The biggest day of my life

When you think of big moments in your life, you generally connect them to your own memories of those events. Time has a funny way of impacting those memories, but we still have moments in time that are almost “frozen” in our minds. We can remember particular smells, colors, conversations or even what people were wearing, because those big moments are etched in stone.  

The biggest moment of my life is not one of those moments -- I literally remember nothing of that day! A lot of people recall great details of the day, my mom especially will probably never forget that moment. Me? It’s like it didn’t happen except that there is absolute evidence that it did. No matter how hard I try, no matter how many pictures I look at, I cannot recall a single detail about the events of that day.

The facts of the day are clear: On May 24, 1974 I was born. True story.

I was a plump child (so I’ve been told!) and I held on to that stoutness for a few years. But my mom says, that generally, I was a pretty easy child to take care of. Classic third born in that sense (can I get a hearty “Amen” from my third-born brethren and sisteren?!).

No matter your story today, it started the same as mine -- with the gift of life. There is no greater gift for anyone, than the gift of personhood; the gift of being. But like all great gifts, it’s what you do with it that gives it value to you and to those around you.

And that’s why I’m starting this blog series, over the next 40 days, leading up to my 40th birthday. I want to take some time to reflect on my life, share some lessons I’ve learned, hopefully reveal some moments of victory as well as moments of loss and humbling setbacks. Statistically, 40 years is about the 1/2-way point for American males, and if that’s the case for my life, I want more than ever, to make my remaining years count for something bigger than me; something that will touch lives long after I’m gone.

Taking time to reflect on our lives is an important practice. History is a great teacher. The wisest man in the world, Solomon, wrote a book that was a reflection of a period of his life. In the Bible, the book of Ecclesiastes tells Solomon’s story of what happens when a man pursues all the pleasures of life without regard for God’s standards for living. He indulged in every kind of pleasure -- concerts, crazy sexual activity, art, the making of obscene amounts of money (it was said in his day that silver was like the dust of the ground -- it was worthless because of all the gold flowing through his kingdom!), the making of great structures, possession of the world’s greatest treasures and books, parties with the wealthiest people in the world, holding court with kings and queens and enjoying every kind of alcoholic beverage he could make or buy.

At the end of it all, Solomon realized what a waste he had made of about 20 years of his life. “Meaningless” was how he described this period of his kingship. In fact, in the book of Proverbs, he pleads with his son not to follow down the path he had made for himself chasing after:

Meaningless sex. Meaningless parties. Meaningless houses. Meaningless life.

He says don’t chase after those things because they won’t sustain you.

The point is that by reflecting on his life, Solomon realized the error(s) of his thinking. I hope he made course corrections even at the end of his life, and it serves as a reminder to me -- I need to evaluate and make course corrections in my life, too. 40 is a big marker, and if this is indeed the half-way point of my life, I want to reflect and make sure I’m keeping my course set on the Overboard Life God has called me to.

Life is the greatest gift we’ve been given. I hope my life will be used in the pursuit of the things that matter most and the people that God has put within my grasp.

Thanks for joining me on this journey over the years, and thanks for following along on this 40 day blogging experience, leading up to my 40th birthday. Please join the conversation with your comments and questions. Please share your stories. Most of all, may we all be challenged to step out of the comfort of the boat, and in faith in the Great Giver of Life, may we all walk on water with Jesus.

1 down, 39 to go.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better on the water.

Pleasure (3/3)

[Today is the 3rd part of a three-part series on joy that began earlier this summer. I took a small break between completing the series, so if you need to refresh your memory, you can revisit PART 1 and PART 2 to get caught up.] In the first two posts about pleasure, we talked about the two extremes we must avoid. The first is the belief that everything in life is ultimately about my pleasure. This is extreme expresses itself when people make every decision based on how much pleasure they will receive from it. As Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes, there is no amount of pleasure that will every satisfy our lives and this extreme must be avoided.

The second extreme is equally unsatisfying, and that is the belief that we should avoid all pleasure, or that somehow, by not taking pleasure in things, we will be more spiritual. God created things for our pleasure, for our enjoyment, and we insult our Creator’s gifts and power when we choose to be without joy over the work He has done, and is doing!

So what’s the middle ground? How can we take pleasure in this life, without letting pleasure consume us? How can we learn to say “no” to things without saying “no” to everything? How do we find balance when it comes to pleasure?

Beats me. But here are a few concepts that help me, and maybe they will help you:

1. Remember, joy and pleasure are gifts from God: James 1:17 reminds us that all our good and perfect gifts are given to us by God. God is a giver of good things. In Philippians, Paul tells us, repeatedly, to “rejoice in the Lord!” In Philippians 3:1 he says, “Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.” Then in Philippians 4:4 he says, “Rejoice in the lord, always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Joy and pleasure are gifts from God -- He expects us to enjoy them!
2. Moderation and self-control are central to keeping pleasure in its place: Without self-control, pleasure can too easily become the drive in our life’s direction. Pleasure can consume us and ultimately, take us away from the path God has laid out for us. Did you ever see the Johnny Depp version of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”? In the movie, Willie Wonka the benevolent chocolatier, played by Depp, is going to give away his chocolate empire to one worthy child. He holds a contest and several children win the chance to come to the chocolate factory to be “tested” by Willie to determine who will be the new king/queen of chocolate. One of the winners is a rather large, chocolate-loving child from germany. In fact, he won by eating thousands of chocolate bars in order to find the winning ticket that was put inside 5 special bars. In the first part of the tour, the children are guided into a room made entirely of candy. The grass. The trees. The flowers. The soil. Everything is made of candy, centered on a flowing river made entirely of chocolate. The young boy from Germany cannot resist the temptation, and although warned by Willie to avoid it, he runs instantly to the river and plunges himself into the chocolate he so loves. The plunge costs him his chance at chocolate greatness and he is the first child eliminated from being the next heir of Willie’s empire. It’s a silly movie (that I strangely enjoyed), but it repeatedly illustrates this truth: The pursuit of pleasure will destroy a life, but self-control can bring balance. Solomon spent over 20 years of life pursuing pleasure. In Ecclesiastes 2 he says he refused himself nothing in the pursuit of pleasure. Pleasures that included entertainment, sex, money, work, fine living and more. At the end of it all, he found emptiness and not a hint of satisfaction. It’s no mistake that Peter tells us, “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control....” (2 Peter 1:5). Self-control gives us the freedom to enjoy the pleasures of life, without being consumed by them.
3. Thankfulness keeps us mindful of God’s provision of pleasure: Paul wrote in 1 Thess 5:16-18, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances...” We usually take the “give thanks” command as something we are to do in tough circumstances. But notice Paul says to do so, “in all circumstances” -- even the good ones! God’s children should be the most thankful people on the planet! When’s the last time you gave God a hearty “thank you” after you took pleasure in something He provided? We often pray before our meals, but have you ever thanked God after a meal? Have you ever had a wonderful steak, grilled to perfection, and sat back from the table and said, “Thank you God for that wonderful meal?” We should be a thankful people, and especially when pleasure is involved. I am confident, that gratitude and thankfulness are huge keys in putting pleasure in its right perspective in our lives!

Life is full of opportunities to enjoy. When you and I live in faith, grabbing the sides of the boat and taking the plunge onto the water, we will experience joy and pleasure like never before, and that’s how God intended it! However, the pursuit of pleasure can be destructive to a life, and the Overboard life must be marked by faith, not by fun. Pursuing faith first, will provide the fun; but pursuing the fun first, will destroy the faith. Let’s enjoy this wonderful life, and let’s enjoy it in a way that honors our creator God.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always more fun on the water!