received, I was reminded that so often in life we want $110 tickets to cross the county in an airplane, but we expect $610 service for that money. I heard someone on our flight from Detroit lament the fact that the airline charged for all their snacks, and "they should give us something for being in our seats for nearly four hours!" They did, they gave you that seat for $110. That $3 you had to pay for your Coke still leaves you $497 ahead of the game compared to purchasing the same ticket other airlines were offering.

Believe me, I’m not casting any stones here. I totally get it, because often I prefer the amenities and convenience the other airlines offer me in my travels. Typically, given the choice, I would rather fly out of an airport closer to home (Detroit is almost 4 hours away), enjoy "free" refreshments, and know that I have a seat guaranteed before I get on the plane. But sometimes, a less expensive ticket makes more sense. For us, the cheaper flight allowed us to use the difference to pay for our hotel for the week in Phoenix; that was worth it on our end.

Life and airline travel have some uncomfortable similarities. Just like people are hoping to pay discount airline prices while demanding full fare amenities, too many of us want the best life has to offer while dedicating very little of ourselves to the process of becoming who we were made to be. We want all the benefits of personal growth, but we really try to avoid all the ways that personal growth occurs.

Hint: 99% of ALL personal growth, occurs while learning to endure hardships, walking through trials or busting through seemingly impossible obstacles. Character is formed when character is tested, and if there is no testing, there is no change. In my first book, Project Joseph I call it the Heat and Hammer principle.

You see, back in the day, swords were super useful weapons for combat. Making a sword was a high demand skill, because the price of going in to combat with a lousy weapon was literally life-threatening. But making a sword requires two key components: heat and hammers.

When the swordsmith begins preparing the metal for its combat use, he heats it up, over and over again, and between the heatings, uses a hammer to beat it into shape. The process of heating it and hitting it, allows the metal to develop the strength it needs so that the blade can be sharpened to perfection and used with precision on the field of battle. Without the heat and hammer, the sword will not protect its wielder. Likewise, to become the people God created us to be requires heat and pressure. 

You know where personal growth doesn't occur? In completing a 4 day binge-watching Netflix marathon of NCIS (insert your favorite show here). Believe me, I've tried! Or, in reading about others developing awesome character. Or even reading a guy's blog about how character is formed. God didn't design us to experience growth and character by doing nothing, instead, He created a world where everything that is worth becoming requires a pathway through the furnace of affliction, through the heat and hammer of life.

Are you under the hammer right now? Are you walking through the furnace right now? Though painful, It's a good place to be, as you learn to trust the Master Swordsmith in how He shapes you for His purposes. Once you've walked through the process, you will never want to go back to the way things used to be, no matter how "easy" it was to live there.

My friend Tim Zowada uses this equipment to make awesome custom knives and blades. Check out his work at: http://www.tzknives.com

In Isaiah 48:10, we read, “I have refined you…I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” Probably not words you’re going to find on a greeting card anytime soon, but words that speak the truth: the furnace of affliction is where God does His refining work in our lives. Fun? Not usually. Necessary? Absolutely! Do I crave the furnace of affliction? In the words of a dear friend of mine…”I do not like [the furnace of affliction], not on a boat, with a goat, not in the rain, in the dark or on a train…” but I love what the furnace produces: character that makes me more and more like Jesus.

If you’re trying to live the Overboard Life, you must learn to embrace the furnace of affliction. We must learn to endure the heat and hammer so that God can perfect us for His great purposes. The Overboard Life is forged in God’s character kiln!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life – even the hard parts! – is better on the water.

An undivided heart

Do you remember your first “love?” If you’re like me, you probably had some sort of crush on a person while you were pretty young, long before you had any real idea of what it meant to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, what it meant to date or even what it really meant to love someone.

I was in 5th grade when I reached out to my first real crush. Her name was Kimberly, and we used to hang out together on the playground at recess. We had attended the same school together, since 1st grade, and had often been with the same teacher during those years. We used to talk, hang out on the playground together and even attended the same summer camp one year.

