Pain. Hurt. Betrayal. Suffering. Most don't walk many days in their adult lives (or even in their lives period) without experiencing pain. Whether it's intentional or not, we humans have a way of hurting each other. We betray our word to ourselves and others, we cause pain, and we enact suffering. I, too, have experienced pain multiple times in my life. 2015 was one of my most difficult. It was a betrayal and pain that impacted my husband and my children which was part of the incredible intensity of the hurt and the ramifications continued into 2016.
I have worked - and continually work - on forgiveness. A few month after the initial big hurt I came to understand a few additional steps in the forgiveness process that changed my perspective, gave me much-needed tools, and changed me at the core. You can read about that here.
Healing from these internal wounds required repetition (sometimes multiple times each day) of the steps to forgiveness. I hoped that in time I would no longer feel the sting at the mention of certain people or places, but wasn't sure what else to do except to continue repeating the powerful forgiveness steps. . . until recently. I attended a retreat (the same retreat where I learned the steps to forgiveness), and there, while singing a song that I don't even remember the words to, it hit me. What hit me? The following story which I will relay to you straight from my journal.
"Thanksgiving. For the first time, today. I felt true thankfulness for all that has transpired in the last 15 months. God Himself led us to Michigan knowing what the outcome would be. He knew the hurt we would experience. He knew the broken our whole family would feel. He knew of the betrayal before it became a thought in anyone's mind. He saw it all...and He led us anyway. God did not just send us to Michigan or even lead us. He walked WITH us. He smiled at our joy, adventure, and hope. And then, He held us in, through, and beyond the crushing blow. He was right there when we fell to our knees in sorrow and when we shouted in anger. He was there because He went there with with us. Oh praise His name. We are who we are and where we are because of Him. He called us to walk on water with Him in the midst of a storm. In fierce wind, waves, and rain He stood beside us. He walked with us because He already knew the road. Long ago, He walked the Via Dolorosa FOR ME. And then, He asked me to join Him in His suffering. What an honor! How amazing that He counted me and my family worthy to share in His suffering. To whom much has been given, much will be expected. Sharing in this suffering, I have been given so very much. What will I give in return?"
God Himself orchestrated my suffering! I thank Him for this journey. And, I have perspective in this journey because it is not about what other people did to my husband and our family...it is not about survival of a terrible circumstance...it is not about so many things. It IS about choosing to live a Be Extraordinary life. I have asked for and desired this and God said, "Ok" and walked our family into something extraordinary. Something that for a long time I saw as a detour to our dreams, but in reality it was the only way to get there.
Be Extraordinary is about BE-ing and BE-coming who we need to BE in order to go live out our extraordinary calling. Apparently the extraordinary (and Overboard) lives me and my husband desire needed a little perspective, a dose of suffering that brought us to a place of newfound thanksgiving.
Whatever part of the path you are currently on,
My name is Traci, and I love sharing insights that challenge and encourage people to be the best version of themselves. Click HERE to receive updates from Be Extraordinary!