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Overboard Blog

Living the extraordinary life of faith!

Heroin and public opinion

joeacast

Did you know there was a time that heroin was, not only legal, but considered a cure-all for almost any medical ailment? Seems crazy by what we know about heroin today, but it also serves as a reminder that public opinion can be a little misleading.

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I started a club!

joeacast

I hate waking up early. I have never been one of those guys who embraces the early morning hours of any given day.

Honestly, I have always been jealous of “those guys” who can get up 7 hours before the sun rises and have time to read their Bibles, pray, plan their weeks, solve world hunger, make breakfast for their wives and children and groom their pets. Of course, I hate having a breakfast meeting with them, as I show up 9 minutes late with my disheveled hair under a baseball cap and my super sexy morning voice while they have that fresh-from-the-salon look, already having accomplished more by 7:30am then I might accomplish all day.

Over the past few years, I’ve had good reason for not being a morning guy. How many youth pastors do you know that are morning guys? (In fact, I’ll say what few others are bold enough to say in such a public forum: never trust a youth pastor who is a morning guy!) Youth ministry often runs late, I’ve always worked well late at night, and my wife and I have, together, found evenings to be a good space for productivity.

However, in prep for 2016, I’ve been reading several books on pursuing God-sized dreams and goals, as well as material written about time and talent management. They all have the same advice when it comes to mornings: those who tackle the biggest goals and achieve the greatest success in their fields, almost universally, embrace the early hours of each day.

I’ve had moments in my life where I tried to make friends with the predawn hours, but I’ve never kept a lasting relationship with them. You know, it’s not them...it’s me.

2016 is different though, and the season of life we’re in, and the situation we find our marriage/family/ministry in, is unique; clearly God has given us an opportunity to chase something, full steam ahead! I don’t want to miss what’s in front of us, so I’ve committed myself to learning more -- both knowledge and skill -- and making the necessary personal changes to embrace this future.

So dreaded thoughts of dreaded thoughts, I’m learning to accept mornings as part of the pathway to watching God unveil His plans in our lives. There...I said it.

Of course, if you’ve ever tried something new, “hating it” doesn’t help you embrace it. If you want to change your diet, hating the option that will bring you the changes you want, is not the key to success. In fact, quite the opposite, it’s a formula for disaster. So what do you do when you hate the change you most need in your life?

You create a club. Because clubs are fun, right?

Phone alarmSo now, every night before I lay my 7 3/4” cranium down for sleep, I set the alarm to make sure I’m up in time for Club 555. That’s right, 555 is my new club and already it’s paying dividends. My productivity is up, beginning with more time each day in the Bible and in prayer. My focus on important tasks is more refined and I feel like the big picture items are becoming clearer.

Some of you are mocking me for getting up at 5:55 because you already do 3am. Cut me some slack, because embracing this is new to me! And embracing it as something that’s more than just a short-term fix is even harder. At four weeks in, I think it’s starting to stick, but being a club owner is no easy task. I’ll keep you posted a few weeks from now and let you know how things look at the end of another month.

As you pursue the Overboard Life, what change do you need to embrace? I’m not talking about making a change that becomes a strong habit, I’m talking about making a change that you embrace so that it becomes a strong habit you love. Maybe it’s time for you to start a club? Maybe it’s time for you to join me in my club? Can’t say I love the early morning hours yet, but I don’t hate them any more. At least I know I’m on the right path.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- including your club! -- is always better on the water.

Some anniversaries aren't fun to remember

joeacast

This past weekend we remembered an anniversary. It’s hard to say we “celebrated” because that certainly wasn’t the tone, but we definitely remembered. Some anniversaries are, after all, hard to enjoy. The moment in recall was the day I lost my job, January 16th, 2015, and the day our family began a year like none other we’ve experienced. In the 12 months since the afternoon I took my last walk from the office to my house, we’ve experienced the life of faith like never before. Traci and I have felt the love of friends and family like at no other time in our marriage, and we’ve felt some of the highest highs and lowest lows. It has been a wild journey.

The first seven months after that departure were filled with many couch-surfing adventures (with our family of five!), thousands and thousands of miles on the road (two trips to the West Coast and back) and many tearful nights and tension filled days. We had to make tough never-been-here-before decisions, and trust in God’s hand to take care of us. We made some great memories along the way, including the time we spent on road visiting friends and family.

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I remember vividly, the August 5th morning that we were returning from our six week, 11,000 mile road trip to the West Coast. We were still uncertain about the details of the future, but confident that God wanted us to stay in Michigan. We were driving in from a couple night’s rest in Galena, Illinois, and we literally didn’t know where we were going to stay that night (or any night thereafter!).

Some dear friends texted with my wife asking about our living situation, and they assured us that their home would always be available to us, and for the next two nights we would rest in their hospitality. As Traci and I fell asleep in their camper (not even joking when I tell you that it was the absolute best night of sleep I had experienced in months!), I became profoundly aware of how much God had taken care of us. How much He had provided for us along the way.

By that night in August, I had lost track of the number of different beds we had fallen asleep in (well over 30!), and the number of times financial gifts came in to bless us at “just the right moment” of need. Two trips to the West Coast had gone off without a hitch, literally, without a single problem from our 280,000-mile-old vehicle. Hundreds and hundreds of emails, FB messages and posts, texts and phone calls had come our way from people who just wanted to encourage us along the journey. Truly, in the midst of being homeless and jobless, I had never had a more profound sense of God’s work in my life.

So this weekend, on the one year anniversary of watching God change things up as only He can do, I remember, somberly, that His ways are not mine. I remember that He holds the future in His hands -- He already knows tomorrow better than I know yesterday! While I was experiencing (perceived) injustice, hurt, uncertainty and far more questions than answers, God already knew where the path was leading, and He was directing me -- the whole family! -- with the patience, grace and mercy of a loving father.

Ultimately, the goal of living the Overboard Life is that, through an active faith in God and His work in our lives, we are becoming more and more like His Son. That transformation is worth all the uncertainty, hardship and challenge that God directs our way and that this world throws at us. I am praying that 2016 is vastly different than the year we just put behind us, but even more, I am praying that the seeds of change God planted in our hearts and minds last January, take full root and began to blossom and produce fruit in this year.

When I think of the past year with that perspective, I have no choice but to celebrate this anniversary.

What about you? Do you have a painful anniversary that you need to see in a different light? It’s not easy, but it is freeing. After all, since becoming like Jesus is the goal, we must learn to embrace the process that gets us there.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- even your painful past -- is better on the water!

#marriagematters especially for your kids

joeacast

When I look back at wedding day pics of me and my bride, I’m stuck by the sheer lack of awareness that rests in our eyes! Our wedding day was pure joy, and we have nothing but great memories from December 28th, 1996. The process leading up to our wedding was crazy, tumultuous, fun, tense, joyful and even tearful, but our wedding day was beautiful. Wedding day pizza

19 years later and I can honestly say, we had no idea what this journey was going to be like. We’ve owned six cars, lived in 7 (I think?) houses in three states, I’ve had three jobs and we’ve enjoyed a fair amount of travel together. I’ve preached in several different countries, we have met amazing people and God has given us more than we ever imagined in terms of friendships and connections.

But more than any of that, on that beautiful snowy day in Salem on December 28th, 1996, we had no way of knowing just how much our three future children would change our lives. Nothing really prepares you for the title of parent, and I’m not sure if there is any aspect of life that is more rewarding and frustrating, more joyful and painful, more thrilling and excruciating than that of parenting. Traci and I wouldn’t trade our family for anything in the world, and truly, when we count our blessings, AJ, BJ and CJ are always at the top of the list.

So as I thought about this anniversary blog, I thought about how much influence our marriage has on our children. In fact, I think marriage is the single greatest influence on children, generally speaking, and here are 10 areas of life that your marriage is teaching your kids. In other words: your marriage matters to your children, more than we can ever quantify, so keep working at it!

