5 dream killers #tbt

Have you ever sat back and wondered what happened to your dreams and goals? I've had some God-sized dreams over the years that just seemed to disappear -- they were so close at one point I could almost touch them, then something happened: I got derailed and the dream disappeared or seemed so unreachable that I quit.  

I was looking back over some content for today's #tbt blog, and I found this one, detailing 5 dream killers that those wishing to live the Overboard Life must be aware of. Have you found any of these in your life?

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(Originally appeared on January 11, 2012)

Gary Ryan Blair asked this question in his 100-day challenge program: "If your goals, dreams and hopes could speak, what would they say about you?" I took it a step further and thought about this question: “What would they say about how I operate and the passion with which I pursue them?”

What keeps me back from achieving the goals God has put on my heart?

I thought about this question for a little while and came up with five possible answers. Each of these is a personal reflection from my own life, especially thinking about those times I set out to do something, but failed to complete it. Maybe you can relate to a few of these. These are not necessarily listed in order of importance or significance, but the first one is definitely the top problem area for me.

1. Lack of decision: I can clearly see some big objectives in the past that didn’t get completed simply because I failed to set my course. I said, “I want to achieve [X]” but then did nothing to actually push myself that direction. It’s like saying, “I want to lose

   

   weight and get in shape” but then continuing to eat junk food all day and failing to start my membership at the local gym. (By the way, if you need help with food and tackling it from more than the perspective of ‘just another diet’, let me encourage you to get connected with my good friend Amber Thiel and her amazing program, The Healthy Edge!) Saying that I want to do something, and making the decision to start shaping my life towards that goal are two very different actions. The words are easy to say, but it’s another thing entirely to step out and start. I have had more than one venture in my life begin strong -- but unfortunately I’ve had many of them never get past the start. I think I have 5-7 unwritten books on my laptop alone, each of which got a great start, but none of which were finished because I never made a choice to go after them. Project Joseph was the first book I finished, and it too had 3-4 month stall period. This is a big one for me.

2. Fear: It’s not often that I’m afraid to try something, but if I’m being entirely honest and transparent, then I have to admit that fear has sidelined me more than once. Fear kept me from starting Overboard in early 2010. I was afraid the money wouldn’t come in (which it didn’t when we first started). I was afraid that people would think I was a cheeseball for starting my own “publishing company” (and many of them did). I was afraid that I wouldn’t pick up any other authors and that editors wouldn’t be too interested in helping out. All of these were legitimate concerns, but none of them were valid fears. Thankfully, because of how God used my amazing wife Traci and my dear friends Danny Ray and Kevin Flier, I was able to overcome those fears and step out of the boat. Still, fear has kept me out of the game from time-to-time. It’s good to note, too, that on occasion, the fear of success has put me out of commission. Fearing what people will do/think if I succeeded at something. Kinda of weird, but just being real.
3. Excuses: Excuses are the best. I can play the blame game as well as anyone, and when I make excuses, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Blaming the economy, the weather, the publishing industry, my editor, my graphic artist, my distributor, my printer, my kids, my tennis shoes with a hole in the bottom and my mail man for never bringing me "checks in the mail." The list could go on and on, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming everyone else for my problems, instead of owning what  I’ve done and who I am. When starting Overboard Publishing, one of my best excuses was, “But I don’t know anything about publishing a book...” It was true, but it was also easily remedied. Excuses make us feel safe. They become a huge wall that surrounds us so that no solutions can get in, and certainly no good ideas will get out. Excuses are warm and comfy and they long to sleep around us and keep us comfortable, but as my friend Andy Hartfield says, "Excuses are like armpits. Everyone has them and they stink!"
4. Lack of Discipline: Here is another zinger for me, personally. This would be number two on my list if I were listing them in order of impact. I can blame my ADD (there goes those excuses again!), but reality is that discipline, more-often-than-not, boils down to choices. Choices to do one activity over another. Choices to stay up later than I need to, thus making it harder to get up for my personal growth time in the morning. The longer I live, the more I realize how discipline doesn’t have to be a straight jacket. I always strayed away from discipline because it seemed to cut off the circulation of life. In reality, a healthy discipline allows us to enjoy life more deeply, while living it more eternally. When I’m rightly disciplined, I get more done, and enjoy more time with my family doing the things we love to do together. But discipline requires work and it requires diligence in the little things. Check out this blog on that topic.
5. Lack of Focus: Some would put this with lack of discipline, but I think it’s another topic entirely. In my world, discipline is about making right choices when options compete; focus is about intensity. I can make the right choice, but lack the intensity to maximize the benefit. For example, I could get up at 6:30am with the goal of writing. I could open up my lap top, open up Scrivener, and begin my writing for the day. However, if I have the curtains open in the front room, it’s easy for me to find a squirrel and get distracted from my task. I’m still somewhat disciplined (I got up on time and started writing), I’m just not maximizing my writing because I lack focus. This is another big one in my life.

