Three thoughts for the weekend

It was a big show down. Me and two of my buddies, Joe T and Terry K, were going to meet up with three other guys to settle a big dispute. It was a proverbial “meet me at the flagpole” kind of event, and there was no turning back now. You could almost hear the eerie music playing in the background, the spurs on our boots rattling as we walked to the middle of town for a big shoot out. That’s what it felt like.  

You see, Terry had heard that Larry had something some bad about me. So now it was time to confront the talk. Basically, I told Larry, “I dare you to say it to my face!” and so we agreed at a set time to meet on the playground for this face-to-face confrontation to take place.

Now, at this point in my life, I had never actually been in a fight, and in fact, to this day in my life, I have never been in a real fist fight. Larry was short but strong, had been in lots of fights, and honestly, this was going to end badly for me. I think Terry and Joe came for moral support, and to be able to tell my mom that I died in glorious fashion at my own O.K. Corral.

We waited around a few minutes but Larry never made an appearance. By the grace of God, Larry had gotten in trouble in Mrs. Zioski’s class and had to stay in for recess. I lived another day, and by lunch we had decided that Larry wasn’t worth the trouble (ie. I didn’t want to go through life with my nose attached to my ear) and we all (including Larry) played football in our afternoon recess.

I talked a good game, especially when Larry wasn’t around, but truth is, I never ever mocked Larry for not showing up. It’s so easy to destroy people with our words in front of others, or on social media or through texting, but another thing entirely to do it when they are in our presences, especially if we feel threatened. Talk is easy.

Check out this piece by Jimmy Fallon involving Seattle Mariner baseball star, Robinson Cano. Last year, Cano played for the NY Yankees, but was traded to Seattle in the off-season. As the Mariners were getting ready to head to NY for Robinson’s first visit back to NY after being traded, Fallon thought it would be funny to let NY Yankee fans practice their booing. So Jimmy set up a cardboard cut out of Cano in a park, then invited Yankee fans to demonstrate their booing techniques. What happens next is hilarious:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b9rOji_PWY

You see, before Cano actually showed up, it was easy to bad-mouth him and talk badly about his character, his skill and his decision making. But the minute Robinson appeared, everybody’s tone changed. They offered man-hugs, high fives and even encouragement when they were facing the real Cano instead of the cardboard Cano.

So what do we learn about this video? Here are three thoughts for this weekend about our words around others:

Gossip will always come back to bite you: If you enjoy berating people behind their backs or blasting them through passive aggressive facebook posts (“some people I work with are complete idiots” was on my FB feed this week!) just know that it will always come back to bite you. Gossips are always easy targets for gossip. It’s just a fact of relationship: people who listen to gossip are the people who share gossip, and they are non-discriminate. In other words, when they hear gossip about you, they’ll spread it just like any other news. I always chuckle when one of my kids is involved in a circle of gossip, and then are crushed when they become the subject of someone else’s gossip. I always remind them that gossip is a sin (1 Timothy 5:13) and that people who gossip don’t care who it’s about! Gossip will always come back to bite you.

Ending gossip is easy: If you want to put an end to family or office gossip, it’s easy: stop participating. Don’t spread it. Don’t listen to it. Don’t pay any attention to those that gossip. I promise you that soon people will take you out of the loop and you won’t find yourself having to do the socially awkward political dance when you see people that you’ve heard gossip about. You know what else will happen? You will attract people to you who share your same anti-gossip conviction. There is something awesome about not having to worry about what everyone else is saying, and instead, having meaningful conversations and relationships. In reality, gossip is one of the ultimate forms of not caring for someone enough to do anything to help them, choosing instead, to just talk about their character flaws or personal mistakes. We end gossip when we begin to genuinely care for those around us.

Practice first-person problem solving: Ending gossip doesn’t mean ignoring real problems. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Ending gossip means confronting problem first-person style! Instead of airing out my problems online or at the office water cooler, I deal with relationship issue the way Matthew 18:15-17 tells me to: person-to-person. If I have an issue with you, I go to you. If I was offended by something you said, I take it up with you. If you don’t like how I’m leading the business, you come to me. If you think I was sarcastic and cut you down in public, you take it up with me. By following God’s plan for problem solving we eliminate the place for gossip and we create peace instead of tension.