  1. Giving our children a true understanding of love: Everyone craves love. I’m guessing that half of the Christmas movies we watched this year revolved around the message of love and that, in the end, love is more important than anything else. But the happily-ever-after movie love, is only a tiny glimpse of how God defines love. Yes, love involves emotions and feelings and the touchy-feely side of relationships that is so attractive on the outside. However, that part of love is fleeting, and I’m sure all of us have seen it come and go on our Facebook feeds with friends still searching for it! True love goes so much deeper, involving a commitment and choice that strengthens those other aspects of love. Traci and I are constantly reminding our children, through our marriage, that real love is an act of the will, not something you fall into and out of based on the day. Real love is a choice to keep growing, changing, learning, confessing, forgiving and embracing one another as imperfect children of God, not as the fairy tale movie character with perfect hair first thing in the morning.
  2. Helping them understand gender and roles: The gender crisis we are experiencing in our country today, I fully believe, is rooted in the marriage crisis we’ve been living with for decades. Godly marriages define and promote the beauty in God-designed gender differences and roles. The fact that men and women are different in creation, equal in value and designed to compliment each other in marriage is absolutely central in the gender discussion of our day. During the past 20 years of ministry discussions, with scores of people (from age 10 to 70) who have struggled with their gender roles and identity, I’m amazed that the vast majority of those conversations end up back at a marriage. Their marriage. Their parents’ marriage. Their in-laws’ marriage. Somewhere along the way, they saw in a marriage something that was out of balance. Usually it was a dad or mom that was abusive, controlling, hypocritically “religious” or absent. Somewhere along the journey, a broken or dysfunctional marriage was a major factor in this person’s struggle to embrace their own identity as a man or woman, and to accept the role(s) connected to that gender. Traci and I are teaching our kids the value of womanhood and manhood, teaching them how God designed those genders to work together and how beautiful His plan is in the right context.

    dating Traci

  3. Giving my son an example of what kind of woman he should seek: Our marriage is the first exposure to relationships that any of our children have had. I want AJ to see in Traci, the kind of woman that he should seek for his own marriage! As Traci and I work and our marriage together, he is seeing an example of a woman who sacrifices for her family, who lavishes grace on her children and husband, who takes joy in managing our home and crazy schedules, who excels in her business ventures and who loves her identity in Christ. AJ sees a woman who gives her all, and at the end of the day finds she still has more to give. He sees a wife and mom who loves her family, but prioritizes the relationship with husband even over her parenting tasks. Your marriage will be the standard by which your children will seek their own spouse, so give them a great target at which to shoot!
  4. Providing a model for my girls to choose their husbands carefully: Like AJ, our girls are seeing how I treat Traci, and that will have a significant impact on the type of man they will choose. I want them to see a man who honors his wife above all other human relationships (even the ones with my kids!) and one who lives with his wife, not over her. My girls are seeing a husband that embraces and celebrates his wife and her successes, who promotes her above any other woman, and I hope they are seeing a man who won’t allow another woman to captivate him the way his wife does.
  5. Teaching our kids generosity in all seasons of life: Your kids are learning about money from your marriage. A big issue for Traci and I is that we want our children to understand the true meaning of generosity in all stages and seasons of life. We want them to embrace abundant giving, even when the bank account has more pennies than dollars! How you manage money, how you talk about your finances and how you model your generosity will trickle down to your children in significant ways. Your marriage is teaching your children about life’s priorities, and where money fits on that list.
  6. Showing them how to handle disappointment, heartache, anger and loss: Your marriage is a front-row seat for your kids to view how you handle life’s setbacks. Over 19 years of marriage we have navigated loss, anger, heartache, pain and suffering and our three kids have seen the cycles of grief and the processes of growth play out in our lives and marriage. They’ve watched as we’ve struggled with each other, how we’ve handled internal conflict, as well as how we’ve handled pressure from outside our marriage. As we navigate life’s hard stuff together, our children are seeing our marriage commitment played out in “real life” and I pray this will influence their own marriage commitments.
  7. Demonstrating the importance of life with God: More than anything, I hope our children have seen that life with God is the best life imaginable. Our marriage has been a testing ground for us, and a viewing ground for our children, on whether or not we would hold the course God has set out for us. We’ve navigated great moments of praise and thanksgiving when everything came up like roses, and they’ve watched as we “ran the race” nicked up, injured and wondering where the path was headed. We pray that they will see us trusting the Lord in good times and bad, and that living life with God -- not near Him, not around Him, not close to Him only in crisis -- is the very best choice.

    19th anniversary

  8. Teaching them boundaries of children and marriage: Marriage matters, and as Traci and I try to navigate the challenges of life in today’s hectic family schedules, we work hard to let our kids know that our marriage is a top priority. We take date nights every week, we enjoy kidless get-a-ways several times a year and have “no-talking-to-mom-and-dad” moments in our house, when we sit and enjoy conversation at the table. Our children are the greatest thrill to us, but our marriage relationship is still a top priority. Our kids are seeing that children don’t drive the family, marriage does.
  9. Giving them a model of God’s love for us: In Ephesians 5, Paul explains one of the key purposes of marriage: it is a picture that is meant to represent the love God has for us through His Son, Jesus, and the love we are to show Him. “Husbands love your wives,” writes Paul, “as Christ loves the church.” “Wives submit to your husbands...as to the Lord...” A strong marriage, as imperfect as we are as humans, is meant to be home base for our kids in their relationship with God. I hope AJ, BJ and CJ can look to Traci, in all of her struggles and challenges, and because of how she lives in our marriage, know that they have a God who loves them perfectly and understand how they should respond to His love. Likewise, I hope they see in me what their Heavenly Father’s love is like -- despite my mistakes, sins and failures -- because of how I love my wife. That’s God’s plan for marriage!
  10. Giving them a good time around parents who love each other and their children: Our kids are learning that marriage is a joy, and that it’s fun to be together, living as a couple and moving towards the same goals and dreams together. Yes, marriage is hard work, but there is a deeper joy experienced by two imperfect people when they commit themselves to each other in following God’s design for marriage and family. We laugh a lot in our marriage -- and in our family! -- and our children see the way Traci and I love being together.

There are many more I could add to this list. When I think about my parents and the example they set for me and my siblings, I know this list isn’t all-inclusive. I also know that I certainly don’t live these out perfectly, but that’s part of the learning for my kids, too -- they are watching two imperfect people trust God with their lives while devoting themselves to each other. They are watching a mom and dad make mistakes, grow, then change while still moving forward, together, one day at a time.

Race pic

Frankly, that’s the beauty of reflecting on this for me and I hope for you, too. Mistakes are part of the learning process for everyone, and if you’ve made mistakes in your marriage -- or maybe you’re making a big one right now -- you can get back on track and show your children the right path, today. Kids will have to make their own decisions about marriage and relationships, but I promise you that Your marriage is the first place they’ll look to as a model of what’s possible and what’s worth pursuing. Working hard on your marriage is worth it for you, your spouse and for the marriages your children will have in the future.

What would you add to this list that your kids are learning from your marriage?

Go ahead and take the plunge, life -- especially your marriage! -- is always better on the water!

#marriagematters

Mistakes leaders make (9/10)

joeacast

Leaders who have the greatest success, have a great succession plan to ensure that their work continues long-past their tenure. So while a strong leader is fully engaged in the present direction of his organization, he is also keeping an eye on who it is that might replace him one day.

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When a season ends on your favorite show

joeacast

Over the years, Traci and I have found a few shows that we’ve really enjoyed. You know, the kind of programs that keep you coming back week after week to see what happens next. Or, in the case of Netflix, DVD or Amazon Prime, the kind of show you binge watch over the weekend. (Here’s a funny little skit from Portlandia about what happens when you get sucked into binge-watching a show.) What makes a show so appealing? For our tastes, a series we enjoy has good drama, strong character development, unexpected plot twists, surprise guest appearances, shocking revelations and unexpected deliverances. As I was thinking about the qualities of a good season of a TV show, I began to realize that those same attributes have contributed to our story this past “season.” Season One is coming to an end, and season two is about to begin.

Drama: We always tell our daughter Bethany that we want to avoid unnecessary drama. She, on the other hand, loves drama. In fact one night, not too long ago, she and I were talking about some drama at school and before I could say anything she said, “You know what dad...I really love drama with people!”

What BJ loves about drama is the meaningful interactions with others that are full of emotions, sometimes raw, sometimes boisterous, always expressed. She loves the intensity of the moment and God has wired her to experience life to the fullest. She grieves fully. She laughs whole-heartedly. She feels intensely. She expresses without hindrance.

