I am reading a book by Beth Moore called Audacious. This book was given to me over a year ago and sat motionless on my shelf. I am not a quick reader, but I have learned to read the books I am given, especially during a tough season, because there are so many lessons to be learned and so many valuable nuggets out of a book. However, many months went by, and then in a season of decluttering and letting go of extra things, I considered getting rid of it. Instead I decided to actually read it, and I am so very glad I did.
This book is stirring feelings within me that I haven't felt in some time. I've been a little numb. Ok, I've been a lot numb. I, who love setting goals and creating dream boards, have been asking myself questions like, "What's the point of goals and dreams?" I didn't like that I felt that way, but after several major disappointments and uncertainty about the future that question was my reality. I wrestled through these thoughts with God, and this book is causing me to think about some of the answers as well as some different questions.
One of the big questions in setting goals is that of desire or want. What do you want? I love how this book, Audacious, brought out how often we talk, wish for, and almost whine about the things we need. For example:
I need to get up when my alarm goes off in the morning.
I need to do the dishes.
I need to teach my kids how to put the dishes in the dishwasher properly.
I need to get up and do something productive.
I need to read my Bible.
I need to go grocery shopping.
I need to pray for that friend of mine.
I need to save more money.
I need to clean the house.
Do any of these phrases sound familiar? They are all-too-familiar to me. I am amazed how often I use (and hear others use) the word "need." We all need a lot. Some of these "needs" are real, big, legitimate, and things that must be provided from an outside source. As in, I need $300 to pay that bill and I don't know where it will come from. However, I think more often than not we spend our words and our energies sitting on the couch, playing games on our phone, watching shows on Netflix, seeking out gossip on Facebook, while talking about how much we need to be doing something else.
So, my question to you and my question to myself is, "What do you really want?"
I don't mean replacing "need" with "want" on the list above. I am talking about a core, long-term, purposeful, this-life-is-about-more-than-what's-in-front-of-me way: what do I want? The question for me really is this: Do I want Jesus? Do I want to know Him deeply? Do I want to love Him and learn from Him and live this life with eternal, long-lasting, legacy-leaving purpose?
I don't always want that, but I want to want that and I want to do things, say things, and make choices that move me in that direction. Because I know that the numb life is only satisfied in finding purpose. And the only purpose that is satisfying (because it's apart from and bigger than me) is a purpose about others. And the only way I can care more about others than myself - truly awakening myself - is to want Jesus more!
I want to BE Extraordinary!
My name is Traci, and I love sharing insights that challenge and encourage people to be the best version of themselves. Click HERE to receive updates from Be Extraordinary!