Telling a cardboard cut-out how you feel about it is easy; telling someone face-to-face is hard. Let’s not be like angry NY Yankee fans when it comes to personal conflict but instead, let’s follow the path the Bible lays out for us and choose God’s path for problem solving.

There is no gossip out side of the boat, so go ahead and take the plunge -- life is better on the water!

3 thoughts about living in the moment

Can you relate to this video? Do you know someone in your life that reminds you of the people in this 2-minute mini-movie?  

In our efforts to live our big dreams, it can be easy to forget to enjoy the process of reaching our God-sized goals. There are so many precious moments along the journey of an Overboard Life, moments that capture God’s love, encourage broken hearts, lift fallen spirits, bring smiles, create laughter, instill hope and strengthen faith, and it’s so easy to miss these moments because we quit looking. Our vision can become so narrow and so focused, that we miss what God is doing all around us.

I hope you are chasing big dreams and goals in 2014, trying to write an even better story than you wrote in 2013. But as you do, don’t forget to enjoy the journey, and to live in the ‘now moments’ that God has graciously given you to enjoy. Here are three thoughts for you about enjoying the journey today, while you work toward something bigger tomorrow!

1. Take time each day, maybe once at lunch and once before bed, to write down the great moments from the day. Every day has great moments. Yes, every day. It could come in the form of a free lunch, an encouraging text or note at just the right time, a verse God gave you to get you through a tough time or through some act of service you performed or was performed for you. Every day has moments where the love and goodness of God is evident on the journey we’re on. Take time each day to record those moments and you will find yourself happier along the way.
2. Intentionally choose to serve others, every day. Sometimes when life is throwing us curveball after curveball, it’s easy to turn our focus entirely inward. We begin to think only about ourselves, our circumstances and the lousy day/week/month we’re having. Take time every day to serve someone else. Take time to intentionally make someone else’s day. It could be a spouse, a child, a co-worker, parent, boss, neighbor, pastor or stranger. By shifting the focus from your circumstances and pursuits, to the circumstances and pursuits of others, you’ll find your own journey is more enjoyable. The first few verses of Philippians 2 tell us that Jesus chose to keep others [you and me!] in his vision while He lived on earth. So He served us, while obeying the Father, when He went to the cross to pay for our sin and brokenness. What was the result? According to Hebrews 12:3, it was joy! Focused service on others helps us enjoy the journey and it’s amazing how often you’ll serve others and find you reach your own destination more quickly!
3. Put down the technology and look around you. I’m not trying to oversimplify this, but our technology driven culture often misses great moments, ironically, in an attempt to capture them digitally. Traci and I were in Hawaii a few years ago and I was obsessed with getting pics of this beautiful sunset we were watching. I wanted to create that perfect Instagram that people would love. After 20 or 30 pics, I nailed it. Only problem? My poor wife wanted to enjoy this romantic moment with her husband sitting beside her. She was hoping to just lean against him as they both relished the beauty of God’s paintbrush while the sun dipped below the horizon. I “captured the moment” on my phone, but totally missed it in life. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to -- I knew I blew it. I made sure the next night was a photo free romantic sunset night -- and I just enjoyed the moment for what it was, not for the comments I’d get on my picture. I’m a techno-geek and love how my life iLife is connected and interconnected. But just like the video above, it can be so easy to “connect” with a facebook audience while totally missing the people right next to you; I mean, literally, the people who are physically right next to you. People in the same house, same room or even sitting at the same table. Put down the tech, and look up -- you’ll see some great moments happening all around you, and you’ll still have plenty of time to take that pic or capture that video.

What are some ways you’ve enjoyed the journey? Got some other thoughts about this? Please share them in the comments and let others know how you enjoy the moments you are living in!

Go ahead and take the plunge, your journey is always better on the water!

3 thoughts to start your week off right!