Since January (even before), we have experienced a wide range of drama in our lives. We have wept together as a family. We have rested and experienced joy together. We have laughed, we have sang, we have prayed and we have grieved and through it all, we have felt the cycles of emotions. This season of life has had a lot of drama!

Character Development: Over the past 10 months, we have definitely found ourselves in the crucible of character development. I can say without hesitation that I’ve searched my heart more, probed my motives deeper and spent more time unpacking my heartache with others in the past 10 months, than I have in any other period of time in my life. There has been a lot of hurt, a lot of processing and a great deal of growth that has taken place and I know that more is still to come. Traci and I are not the same people we were on January 16th.

 

NCIS banner

 

Unexpected Plot Twists: The past season has been full of unexpected plot twists, too. On January 16th my job ended abruptly. On March 12th, we began a tour of houses, that included sleeping in over 30 different locations. When June 19th rolled around, Traci took off on a mission trip to Thailand to gain first-hand experience into human trafficking, and I -- and the three kids -- started of an 11,000 mile road trip. Traci eventually joined up with us, and the trip gave us opportunity to speak to dozens of people and families about Overboard Ministries.

When we returned to Michigan, we returned to unknown answers to big life questions: Where are we going to live? How will we make ends meet? Where will our children go to school? Literally, when we left Wisconsin on Saturday August 8th, we didn’t know where we were going to be spending the night when we arrived in Michigan. Yeah...there were some big plot twists.

Surprise Guest Appearances: In a recent blog, I called out a number of special guests who showed up big time in our first season of Overboard. The list is long and diverse, and yet God used each guest appearance to encourage us on the journey and keeping us moving forward in the Overboard Life.

We had friends provide food and shelter. We had friends give us special gifts and financial blessings. We saw God use others to put gas in the tank, provide back-to-school clothes and supplies, give our family unique memories, spoil us with special outings and lavish us with prayers and grace. The end-of-show credits for this season of our life will take hours to scroll by! The end-of-show credits just featuring our families would be hours long!

Shocking Revelations: When you experience a sudden U-turn in life, you see shocking revelations all around you. We experienced revelations in our lives (things we liked and things we didn’t!), as well as revelations in the lives of others. We saw things revealed in the the way others interacted with us, as well as a new understanding into the lives of others. I saw some ways I missed the heartache of some dear friends (because now I had a personal understanding of their previous experience) and we understood the harshness of others as we healed from open wounds.

Unexpected Deliverances: I was watching one of my favorite shows recently, while I was folding 3 tons of laundry. (yes, it was 6,000 lbs of laundry!) There was a moment I held a shirt in mid-air as I watched a suspenseful scene play out. The hero was a goner for sure, pinned down in a science lab with no way out. As he prepared to make his last stand while trying to save the one person he came to help, a last-second appearance by a friend allowed busted him out of his predicament and out to freedom.

I can’t tell you how many times God sent someone, at just the last second, to bust us out of a predicament and into His freedom. Like the time...Three days after I was released from my job, Traci and I were sitting at the table talking about upcoming bills. She was looking at the banking book, and I was contemplating a life as a crime boss in Lake Ann, Michigan. I asked her how much we needed and she replied, “$600.00 would take care of it.”

We sat there for about 10 more minutes when Traci said, “There’s someone in the driveway. It’s a car I don’t recognize.” Moments later, our friend John was knocking at the kitchen door. We had only known John for the 22 months we had lived in Michigan. I wouldn’t say we knew him super well, though we certainly considered him and his family friends. I had visited with him on several occasions, but this house visit was most unexpected.

John came in, gave me a big hug and expressed his condolences over my job loss. He then shared a story about a work God had put on his heart to do several months prior, but how the thing had kind of fizzled out. Perplexed, he stopped and waited for God’s leading. The day before he came to our house, he heard what happened to us, then he knew how to finish the task he started months before. So there he was on Monday, telling us this story. He concluded, and almost as quickly as he showed up, he prayed with us, shook my hand, and then left the house asking us not to share a word about this story.

When I opened my hands after he left, I pulled out -- you guessed it -- $600.00 in cash. The exact amount that Traci, just ten minutes earlier, had said we needed. This is one story in a hundred (or more!) that illustrates how dramatically some of our needs were met in the most unexpected ways. And don’t worry, I didn’t break my word with John. Since he unexpectedly left this life to join God in the next, I figured I’m free to share, yet another story, of how this man blessed the people around him.

In conclusion... The point of all this? In the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Donald Miller asserts that the qualities that make a movie great, are the same qualities that make a life great. In the same vein, the qualities that make a TV series worth watching week after week, are maybe the same qualities that make a life worth living. A good TV series changes pace, allows characters to develop, keeps you on your toes with new insights, provides lots of good drama and last minute rescues, and makes you smile (or cringe!) when special guests show up.

Don’t forget the most important ingredient of a great series at any season in life: make sure it all points back to God. I certainly wouldn’t boast that we’ve done that flawlessly during this season of our lives, but even when we’ve fallen off the trail or stumbled along the way, we’ve always tried to get back on track. It helps to have great co-stars on the journey with us, people who have repeatedly pointed back to Christ when we’ve lost our way.

So if you feel your life is like a dramatic, gut-wrenching TV series that gives you the sensation of riding on a roller coaster with all of its ups and downs, you might be precisely where you need to be in God’s plan! The drama, unexpected plot twists, surprise guest appearances complete with shocking revelations, unexpected deliverances and deep character development is part of God’s way of making you who He wants you to be, so that you are ready to do what He wants you to do!

And don’t forget to take a look around at others who might be participating in a great season of drama -- your guest appearance in their story might be the way God provides an unexpected deliverance for them!

Go ahead and take the plunge, your season will be better on the water.

One more Red Cup blog!

joeacast

My friend Jodie recently posted this on Facebook: “If anyone will design an app that will block red cup stories from showing up on my feed, I will be their first customer!” Bummer too, because I think she would have liked this Red Cup blog post. But I get where she’s coming from, after all, Red Cup reactions and blog posts are showing up like unwanted guests at the holidays. So here’s one more unwanted holiday guest for you to smile at, while trying to be gracious and not say anything regrettable. Good luck.

As far as I can tell, there really seems to just be one video that set this topic ablaze over the past week. Like much of what we react (or overreact) to, one person throws out an idea, a strong opinion or a few “facts” and people brazenly, and passionately take sides. Personally, I think we’re so fired up over the pre-election process that opinions and ideologies about everything are just stronger and closer to the surface than usual. And the thing we all love and hate about social media, is the speed at which ideas and news can spread, and this one has spread far and wide.

If you’ve been on a social media fast the past seven days, you’ve missed the fun. In summary: A man (pastor?) was upset that Starbucks removed “Merry Christmas” from their holiday coffee cups, replacing them with a plain red cup with the company’s logo. He challenged people, that when a barista asks their name (to write on the cup for their order) that people should respond with, “Merry Christmas” so that each Starbucks store will be shouting Merry Christmas multiple times a day.

The Red Cups that changed the world! Or, at least my Facebook feed for a couple of weeks.

I’ve seen hundreds (literally!) of responses to this. I’ve seen videos people posted of their “Merry Christmas” trickery in coffee shops around America, and I’ve seen the head-shaking of others who are stunned by this outrage. Some call it a war on the Christ of Christmas, and others wonder why a secular business is being harassed for not celebrating Christmas. One man posted, “boycott Starbucks for their hatred of Christians” and another man posted, “Just drink your coffee and shut up!”

This issue has brought to the surface a few thoughts I’ve had about the Overboard Life in the context of culture. Here are a few ways that I’m processing this event with principles that go way beyond whether or not Starbucks helps me celebrate Christmas.