One day I realized that I liked her for more than just a friend, and so over the weekend, my buddies convinced me that it was time to take the next step in our relationship. I learned the method for boldly asking a girl out involved me writing a note that said, “Will you go out with me?” complete with two check-boxes, one with the word “no” next to it, and one with the word “yes” next to it. The proper way to distribute this kind of formal invitation is to hand it to your best friend, who hands it to her best friend, who then hands it to the person you hope will read it.

I followed this process to a “T” and anxiously awaited Kimberly’s response. At the end of the school day, the note was passed from said girl, to her friend, to my friend, to me, and I casually placed the response in my back pocket. On the way home from school, as soon as no one was with me, I grabbed the note, took a deep breath and read her response: she had checked the “yes” box! Here I was in 5th grade, and I. Had. A. Girlfriend.

Turns out, having a girlfriend is quite a complicated issue. The next day, word was out and people were talking about the school’s newest couple. Yet, when I saw Kimberly, I didn’t know what to do. So being the Suave Latino Lover that I am, I chose to avoid making eye contact, and certainly did not speak a word to her. In fact, I remember making sure our paths didn’t cross for the whole day so that I didn’t have to figure out what to do or say with this girlfriend of mine.

Apparently that’s not what impresses a girl. Who knew? The next day, I kept up the same tactic and by day’s end I received a note from her friend to my friend to me, that explained that our relationship just wasn’t working out. I guess girl’s think you should talk to them and engage them if you like them and I was like, “Hey, you can find me on the wall ball court if you want to chat!” And just like that, my first relationship ended as quickly as it started.

Recently I was preaching through the “Let Us” phrases of the book of Hebrews, and I came across Hebrews 10:22: “Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart…” That phrase “sincere heart” has a cool meaning when the Greek is translated literally: “A heart answering to the ideal.” In other words, if a heart answers to the ideal (in this case, drawing near to God) it is undivided in its attention and focus. To draw near to God requires us to approach with an undivided heart!

As a 5th grader, I had no idea what it means to pursue someone with an undivided heart. Talking with my buddies, I really liked the idea of having a girlfriend, but in reality, I didn’t have the maturity to understand what a relationship entailed. In the same way, I think a lot of people, a lot of Christians, like the idea of “..draw[ing] near to God…” but don’t have the maturity to understand what it means to pursue Him with an undivided heart.

After all, we are a culture of divided interests. We love our sports. We love our food. We love our families. We love our houses and jobs. We love our income. We love our free time. We love our hobbies. We love our technology. We love our kids’ sports. We love our [_____ insert your love here _____] None of these, by themselves, is necessarily bad, but any one of these can become a barrier to having an undivided heart toward the Lord. Should I love my wife? ABSOLUTELY! But my love for her must come secondary to my love for God. When I love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, He enables me to love others more effectively than I could on my own.

Drawing near to God, a life-long ongoing process, should be the greatest aim of all believers. It is the root of bringing glory to Him with our lives, and the primary means by which we can gain perspective on everything else. When I am drawn in close to the Father, through Jesus, I have all that I need to manage the life He has given me. Easy? No! Simple? Yes!

Tomorrow when you wake up, check the “yes” box next to the question, “Will you draw near to me?” and ask God to help you follow through. Maybe you need to take a break from another relationship or hobby or technology or job in order to find that undivided heart. Whatever it is, know that drawing near to God will help you live life, out of the comfort of the boat, and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

4 years later: time for another presidential prediction.

[This post was originally written in 2012. I’ve tweaked just a few words, but it’s just as true today as it was 4 years ago!]

I already know the results of tomorrow’s election. Call it divine clarity. Call it a spiritual gift of prophetic vision. I actually don’t care what you call it, but the fact remains: I know the outcome of the election, and I know I’m right.