For most of us, the week starts on Monday. Many wake up Monday dreading the days that lie before them, while others wake up with anticipation for good things. Some start the week and just wonder how it’s going to go, knowing that, like-it-or-not, the new week is here. What about starting the week with on the right foot? What about jumping up tomorrow and getting into your day with a fundamental view toward seeing great things happen -- toward living the Overboard Life? Let me give you three hints to getting your week off to that kind of start:

1. Change the morning mindset: A few years ago I realized I was walking around telling myself how I tired I was, all the time. Sometimes I think I really was tired, but other times I think I was just so much in the habit of self-talk, that I convinced myself I was tired. I remember one day as I was walking to my office thinking, “Man, I’m tired” when I decided to stand up to myself. “Am I really tired?” Myself was stunned that I would be so brash, but myself did some thinking. Then I said to me, “You know what, I don’t think I really am tired. I slept 8 hours, had a great breakfast, a good work out and actually, I think I’m feeling pretty good.” That was a turning point for me. The simple change of mindset literally put a different outlook on my day. What thinking patterns are putting your Mondays off to a bad start? Are you waking up Monday anticipating the worst, feeling horrible and dreading the week simply because you’ve already decided that the worst will happen? Wake up tomorrow intentionally choosing your thoughts.
2. Put God’s Word in your routine: I know my weeks don’t go well when I start them without God’s Word present. It’s amazing what a little time each day can do to shape the outcome of day, week, month, year…or life. Now don’t get me wrong, the Bible (or God!) isn’t some Genie in a Bottle that if you read it right, your life will be great! However, it’s frequent that I start with a simple passage (like Psalm 103) and find a powerful truth that helps shape my thinking for the rest of the day (like verse 14 where God promises to remove my sins as far as the east is from the west!). Maybe you’re not used to reading your Bible -- that’s ok, just start small. Read a chapter a day in the book of John. Start with a couple of Psalms. Open to Proverbs and just read the words of the world’s wisest man. Even 5 minutes a day can be a difference maker.
3. Make it your goal to encourage others: Imagine waking up tomorrow and thinking, “What can I do today to encourage/help/bless/thank [insert name of person here]?”. When we start with a focus on others, it actually shifts our attitudes towards giving, rather than taking and consuming. Consumers tend to be complainers. Traci and I marvel at how often we see some one receiving a gift or blessing, yet hear them complaining about how it was the wrong gift, how much more they need, how bad their lives are etc… etc… People who primarily consume are people who primarily complain. If you go to work or school to consume (time, money, other people’s time/energy) you will find yourself lacking, and most likely complaining, upset, cranky, frustrated and eager for Friday to get here.

How will your week go? Truly only God knows, but there are some choices you can make to get in the right mindset. What will you choose?

Go ahead and the the plunge…life is always better on the water! (Even on Monday!)

Three thoughts for the weekend

As you prepare to enjoy the pre-thanksgiving weekend, here are three thoughts to help you maintain a thankful spirit. And instead of trying to convince you to be thankful for all that you have etc.. etc… I thought I’d challenge you to beware of three gratitude stealing attitudes that can easily destroy our thankfulness.

1. Victim mentality: All of us fall prey to this attitude. It happens when we look at our circumstances and instead of taking ownership for the life we possess, we blame our life on others. It is impossible to be thankful when you hold everyone/everything else responsible for the direction of your life. As we say to ourselves and our children all the time, “Your response is your responsibility!”
2. Scarcity mentality: Another attitude that can steal away a spirit of thankfulness exists when you live in scarcity instead of abundance. The problem with scarcity is that it implies that God isn’t able to supply what’s missing or needed in our lives, and instead, our hope for the future rests in our own abilities. Ephesians 3:20 reminds us that, “God can do anything you know, far more than you could ever imagine, guess or request in your wildest dreams” (Msg). God’s resources (time, money, health, faith, courage etc…) aren’t limited, and when we live in scarcity we are truly calling into question God’s ability to supply. “My God” says Paul, “[can] supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:13). Living with an attitude of abundance always leads to gratitude!
3. Default decisions: This happens when fear dominates our emotions and thoughts, and all of our choices are based on avoiding bad things. When you choose to homeschool your children because you are afraid of other alternatives, instead of choosing it because you believe it’s the best option for your kids -- that’s a decision by default. When I choose not to publish a blog or work on a book project because I’m not sure anyone is even reading, that’s a decision by default, and it’s impossible to be thankful when I’m living in fear.

As you enter a week of thanksgiving, let’s watch out for subtle (and not-so-subtle!) attitudes that can steal away our thankfulness. When you step out of the boat and out on the water, you must rise above victimhood, scarcity and fear making it possible -- and likely! -- that you will be living in thanks for all that God has done, is doing and will do in and through you.

Go ahead and take the plunge, life is always better -- and there’s more to be thankful for -- on the water!