  1. I’ve never heard anyone begin their Jesus story with, “I saw Merry Christmas written on my coffee cup and wondered, ‘who is this Jesus that came and died for me?’” Look, I’m not saying it couldn’t happen, I’m just saying that in 20 years of full-time Christian service, I have never once heard anyone start their testimony with those words (or anything close to it!). A few years ago Lowes Home Improvement was under the wrath of the Christian community for celebrating the holidays instead of Christmas, and ditto...I never once heard of a person coming to Christ because of seeing a “Christmas Tree” in a Lowes catalog, instead of a “Holiday Tree.” Let’s remember that keeping Christ in Christmas has nothing to do with how secular businesses advertise sales for our consumer-hungry culture, but has everything to do with how we show Him to others. Keeping Christ in Christmas should be more about how we treat and respect our baristas, and less about what words are written on our favorite coffee cups. Keeping Christ in Christmas should be more about how we choose not to indulge in pure consumerism, but rather, how we choose to give generously to others and celebrate the greatest gift in history -- God sending His only Son that He might become the ultimate payment for our sins.
  2. Merry Christmas doesn’t change hearts even if it makes yours merrier. I love a hearty “Merry Christmas” as much as the next guy. Believe me, I’m not a “Happy Holidays” kind of person, because to me, what makes the holidays happy is that there is significant meaning to them -- life-changing meaning to those who have met the Savior we celebrate. Sometimes I think we fall prey to the idea that if everything said “Merry Christmas” on it, life would be significantly better. But Merry Christmas has never changed a life, any more than moral laws and regulations can change lives. I know in American culture it’s easy to look back at the good ol’ days of a country that reflected traditional Christian values, but those morals didn’t change hearts! Just because a culture embraces a Christian ethic doesn’t mean the citizens are more Christian. In fact, I firmly believe it’s easier to hide in that kind of culture, to go along with the moral crowd while harboring nothing that resembles life-giving faith and belief in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.
  3. In some ways, I think a non Merry Christmas culture gives a chance to truly stand out. For so long it’s actually been relatively cool to be Christian, or at least, to represent convenient Christian values. Almost every politician, including our most recent president and presidential candidates, have tried to cater, at some level, to mainstream Christianity. That’s changing and I think it’s good for those truly living the life of faith, truly living the Overboard Life. The opportunity in America to stand out because of a different life-style, one governed by an unchanging truth and centered on an undead Savior, is greater than ever before. The previous generation stood strong against much of the cultural shifts (and in many cases, for good reason), but today, we have a chance to be for the truth that sets people free. That movement for something will entrench us clearly against a culture where we are no longer the “moral majority,” without us having to utter a single word of opposition. By being for strengthening traditional marriage, ending the plight of the starving orphan and rescuing people from the darkness of pornography and sex-trafficking, the culture will know we stand with Scripture on the issues of homosexuality, poverty, slavery, and sexual values. Our “for” values will strongly imply our “against” values without having to speak a word of opposition; we will stand out in this culture that believes it's normal to discard fetuses, marriages and God-designed sexuality and considers it strange that we don't!
  4. The Gospel must be central or our Merry Christmas is meaningless. I’m afraid that a lot of church-goers who are fiery hot about this Merry Christmas issue, reflect little of the Gospel in other parts of their lives. By hash-tagging Merry Christmas they try to make a statement with a tweet or post, or with strong words of “I’m taking my business elsewhere” in an online comment on a company’s Facebook page. Yet after they trick a barista in to saying, “Merry Christmas” they pull out of the parking lot and scream at a driver who cuts them off in traffic or they overspend on life’s luxuries and have nothing left with which to help the widows and orphans in their community or around the world. They view pornography on the privacy of their phones, they raise busy kids who have little time for the Lord, they cut corners at work, lie to their spouses, drown life’s troubles in consumption or they move from relationship to relationship, marriage to marriage, in an attempt to escape life’s emptiness. I don’t care about your Merry Christmas if it’s void of the Gospel, and you shouldn’t care about mine if my life doesn’t reflect the eternal change provided by the Jesus of this holiday. The Gospel must be central in our lives, influencing us everywhere: in our interactions at coffee shops, in the car when we’re in traffic, at home when we’re alone, in our families, in our singleness, in our politics, in our churches, in our communities, in our blog posts, in our study of the Word, in our work to bring justice and water and food to the oppressed, and in living out the truth of a life changed by Christ.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for Merry Christmas, and I’m for moral laws and for promoting a strong Christian ethic in our homes, churches, schools, sports teams, communities and country. History has shown us, however,  that those things don’t change hearts. But if we win the war for the hearts of the lost, we will gain these other matters, too! Russell Moore writes, “The heated and outraged rhetoric of evangelicals in the political and media spheres is often directly related to the ineffectuality of Christian distinctiveness in our living rooms and pews.” In other words, we’re not bringing the Gospel into our homes and churches, so why would we expect the culture around us to embrace the Christ of Christmas?

“Merry Christmas” will not be influencing my holiday joy this year, because the Gospel has already won the day. May your Christmas be fixed on Him, too, so that even your Red Cup barista knows you belong to Jesus.

Go ahead and take the plunge, even your Christmas is better on the water!

The view from 950'

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chicago-from-950.jpg

I have always loved roller coasters. There is something thrilling about that initial climb to several hundred feet above the ground, followed by the screaming terror of zipping around the track at insane speeds trying to keep your lunch down. It’s an awesome experience and one that I’ve always enjoyed. The first time I rode a real roller coaster I was in high school. My friend Paul and I had made the 12-hour trek from Salem to L.A. in order to hit one of the great ride parks in our country, Six Flags over Magic Mountain. After one run on The Demon, I was hooked! The adrenaline, the heart-pounding loops and corkscrews, the sudden stop at the end and the awesome feeling of near-flight had me coming back again and again!

There’s something cool about getting to the top of each coaster, when you get a grand view of the park. From the top of a coaster, you can see all the other rides, you can see the long lines people are standing in and you can see the people beneath you who are eager to hear you scream. Being on top of the coaster gives you a view of the whole park that is unmatched!

A while back, my wife and I spent the day in Chicago. Now that we live in a town that’s about the same size as the neighborhood we moved out of when we left Salem, I especially enjoy the trips we get to make to the big city. Traverse City is a nice, quaint little town, but sometimes I just need to be around buildings taller than five stories!

Life from the ground floor.

Over the past year, I’ve spent a bit more time in Chicago than my wife, but I’m still getting to know the lay of the land. So when my pastor told me we could grab a reasonably priced lunch on the 95th floor of the John Hancock Center, I totally jumped at the chance. And sure enough, for right around $15 we enjoyed a delicious lunch with an amazing view!

It was funny being on top of all the buildings we had just been driving around minutes before. From the ground, all the nearby sky scrapers stand so tall, and it’s crazy to not be able to see a 30-story building because it’s sitting behind a 40-story building! Or sometimes, when we were on the ground we tried to get our bearings by looking for one of the recognizable sky scrapers, but even then, the Trump Tower (1,362 feet), the Willis Tower (aka: Sears Tower, 1,451 feet) and the John Hancock Center (1,127 feet) can be blocked out by buildings 1/3 as tall.

Chicago from 950

When we finally arrived at the lunch lounge on the 95th floor of the John Hancock Center, we had such a view of the previously confusing and somewhat daunting landscape. From 950’ above the ground, we had a much better perspective. We could see the roads we had just driven on, we could see the park we had been taking pictures at earlier in the day and we could even see the construction that caused somer serious travel confusion a few minutes earlier. A change of perspective, changed everything.

So often you and I are living at ground level, and everything can seem big and confusing. We’re trying to turn right, but a one-way street prevents a turn. We try to move through traffic, but a construction project or a recent accident sends us on a wild detour. We’re trying to catch some sun or a gentle breeze, but a giant building blocks the heat or prevents the breeze from reaching our location. We try to see what’s ahead, but all the nearby buildings make any kind of view, impossible. From the ground, life can be very challenging.

That’s when we need a perspective change.

In Jeremiah God says to the people of Israel, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Israel was in the middle of some pretty severe punishment because of the way they had turned their backs on God. For Jeremiah and the few others that were trying to follow God, the view was bleak. Other nations were taking advantage of the Jews, the Israelites were under heavy tax burdens and their children were being taken into slavery. From the ground, everything seemed hopeless.

But God doesn’t live on the ground! From God’s perspective, He had plans for Israel and Jeremiah just needed to be reminded that God was working out a different outcome for His children. God’s plans were almost impossible to see from inside the walls of Jerusalem; but they were impossible to miss from the Throne Room of Heaven.