Here it is: Wednesday morning, millions of Americans will wake up fearful, sad and even angry.

Of course, if you have been engaged with year’s election at all (and it’s been hard to avoid it!), you know how contentious things have been. In my 42 years of living, spanning 13 presidential elections (including eight that I remember, seven that I remember moderately well) I have never seen one being so filled with animosity. The anger, condemnation and verbal beatings exchanged online, in businesses and over office water coolers has been unprecedented. And because of that, I’m confident of this: The “losing” team will not be happy come Wednesday morning.

Image from call-levels.com blog on presidential preference

So what are we supposed to do Wednesday morning? Here are a few commitments each of us should make, regardless of our party affiliations.

1. Pray for your leaders: Nothing is simpler, yet has more power to create change, than praying for leaders. For some reason we only employ this tactic when our candidate doesn’t win, basically praying prayers for God to remove the other guy at the next election. Paul reminds us that prayers are to be offered for everyone in authority, all the time: “our guy (or gal!)” or not! On Wednesday, whatever the outcome, commit to pray. “I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone -- for kings and all those in authority...” (1 Timothy 2:1).
2. Respect those in leadership: It’s Peter that reminds us to “show proper respect to everyone” (1 Peter 2:17), yet I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read something like this on facebook: “I know I’m supposed to respect the president, but....” But? There is no “but” clause in 1 Peter 2:17, or in Romans 13:7 where we are commanded to respect and honor those in authority. The point is this: Don’t “but” your way out of obedience. President Trump or President Clinton, it doesn’t matter, we owe them respect and honor. You don’t have to like their politics or policies, but you don’t have permission to badmouth them to coworkers, social media audiences or family members. Show respect to your leaders for the position they hold, even if you didn’t vote them there. I think we have a duty to fight for the right leaders (see also: #1 above), to converse (strongly), debate (graciously) and vote our conscience in light of Scripture. We don’t have the right to tear down God-appointed leaders. You don’t have to like him (or her), but you do have to respect them.
3. Live for Jesus, not for a political party: I sometimes worry that believers on both sides of the political spectrum put more faith in the political process than they do the life-changing process of Christ. Your party may have won the White House this week, but only Jesus can win/change the hearts of people. (Romans 2:29, 6:17, Ephesians 1:18) Don’t get lost in celebrating or mourning Tuesday’s election results, believing that hearts will move toward (or away!) from God and His standard because of who is sitting in the Oval Office. Yes, some politicians and policies can create an environment that frees or loosens the public expression of the Gospel, but none of them can contain, limit or strengthen the work of God! Live for Jesus and promote the Gospel, don’t live for your politics to promote a party unless it allows you a better position to share Jesus.
4. Make joy your daily habit: If your party wins on Tuesday, joy will be a whole easier on Wednesday. But it shouldn’t be. Joy should be your daily habit, whether your guy or gal is president or not. Why? Because Jesus is your king! Paul told us to “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4) Win or lose on Tuesday, make joy your response on Wednesday. And Thursday. And Friday... Jesus will still be king. In the midst of the political storms, joy could be your greatest witnessing tool.

Will you make these four commitments on Wednesday morning? Will you continue them on Thursday, regardless of the outcome of this year’s election? Politics is serious business, and the election (appointment) of the president of the United Sates (or whatever country/official rules in your home land) is not to be taken lightly. I'm voting my conscience tomorrow on a number of offices and issues, and I hope you are, too. But I'm putting my trust in the God who changes hearts whether my candidate wins or loses.

Put your name in the comments if you will commit to prayer, respect, life and joy.

So go ahead, take the plunge, life–including politics–is always better on the water!

What to do...

The other day I was lamenting that I didn’t know exactly what to do next. Sure, I had a general idea about the progress that needed to be made, but I had no certainty about what needed to be done that day to see any steps toward that goal. The lack of certainty created a little paralysis and after a day of shuffling papers, sending emails and questioning whether or not a Netflix binge would be considered progress, I went to bed frustrated.