Today I will review and assess my goals. I will see if there is some course correction that needs to take place as I long to keep the course on some big goals. I’ll let you know what I come up with, but I’m curious if any of you would add any other obstacles you face that I didn’t list here? Leave comments and help your fellow readers!

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Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

My first encounter with a scummy lawyer #tbt

Lawyers get a bad wrap. I am blessed that I have several friends who are, or have been, very good lawyers, and who have helped me shatter the lawyerly stereotype. However, a few years back I had an encounter with a guy who accelerated the stereotype. Greasy slicked back hair. Overpriced sports car in the "Lawyer Parking Only" parking spot. Overdone "power-outfit" for our meeting in the hallowed office library. And reeking of cigarette smoke and possibly a little alcohol from his lunch break.

We were being sued by him, as he represented a client bringing a charge against our youth group related to a fundraising event, and we all met before a mediator who would hear the case. At one point, I think he actually put his fancy leather shoes on the table, leaned back and asked a question that was obviously intended to "go for the jugular." I was thinking, "Bro, you've watched too many TV lawyer shows!" He even tried raising his voice to a shout while repeating, "Didn't you!?!? Didn't you?!?!" at one point in the questioning.

Thankfully, the mediator was seasoned and unimpressed, and we won our case. But if it hadn't been for my good friends who represented the legal profession well, I would have walked away thinking all lawyers were like that guy.

Thinking about this reminded me a blog I wrote a few years ago. So for today's #tbt blog post, I offer you some thoughts about the best lawyer I've ever met:

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A few months ago I had the unfortunate opportunity to be in court with one of our church members. This person was facing charges that continue to have a significant impact on their life. I was a silent observer and watched them, as well as all the other individuals there, appear before the judge. One by one each person took the stand and faced the charges that were before them. And in each and every case, the one on trial had an advocate that tried to get the best possible outcome for the court case.

On two occasions, there was a lawyer who was particularly zealous and I thought, that’s the kind of advocate I’d want if I were on trial. Some of the other lawyers seemed to just be going through motions, moving clients like cattle. In one case, the lawyer and the client had not even met until the moment the accused was called to the stand. The lawyer asked the judge for a few minutes reprieve while they discussed things with their client and three minutes later -- the case began!

When you bring up the topic of lawyers, people generally have pretty strong opinions. I’m reminded of the Robin Williams joke from the movie Hook (which by the way, is an all-time classic movie!): “Research scientists have started using lawyers instead of rats in their lab tests. Two things emerged: One, the scientists were less attached to the lawyers and; Two, there are some things even a rat won’t do”. [cue laugh track]  On the other hand, I have several good friends who are lawyers and who work their tails off to be accurate, honest, ethical and compassionate. They are very good at what they do; they are the guys I’d want defending me if I ever came under a court’s judgment.

I don’t really know [or care?] what you think about lawyers, but you need to know this: You have an advocate before God who has created access for you, so that you may enjoy the richness of a relationship with the Chief Judge. Just as I would want my friends Sean or Caleb or Warren to represent me before a human judge, trust me -- you want Jesus representing you before the Great Judge.

And here is one of the cool reasons why:

Since ancient times

no one has heard,

no ear has perceived,

no eye has seen any God besides you,

who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him

Isaiah 64:4

I love how Paul states this verse in 1 Corinthians 2:9:

No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

what God has prepared

for those who love Him

1 Corinthians 2:9

I love the thought that we have a God (not a god, but a God!) who has unheard of plans for His children. We serve a God who will act on our behalf if we will but trust Him. God’s plans for you are HUGE, but He waits for you trust, love and follow Him as He unfolds the unthinkable for your life. God is eager for each of His followers to leap out of the comfort that the boat provides them and to spend their lives walking on water -- living out lives that others will find irresistible.

Unfortunately, too many of us are best described by Donald Miller as, “unwilling victims rather than grateful participants” (A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, p.59). We live our lives reacting to everything around us in stead of proacting* on the greatness of being intentionally designed by a God who has unbelievable plans for our lives. We’re like a dog in a country song that gets repeatedly run over in a sad series of life-events. That’s not the life the Great Designer had in mind.

No eye has seen what God has in store for His children. No ear has ever heard the grand plans He has made. No mind can even fathom what greatness is in store for those who enter His court. Our Father, Designer and Judge asks only that we love and trust Him -- He will do the rest. Living the Overboard life requires utter and total dependance on God, but is a life worth living. Are you living in the comfort of the boat or are you out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom?

Go ahead and take the plunge -- life is better on the water!