The Overboard Life demands a 950’ perspective -- one we don’t always have! So how do we get it? We get our perspective by trusting the One who already has it. Our perspective comes from faith, not from trying to figure it all out by ourselves.

When Peter climbed out of the boat in Matthew 14, he was only seeing the wind and the waves, the boat and the other disciples. Jesus, however, was seeing all of that, plus He was seeing Peter as the leader of the church in Acts, He was seeing Peter be the first Apostle to take the Gospel to the Gentiles and He was seeing Peter lead this ragamuffin group of disciples after Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection. He had a 950’ perspective. So when Peter lost his faith and started sinking, Jesus rescued Him and said, “Why did you doubt?” He wasn’t just talking about the water, He was giving Peter a lesson for the future, too.

In the middle of the storm, you and I don’t have a very good perspective, so we must trust the One who sees it all. It seems that God rarely lets us have the full 950’ view ourselves, but He asks us to follow His lead, and we can be certain He knows where He is going, and where He is taking us. Experiencing hardships with a child? Walking through unexpected job changes? Are you enduring a painful health condition? Have you experienced some deep loss, a tough move or a broken relationship? Maybe it feels like you’re going through all of the above at once?

It’s in those moments you can trust God’s hand, because you know He sees it all. He already knows how He plans to use this in your life. He already knows the character that’s forming in you so you will be more of who He wants you to be, so you can do more of what He wants you to do. God always has the 950’ view, and when you learn to trust Him when you need that view most, you’ll be well on your way to living the Overboard Life!

Go ahead and take the plunge, your perspective is always better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make (8/10)

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I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. Looking for missed posts, click here: Mistake #1Mistake #2Mistake #3Mistake #4Mistake #5Mistake #6, Mistake #7).

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Mistake #8: Missing the clues of corporate culture

Hans defines corporate culture as “the way insiders behave based on the values and group traditions they hold.” In other words, the changes (some subtle, some not-so-much) you and your spouse, or you and your roommate, made in order to live in the same house without wanting to beat each other senseless...is learning to live within a corporate culture.

Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel is available from Amazon and other fine retailers.

As you look around at your life, you are probably part of several cultures, many without you even being aware! Sports team parent? Definitely a soccer mom culture! Married? Definitely bringing two family cultures together into one (and creating a third culture in your own family!). Are you employed? Then you know there is a culture at your office! Do you attend church? Then you definitely know about organizational culture! Every town, every state, every region has a culture and we learn to live and work and build relationships based on what those cultures value.

Finzel points out that culture is at the heart of success for a business (and I would say for a relationship, family or ministry!) and that top performing companies have “strong cultures [that] support the mission, goals, and strategy of the organization.” For believers, our culture should promote excellence in every aspect of our lives, living out 1 Corinthians 10:31 and Colossians 3:17. Those verses remind us to do everything to the glory of God, even mundane every-day-tasks like eating, drinking and speaking should be done with our very best effort!

When it comes to leading people, a good leader seeks to learn the culture of his environment, and then operates and strengthens the organization from within that culture. When cultural shifts need to be made, a good leader has done her homework to understand the existing culture, and makes careful, calculated moves before instituting changes.

The culture of your family or ministry or business, can be discovered by exploring the non-negotiable beliefs that drive it. Everyone has preferences that come and go, sometimes connected to a particular person, sometimes a particular trend or the latest book, but those preferences won’t help your organization sink or swim. The values under those preferences, the do-or-die beliefs that drive the organization, those are the items that define your culture.

Some churches value, not changing. Whether it’s expressed or not, the leaders of this particular type of church are always suspicious of change, and typically like the “old way” of doing things. Some businesses value quality over quantity, and others mass-produce parts and value production numbers over anything else. Some families value a tight-knit unit with very little outside influence, others open the house doors wide for anyone or anything to enter! Some dads value their work over their families. Some moms put their children first, even above their spouse. All of these beliefs represent the underlying culture of a particular group of people.

A good leader seeks to understand that decisions her organization is making, come from these underlying core beliefs. Finzel (quoting Joules and Posner) writes, “Leaders who understand their own value, and can articulate them well to their organization, have proven to show superior performance in their roles.” Here are six benefits to leaders who learn to embrace an organization’s culture:

  1. Strong feelings of personal effectiveness
  2. Promotes high levels of company loyalty
  3. Facilitates consensus about key organizational goals
  4. Encourages ethical behavior
  5. Reduces levels of job stress
  6. Promotes strong norms about caring and working hard

(From the book: The Leadership Challenge)

When leaders don’t learn their organization’s culture, they create conformers (just do what you must to survive), complainers (completes work without enjoying it, and impacts other employees with negativity), Innovators (let’s change things!), ritualists (going through the motions), retreatists (running away from every situation) and rebels (angry non-conformists).

Good leaders spend time learning the culture, embracing the culture that promotes the vision and goals of the organization and carefully changing the parts of culture that need adjustment. If you’re leading an organization and running into constant conflict, check out chapter eight of Hans’ book for some great tips about understanding the culture.

Go ahead and take the plunge, your leadership will be better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make (9/10)

Why it can be good to wait

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Waiting can be so hard. Waiting can feel like lost time, lost opportunity and for some, can even feel unspiritual! People from the outside can view your waiting as laziness, and people closest to you can sometimes mistake your waiting as fear or anxiety. Sometimes, however, waiting can be very good. I’ve been thinking a lot about waiting, lately. It seems like God has us in a waiting game, hanging out to see what He reveals for us next. Without question, I get a little frustrated while I’m waiting, but I am learning to trust that waiting is, itself, part of God’s process for our lives.

This morning, as I was driving in to work, I came up on this intersection on a backroad near the church where I’m serving as interim youth pastor. In the past month of taking this road, I have never seen another car at this intersection that features stop signs for east and westbound traffic, but not for north or southbound vehicles.

I was driving northbound (no stop sign) preparing to turn left. There was a car stopped on my right (preparing to turn south) and a vehicle driving southbound (coming towards me) down a hill, moving at a good clip. I turned on my blinker and waited just outside the intersection so that the southbound car could pass me, then I could make my left hand turn toward the office.

However, the gentleman to my right, did not see the vehicle coming down the hill from his right, and you could tell he was visibly confused and frustrated by the fact that I was not making my left-hand turn (he may have assumed I thought I was at a 4-way stop). He began edging out into the intersection, as though he was going to turn left in front of me, as he remained totally unaware of the vehicle cruising down the hill towards us both.

As he was about to make his move, I edged further into the intersection to “block” his path, when the car driving south flew through the intersection (probably doing 55-60) and startled him completely. At that point, I think he realized that had he darted around me, there would have been a three car collision and he would have been responsible for damages, injuries or maybe even someone’s death.

Waiting was a good thing.

I think this sign is pretty self-exaplanatory.

For me, I think I’ve too often confused waiting with stalling, or waiting with doing nothing, when in fact, waiting should be a very active process. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned while waiting:

  1. Rest while you wait. I remember when Traci and I were waiting for AJ to be born. Traci’s water broke at 1:30am, and by 10:30am progress was slow and painful. The doctor gave her an epidural and then we were waiting (AJ wasn’t born for another six hours!). While we waited, I remember the doctor telling Traci, “Rest while you can. When it’s time, you will need all your strength and energy to birth your child.” With the help of the pain meds, Traci slept for over an hour, and then she rested and napped, in and out, for the better part of a second hour. Later, when it was go time, she was ready. Use your waiting time as opportunity to rest.
  2. Focus on habits while you wait. Waiting can be an excuse for laziness or wandering around like a lost man, but it should be an active season of preparing for whatever is next. Waiting is the perfect time to refine the habits we need when the waiting period is over.
  3. Grow while you wait. Not only can we firm up our important daily habits, but waiting is also a time to pursue personal growth through education, reading, traveling or through being mentored or coached. Don’t waste your waiting time by constantly checking the front window to see if your new opportunity has arrived. Use the extra time in your schedule to learn a language, develop a new skill or deepen your knowledge/expertise in an area in which you are already strong. Let waiting time grow you!
  4. Confirm/reestablish priorities while you wait. Often, in the grind of day-to-day living, we can lose sight of our most important priorities. We can allow bad habits that distract us from what’s most important (God, marriage, family, ministry to others etc...) and find we are too disproportionately focused on lesser things (money, bills, job etc...). During seasons of waiting, it’s good to confirm or realign your priorities, so that when the waiting is over, you are engaged in the things that matter mostt.
  5. Review your dreams while you wait. You know those goals, dreams and lofty plans that have been sitting on the shelf for a little while? Waiting periods are great opportunities to pull them done, dust them off, and get them worked back into your plans. It’s easy to have big dreams that fall casualty to the ebb and flow of life, and when God slows things down during a time of waiting, use those moments to reflect on the dreams that used to drive you!