Have you ever felt like you were facing that dilemma? You know the general direction you are moving, but you aren’t certain about the next move nor do you have any clarity about the timing of what’s next. That tension between progress (the way you want to move) and movement (making steps towards that end) can be paralyzing. And when you’re in that tension, it’s easy to watch mindless hours turn into days, and days soon become weeks and months, and before long you feel like the path you started on is more uncertain than ever.

After a restless night of sleep, I woke up and thought about my situation: What do you do, when you don’t know what to do? Do what you know to do.

What?

So you don’t know exactly what to do next? Start by doing the things you know to do–the actions that are always right no matter what the circumstances. Do the right things when you don’t know what to do, and use that as an opportunity to wait for the path to open up clearly before you.

Don’t know exactly what to do? Here are a few things to do to help you while you wait for clarity:

Be thankful: Paul says to be thankful in all circumstances, so use your down time to practice gratitude. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

Pray: In the same passage in 1 Thessalonians 5 where Paul tells us to be thankful, He also tells us to pray frequently. How frequently? Always. (1 Thessalonians 5:16)

Surrender worry to the Lord: Times of uncertainty can lead to massive bouts of worry and anxiety. Give those to the Lord. (Philippians 4:6-8, Mathew 6:25-34)

Serve others: When we feel a little lost or uncertain of our path, it can be easy to turn our focus inward. The best plan to get it back on the Lord? Follow our Lord’s advice and serve others! (John 13:12-15)

Be generous: Feel like things are snug during your uncertainty? Trust me, we know the feeling! To help keep your focus off of the scarcity that can develop, be generous with your resources and trust God even more for His provision and guidance. (2 Corinthians 9:6-8)

Read the book: No matter what else is happening, it is always right to spend time reading and memorizing God’s Word. (Psalm 119:9-11). As a side note, this past season I’ve been able to read through the Bible twice in the past year, and I’ve memorized huge sections of Scripture. Reading the Bible is always a good thing.

Love your spouse (family/friends): Again, the inward focus that can arise because of frustration and uncertainty can create relational problems if you aren’t intentional with your community. Create opportunities to intentionally love your spouse or love your children or your friends or your coworkers or the old lady that lives next door. By thinking of practical ways to love others, you are doing the right thing, and moving yourself forward even if it doesn’t feel like it.

There are many more of those good and right actions to take, but these seven should give you a good jump on things. It’s ok to feel stuck and uncertain, but even then, do what you know to do, until you know what to do next.

Go ahead and take plunge, life–even in uncertainty–is always better on the water!

Watch your mouth

Last August my family and I spent a week hanging with friends in Baltimore, and then took a few days to tour DC. We had a great time visiting our nation’s capital and touring so many great (and free!) museums. If you haven’t ever taken a vacation in DC, be sure to put it on the calendar for the family, it will be worth it!

Traci taking a quick selfie with AJ, Bethany and the Washington Monument.

One night we left our hotel to pick up some late-night snacks for everyone. We found a grocery store about a mile from where we were staying and shopped the aisles looking for each family member’s favorite treat. After everyone was satisfied with their choices, we headed to the check out and found the only register open at that hour.

While our items were being scanned, Celina looked up at the African American lady who was our checker, and without any kind of prompting said, “Wow, I love your hair!” The lady stopped, looked over at CJ and the biggest smile came across her face. She said, “Why thank you honey, you are so sweet!”

Celina had never seen hair extensions like the ones this lady was wearing, and she was enamored by them. The grocer asked Celina if she wanted to touch them to which CJ enthusiastically responded with a “Yes.” The lady talked to our daughter for several minutes about hair, beauty and how much her words meant to her that night. As we walked out of the grocery store, the lady and her fellow employee (a woman who bagged our groceries) were talking, smiling, laughing and had a totally different outlook on life.