Waiting is rarely a fun or easy experience to navigate. However, as I’ve learned, the waiting process can be super productive in preparing you for what is on the other side of the wait. You may even find out that God was protecting you from a massive collision (like the driver in my car story), one that could have permanently derailed you and your work for the Lord.

I’m learning to wait, better, because sometimes, waiting can be very good!

Go ahead and take the plunge, even waiting is better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make (6/10)

joeacast

I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. Looking for missed posts, click here: Mistake #1, Mistake #2, Mistake #3, Mistake #4, Mistake #5)

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Mistake #6: Dirty Delegation

I’m convinced that there are few more defeating mistakes made by leaders, than the mistake of dirty delegation. A top-down leader can dominate followers into frustration. A paperwork leader elevates task over people. A non-affirming leader has followers that aren’t sure if they are valued. A leader who rejects Mavericks has a team that is constantly stuck. A dictator robs his team or family of their creative freedom. And a dirty delegator creates a defeated, broken-spirited, culture.

What is dirty delegation? It’s the not-so-fine art of giving projects to personnel, only to add someone to the team, or invite someone else to do the same project, without communicating your intent. It’s asking a team member to work on a project, then outsourcing it to someone else or bringing in outside eyes to evaluate without communicating your actions. Top-down leaders and dictators can easily fall into the trap of dirty delegation...along with anyone else who has ever led a team.

Why? Because delegation is hard for many leaders! Maybe you relate to one of these fears about delegation?

Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel is available from Amazon and other fine retailers.

  1. Fear of losing authority
  2. Concern for the quality of work (no one can do it as well as you, right?)
  3. Fear of work being done better (uh-oh...someone else might do your job better than you!)
  4. Unwillingness to take the time
  5. Too disorganize to even give necessary details about the area needing delegation
  6. Lack of leadership training or other positive delegation experiences
  7. Fear of losing value within the organization

Theodore Roosevelt said, “The best executive is the one who has the sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” Dirty delegators usually push the good men and women away from their group because they lack the self-restraint to allow them to produce. Good leaders recognize the delegation allows for personal ownership and investment, and this is crucial for: happiness in the home or workplace; inspiration for creative new ideas; freedom for personal expression and the opportunity to learn from mistakes.

Kaleo Korner (By Justin VanRheene, founder of Kaleo Media)

I’ve had jobs and have watched friends be employed in places that have managers that succumb to the fears above. Its very frustrating. Here are a few ways I’ve seen help bringing clarity, and empowering productivity.

Start with why. One principle I start with on all new clients is, start with why? Having a clear understanding of the big idea will help bring freedom to employees as you begin going after the four parts of delegation that Finzel states: assignment, authority, accountability, and affirmation.

“Because I said so?” As a parent, coach, teacher, etc. I’m sure you’ve said, or wanted to say, when questioned about a project, assignment, or task, “Because I said so!” Being in a position of authority, that seems like a great thing to say because you’re the boss. There is an older volunteer I work with at my church, who said one time, “Has that ever worked?” I’m not sure it has but I’m in my 30s and I heard it when I was a kid.

But so many of the things we’ll be involved in as a leader demand more than a “because I said so.” They require vision. And believe it or not, those who struggle with dirty delegation, don’t have a vision for their organization. In many situations, their identity is their organization and to leave their reputation in the hands of someone else is just not possible.

If anyone had the right to over-manage, it was Jesus. If anyone was confident he could do a job better, it was Jesus! And yet, as His ministry progressed, He began to release more and more opportunities for His disciples! On one occasion in the Gospel, he sent out 72 disciples to spread the Good News all over Israel, and He gave them power and authority to do miracles, to heal sick people, to cast out demonic spirits and to put a blessing (or curse!) on the towns they entered (Luke 10:1-24). Jesus delegate real opportunity, real authority and gave his followers a chance to experience the joy of ministry (10:17, 10:21).

Han says there are four parts to real delegation: Assignment, authority, accountability and affirmation. These four parts answer the main questions most followers have. What am I supposed to do? An assignment answers the question that is tops on most children, team mates, employees, managers or coaches, the question about activity. What is my job?

Once they know the “what”, they want to know if they will have the freedom and authority to execute that task: Will you let me do it? If you assign the brand redesign to an employee, but don’t provide the time or financial resources to accomplish the task, they will fail. Do they have the authority to do the task? The next question is, Will you help me when I need it? It’s the question of accountability and follow up: will you help them through the process and check on their progress along the way?

Finally, the fourth question employees ask is, Will you let me know how I’m doing? Every follower wants to know that their work is valuable, helpful and contributing to the overall goal! Does the word affirmation mean anything to you (Mistake #3)??

Of course, every follower has a different capacity for delegation. Not all followers can handle, or even desire, stand alone work. Some players are just more efficient, effective and happy when working under closer supervision. Others want a long leash and only occasional check-ins. Learning how each of your team members works is crucial, and honestly, it’s why many leaders don’t delegate. The work of learning who your team members operate, is sometimes harder than the work of releasing the labor!

I love the list Finzel ends the chapter with, giving 9 guidelines for clean delegation:

  1. Choose qualified people
  2. Exhibit confidence in your team
  3. Clarify duties
  4. Delegate proper authority for the work
  5. Avoid telling them how to do the work you’ve just given them
  6. Set up accountability points throughout the project
  7. Supervise according to their work style
  8. Give room for mistakes
  9. Give praise and credit for work well done

Delegation can be challenging, but if you want to multiply your effectiveness and influence, it’s a skill worth mastering.

So go ahead and take the plunge, your leadership will be better on the water!

Joe Castaneda

Mistakes leaders make, 7/10

Special thanks to Justin VanRheenen, friend and founder of Kaleo Media. If you want to increase your online presence, or improve your social media content and skills, contact Justin and learn from him!

A sappy birthday blog for my wife

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Today, my beloved wife turns 43 years old. We have celebrated 19 of those years married, and 8 before that while we were dating. So 27 times I’ve Happy Birthdayed her, as a boyfriend, fiancé or husband. 43 isn’t one of those “milestone” birthdays, so it seems easy to sweep 43 under the carpet. I decided to make it a bigger deal by celebrating her birthday all week, and by writing this post to give you 43 reasons why I’m still crazy in love with my wife. Prepare to gag over the mushiness of this. Feel free to steal any of these words that you can use (however, do change the name “Traci” to the appropriate name in your situation) in your own relationships and of course, remember to bless the people in your life that have such meaning to you!

  1. She experiences pure joy in Jesus. Traci knows her center for life is not me, not the kids and not her work...it’s in her relationship with Christ. And she always goes back to that place in the craziness of life.
  2. She is fiercely loyal. Loyalty and commitment are deeply ingrained in Traci, and as a friend, lover, business owner and mom, she is loyal with those to whom she connects deeply.
  3. She is full of laughter. My wife laughs a lot, and she brings a lot of laughter into our lives.
  4. Traci and I love exploring local landmarks and tourist areas...in the offseason. This is a fun spot in downtown TC, during the fall we had the pier to ourselves!

    She is a tad crazy. Traci has this fun and spontaneous side to her, and it creates great moments in our lives.

  5. She understands our daughters. Cute little girls grow up to be teenage daughters who have complicated emotional lives, that complicate significantly around age 12. Traci gets it. (hallelujah...standing ovation...cheers...applaud...relief!)
  6. She understands our son. Not only does she mom our daughters, but she has an amazing relationship with our son, too. He turns to her for advice and inspiration, and I know she’s modeled for him the type of wife he should look for some day.
  7. She is athletic. One of the first qualities that attracted me to Traci back in high school, was her ability to participate in youth group games and be better than about 1/2 the boys.
  8. She inspires others: Many of you reading this blog have been inspired by Traci and her writings, by her honest struggles with life, and by her victories. People look to her as someone to imitate.
  9. She inspires me: I’ve lived with her for almost 19 years and she still, regularly, pushes me to new heights and into new challenges.
  10. She is full of tears: I love that my wife is free with her emotions, and ok to cry with her own pain, share tears as she feels the pain and hurt of others and as she expresses worship and praise to God.
  11. She is stunningly hot: When I think back to that first glance at her, in the late 80’s, with big hair and 90’s bangs, I remember how stunned I was by her looks. 27 years later, I’m more dazzled than ever, as I’ve come to understand that her outer hotness is matched only by her inner beauty. Inside and out, she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.
  12. While we’re talking about hot, let’s just assume that numbers 12-15 would not be appropriate to share publicly. So wink-wink, nod-nod, snicker-snicker...she is the inspiration behind one of my more popular blogs, “5 ways to improve your sex life.” (go ahead and click the link...no judgment here!)
  13. PG-13
  14. PG-13
  15. R
  16. She works hard. You could never use the word “lazy” to describe my wife. Ever.
  17. She dreams BIG! Our life and family dreams are significantly broader and deeper than they would be if it was just me dreaming them! Traci sees the greatness of God and believes deeply in HIS ability to lead His children into great things.
  18. She rarely holds anything back. My wife will step into uncomfortable situations, and is willing to give it her all, regardless of the cost or the outcome.
  19. She is unwilling to not grow. My wife is always reaching out for growth, always learning from God’s Word and is eager to become more of who God made her to be. She never stops growing and learning.

    A fun little weekend date in Chicago last Spring.

  20. She knows how to rest. I love that my wife knows how to work hard, and I love that she knows how to rest and take care of herself.
  21. She loves vacation. Traci takes a B+ vacation and makes it an A+. She takes a C- vacation...and makes it an A+. She loves taking our family time and making it better. And she’s very, very, good at it.
  22. She loves being surprised. My wife loves being surprised by others. I pity my friends who have a spouse that HATES surprises, and actually, if they feel surprised by a weekend away, a special gift etc... are usually more upset (at least initially) than happy at the gift. I love surprising Traci with little and big things -- it doesn’t matter! -- because she loves being surprised and makes them extra special.
  23. She cooks. If you and I are ever trapped in a building, and our survival depends on my culinary skills, we are both going to die of hunger. I’m grateful for my wife’s skills in the kitchen.
  24. She manages our family well. Traci is the family organizer. She keeps us running smoothly, she manages appointments, she keeps a great calendar and even in the last season of life where we were homeless and out of schedule/routine, she managed us with excellence.
  25. She has an unshakeable faith. No matter how dire things can get, Traci believes in the hand of God and in His ability to bring change to any situation.
  26. She runs hard. Last October we ran our first 1/2 marathon, together. It was a metaphor for our lives then (and now), and one of my take aways was seeing the relentless nature of my wife emerge. She runs hard and she refuses to give up. I love her tenacity toward goals and dreams.
  27. She listens well. I love that my wife listens. Not passively, but she actively listens to people. She cares about her relationships and she listens without the need to interrupt, offer unsolicited advice or cast judgment without knowledge.
  28. She is wise. My wife will frequently tell me, “I wish I knew what to say when...” Truth is, she does know what to say, and knows when to say it. She knows how to process life experiences and how to give wise advice, not just what-you-want-to-hear isms.
  29. She thinks I’m funny. Seriously, she still laughs at my jokes. She still smiles when someone in our house says “wrap” and I start rapping like MC Hammer.
  30. She can, on occasion, be a tad clumsy. It’s a cute clumsy and it’s hilarious when it shows up.
  31. 13.1 miles is a very LOOOOOOOOOOONG distance to run. But we did it!

    She can laugh at herself. #30 has led to a number of tear-enducing moments in our marriage..the laughter kind of tears.

  32. She enjoys a simple life: My wife has a simplicity about the way she lives, and I absolutely love it.
  33. She is a great communicator. Traci connects with people when she speaks in a public platform. It’s not just that what she says is good (which it is!), it’s that she says it in such a way that people connect with her and her message. She makes friends in her public ministry, just because people feel like they know her after she’s done sharing. When we teach together, I always marvel at the number of people who walk away feeling like Traci is their friend because of how she communicates.
  34. She looks great in anything she wears: I love that she looks great in sweat pants and a baggy sweatshirt, as well as in her little black dress or business casual outfit. She can wear jogging shorts that always make me do a double take, or she can go full tilt for a night at the Magic Castle and wow me when she walks into the room.
  35. She’s not afraid of trouble. Life is full of trouble and hardship. Traci doesn’t run from any of them and she isn’t afraid to face down whatever is right in front of us.
  36. She knows me, and still loves me. No human knows me better than my wife, and even with that full knowledge, she loves me fully and blesses me beyond reason.
  37. She sees things from a different angle. We can read the same Bible story, we can look at the same picture, and Traci sees things that I miss. Ok, I miss a lot, so that may not be that impressive, but she sees things that almost everyone misses. She has a great perspective on life.
  38. She is my biggest fan. It doesn’t matter what I’m throwing myself into, my wife believes that I will find success. No matter what the odds, no matter how many frustrating walls I’ve smacked my head against, she believes that I will find a breakthrough.

    I think my wife is better equipped for surviving life in prison...

  39. She is passionate. While this certainly would include things back up in 12-15, it also includes life outside the bedroom. Traci is passionate about what she does, who our kids are and how God is working in and through our family. She approaches life, the highs and lows, with passion. Her passion is contagious.
  40. She is humble. I’ve learned a lot from Traci’s humility in life. Her humility magnifies her beauty.
  41. She is talented. She’s a great public speaker. She’s a talented pianist. She’s a great cook. She’s an excellent athletic, life and business coach. I could go on, just know that she’s incredibly talented.
  42. She promotes our kids. Traci promotes our kids, challenges them to grow, knows when to push and knows when to pull them in close. She is an amazing mother.
  43. She invests heavily in our marriage. My wife guards our marriage, protects her own heart and emotions and happily celebrates with me, the journey we’re on.

I feel like I’m just warming up, so I guess she’ll just have to keep having birthdays so that I can keep adding to this list.

I am a blessed man, more than these words could ever express. I’m sure many of you feel the same about your families, your marriages, your friendships or about some other relationship in your life. Celebrate those people in your life, be sure to tell them how much they mean to you and my God fill you with an overflowing joy through the people closest to you.

Go ahead and take the plunge, your relationships will always be better on the water!

300

joeacast

Thank you. 300 times, thank you! Thank you for your amazing support.

Thank you for friendships.

Thank you for your encouragement and willingness to walk this Overboard journey with me and my family.

Thank you for reading this blog.

In fact, 300 times you’ve come to this blog and dialed up the words and challenges put on my heart by God and His Word. Thank you for following, reading, commenting, correcting my lousy grammar and encouraging me along the way. Most of all, thank you for growing with me as Overboard Ministries is becoming a movement of people eager to live their God-designed lives of faith, out of the comfort of the boat and out on the water where Jesus is building His Kingdom.

Over 50,000 times this blog has been read by people from 75 different countries. (I know, small potatoes for some of you bloggers, but for this boy, I’m blown away by what God has done!) 12 books have been released, with several more scheduled before year’s end. We have dozens of financial partners supporting our work each month, and nearly 100 people who pray for us regularly. The list goes on and on, and all I can say is “Thank you!”

I am humbled and grateful and can’t wait to see what God does in the next 300 blog posts.

As a way of remember the path we've traveled, here is one of my favorite blog posts (definitely t0p-5 out of 300!), dating pack to April of 2013. This was blog #102 (198 posts ago!). Enjoy.

Joe Castaneda

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Every time I watch a movie, read a story or see something about Dick and Rick Hoyt, I usually end up wiping tears from eyes. Over 950 times Dick has pushed his son Ricky in a wheel chair or pedaled him on a bike or pulled him in a canoe across race finish lines all over the U.S. Every time I think of this duo, I am reminded of what the power of a father’s love can do.