All because a ten year old girl said, “Wow, I love your hair!”

Just as a careless word can destroy a person, a compliment is a powerful tool when wielded by expert lips. But like any professional in any trade, you become an expert by practicing with the tools of the trade. Are you practicing with your words? I love Paul’s admonition in Ephesians 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

My little girl showed me an incredible example of helpful speech that builds up others, so that even a second teller who was just “listening” to our conversation was encouraged by what she said. Such a little compliment changed the outcome of the night for two grocery store employees and who knows how far that one blessing traveled. I’m sure the one lady told her daughters at home, about the kind words of a little Mexican girl at her store, at 8:30pm that night. I feel certain the two tellers continued to talk about CJ after we left, it really had that much impact.

What are you doing with your words? Who is being blessed by your speech? Are you becoming a professional compliment giver and word encourager? Living the Overboard Life requires each of us to use our words according to God’s standards for speech, and the only way to get better is to practice daily. Who can you encourage and compliment today?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

"No Thru Traffic" and the shortness of life.

I try to walk three to four times a week, partly to keep active and healthy, and partly to keep strengthening my knee after this past summer’s surgery. When I don’t walk with Traci, I often spend my time memorizing verses, praying or just thinking through the challenges and opportunities we’re currently facing. It seems like several blogs have emerged as a result of my walks.

On my walk this morning I decided to take a detour through our local cemetery. I chuckled (darkly) as I entered thru the main gate due to the sign that read, “No Thru Traffic.” Indeed, the traffic headed to the cemetery is generally not headed out. And that’s when my stroll turned somber, as I snapped a few pictures, read a few names and tombstones and was reminded of the reality that life is short.

Each tombstone in the cemetery represents a life, a story of someone who lived on this earth and engaged others. With their last names listed boldly for others to see, I began to wonder what these people had been like during their living years. Jackson, Walter, Titus, Campbell, Winter Thornburg, Hansen, Olsen, Eherhardt, Sherwood, White, Kies, Brown...on and on the names emerged from gravesite after gravesite. Some were adorned with freshly cut flowers, others hadn’t been visited in years.

There is something very sobering about a cemetery and the certainty of death. Two years ago I wrote a series of blogs about being at the statistical half-way point of life. Now, as days turn into weeks, and as years roll by, the reality is that one day I too will be in a vehicle that will pass thru the iron gate baring the sign, “No Thru Traffic” and some other walker or jogger will pass by my tombstone and wonder what I was like, and be curious about the kind of life I had lived.

Living the Overboard Life isn’t about fame, fortune, prosperity or comfort. Instead, the Overboard Life is a commitment to follow the Lord, whenever He calls, into any situation He has prepared for us. It’s about living life out of the overflow of God’s abundance, touching the heart of others with the life changing message of a relationship with God and living according to the design with which He has created in everyone of us.

Thanks to Jesus, I don’t fear death, but I fear living a small life because I let fear, anxiety and hardship define me more than the truth of who God made me to be. I fear that one day someone will see my headstone, and if they explored my story they would discover a man who let the worries and stress of this life block out the big picture that “could have been” had he grabbed the hand of His creator and lived out Ephesians 3:20: “God can do anything you know, far more than you can ever imagine, guess or request in your wildest dreams!”

I left the cemetery today (thankfully!) oddly encouraged to keep pursuing the Overboard Life. Right now life seems hard but only when I lose sight of the one whom I follow. When I keep focused on Him, I can grab the sides of the boat, jump out on the water and live the remarkable life to which I have been called.

What about you? Are you going through the motions? Are you defining yourself by the past or letting fear and anxiety cripple your future? Find real freedom by focusing yourself on the one who calls you out of the boat, and out on the water where He is doing His Kingdom work. That life will leave an extraordinary mark behind a tombstone some jogger will find on a quiet fall day, on a detour through the cemetery.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!