Rick Hoyt is severely disabled. And when doctors told the family to just “put him away” because he would never be more than a vegetable, the Hoyt family decided to take him home and prove doctors wrong. Take ten minutes to watch this special piece on Team Hoyt as they tell their amazing story:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36fjVFHNU48

My favorite part of the video is when Dick says, “He’s competing. I just give him my arms and legs, but he’s competing.” I am so moved by that father’s love and I am so reminded of the love of my own Heavenly Father in the same way.

I’ve often heard people use the phrase, “we are the hands and feet of Jesus” -- and in one sense it is very true. We represent Jesus in this world, and the way we walk and serve will be the best (or sometimes worst) representation of Jesus some people will ever see.

But in another very real sense, we are all like Ricky Hoyt. “Powerless” on our own, but with God as our hands and feet, we are able to compete in this life. We are able to put aside our own selfish ambition and vain conceit, we are able to serve others as we have been served, we are able to love as God loved and we are able to run our race because of God’s power in us. We aren’t gods; we are God’s.

At the end of his life, the Apostle Paul told Timothy, “I have the run the race” and he was ready to receive his reward. How did Paul run? He ran as man pushed by God. He didn’t run on his own strength, He ran with God’s! In 2 Corinthians 11:23-29, Paul lists out the trials he worked through in his life while serving God. Then, in chapter 12, he discusses a “thorn in flesh” -- some sort of extreme suffering that kept him dependent on God. And at the end of this recounting of all of his hardships Paul says this, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Paul was just admitting that he was like Ricky Hoyt. No mistaking it -- Paul was competing. But he was competing with the power of God’s arms and God’s legs, so that using God’s strength, God would be glorified in Paul’s life.

You can’t live Overboard in your own strength for very long. Let God give you the power you need to press on so, like Paul, you too can finish your race!

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make (5/10)

joeacast

I’m working my way through a book, The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make, by Hans Finzel, and I’m really enjoying the challenge. So for the next ten Saturdays I want to work through these ten mistakes, knowing that they apply to CEOs, ministry leaders, parents, teachers, coaches, pastors and just about anyone in any kind of leadership role.

  1. I promise to keep my summaries short(ish), and I would love to interact with your thoughts as we go along. These mistakes are listed in order of how they occur in the book, not necessarily how I would arrange them. Overboard Leadership requires an honest self-evaluation of each of these shortcomings (sins?) of leaders. Looking for missed posts, click here: Mistake #1, Mistake #2, Mistake #3, Mistake #4)

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Mistake #5: Dictatorship in Decision Making

National dictatorships are great if you want a quiet, generally pretty calm and usually a very predictable life. Dictators bring a form of peace that many leaders crave. But it’s a “peace” that comes by crushing the creative spirit and by devaluing the individual. Dictatorships work because people are marginalized into a “collective.”

And dictatorships fall because individuals rise up. People tired of oppression, tired of a joyless existence and tired of having life sucked out of their daily effort to survive wake up, rise up and seek their freedom.

In the same way, a leader -- in the office or home or ministry or team -- who leads like a dictator, sucks the life out of an organization and reduces people to being task-monsters. As Finzel states well, dictators believe that they have “special knowledge or an anointing that gives him or her the inside edge on truth...” They alone determine direction and they alone have the answer for every dilemma the organization faces.

As mentioned in Mistake #1, top-down leadership, the greatest good a leader does is empowering her team for success. Dictators short-circuit the success of the team by implementing their own ideas, randomly changing direction, or by sabotaging or down-playing the victories of others.

In contrast to the dictator, stands the servant leader. This leader is willing to facilitate the growth and achievement of his team, instead of crushing it by trying to control every aspect of the ministry, business or family. While Ephesians 4:12 is a specific call to pastors, I think all leaders would benefit from Paul’s words about growing others to be established in the work you are leading:  [God appointed leaders in the church] “to equip His people for works of service, so that the Body of Christ may be built up...” God didn’t appoint dictators to tell everyone how to do their jobs correctly. No! He appointed leaders to inspire others to serve, to expose the giftedness of others and to create an environment where everyone reaches the main objective under the direction of a serving, facilitating leader.

Here are 7 signs that you are leading like a dictator (or working for one!):

Stalin ruled Russia for 31 years, exiling and executing millions who were deemed "threats" to his leadership. Picture from daily telegraph: http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/photos-e6freuy9-1111120618276?page=5

  1. Information silo: You control the flow of information, including schedules, menus, long-term plans etc... It’s all in your head, or maybe even written out in a document, but it only changes when you change it.
  2. Idea threats: You feel threatened by the ideas of others, especially Mavericks (see Mistake #4). When you hear a new idea that isn’t yours, your first reaction is usually “No.”
  3. Flow chart: Your leadership flow chart is top-down. It doesn’t matter how wide it stretches, or how many arms come off your position, your position is always seen as “on top.”
  4. Unknown culture: You are distant from those you lead. You don’t really know what’s happening in their lives, and honestly, you may not even care. You keep an arms-length approach to work or family relationships.
  5. Defensive posture: You are defensive any time someone challenges or confronts you. You avoid honest sit down conversations with your team of followers, and you excuse away or blame others when your leadership is questioned.
  6. Control decisions: You make all of the decisions, or limit them to an elite team of board members or friends.
  7. Sudden changes: You make sudden changes in direction, in spending, in personnel and in general day-to-day work. Because you control the info, see ideas as threats and control decisions, sudden shifts in any aspect of the team, ministry or family is your prerogative.

Kaleo Korner 

(From my friend, Justin Vanrheenen, founder of Kaleo Media)

Let’s get real for a sec. Can a dictator change? Here’s my answer. NO. A dictator can not change, will not change, and if you work for a dictator, you have one option; resign and find a new job.

We all like to think that we can be the change, but sometimes you can’t. Hear me on this: because you can’t change the situation, it doesn’t make you a failure. Look at countries that have dictators, they have three options; military coup, get out or die. Assuming a military coup isn't a wise idea for your situation, there isn’t a middle ground.

Sometimes getting out will feel like death. You may take a hit to your reputation by the dictator. You may be ridiculed, and scorned in the process, by the dictator. But get out before you face emotional, relational, or physical death. There is no loyalty to any dictator worth your life!

By contrast, here are 7 signs that you are leading differently:

  1. Delegation: You delegate meaningful decisions to others, even decisions that rest in your areas of “control.” You willingly share your authority.
  2. Involvement: You want to include as many team members as productively possible in the process of achieving success.
  3. Information aqueduct  You want ideas and info to flow freely, to and from every member of the team.
  4. Development: Personal and team development is a crucial part of what you do.
  5. People: You see people as the organization’s greatest resource; not money, not buildings and not programs.
  6. Freedom: You give people real freedom to express their creativity and to make significant decisions.
  7. Accountability:  You maintain healthy accountability with your team, and support decisions you’ve released others to make.

Hans concludes this section by identifying two main characteristics of leaders who avoid decision-making dictatorships. One, they preserve the dignity of each individual and, two, they promote freedom and corporate creativity.

By contrast, dictators are hard to work for and impossible to please. Justin and I were emailing about this post, and we concluded that dictators remind us of the pharisees in Jesus' day. In fact, Jesus rebukes them because they ruled the people so harshly. Listen to how He describes them:

"They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them" (Matthew 23:4).

"They love the place of honor..." (23:6).

"You [the pharisees] have neglected the more important matters of the law -- justice, mercy and faithfulness..." (23:23).

"...inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence..." (23:25).

"...on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness" (23:28).

To Justin's point above -- that dictators can't change -- think of the fact that even Jesus came to pharisees, confronted them and challenged them and what was their response? "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!"

It's true that a handful of pharisees were changed by Jesus, but the vast majority of them remained stuck in their stubborn, hard-hearted ways.

How are you leading your followers (Family, business, church, ministry, organization, team...)?

Go ahead and take the plunge, your leadership will be better on the water!

Mistakes leaders make, 6/10

Special thanks to Justin VanRheenen, friend and founder of Kaleo Media. If you want to increase your online presence, or improve your social media content and skills, contact Justin and learn from him!